No Matter What (123 page)

He looked up again and smiled.
 
“Are you going all broody on me?”

“Christ, no!”

She noticed the look on his face change as he looked back down.

She sat up.
 
“Joe?
 
Would it be such a bad thing if I was?
 
Broody, I mean?”

He looked up at her.
 
“No, actually.
 
It wouldn’t.”

She got up and went over to him.
 
“Is this something we need to talk about?”

He leaned forward and kissed her slowly, smiling.
 
“No, but … well, maybe it’s something we need to … to
think
about, that’s all.
 
We’ve got our whole future ahead of us and, who knows what that might involve.”

She smiled too, squeezing his hand.
 
She hadn’t even given a second thought to having more kids.
 
She’d put enough thought into having Ethan, but once he’d been born she couldn’t have envisaged life without him and if she and Joe were to really make a go of things then maybe a family was something they did need to think about. But she was almost thirty-nine years old.
 
There wasn’t that much time left for thinking as far as she was concerned.

“I’m not trying to push you into anything,
India
, I’m sorry.
 
That was a bit selfish of me.”

She put a hand to the side of his face, touching it gently, smiling.
 
“No, it’s fine.
 
It’s ok.
 
It was just something I hadn’t given any thought to really

because … well, because I had no reason to before, did I?”

He put his script down and turned to face her.
 
“What about you and Kenny?”

“Me and Kenny?
 
What’s
he
got to do with anything?”

“Did you two never think about having kids?
 
When you were together?”

“Me and Kenny were together for about five minutes, Joe.”

“You were married, though.”

“That never felt like a marriage.
 
Not really.
 
It was too rushed into; it was a spur-of-the-moment, crazy, ridiculous thing that we did because we were young and infatuated with each other.
 
So no, we never thought about kids.
 
That was one thing that was never going to happen with me and Kenny.”

  
He took her hand, his fingers slipping between hers.
 
“What’s the deal with you two?
 
I mean, I know you’re friends ...”

“He’s my best friend, Joe, and I really need you to accept that.
 
He’ll always be in my life.
 
Always.
 
But I don’t love him like that, like I love you.
 
I don’t love him like I love you.”

JJ looked down at their joined hands, then back up at her.
 
“I know.”

“The days of running to him are over.
 
They’re gone.”

JJ smiled, leaning forward to kiss her again.
 
“I’ve got you all to myself then?”

She smiled back, moving closer to him, all traces of tiredness suddenly disappearing.
 
“Well, until trouble gets here with his granddad, yes.
 
You have.”

“So, you reckon we should make use of these last few minutes alone then?”

She pushed herself against him, sliding her hand up under his t-shirt.
 
“It wouldn’t hurt, would it?”

He pulled his t-shirt off and
India
felt her knees go weak, despite the fact she was sitting down.
 
“What you got in mind then, beautiful?”

She ran her fingers lightly over his naked chest, looking up into his eyes.
 
“Oh, I was thinking, maybe, a little sex in the shower, both of us naked and wet.
 
Because I’m suddenly feeling very, very dirty.”

“Jesus, you should come with a warning,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her up.
 
“Come on.
 
Let’s go.
 
We might not have much time but I’m sure as hell gonna use what do we have wisely.”

***

Kenny hadn’t been up to see
India
yet and he’d been here in Vegas for hours now.
 
But there was a reason for that.
 
If he went to see her then he’d more than likely back down from what it was he’d come here to do, and he was already wondering whether he should actually go through with it or not as it was.
 
But he couldn’t sit back and do nothing, not anymore.
 
He’d done so for months now and he knew that, for his own peace of mind, he had to say something, even though he knew
India
would go crazy if she ever found out.
 
Which is why he hadn’t gone to see her.
 
She could read him like a book sometimes and he didn’t want her to know what he was doing here.
 
He didn’t want her to ever know what he was going to do.

So he’d told nobody he was coming to Vegas and, if he could manage it, he’d make sure nobody got to know he’d ever been here at all.
 
He didn’t want anyone else involved in this.
 
Except the one person he’d really come here to see, and he hadn’t showed up yet.

He’d been at the bar for ages, just watching everything going on around him and waiting until, finally, there he was.
 
Michael Walsh, thankfully alone.
 
Out of everyone connected with
India
, Kenny was the one who’d had the least contact with Michael over the years, only really speaking to him if he happened to be the one dropping Ethan off or collecting him from Michael’s place, which was never very often.
 
But he was going to speak to him now.
 
He was going to say everything he’d wanted to say to him ever since India had told him the truth about why they’d really split up.
 
The days of Kenny keeping quiet were over.

He walked slowly over to Michael, who was collecting something from behind reception, smiling at the girl behind the desk.

“Michael?”

Michael swung round, his smile still intact as he looked at Kenny.
 
“Kenny?
 
What are
you
doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

Michael frowned.
  
