No Matter What (82 page)

Kenny drained the last of his beer from the bottle and got off his stool, grabbing his jacket from the bar.
 
“Then I’m very pleased for you.
 
But I’ve had a long day and I’m shattered.
 
See you around.”

Vince watched him walk away, all female eyes on him as he walked across the terrace, but it was more than obvious that Kenny Ross only had eyes for one girl.
 
A girl he couldn’t have anymore.
 
Unless something was going on that Vince wasn’t aware of.

As Vince swung back round on his stool, something – or rather, some
one
- caught his eye and his stomach dipped as a cold feeling of uneasiness suddenly swept over him.
 
This was someone he’d seen hanging around the hotel a lot since India and Kenny had become resident here and all of a sudden a thought crossed Vince’s mind that he hoped to God wasn’t true.
 
But a conversation he’d had a few weeks ago couldn’t stop him from thinking any other way.
 
To be sure he’d have to wait until
India
was back in Vegas but, if he was right, then it was going to stop.
 
It was going to stop right now.
 
Before somebody really got hurt.

CHAPTER 41

Being back in Vegas didn’t feel as bad as
India
thought it would feel.
 
Leaving Michael had been tough, no doubt about that, but he was coming to visit her next weekend and that one thought was keeping her going.
 
But a part of her was glad to be away from
L.A.
again.

She’d spent the past few days obsessing about getting pregnant and now she was away from Michael, away from the situation, it gave her time to think about it, time to think about what it was she was doing.
 
And while the sheer enormity of it all, and her reasons for doing it, were more than a little frightening, she still wanted it more than she could explain.

She and Bobby had gone straight to the villa after arriving in Vegas on Friday evening, and despite getting a text from Kenny asking if she’d got there ok, she didn’t really want to see him straightaway.
 
She’d told him she was fine, but she was tired. She’d have to face him in the morning and that would be soon enough.
 
She was straight back to work first thing Saturday and her first scene was with Kenny so there’d be no avoiding him.
 
But that evening she’d just wanted to relax, so she and Bobby had ordered dinner and then snuggled up together on India’s huge bed and watched TV with a bottle of wine and a packet of Oreo’s, something India was addicted to.
 
The only other person she’d talked to that night had been Michael, who she’d spent over an hour speaking to on the ‘phone until she was so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

It was an early call on Saturday morning and
India
had been glad that Bobby was around to wake her up because she could have stayed in bed all day if it was up to her.
 

She’d just got out of the shower when he came back into the bedroom with a cup of coffee.

“Bobby!
 
I’m practically naked here!”

“Angel, you might be totally stunning - and I don’t deny that you are - but you do absolutely nothing for me.
 
Kenny’s downstairs.
 
Here’s your coffee.”

“Kenny’s downstairs?”
 
She quickly towel-dried her hair and pulled on combats and a white t-shirt, looking around for her baseball boots.
 
“And lose the coffee, Bobby.
 
You won’t win that one.”

“Worth a try,” Bobby sighed, handing
India
the boots she was looking for. “There’s a pot of nice English tea for you down in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.”
 
She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her boots on. “What’s Kenny doing here anyway?”

“Said he thought he’d just pop over for some breakfast.
 
He’s looking totally gorgeous this morning, by the way.
 
So sexy ...”

India
looked at her P.A. as he drifted off into some Kenny Ross themed fantasy.
 
“Bobby?
 
Hello?”

“Oh, sorry, angel.
 
I can’t help myself sometimes.
 
He’s wearing this t-shirt that’s so tight!”

“Go to work, Bobby,”
India
laughed, kissing him quickly.
 
“I’ll deal with Kenny.”

Bobby mock-sighed and turned on his heels.
 
“Oh, you get all the fun, it’s so not fair.”

India
quickly applied a coat of mascara and some lip gloss, running her fingers through her damp hair before she went downstairs.

She found Kenny sitting at the breakfast bar looking through the script she’d left lying there overnight, and Bobby had been absolutely right, he did look incredibly handsome in a tight white t-shirt, scruffy jeans and biker boots, his dark hair all messed up, his face carrying slight stubble.

He looked up and smiled at her.
 
She ignored the somersault her stomach did.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.
 
You?”

“Quit with the small talk,
India
, and come here, will you.”

She looked at him, not really wanting to get any closer, but on the other hand she wanted everything to be as normal as possible.
 
Or as normal as it could be under these confusing circumstances.
 
So she walked over to him and quickly kissed his cheek.

“What are you doing here, Kenny?”
 
She was asking him that question a lot these days.
 
She’d never used to.

“No harm in coming to have breakfast with my best friend, is there?”

She didn’t reply but no, there wasn’t.
 
If that was all this was.

“Michael alright?” Kenny asked, going back to flicking through the script.

“He’s fine.”
 
