Nobilissima (14 page)

“Yes.”

I turned back to face him. “Does that mean you are to be king of the Goths now?”

He wiped his face with his hand, leaving it smeared with mud. “Alaric named me, but Sigeric will contend it.”
 

“The position is yours by right, if the king chose you,” I said.
 

“Yes, and I will defend Alaric’s decision with my sword if I need to,” said Ataulf. “But we must first hope for a night of repose and prayer.”

Without a backward glance, he strode from the hall. I stared at the palms of my hands. I had touched him, felt the warmth of his skin against mine. And I had liked the feeling. But he was a barbarian and a murderer. On shaking legs, I found my way back to my room.

Aurelia jumped up when she saw me. “You’re so pale,” she exclaimed. “Come and sit down. What has happened?”

I just shook my head. “It is grief, that’s all. I’ll be fine if I can sleep for a while.”

Chapter 14

It was the following evening, with the sun starting its descent, when the rumble of hooves shook the villa. Any arrival was a welcome respite from the boredom, so Aurelia and I hurried to the entry to see who was there. The sight was enough to freeze my blood. Sigeric sat on a great, black horse, surrounded by a dozen soldiers. He bellowed Ataulf’s name several times, and turned to talk with with his men. Shrinking back out of sight behind a column, I listened to him shout for Ataulf again.

Ataulf emerged from his room and marched across the atrium towards the entry doors. To my surprise, he was dressed in his Roman uniform, and wearing his sword as though he had been waiting for a visitor. He stopped ten paces from where Sigeric waited, and watched while Sigeric jumped down from his horse. Sigeric’s men also dismounted and formed a semicircle behind him. They looked more like a gang of thugs and brigands than soldiers. Their faces were menacing and they stood with their feet apart, hands resting on the hilts of their swords. Like a pack of wolves, I thought.

“I challenge you,” shouted Sigeric. “I denounce the word of Alaric and present myself as the true king of the Goths.”

“Alaric chose me and I am king,” said Ataulf, keeping his voice low in contrast to the shrieks of his aggressor.

“You are not fit to be king, any more than he was,” sneered Sigeric. “I can do more for the Goth people than you two ever could. And my men will help me to take the crown because they have faith in my leadership.”

Incensed, I walked out from behind the pillar and stood next to Ataulf. “You should not take the final words of your king in vain, Sigeric,” I said. “What you are doing will divide the Goths, not unite them, and that will lead to disaster for your nation.”

“You’re just a woman. You know nothing of leadership,” Sigeric sneered. “Now step aside and let Ataulf speak. Or perhaps he prefers to have a woman speak on his behalf.”

He laughed and his men snickered in unison. They shifted on their feet and tapped their swords, but grew still when a score of Ataulf’s men quietly appeared and took up their places behind him.

“I beg you to repeat your challenge, so my men can hear it,” said Ataulf.

Sigeric looked at the force arrayed before him. There was no doubt that he was outnumbered.
 

“You know what I think of you,” he snarled. Several of Ataulf’s men unsheathed their swords. I held my breath, unable to move out of the way, caught between the two groups of soldiers.

“I invited you to repeat your challenge,” said Ataulf again.

Sigeric laughed. “Not today, Ataulf. But you’d better make some progress quickly. We can’t sit here scratching our behinds while autumn comes and our food runs out. If you’re not smarter than your brother-in-law, I’ll take that crown from your head, and maybe take your head with it. And then maybe I’ll just take you, your Nobleness. You’re pretty enough for a bit of fun.”

He jerked his head towards his men and they mounted their horses, waited for him to take the lead and rode away towards the camp.

“Ataulf,” I began, but he turned away.

“I can fight my own battles, thank you, Nobilissima,” he said, already striding back towards his rooms. “It’s stupid to bait Sigeric. He’s dangerous enough already.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I said, hurrying to keep up with him. “Please can I talk to you? You can see that we are just in the way here. Will you let us go back to Rome? I don’t know what your plans are now… now that Alaric is dead. But things have changed. There’s no guarantee that the Emperor will agree to negotiate with you.”

Ataulf stopped in mid-stride. “I have nothing to tell you yet, Nobilissima. But neither do I intend to let you go. You may be of some use to me still. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a great deal to do.”

I watched him until he disappeared out of sight and Aurelia took my arm and led me back to the room.

While Taiga continued to recover slowly, we stayed at the villa. The troops rode out every day to collect supplies wherever they could and Ataulf continued to spend hours in consultations with his men. One evening, he asked me to join him.

“Nobilissima, I want to share my plans with you. I trust your judgment and hope you will advise me,” he said, as he poured wine into two cups and gave me one. I hid my surprise at his tone and his openness and told him I would be happy to help if I could.

As I drank, I looked him over the rim of my cup. In his Roman robes, he had the look of a patrician. His speech was surprisingly elegant and I knew that he had read many of the great books of the Roman philosophers and poets, which he loved to quote. Like his brother-in-law, he had also spent many years in the service of the Roman army.

“Is there any news from Ravenna?” I asked.

He shook his head.
 
“Messengers come and go but Honorius commits to nothing.” He hesitated and then said, “I fear he has not paid your ransom and I doubt he will.”

“I have accustomed myself to that thought, and don’t expect his assistance,” I said. “I think instead of other ways to free myself from this prison. Perhaps our objectives might be the same and we can help each other?”

Ataulf stood and walked to the window. The shadows were lengthening across the fields and the sun was haloed in crimson.

He spoke very quietly and I had to strain to hear his voice.

“When this all started, I hated Rome and only wanted to obliterate her. I joined Alaric so that I could kill Romans. Rome deserved to perish, corrupt and flawed as she has become. It was an easy goal to dismantle the old Empire and build a new one, a great Gothic kingdom that will be as powerful and famous as the Roman one that preceded it.”