“Me?
 
Why?”

“Can we have a word?
 
Somewhere more private?”

Michael was more than slightly puzzled, to say the least.
 
Why would Kenny come all the way to Vegas to talk to him when they’d never really had that much to talk about before?
 
What could he possibly have to say to him?

“Is this something to do with
India
?” Michael asked.

“Can we just go somewhere?” Kenny replied.
 
He was starting to get slightly agitated at all the questions.

“Is she alright?”
 
Michael saw the look on Kenny’s face and decided it was probably best just to see what it was he had to say.
 
If something
had
been wrong with
India
then surely Reece would have let him know, not Kenny.
 
So whatever it was that Kenny had come to say was still a mystery to Michael as he opened the door of his villa.

But the speed of what happened next took him completely by surprise.
 
He hadn’t even had time to turn around before Kenny had kicked the door shut behind them, shoving Michael up hard against the wall.
 
All that anger he’d kept hidden for months was finally coming to the surface and Kenny couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.

“I know what you did to her, you fucking bastard!
 
She told me, she told me everything and I, for one, don’t blame her for one fucking second for not wanting to set eyes on you ever again.
 
I should lay you out; I should finish you off and get you out of our lives forever.”

Michael pulled himself together almost immediately, pushing Kenny away from him with a force that Kenny hadn’t seen coming as he stumbled backwards, grabbing the banister behind him to steady himself.

“What did she tell you, huh?
 
What did she say I did to her?”

Kenny stared at him, refusing to be intimidated by him.
 
He might have managed to do that to
India
but it wasn’t going to happen with him.

“She said no and you just went ahead and did it anyway … your own wife.
 
No wonder she hates you.
 
It all makes perfect sense now.”

Michael looked directly at Kenny.
 
“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“Fucking bullshit, Michael!
 
You spied on her, you cheated on her then you fucking raped her, what kind of a monster are you?”

“Oh, get over yourself, Kenny.
 
The pair of you were fucking behind my back for years, I touched Layla once ...”

Kenny flew at him again; punching him so hard his fist throbbed with the pain almost on impact as Michael reeled back, slamming up against the wall, his hand going straight to his jaw.

“Don’t you fucking dare stand there and make excuses for anything that you did because the second you touched her - the second you touched her when she wanted you to stop, that was the second you ceased to exist as a fucking person to her and she has every right to feel that way.
 
Every fucking right, and believe me, if it wasn’t for Ethan I would kill you.
 
I’d fucking kill you!”

“You don’t talk about my son, do you hear me?
 
You don’t even go there.”
 
Michael steadied himself, still holding his hand to his jaw.

“If it was up to me you’d have nothing to do with him, you don’t deserve him – and you
never
deserved
India
.”

Any mention of his son, especially from the mouth of the man who could have been his father, angered Michael more than anything and he came at Kenny just as fast as
he’d
attacked
him
, catching him right on the side of his face, sending Kenny falling to the floor.

“I may have hurt
India
, and for that I am truly sorry, believe what you like but I am so, so sorry for what I did to her.
 
Not a day goes by when I don’t hate myself for what I did.
 
But I would never,
ever
hurt my son.
 
Do you hear me?
 
I would never hurt Ethan.
 
And the fact that
India
has let me be a part of his life after what ... after what happened, well, that’s something I’ll be forever grateful for.”

Kenny stood up, the anger that was still boiling up inside him showed no signs of subsiding as he stared at Michael.
 
“She should have cut you out of her life completely.
 
She should have made sure you had no reason to be a part of it anymore. Ethan would never have known, he was so tiny when you split up ...”

Michael couldn’t take that, he couldn’t take anyone suggesting he never saw his own child and once again he lunged at Kenny, punching him hard, sending him reeling backwards onto the stairs.

“My son is the most important person in my world; he’s all I have left of that life, Kenny.
 
And I may have been stupid enough to have thrown that life away but I didn’t throw Ethan away, and I am doing everything in my power to make sure he stays the happy and settled little boy that he is.
 
So you quit with trying to ruin all that because it won’t happen.
 
He stays out of this and he always will.
 
What happened between me and
India
, it had nothing to do with him.
 
Nothing!”

Kenny pulled himself up, rubbing his face where Michael had hit him.
 
“I don’t want to do anything to hurt Ethan.”

“Then forget trying to push me out of his life.
 
I love that kid, he’s my whole world.”
 
Michael walked backwards, away from Kenny.
 
He’d had enough of the fighting, he didn’t want this anymore.
 
“And despite what you may think, I still love his mom.
 
I love her like you wouldn’t believe.”

Kenny looked at him.
 
“You stay out of her life, do you hear me?
 
Just keep away from her.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

“No.
 
She doesn’t.”

“She wouldn’t be happy if she
did
know.
 
Would she?”
 
Michael narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kenny.