Not Looking for Love: Episode 7 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) (2 page)

"No, it's after all you've done to me. And Gail," I bark, all fear turning to black anger and hate.

"Still not over her?" he says, swaying a little like the wind's moving him. "Come on, it's been like six months."

"Fuck you, Mike."

"I did do a lot for you. I got you this fine job, and I made sure no one bothered you in prison," he says. "All I ask for is a little gratitude. But do I get it? Hell, no. Not from perfect little know-it-all Scott."

"How'd you keep me safe in prison?" I bark. This I gotta hear.

"I made sure Boris was your cellmate," he says. "No one messed with you after that. That man is respected in his community."

Boris was a grumpy old bastard, who made me play countless games of chess with him in dead fucking silence. Not exactly the perfect cellmate, but the others did tread lightly around him. And he only became my cellmate after the first one got stabbed in the neck over a juice box.

"Wait…what the fuck are you saying? You got a guy killed so Boris could room with me?" It sounded dumb when I said it, and it's scary now that it's hanging out there in the air.

"I asked, and Vlado made it happen," Mike says. "So you see, you do owe me."

I have no idea what to say. If it's true it's freaky, if it's not, it's worse.
 

"I've been looking out for you all this time," Mike goes on. "And you've just been throwing it all back in my face. Now, does that seem right to you?"

"I just wanted to fucking walk away, Mike," I say. "Why can't you just let me do that?"

The wind even picks up as I say it, the perfect backdrop to this final plea I'm making.
 

"I might have," he says. "But you went over my head straight to Vlado, didn't you? With your perfect charm and excellent fucking observation skills."

"I was just trying to stay out of prison," I say, hating the pitiful undertones in my voice. And way in the back of my brain I know Mike's just fucking with me some more right now, but the hope is stronger. "I don't want anything to do with any of this."

"Too late for that, little brother," Mike says and turns. "We're in this together now."

He walks away and it takes all the fucking strength I have left not to run after him, make him stop, plead some more. Because a voice is screaming inside my head now, saying Mike knows about Gail and me, and that's what brought this conversation on. I can't believe I was dumb enough to let Greg drive here, since now I can't even get back to the city right away.

I tell Greg I have to sleep, since he wants to come over, then spend the next hour or more pacing in front of the windows clutching my phone and debating whether to call Gail back. But I'm not really deciding, just postponing. It's a forgone conclusion that I will call her. There's very little chance that we'll ever make it apart. As for together…that's not looking very promising either.
 

Together…

Gail has no idea what that means. I don't know if I can keep her safe. Hell, I don't know if bodyguards can. I have no idea how far Mike will take this shit, what he's ultimately willing to risk.
 

What I do know is that Gail can't just stay in that hotel on her own. If Mike finds her, he'll think it's odd.

I don't remember pressing call, but all my anxiety just whooshes away as soon as she picks up.
 

"Hey," I manage.

"Are you coming over now?" she asks, a little out of breath, like she'd been holding it.
 

"Yeah," I say, already looking for something to wear. Like we're going on a date, and it’s not actually me going to see a girl who could wind up dead, because I don't know how to let her go. Because I can't let her go.

In the end, after I regain some sense, I change into my sweats and walk down to the gym, enter through the front door then slip out the side and take a cab to her hotel. As though these half-assed attempts at sneaking around could actually fool anyone following me. Which I don't think they are. I hope Mike doesn't have anyone following me.
 

But if he does, then at least I'll be with Gail when they come, or he comes. Then we can die together, like Romeo and Juliet. Tragedy… the mere thought sends a sickening jolt through my stomach, makes cold sweat erupt along my back.
 

It all fades as Gail opens her door, wearing a thick bathrobe, with just the hint of a black lacy bra showing above the fold. Her perfume hangs in the air behind her, reminding me of nights when things weren't this messed up, back when everything was just regular complicated. Last night was all about urgency and lust. Tonight I'm planning to enjoy her in all the ways I dreamed about since the night I left her.

She smiles as I enter, like she knows what I'm thinking and has some plans of her own. She's so soft in my arms, yet so firm. As unattainable as the wind, more substantial than anyone I've ever known.

"Finally," she says. "I was beginning to think you got lost."

"Not gonna happen while I know where to find you," I say, watch her eyes melt.

It's as much as I'm willing to say. Any more and I'll be right back to warning her off. And I don't want to hear myself saying those things any more than she does.

I grab her waist through the soft fabric of her robe, pull her in for a kiss. She tastes of cherries, her lips so velvety and plump, I have no idea how I keep from ripping her robe off, and pinning her against the wall.

Her long fingers are under my shirt now, pressing just hard enough.
 

"Take it off," she whispers, tugging my shirt up. I obey, even though pulling away from her feels like standing in the coldest fall shower.
 

I watch her robe slip off. It cascades down her slick bronze arms, the smell of her perfume growing stronger as it collapses in a heap by her feet.

I move to take my pants off as well, but she bites her lip, takes my hand and leads me to the bed. It's unmade, the white sheets all bunched up like she spent the whole day there, waiting for me. The thought alone makes my cock even harder, if that was even possible.

