Nothing Left to Lose (76 page)

My evidence
hadn’t actually helped much the first time around because I’d
refused to press charges against Carter, so whenever someone asked
me how I came to be at his house, or what happened to me there, it
was quickly objected by Carter’s team of highly priced lawyers, and
then the jury were told to disregard anything they’d heard that did
not relate to the actual murder of Jack.

As a matter of
fact, Carter’s team of three lawyers, had practically ripped my
evidence to shreds, making me look like an immature, jealous
girlfriend who barely understood what was being asked. It hadn’t
helped matters that I hadn’t slept for three days prior to the
trial, so I looked and acted like an emotionless zombie while I was
being questioned. In the end, I actually felt as if I’d done more
harm than good.

“The court are
obviously understanding of your father’s position now. We have the
evidence that you gave last time on video. If we need to refer to
anything, we can refer to transcripts of it.” He unclasped his
briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers, thumbing through them.
“Of course, I have you on my list of vetted witnesses, but I’m not
going to call you to the stand again,” he assured me. “The only
thing that’s happened in the last month is that the defence has
also put you down as a witness for their side this time.”

My mouth fell
open in shock. “The defence have? What the hell for?”

He frowned and
nodded. “I’m not quite sure what they hope to achieve, but the
judge will not allow them to call you in on a whim. With your
father being who he is, and you being in the public eye too, they
won’t just be able to call you to trial without due cause. I’m
assuming that they’ve added you onto their list as a publicity
stunt. If they bring you in, it will draw attention to the case
because of your social standing.”

I ground my
teeth in frustration. “I won’t give evidence to help him,” I
spat.

Mr Stanson
nodded, still shuffling his papers. “I don’t believe it will come
to that at all. As I said, I won’t be calling you again but may
refer to your testimony. And the defence will only be allowed to
call you to stand if they can prove that you can provide something
new and enlightening. I strongly believe this is all just a stunt,
possibly to rattle you before the trial.” He held out a stapled
piece of paper to me. “Just in case though, let’s go over a few
things that you said in the last trial, and I’ll brief you on any
questions that you may be asked. We don’t want you to be tripped up
like you were before. After that, I’ll describe what it’s like
inside a court room. I’m assuming that you’ve never set foot in one
before?”

I shook my
head. The only court case I had ever been involved in was Carter’s,
and then I’d been a minor so I was in a separate, normal room,
while the lawyers asked me questions through video link.

I took the
offered paper, noticing that it was a transcript of my evidence
from last time. My head was buzzing with thoughts. The one that was
the most prominent was that Carter had put me on that list just
because he could. He was sending me a message that he could still
get to me and have an effect on my life, even behind bars. This was
a control thing all over again. I raised my chin, vowing that I
wouldn’t let him or this trial get to me like it did last time.
Last time I’d fallen to pieces while being questioned, this time
would be a different story.

When he finally
left, an hour later, my heart was heavy and my brain fuzzy. For the
rest of the day, it was like I was sitting under a raincloud and I
just couldn’t lift my spirits. My tiredness didn’t help my
situation. Dean was blissfully unaware of what I was doing as I sat
in my bathroom, using a razor to make four small but precise cuts
on the inside of my forearm. The pain helped marginally, but it
still wasn’t enough. I longed for Ashton. I longed for his arms,
and his smile, and the silly things that he said to cheer me up
when I was sad. I was counting down the hours now.

Ashton called
me just after suppertime, asking about how it went with the lawyer,
and what he’d said. I’d made light of it, not giving him the full
story because I knew that he would just get angry if he knew that
Carter’s side had me on their witness list too. I’d tried to remain
emotionless, but Ashton just seemed to bring something out in me
that I couldn’t control. In the end, I’d sat there, silently crying
while he’d whispered soothing words down the phone, telling me that
everything was fine and that I wouldn’t even get called up.

When I finally
got a hold of my emotions, I sniffed loudly, wiping my nose on the
back of my hand. “So tell me about your day, was it fun?” I asked,
needing to hear something positive for a change.

