No More Running (12 page)

Garret asked me about my early years, but he had forgotten that Chuck had been a part of most of that.  He apologized, but I told him not to worry about it.

“I mean those were our good years; he wasn’t always so cruel and abusive.  We had quite a few good years, as friends and then as lovers, before it all went to shit.”  I said honestly.

When I said that, they both looked like they were holding back a laugh.  “What?”  I asked.

“Cussing just doesn’t sound right coming from you.  It’s like…”  Doc said, searching for the right words.

“Like a kid saying it just to sound grown up.”  Garret finished for him, chuckling.

“Yeah, that.”  Doc agreed.

I stuck my tongue out at Garret.  I knew that I was being childish doing that, but he had just basically called me that anyway.

“Can we stop at the Davis’ shop in the morning?  I haven’t seen them in a while and kind of miss them.”  I asked Garret.

“Sure sounds great.  I love Patsy’s banana nut muffins.”  He said.

“You do know that it’s Thomas that does most of the baking, don’t you?”

“I never knew that.  Either way, I have yet to come across anything there I didn’t like.”  He smacked his lips as if he could taste it right then.

I went up to my room and took a nap after the muffins came out of the oven, and the guys went back to playing in the game room.  When I woke, it was six in the evening, and I knew I needed to work on dinner.  Passing the game room, I heard talking.  I was going to go in until I heard what was being said.

Chapter 14

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”  I heard Garret saying.  “It would have saved you a lot of grief.  Dina said something about it when she finally told us the whole story, but I didn’t put two and two together.”

“I didn’t know you were part of it either.”  Doc answered calmly.  “You know everyone stays anonymous unless they choose otherwise.  You’re not in the database either.”

“Well Margie is big in it.  Her mom was abused the whole time she grew up, so when she found out about the organization, she made it her life.  When she saw Dina on the bus, she said she knew the look, and knew she was running, but didn’t know from what.  She didn’t get ‘criminal vibes’ off of her, so she took her in.”  Garret chuckled a little.  “Di put up a fight, though.  She doesn’t do charity.”

By this point I was standing on the doorway, but they hadn’t noticed me.  What organization were they talking about?  Thinking over what I had heard from their conversation, I guessed it was the one Doc told me he was a part of that helped me run from Chuck. 

If Garret was a part of that, did that mean the only reason for him to have anything to do with me was because he felt it his job? I couldn’t believe that, though.  The way he treated me and acted around me wasn’t pity.  The look on his face when I would catch him looking at me wasn’t as if he felt sorry for me.  But that thought kept running through my head, ‘what if’.

“I know.  She would call me when she was hurt, but no more than that.  I had been afraid in the hospital that she wouldn’t accept my help, but I guess she finally listened and realized she would not survive the abuse much longer.  He was getting worse and worse.”

“Seeing this, I don’t know how she survived what she did.”

I’d had enough.  I couldn’t believe that Garret was a part of whatever it was that helped women like me.  I couldn’t help but feel that everything that he’d done and said was out of pity.  Even as I tried to talk myself out of that notion, the doubts flooded my mind.  How was I supposed to know for sure?

I turned and quickly headed back to my room, but I must have done something to draw attention to myself as I left because I heard Garret call after me.  I kept going, jogging at this point so I wouldn’t have to face him.  Tears were streaming down my cheek.  I felt betrayed; like I really didn’t know him.  Was I doomed not to be able to trust anyone again?  I trusted Doc.  He was the only one who had never done me wrong. 

As I got to the door, Garret caught up with me and grabbed my wrist lightly, turning me to face him, but I wouldn’t look in his face.  I couldn’t.  I knew I would crumble if I did.  I had let him in; fallen for him, and I obviously didn’t even know him.

“You obviously heard us in there; please let me explain.”  He pleaded.

“No, I just need to be alone right now.”  I pulled my wrist from his grasp and turned to go into my room.

“I’m not going to let you do that without listening to me.”  He said desperately.  “You’ll just talk yourself into believing some crazy shit. I know you.”

