Not Just Another Romance Novel (29 page)

He finally looked over at me, and I kept talking. I saw the fear in his eyes slowly starting to dissipate. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even in moments when I should’ve been focusing on other things, you were on my mind.”

Hope blossomed in his eyes in a beautiful transformation. It wrecked a little piece of my soul, a piece that would forever belong to Scott Redland.

“And then you told me how you felt, and I finally understood why you had to back away. It hurt to think about losing our friendship. It hurt to think about losing
you
.” I took a deep breath, and then I reached over for his hand. I laced my fingers through his, and he stared down at our twined hands. “When I sat at my parents’ house waiting for the solution to hit me, it didn’t. I was confused and unsure. I had feelings for two men, and I was sure there was no right answer.”

His eyes continued to watch our hands, and then he pulled his away from mine.

I wasn’t getting my point across the right way. I reached for him again.

“Scott, I broke up with Dax today.”

His eyes shot over to mine. “You what?” he whispered.

I nodded. “You heard right.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m in love with somebody else.” I said it simply, but it was a much more complicated statement than my tone conveyed.

A small smile tipped his lips, and it was about the most damn adorable thing I’d ever seen in my life.

“You…you are?”

I nodded as my lips tipped up to match his. “I am. It’s a long story, but the only part of it that really matters is the end.”

“You’re in love with somebody else?”

I nodded again, my smile widening.

Scott stood, pulling me up with him. He leaned down toward me, and I automatically laced my arms around his torso as he wrapped his arms around me. As much as I wondered whether it would feel weird to be with Scott in this way, in a way so different for us and our friendship, it didn’t.

His nose nuzzled the skin of my neck, and I let out a soft sigh.

“Who?” he asked, his breath warm near my ear.

“You,” I whispered back. “I don’t
think
I have feelings for you. I’m positive I do.”

A soft moan escaped his lips as it rumbled against my neck. He kissed the sensitive skin of my neck, and then his lips trailed across my skin to my lips.

When his mouth met mine, the entire world melted away. His lips moved over mine with firm grace, sweet tenderness, and controlled demand.

While our conversation had been tentative and full of the unknown, our kiss was the opposite. It was full of longing and passion. It was two people who had the kind of forever love they’d denied themselves for far too long.

His lips parted on a soft sigh as his tongue swept around mine. My entire body grew weak at the sensation, and I wasn’t sure if I was holding him because I wanted to or if I was holding him because I’d fall if I let go.

But even if I let go, he’d never let me fall. Scott had never let me down, and a relationship with him—a future with him—would be the same way.

I pulled my mouth away from his, panting. I needed a moment to catch my breath, to still the dizzying sensation Scott had caused. To regain my footing. Maybe to take a sip of water and sit down for a second.

“Jeez, Scott.” Neither one of us let go of the other. “If I’d have known you could kiss like that, this decision would’ve been a lot easier.”

He chuckled down at me, and then he leaned back down to my ear and whispered softly. “Wait until you see what else I can do with my tongue.”

I blushed furiously. I’d never heard him talk like that before, but if his kiss left me panting, I had no doubt he had mad skills in other extracurricular events.

He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “I’ve seen you turn red thousands of times, but I’ve never been the one to make you blush.”

“Mission accomplished. Can I get a glass of water?”

He laughed, and it was a sweet and carefree laugh—one I hadn’t heard in far too long.

He let go of me and padded over to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. I sat back down on the couch, needing a quick moment to regroup my thoughts. I gulped down half the bottle in about five seconds after he handed it to me.

“I need to apologize to you.” He stood in front of me, staring down lovingly.

“For what?”

“It wasn’t fair of me to tell you I was in love with you the way I did. It was never how I imagined it happening. I wanted to tell you a hundred different times, but I was too scared to lose your friendship. When you started dating all these men, I couldn’t pretend like I was okay with it. That exploded out at you, and I didn’t mean for it to.”

I shook my head as if to dismiss his apology. He had nothing to apologize for. If anything, it was me who had caused the two of us to waste so much time. “When I saw you at the diner, I thought you were with that girl.”

“My sister?”

“I saw you at the airport today saying goodbye. I didn’t know she was your sister.”

“You saw me at the airport?”

I nodded. “I just figured out how I felt last night. I was so excited to come home and tell you, and then I saw you with some girl at the airport and you seemed so happy and I was certain you’d already moved on.”

“But you broke it off with the rock star anyway?” His voice was incredulous.

“It didn’t matter if you’d moved on. I couldn’t stay with him when I knew my feelings were stronger for you.”

“What made you realize?”

I chuckled, and I was sure I turned red again. “You’re going to make fun of me.”

“I won’t.” He made a cross over his heart. “How could I? Whatever it was brought you to me.”

“I was hypnotized last night. And when I was dead asleep, my subconscious admitted the man I was in love with was you.”

“Seriously?”

I giggled. “I bought the DVD.”

I glanced at the clock across the room. We had an hour before Austin would be home.

But my apartment was empty—and it would be all night.

I stood and stalked toward the man who I loved. “Hey, you want to come to my place and we can watch it?”

He grinned. “Are you trying to get the home court advantage?”

“You know, Mr. Redland, I don’t have a roommate.” I smiled a wicked little smile, and he chuckled.

“You had me at DVD.”

I laughed, and the two of us took a nice, leisurely walk to my apartment. Hand-in-hand.

I had to admit, part of me was worried this part would get weird. We’d been friends for so long, and now we were crossing this line we’d never be able to uncross.