“Fun doesn’t
even cover it,” he answered. “The tour was great, and the cars… my
God, I wish I’d trained as a driver when I was younger instead of
SWAT. They clocked me at 143mph on the straight,” he boasted.

My heart leapt
into my throat and I immediately berated myself for buying him
something so dangerous as a gift. “Damn it, Ashton! Were you
supposed to go that fast? You could have been killed!”

He chuckled
wickedly. “I knew that would be your reaction when I told you that.
You worry about me too much too, you know,” he teased. “Anyway,
thank you so much for arranging this.”

“You’re very
welcome,” I replied, chewing on my lip. “So, are your boys having
fun too?”

“Heck yeah.
Nate and Seth are talking about having me killed so they can have
you to themselves.”

“Those boys
don’t interest me,” I answered honestly. Nothing and no one would
ever steal my heart from Ashton.

“Good girl.” I
could practically hear the smile in his voice.

“So, what are
you doing tonight? Getting drunk I hope.”

He laughed.
“You’re always trying to get me drunk,” he teased. “I might have a
couple, I won’t be getting smashed. You think I could call you when
I get back and talk to you again before you go to sleep?”

My lips
twitched with a smile. “If you want to. But how do you know you
won’t have some girl in your room?” It was half a joke, half
serious. I knew there was a very good chance he would be sleeping
with some random girl tonight. I couldn’t stop the jealousy that
was coursing through my veins. Deep down, I knew I had no right to
be jealous, we were just friends who pretended to be more – but
that didn’t stop the ache in my heart when I thought about it.

He sighed. “I
won’t, Baby Girl.”

I laughed
incredulously, remembering something he’d told me once before.
“Right, I forgot, you’ll be in her room so you don’t have to spend
the night.”

“Anna,
seriously, will you stop? I don’t want another girl! Christ!” he
snapped.

I recoiled,
shocked that he’d shouted at me. “I was just teasing,” I muttered.
I hadn’t been, we both knew it, but suddenly I felt guilty for
doubting him.

“Look, just
stop thinking like that, alright? I really hate it. I don’t want
you thinking that I’m gonna be sleeping around just because I’m not
there with you. I won’t.” His voice was sincere, and my guilt
flared up again.

“Okay. Sorry,”
I frowned down at my bitten nails, chewing on my lip.

“Don’t worry
about it. Let’s change the subject, alright?” he suggested. I
smiled and closed my eyes, grateful that the awkwardness could be
brushed under the carpet.

Our phone call
lasted almost an hour, but it felt like merely minutes. At the end,
he’d promised to call me later on, as soon as he was back in his
hotel room. Once I put down the phone to him, I decided I would
forgo sleep once again that night. I couldn’t take another
nightmare on top of everything else, and I certainly couldn’t risk
having another dream of Ashton, all broken and bruised.

I busied myself
sketching while Dean watched TV. From the corner of my eye, I could
see him yawning but trying to cover it up. I closed my book and
stood. “I’m going to bed, Dean. Goodnight,” I lied.

He stood too,
stretching. “Yeah, I think I will too. I’ll see you in the
morning.”

To keep up the
act, I headed to my bedroom and changed into a pair of loungewear
pyjamas before quietly listening to my iPod for an hour. When I
figured that Dean would be asleep, I hesitantly crept back out into
the kitchen, making coffee before sneaking back into the lounge to
watch TV.

At just after
midnight, I got a text from Ashton.

‘
Hey, Baby Girl. I’m sorry this is so late. If you’re still
awake, call me. If I’m too late
, then I’ll
call you in the morning. Missing you like crazy x’

A goofy smile
stretched onto my face as I dialled his number as quickly as I
could. He answered immediately. “Hey! I didn’t wake you did I? I’m
sorry it’s so late. Seth wanted to stay for another one, which then
turned into two,” he grumbled.

The sound of
his voice made my sour mood lighten. “I told you that I didn’t care
if you woke me up. You should have just stayed out and got smashed,
made the most of your time. You haven’t had a drink for over four
months.”