“Yeah, you know me.  You know all about me, but I evidently don’t know you.”  I told him, my voice breaking.  “I truly thought I did.  I thought you were a good guy, but good guys don’t keep things from people if that person means anything to him.  I don’t need your pity Garret, and I sure as hell don’t want it.”

I stepped into the room and slammed the door in his face; locking it to keep him out.  I knew in the back of my mind that I was overreacting, but I just couldn’t help it.  I was trying so hard to be the person I was a long time ago when I was a strong willed, opinionated person, but I just felt like every time I tried to be that person, someone would just knock me down. 

I hadn’t always been the victim.  When I was growing up and in school, I always stood up for myself and never took crap off anyone.  I didn’t take crap off of people, and I
hated
liars.  It had been a saying in my home from my first memory that ‘God hears you when you lie’ so I grew up taking responsibility for my actions and trying my best to never do anything that I would need to lie about.

That had been one of the things Chuck would tease me about; being a ‘goodie two shoes’, but I would have rather made my mother proud than disappoint her.  I didn’t start lying until Chuck started hitting on me.  Then I had to lie and make up excuses.  I hated myself and was embarrassed about the woman I had turned out to be, which was the complete opposite of my true personality.  I had never understood how a woman would stay with a man that abused her
until I lived it myself.

I would not go back to that pathetic girl I was.  I would not let someone else walk all over me, lie to me, and treat me as Chuck had again.  I laid in my bed just thinking about everything, and not really paying attention to the time.  I just let myself calm down and then suffered the
embarrassment of my overreaction.  Garret was nowhere near the bastard that Chuck had turned out to be.  I thought back to the part where he said that he hadn’t put the two together when I told him about Doc helping me escape.  I didn’t even know the name of the organization that helped me, so I certainly never mentioned it to him.

I was so caught up in my musings that I didn’t even hear the lock being turned or anyone entering, until Doc came up to the bed with a tray of food and two drinks.

“Come on, Diana, you have to eat.”  He said softly.

I jumped when I first heard him, and scared him to where he almost dropped the tray he carried.  “Sorry,” I said.  “I just lost track of time.”

“I figured as much.”

“Come on, we’ll eat in the other room.”  I got up and walked toward the sitting room.  “Let me just freshen up.”  I said, and veered into the bathroom.  “How did you get in?”

“Stefan came home and Garret’s been moaning on his shoulder for a while, so he offered the key.  I requested that they let me come in and talk to you first; see how you were doing.”  He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. 

I knew he probably thought I had acted like a six year old, but there was nothing else I could do about it than apologize.  I used the toilet, and then washed my hands and face before heading
back out to Doc.

“I am so sorry that I acted like that.”  I said as I took a seat and picked up a Chinese takeout box full of fried rice.

“You know that you didn’t hear the whole conversation don’t you?”

“I think I heard most of it.  I know I over reacted, but it was just a shock to find out he was a part of your organization.  What’s the name?”  I asked as I took a bite, not really hungry, but knowing I needed to eat.

“G.R.A.B.B.”  He answered with a mouthful of shrimp lo mein.  I made a face because it was nasty looking, but he must’ve thought it was because of the initials he’d given.  “I know it’s kind of corny, but it stands for Getting Rapists and Abusers Behind Bars.  We provide shelter for the less severe cases and provide the legal and investigative services to help prosecute the abusers.  We are not a recognized group, but all of us have either been in those situations or have lost someone to situations like that.”

“I heard Garret say why he and Mrs. Chambers got involved, but what about you?  I never really asked details.”  I said, curiosity getting the better of me.  “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, it’s okay.  My older sister was a dancer in Vegas.  She did pretty well for herself on stage and ended up being a headliner.  Well several of the hotels were after her to come to them and sign a contract, so she hired a manager.  He helped her get a huge deal; they started dating, and married all within a couple of months.  Tina, that was her name, was head over heels for him.  The whole family, though we didn’t agree at first because of the short courtship, went to the wedding and supported her on her big day.”  He took a deep breath and let it out.  “I saw little things that made me question how good he was for her, but he had charmed everyone else and they all loved him.  No one would listen to my protests.  He had to be with her at all times.  He chose what she would wear, what she ate or drank; he just had to be with her the whole time and control everything she did.  I tried to talk to her about it, but she always defended him, so I ended up leaving it alone.  About six months after they got married, we stopped hearing from her, so I went to check on her.  She was bruised when I saw her, but said it was from the rehearsals, that all dancers fell and stayed bruised.  Travis didn’t know that I was there, and when he got home, he started beating her because he thought she had called me.  I came out and put a stop to it, fighting him myself.  I was able to knock him out pretty easily since he was drunk, but when I went to check on Tina and get her help, she wasn’t moving.  When he had slammed her against a wall during their fight, it was hard enough to cause bleeding in her brain, and she died as a result.”