She poured herself a mug of tea and turned round, leaning back against the counter, looking at Kenny.
 
“He’s quite excited, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Kenny asked. “What about?”

India
took a sip of tea, still looking at Kenny.
 
“About the fact we’ve finally decided to start trying for a baby.”

Kenny looked up sharply.
 
“What?”

“We’re trying for a baby.”

He pushed the script aside, still staring at
India
.
 
What the fuck was going on here?
 
 
What the hell was she talking about?

“You don’t
want
a baby,
India
, you told me, you told Michael, Jesus, you told everyone!
 
For fucks’ sake, you were only arguing about it a couple of weeks ago and now you stand there and tell me you’ve decided you
want
to be a mom?
 
 
Why?
 
 
I’m not getting this.”

“I’m in love with my husband.”

“Oh, whatever,
India
.”
 
He stood up and walked over to her.
 
“This isn’t sitting right with me.
 
I tell you I’m in love with you, I tell you all of that, that whole situation in
Malibu
happened and then all of a sudden, all of a fucking sudden you decide you want a baby?
 
So, I’ll ask you again,
India
.
 
Why?”

She looked at him, right at him, and she suddenly felt stronger than she had done in a long time.
 
At least, she thought she did.
 

“Because it’s time, Kenny.
 
It’s time Michael and I really settled down and made that final commitment.
 
We need this baby.”

“Bullshit!”
 
Kenny pushed a hand through his dark hair and turned around for a second before looking back at her.
 
“You’re kidding yourself.
 
You’re kidding Michael; you have no idea what you’re doing.
 
Jesus, I don’t believe this.
 
You can’t go through with this,
India
.”

“Too late.”

“What do you mean, too late?”

“We’ve already started trying.
 
I could already be pregnant.”

Kenny stared at her.
 
“You’re serious, aren’t you?
 
You’re fucking serious.”

“Of course I’m serious.”

“Are you crazy?”

“I need this baby, Kenny.”

“To make you forget about me?
 
Is that why you’re doing this?”

She just looked at him and he gave a cynical laugh.

“You’re out of your fucking mind,
India
.
 
Do you really think having a baby is going to end all of this?
 
Do you?”

“Yes, I do, it has to, Kenny.
 
It has to because I don’t want to lose Michael.
 
I can’t lose Michael.”

“Then you’re even crazier than I thought you were.
 
Don’t you remember the last time?
 
Don’t you remember
Newcastle
?
 
You were pregnant then,
India
, you were having his baby then and it didn’t stop you wanting me, it didn’t stop you fucking me ...”

She slapped him hard, upset and angry with not just him but herself. Everything he was saying was true and she knew that, she knew it only too well.

He put his hand to his face and looked at her, but her face was expressionless.

“Do you really want him,
India
?
 
Do you really love Michael enough to go through with having his baby?”

She felt tears pricking the back of her eyes, blinking them back as she turned away for a second.

“
India
?”

She turned back to face him, nodding.
 
“Yes.
 
I do.”

“More than me?
 
Do you love him more than me?”

She nodded again, not even thinking about it because, if she did, she couldn’t be sure of what she’d say.
 
“I love him like crazy, Kenny.
 
And if having his baby is the only way I can make sure we stay together then I’ll do it.
 
I’ll do anything it takes.”

Kenny shook his head, knowing this was wrong, this was stupid, she wasn’t thinking straight.
 
Once again Michael Walsh had got to her and he certainly didn’t seem to be loosening that hold.
 
Kenny could try but he was losing this one fast.

“You don’t know what you’re getting into here,
India
.”

“I know I love my husband.
 
And I know he loves me.”

“And that’s good enough, is it?”

She looked at him again, weakening with every second that passed and she couldn’t answer him.
 
The words wouldn’t come.

“Is that good enough,
India
?”

“Don’t do this to me, Kenny.
 
Please.
 
Not again.”

“I’m not doing anything, baby.”
 
He moved closer, reaching out to stroke her cheek and she couldn’t move.
 
It was like she was rooted to the spot and no matter how much she wanted to she just couldn’t move.

“Kenny ...”

“I love you,
India
.
 
I love you and I’ll never go away.
 
Never.
 
I love you, and nothing you do will ever change that.”

She shook her head, confused as hell but unable to move, unable to stop looking at him, unable to stop him moving closer to her, their mouths almost touching, and she knew she should push him away, she should stop this but she couldn’t.
 
She couldn’t stop him from pulling her close, his body warm and oh so familiar as his mouth lowered down onto hers in a slow and deep and beautiful kiss that was making her cry but she couldn’t stop it.
 
She didn’t want to, and that realisation scared her to death because this wasn’t right.
 
Or was it?
 
 
Was
this
right and what she was doing with Michael wrong?

“No, Kenny, stop!
 
Please.”

She finally found the strength to pull away from him, turning away and wiping the tears from her eyes.