“How so easy?” I said, stung into anger at his presumption. “You haven’t succeeded very much yet in taking it apart.”

“We hardly have to,” retorted Ataulf. “Your Empire was crumbling around you long before we came here.”
 

I shook my head, but he waved a hand at the fields outside. “This farm survived because a wealthy nobleman retired here from Rome. Most of the country is not so blessed. Think of the destitution we rode through on the way here. Thin crops, broken fences. The Peninsula was once a place where even the peasants could live well, by laboring on their own land and producing the food and wine they needed to feed themselves and their families. The great poets spoke of the rural life with admiration. But then your noble families of Rome became greedy and bought these vast estates and ran them with slaves. All the produce was for the rich in Rome, leaving the peasants under-nourished and the land stripped of its goodness. The poor people in the cities did nothing to feed themselves, relying instead on the munificence of the state to give them bread every day. They ate the bread and watched the entertainments and gave up thinking about work.”

"That’s a generalization,” I interrupted. “Many of the merchant class worked hard to make their lives better.”

“Yes, I agree, but the culture of common good has dissipated. It’s everyone for himself. Recruitment into the Army has fallen, so Rome must rely on the tribal foederati to fight its battles. Romans have become lazy and complacent.”

I stood up and paced along the room, angry at his criticism of my beloved Empire.

“And now you are king, is that still your objective?” I asked. “Will you continue to use violence to raze the Empire to its foundations, so that you can build a new one?”

“It’s more complicated than that,” he said. “To the Goths, Rome has everything we do not, from running water to legal institutions and a functioning army. We have none of that structure or those traditions. Most of us want to be Roman but the Emperor is refusing us that option. You, in your position, can’t imagine what it is like to be barred from your dream. It’s like being a small child looking in through the window of a room where a table is loaded with delicacies and sweetmeats. The children in the room, instead of enjoying what they have, are fighting over it, throwing food to the ground and refusing to share it with anyone else. Is it any wonder that we are angry at Rome? We see its goodness being wasted and ignored. We must take what we can for ourselves.”

I looked at him for a long time, thinking of what he said.

“What would you do, Placidia?” he said, addressing me by name for the first time.

“Seriously?” I asked, thinking he was mocking me.

“Yes. If you had this army at your disposal and the means to fight the government, would you? Wouldn’t you try to build something new and better?”

“But why do it by first destroying what already exists?” I asked. “I admit the foundation is damaged and needs repairing. But the Goth nation has no history of governing, laws, or civic responsibility. You can learn from Rome and from what she has built. Do not fight with Rome, but join her and then you can build something new, perhaps something that will live forever.”

To my surprise, he did not argue with me, but held out his hand to me.

“You’re an intelligent and courageous woman. And you’re beautiful, too. Together, we could achieve great things.”

I turned away, my cheeks flaming.

“You forget that I’m still a hostage and I’m sure you would welcome the payment of my ransom, which I gather is very sizeable,” I said.

“I could make you my queen instead of my hostage,” he urged, still holding my hand tightly.

“No,” I said and pulled my hand away.

Without a word, he left the room. I was angry and confused. I wished I could start again, and say things differently. To my dismay, I realized how much I admired him. But how could he imagine a future for us as man and wife? I was a member of the imperial family and a hostage. He was an enemy who had brought destruction and suffering to the people of Rome, my own people. It was ridiculous that we were even friends.

Still flushed and bemused, I went to find Aurelia, and called for pens and parchment.

“What are you doing?” she asked curiously.

“I am going to write to Honorius. It is time to get away from here. He must pay the ransom and then I can return to Ravenna and resume my life.”

Aurelia looked shocked. “Are you sure you want to leave? You wouldn’t like Ravenna. With Honorius and those crooks and hangers-on who whisper in his ear.”

“It’s true,” I sighed. “But I don’t belong here and I believe that Ataulf intends to continue fighting against Rome. With my knowledge of him and his army, I could be of help to the State in overcoming the Goths. Meanwhile, almost all of the other hostages have been released, their ransoms paid or forgiven. Can’t you see how pathetic it must look that my brother doesn’t want me back? And you want to go back to Marcus,” I reminded her. “My freedom from the Goths is vital for my future and yours.”

Aurelia nodded silently and sat with me while I wrote the letter to Ravenna. Even as the messenger took it from me, I felt certain that I wouldn’t receive a favorable response. Clearly, the advisors to my brother preferred having me out of the way and he wouldn’t force the issue of my ransom payment.

The days dragged and no answer came. Ataulf contrived to avoid me completely. The servants told us that he was very busy with his council and that many messages were being sent to Rome and Ravenna. I was torn between wanting to be involved and dreading going near him again. His presumption that I would even consider becoming his wife made me angry whenever I thought of it. On the other hand, he had asked for my advice and I longed to give it.

Instead, I walked in the gardens that were already growing wild from neglect, my cloak wrapped tight against the grey mist. In this colorless world, I felt as thought I had fallen into a chasm between two cliffs. I was a princess with no palace and a hostage with no hope of ransom. My life in Rome was a dim memory. I tried to recall the feelings of excitement and urgency, the dinners and meetings with the senators and the clergy, the charitable works, the constant flow of news, and the planning. Then, I felt that I could make a difference, that my life had a point. Now, I was inert, useless to anyone.

As I toed the soil under a wilting shrub, I began to think of escape. I could return to Rome even without my brother’s assistance, and resume my life and duties there. It was the only way, too, to reunite Aurelia and Marcus, who deserved to be together. Aurelia’s stubbornness would be my incentive to leave. Immediately, my heart began to beat a little faster. It was time.