She sits on the edge of the bed, her thighs pinning me in place and pulls me closer by my waist. Her fingers dig into my sides as she runs her tongue up along the center crevice, nearly unhinging me right there.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," she whispers, starts kissing her way back down as she slowly pulls down my pants. I very nearly lose it as I feel her hot breath on the tip of my cock. Her licks are slow and measured like she's doing it for the first time, still getting a feel for it and I'm glad for that. If she was going any faster, I'd come right away.

I shudder as her lips slide over the head, her lips velvet against my pulsing cock, her throat so hot the whole room's vibrating.

She's still going slow, down as far as she can, then back up, in a tantalizing, maddening mix of heat and softness. I'm so close, I have no idea what's still stopping me from losing it.
 

Then she looks up, her red lips stretched over my girth, her brown eyes golden. As our eyes lock the last traces of why we shouldn't do this vanish, because this moment is the only right thing I've ever known.

She blinks a little as I come, harder than I can remember ever doing. The room glows red around me, all light coming from her. I try to pull back, but she won't let me, keeps her lips on my cock and lets me finish inside her.

Her eyes are tearing up, but there's a glint underneath and no hint of sadness.

I love watching him come undone like that, see all the tension, all the unspoken warnings, bone deep fears just melt away from his eyes. Love being the sole reason for the release, just as I am the only cause of the tension.

I'm wound so tight right now, a breath would snap me open, and Scott's got more than that in mind. I still don't understand how I could spend all those months without his lips kissing me, his deep mysterious eyes watching me, the touch of his skin melting into my own. But I won't think of that now, couldn't for long if I tried.

His hands glide down from my hair. He unclasps my bra, his eyes showing me a peaceful harbor at sunset as he tells me to lay back. I obey without thought, gasp as his weight settles over me. His lips meet my neck, stop for a moment at the sensitive spot right where my collarbone meets my neck, before travelling down, across my right breast. His tongue traces the outline of my nipple and I squeeze my legs tightly together as he bites down just right.
 

He coaxes my legs apart with his hand, his fingers sliding past the elastic of my panties. He finds the spot quickly, and warm heat erupts inside me as his finger finds entrance. I buck into his hand, wanting more.
 

But he just smiles at me as his hand leaves my pussy, making me whimper in protest. But his kisses are covering my stomach now, his tongue soft yet hard, as it travels down, all the way this time, until his hot moist breath hits my clit, and I throw my head back, biting my lip so hard it hurts.

His licks are interspersed with tiny nibbles, and I want it harder, want him inside me, one way or another. Yet his slow licks build up the heat to levels I've not known were possible like adding wood to a bonfire. I'm shaking once he finally works one finger in and then another, pumping into me so slowly I feel every crevice, every bump.
 

I make a fist in his hair, which works to make him go faster. And faster. Nearly too fast. My whole being is wrapped around his fingers now, and I'm panting and shrieking, seeing nothing at all, so close to coming I should be melting into the bed from the heat.
 

He pulls his fingers out before I come, and I whimper in complaint. It turns into a gasp as he buries his cock inside me, his eyes locked on mine, showing me the rippling waters of a harbor, purples and pinks of the setting sun reflected in them.

He's going slowly and I open my legs wider, run my fingers across his soft lips then pull his head down to me for a kiss. My whole being bursts open as out lips touch, bright golden light shooting through, enveloping us both.

My orgasm is still coursing through me, my body soft as clouds, when he stops moving, breaks away from the kiss and just looks at me. Like he can see right into my soul, and I am in no way found wanting. But the light's already fleeing from his eyes, swallowed by a dark night I don't want to see. So I close my eyes, wrap my legs around his, and pull him down against my breasts. We can rest now. The night is ours too, we will make it as we want it.

And for awhile he lets me hold him like that, his cock still inside me, his hard rippling stomach heavy against my own. But too soon he tenses, tries to lift off me.

"No, stay," I whisper and get a cocked eyebrow in return.
 

But he doesn't say anything caustic, and I almost sigh in relief. "I'm too heavy for this."

I let him turn over and pull me after him so I'm on top. It's what he does, he worries about me, wants to take care of me, and I should let him. I want to let him. Even though he's not too heavy and I could stay holding him for hours, days. Forever.

He drifts off to sleep soon after we're nestled together. I just watch him for a long time, enjoying his soft warm skin against mine, since I already slept for most of the day. Doubt starts creeping back into my mind as our bodies cool and the night deepens.
 

It's a mess we're in. A real mess. The kind that gets people killed. Me killed. And I talk bravely, but I was afraid to go out of the room all day and my heart nearly exploded when the maid came knocking at noon. I waited for her to clean the room in the hallway outside, not even daring to go down to the lobby.
 

But all that became just a distant memory once Scott said he's coming over. Less, once he actually stood before me. Love is a potent, indefinable thing, yet it brings certainty too. I'm sure I won't have much of a life without Scott in it.

Only, I'm not sure what kind of a life we'll have together.

Scott stirs as though he can hear me thinking all this, but he just rolls over and keeps on sleeping.

I close my eyes too, concentrate on just his skin pressed against mine, his even breaths filling the room, his heartbeat slow and steady in my ear.
 

Whatever it brings, it's the only life I want to live. The only one that makes sense. However much it actually doesn't.