He sighed
deeply. “I didn’t want to stay out. It’s not the same without you
there. I really missed you tonight.”

“You did?” I
snuggled down on the sofa, unable to curb my ecstatic smile.

“Yeah. It was
weird tonight. Usually when we go out, I have you to laugh and
dance with but, towards the end of the evening, all the guys went
their separate directions and I was left on my own talking to the
barman,” he chuckled awkwardly.

I frowned.
“They left you? What for?”

“They all went
out on the hunt,” he replied casually.

The hunt?
Oh, like hunting girls!
“Right, and you didn’t want to?” I
asked quietly.

“No, I didn’t,”
he answered, just as quietly.

I smiled as
happiness built inside me because of his answer. We chatted easily
for about an hour, about nothing in particular, he was just so easy
to talk to. “I guess I should let you get back to sleep,” he said,
just after half past one in the morning.

I sighed. I
hated lying to him but I was doing it for the right reasons. “Yeah.
I miss you. Can’t wait for you to get back tomorrow.” That was the
truth. Eight o’clock Sunday night couldn’t come soon enough in my
opinion. I closed my eyes and imagined his handsome face as he
walked through the front door.

“Shall I bring
us in some takeout?” he asked excitedly.

I laughed
wickedly. “You’re so excited about food!”

“I’m not
excited about the food, Anna; I’m excited to see you.”

My insides
fluttered. “Ashton, seriously, sometimes you are just too damn
sweet.”

“It’s true.
Right then, I’ll call you tomorrow when we get to the airport,” he
said, sounding like he genuinely didn’t want to hang up.

“Okay, sleep
well.”

“I’ll try.
Goodnight, Baby Girl,” he sighed. I disconnected the call and went
into my bedroom, grabbing my vanity bag, deciding to paint my toe
and finger nails, just so I would have something to do.

I managed to
keep myself awake all night, but I was really suffering by the
morning. My eyes were stinging, my body was aching, and I’d already
had about eight cups of coffee. Ashton texted me in the morning,
hoping that I’d slept okay and telling me he missed me. I text him
back, lying that I had slept fine.

Dean looked at
me a little concerned when he got up. “You sleep okay, Annabelle?
You look like crap,” he commented at breakfast.

I laughed
weakly. “Thanks, that’s what every girl likes to hear. You should
know I slept fine last night, I didn’t wake you up, did I?” I
retorted sarcastically.

He shook his
head but continued to look at me strangely. Clearly he knew
something was up.

That day I did
everything and anything in a bid not to sit down. I went to the gym
and then I cleaned the whole apartment, scrubbing out the stove and
even washing the windows, just for something to do. Ashton called
briefly at four pm, but we barely spoke for five minutes because
they called his plane.

The time seemed
to take forever to pass. Finally, at 8:17pm exactly, I heard the
key twist in the lock and I got so excited that I thought I would
die.

As soon as I
was off the plane and out into the warm Arizona air, I hailed a cab
and headed straight for Anna’s favourite Chinese restaurant.
Thankfully, we came here a lot, so I didn’t even need to place an
order, just request our usual with the guy behind the counter.

While I was
waiting for my order, I sent a text to Peter and Dean, telling them
I was back and that I’d be along in about ten minutes and that
business was to be as usual once I arrived. I struggled not to tell
Dean to get the hell out of my apartment so I could spend some
alone time with Anna. I sat there watching the minute hand on the
clock tick around. I was so excited to see Anna again that I could
barely breathe properly. Finally, after forever and a day, the food
was done and stacked into two bags.

By the time I
got back to our apartment building, Peter was standing in the lobby
where he was supposed to be. A grin stretched across his face when
he saw me. “Hey, have a good time?”

I nodded. Of
course I’d had a fantastic time, how could I not, but at the same
time I’d missed Anna so much it was as if I’d left a piece of me
behind. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her and worrying
about her. A thousand scenarios had rushed through my brain every
hour of every day – every single one of them bad. I hadn’t been
able to relax the whole time.