But I didn’t want to uncross it.

Sex had always been a pretty serious act for me. But I’d never been best friends and so head over heels in love with someone the first time I’d slept with him. I hadn’t had a ton of sexual partners, but love had always seemed to come later for me. Attraction had come first. Excitement. Need and passion.

I had all of those things with Scott, but I also had these deeply rooted feelings on top of a beautiful friendship. And so when his lips crashed down to mine as soon as I locked the door behind us, causing me to stumble on my own carpet, we both giggled. The tearing of the clothes commenced, and my shirt got stuck behind my head for a second. We both chuckled as I tossed my shirt to the floor, and then he kissed me some more.

I loved that even though sex had this serious stigma associated with it, the two of us could laugh together. We’d always had fun together, and obviously that lightheartedness translated to every part of our relationship.

Scott stepped back, away from my mouth. He took off his shirt, and in doing so he completely took my breath away.

I’d never seen him without a shirt. It had been only recently I’d even thought about what he might have kept hidden under his clothes. For the majority of our friendship, I’d never thought twice about it.

And it was a real shame. A complete disservice to myself.

Because he was absolutely incredible. He was perfect.

His body was athletic and hard. I stared at the thick cuts of muscle along his abdomen. I counted the muscles. There were more than six. And then my eyes trailed down to his hips. Dear Lord, those hips. My mouth watered as I stared at the cut V-shape of muscle pointing straight down to the Promised Land.

My eyes flicked down a few inches and then widened at the bulge I spotted.

This was going to be one hell of a good night. One hell of an amazing future.

“Uhhhh…” I said, my voice a hoarse grunt. I lost my capability of forming words as I gazed at the perfect body on the amazing man before me.

I sincerely hoped I wasn’t drooling.

I finally glanced up at his eyes, and he stood in my entryway staring at me.

I looked down to see what, exactly, he was staring at.

I was wearing a black lace bra, one with those really sexy strappy cutouts. My bra was paired with jeans.

Scott readjusted the huge bulge in his pants, and then his eyes flicked up to mine. “I’ve pictured this moment ten thousand different ways.” His voice was husky.

“And?”

He took a step toward me, lacing his arms around my torso. I wrapped my arms around him, my fingers trailing up the warm and smooth skin of his back. I breathed him in, and he smelled like home.

He smiled down at me, his eyes heated and full of adoration. “And you’re perfect. Even more perfect than in my imagination.”

His words melted my heart and turned my soul to jelly. I was putty in his hands, and I knew I would be. Always.

I tipped my head up and he leaned down to kiss me. His tongue caressed mine with devotion and passion. I could feel his love for me as the emotions we’d both bottled for far too long exploded into our embrace.

He started backing me up on a journey down the hallway toward my bedroom. I thought about jumping on him and allowing him to carry me to my bedroom, but then I thought of my sprained ankle and realized what a horrible idea it was.

Our mouths were attached as we stumbled down the hallway all the way to my bed, giggling and laughing but never for even a second letting go of each other.

When we arrived at the foot of my bed, Scott’s mouth finally broke from mine. He leaned his forehead against mine, eyes closed, and he took a shaky breath as he held me in his arms.

“I’ve loved you for a long time, but I don’t want to rush you. Are you sure you want to do this?”

I pulled back from him to look at him. His eyes were filled with trepidation, and it hurt to see how scared he was. “I’m sure,” I said, easing his fears with my words. “I love you, Scott. I’m pretty sure I’ve always loved you.”

The trepidation left as his eyes flicked down to my breasts again. A really sexy and wicked smile spread across his face, and then he reached for my bra strap, unhooked it, and helped me out of it. I grinned back when his eyes fell upon my naked breasts.

He helped me out of my jeans and panties, and I helped him out of his jeans and boxers.

And then we stood before each other naked, both of us taking a second to drink in what stood before us. Every part of his body was perfect, and by the look in his eyes, he thought I was, too.

And then he pounced. He grabbed me in his arms and tossed me onto the bed, and I landed with a giggle. He crawled up so his naked body hovered over mine. He grinned down at me, and I smiled back up at him.

His head lowered to kiss me, and then his lips dragged down my neck to my breasts while his hands worked my body over. His fingers were strong and insistent but somehow filled with unconditional reverence at the same time. His lips dropped below my chest to my stomach while his hands continued to feel every inch of my skin. He kissed his way back up to my mouth, swallowing my moans when his finger dipped inside of me.

I arched into him, bucking my hips involuntarily toward his body, wanting more of him, wanting him everywhere, wanting him covering me with every part of him.

My body tightened in preparation for release, and he pulled his hand away from me as he continued to kiss me.

And then, finally, he slipped inside of me.

My body immediately pulled him in like he was meant to be there. He pulled back and thrust forward. My body was already starting to buckle, and he’d just gotten inside. I wanted it to last forever, and as I opened my eyes to see his face, I knew that was what he wanted, too.

Our connection was filled with love and passion from the way his eyes met mine to the way his lips moved over mine to the way his hips ground against mine.

I’d never been so emotionally connected to another person before, and that connection made sex with Scott by far the most intense, fiery, and romantic experience of my life.

The emotional connection translated perfectly to the sexual connection as we flew simultaneously into the most powerful explosion I’d ever experienced in my life.

Scott rolled off of me, laying back on his pillow. His hand found my leg, and we lay together panting and recovering in my bed seconds after we’d pushed each other into the most pleasurable moments of our lives.