I was speechless.  I didn’t know how to comfort him.  I had been through stuff like that, so I knew sorry didn’t help.  The part that really broke my heart is that I could tell he blamed himself.  “You know that it is not your fault, right?”  I asked as I hugged him to me.

“Yeah, I’ve heard the spiel.  I’ve even given it a few times, but there’s always the thought in the back of my mind.  What if I had stopped the wedding, or gone to check on her sooner?  Why didn’t I make her leave when I first saw the bruises that day?”

“You know better than that.  She wasn’t ready to admit there was a problem, or maybe he was holding something over her head, but she wouldn’t have taken the help.”  I told him softly.  “I didn’t until it was almost too late.  Hell, it
was
too late for my mom.  There was just nothing you could have done.”

He sat up from me, wiping moisture from his eyes so it wouldn’t be able to fall.  “Look at me; and here I was supposed to be making you feel better, but end up crying on your shoulder.”

“That’s alright, Doc.  I’m here for you, just as you are for me.  I’m okay now anyway.”

He smiled and nodded, picking his food back up to finish eating.

“I’m glad to hear that.”  We looked over to the door to see Garret standing there with his hands in his pockets.  “Can I talk to you?”  He asked.

When Doc faced me again, he had a scowl on his face.  He must not have thought I was ready to talk to Garret yet.

“It’s alright.”  I told him.

His look softened a little, but I could tell he still didn’t want to leave me with him yet, just in case.  He gathered the tray, but left me my drink.  “Call me if you need me.”  He said and kissed my cheek before walking out with the tray in hand.

I looked back to Garret and could tell he regretted what had happened.  The look on his face; I knew I would never be able to stay angry at him.  I got up, went over to him, pulling him into the room, and shut and locked the door.

Chapter 15

I was having the most wonderful dream.  I knew it was a dream because my mother was there with me.  Garret and Mrs. Chambers were there also.  We had all had a nice dinner and were talking, but I really didn’t notice what was being said.  I was just enjoying the family atmosphere that had been absent from my life for some time.

Garret was next to me on the couch of Mrs. Chambers’ living room.  He turned and smiled at me as he slid off the couch and onto one knee.  I covered my mouth in shock and looked at my mother to confirm it was really happening.  She was crying, holding hands with Mrs. Chambers, so I knew he was for real.

He opened a royal blue velvet box to show a huge diamond ring surrounded by emeralds.  “Will you do the honor of being my wife?”

I couldn’t speak for the lump in my throat, so I nodded; throwing my arms around his neck, probably squeezing the life out of him.

The next thing I know we are on the beach in front of a pastor putting the rings on each other’s finger. 

The next minute we were in a cottage on the beach and I was at the French doors watching the sunset on the ocean as the waves rolled onto the sand when Garret came up behind me.  He started kissing the back of my neck as he undressed me slowly.  When I was completely naked I could feel the he was in a similar state of undress behind me.  I could feel his erection digging into the small of my back. 

Garret slowly walked us backward until we were on the bed in the same position, him spooning me from behind. His hands ran over my body, one stopping to knead and massage my breast, rolling the nipple in between his fingers.  He was sucking on the skin right beneath my ear.  I knew he was leaving his mark on me, and I could bring myself to feel anything but the arousal he was igniting in my blood, making it pump faster and hotter.  His other hand roamed down to my mound, sliding his fingers into the slit and over my clit on their way to my core where he started a rhythm of in and out strokes, still stimulating my clit at the same time.  The fire inside me was building and getting more intense.  I felt the flames about to consume me, and finally I exploded as I called out his name.