Nothing Left to Lose (77 page)

“It was
fantastic, nice to be back though,” I answered. “I got Chinese
food. Why don’t you go up and eat with the other two then come back
down again once you’re done?” I suggested, holding out the far
guards’ bag of food to him.

His eyes lit
up. “Yeah? Great, thanks!”

“Call Dean.
Tell him that the food’s here and to get the hell out of my place,”
I instructed, only half joking as we stepped into the elevator. I
didn’t want to have to share Anna with Dean.

Peter laughed,
immediately pulling out his cell phone and dialling. “Dude,
Ashton’s here. He bought Chinese food, and he said to get the hell
out of his apartment so that he can seduce his woman,” Peter joked,
laughing wickedly.

I smiled down
at the floor. He had no idea how close on the money he was there
with that statement.

As we stepped
out of the elevator on our floor, I tried extremely hard not to
speed walk with a huge grin on my face. My heart was slamming in my
chest with apprehension. My hands were shaking with excitement as I
balanced all of the bags in one hand and slid the key in the lock
with the other. As I pushed open the door, Dean was walking towards
me, smiling.

“Hey, Ashton,
you have a good time?”

“Incredible,” I
confirmed. “Any problems?”

He shifted on
his feet, flicking his eyes over my shoulder for a split second
before shaking his head. “Nope, nothing,” he replied.

I detected his
unease, but at the same time, movement behind him caught my
attention and my eyes landed on her. My world seemed to stop
spinning as she leant against the wall, sinking her teeth into her
bottom lip and fiddling with her hands. Air rushed out of my lungs.
She was so damn beautiful. It seemed like every time I looked away
from her and then saw her again, I fell more in love with her. They
did say that absence made the heart grow fonder, but I’d never
quite understood that phrase until now.

“Good. Food is
next door. We’ll catch up later.” I put my bags down by the door
and motioned for him to leave, but I was unable to take my eyes
from the most beautiful thing in the world.

“See you later
then,” he chuckled to himself as he left, closing the door behind
him.

Bending down, I
dug around in the top of my weekend bag, finding the single white
rose that I’d bought for her at the airport. It was a little
squashed and wilted from the trip, but hopefully she’d appreciate
the gesture. Her gaze didn’t leave me as I walked towards her
deliberately slowly, letting my eyes wander over her, taking her
all in again, as if for the first time. She had a dazzling smile on
her face. Her eyes shone with love and tenderness; I couldn’t look
away from them. I stopped directly in front of her, our bodies
merely inches apart. Neither of us spoke; I could feel the love
swelling inside me, making my whole body tingle and my stomach tie
up in knots.

Raking my eyes
over her face, I realised then how tired she looked. Her eyes were
slightly pink and shadows resided underneath. She hadn’t slept well
at all this weekend, and had lied to me to cover it up. That
knowledge almost killed me. The thought of her having a nightmare
was tearing me up inside.

She was wearing
one of my T-shirts and a pair of leggings, her hair was pulled back
into a messy twist. Even sleep deprived, she looked incredible.
Before I’d left, I’d memorised every little detail, every curve and
line, the exact placement of the five little freckles she’d gotten
from the sun on our vacation. But seeing them in the flesh now, I
realised that the memory version of her didn’t even come close to
doing her justice.

“Hi,” I
whispered, knowing my voice wouldn’t work if I tried to speak
properly.

Her smile grew
even bigger. “Hi.”

I held out the
rose. As her hand closed over it, she didn’t even look at it, her
eyes never left mine. Unable to stop myself, I bent my head forward
and captured her soft lips with mine just for a second, before
wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly. Her arms
looped around my neck, and her body sagged against mine as she
pressed her face into the side of my neck and inhaled deeply. I
smiled at the reason behind it. She’d once told me that I smelt
like safety and home.

Her breath came
out in a contented sigh as her arms tightened around me, clamping
herself to my chest. “I missed you so much, Ashton,” she mumbled
against my neck.

I grinned. “Not
half as much as I missed you.”

“Really? Well
then, you missed me a lot,” she teased.

I nodded in
confirmation. “Hell yeah I did.” I bent my knees and held her
tighter as I stood back up, lifting her off her feet. Instantly,
her legs wrapped around my waist. I stalked across the lounge to
the sofa, laying her down and settling myself on top of her, loving
the feel of her under me. I had missed her so much that I couldn’t
even put it into words.

With her
fingertip, she traced the bridge of my nose, across my cheek and
then her hand tangled into the back of my hair. “Did you have fun?”
she asked, smiling.

I nodded. “I
had a great time, Baby Girl. Thank you.” Lying on top of her was
far better, if I was honest.

“I’m glad. So,
are you not hungry for a change? You left the food by the front
door,” she teased.

I shrugged,
pressing down onto her, pinning her underneath me as I brushed her
hair away from her face. “Yeah I am, but I’d rather lie here with
you.”

Her eyes
sparkled. “Wow, you did miss me, huh? Thank you for the rose,” she
whispered, finally looking at it.

I laughed
quietly, proud that it had taken her this long to actually look at
it because she was too concerned with looking at me. “You’re
welcome. So, you slept okay then?” I inquired, raising one eyebrow
in challenge. I actually wasn’t sure if she would lie right to my
face.

She bit her lip
and nodded, averting her eyes. “Yeah, fine.”

I sighed and
shook my head. “No you didn’t, Anna.”

A frown lined
her forehead as her hand tightened in the back of my hair. “No,
you’re right, I didn’t. But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re home
now,” she stated, tickling her fingers on the back of my neck.

I decided to
let it go, there was nothing I could do about it now and I didn’t
want to ruin the reunion by getting angry and lecturing her about
something I couldn’t change. Sure, I wished she’d called me and I
would have gladly come home to be with her, but I understood why
she didn’t. Her selflessness was one of the things I loved the most
about her.

“Yeah, I’m home
now,” I whispered. I was definitely home,
she
was my
home.

She smiled
gratefully, and her shoulder relaxed as she guided my mouth down to
hers. I moaned in the back of my throat, kissing her back
immediately. The kiss was getting hotter and hotter by the second
as our tongues danced in perfect synchronism. My body was on high
alert, wanting things to go further. I longed to peel her clothes
off and run my hands and mouth over every inch of her, but I knew
that wouldn’t happen. My jeans were becoming tight across the groin
as I struggled to contain my excitement. The way that Anna managed
to wrap me around her little finger with one kiss should surely be
illegal.

When I pulled
back and broke the kiss a couple of minutes later, my lips were
still tingling. Since the vacation, I’d been trying to keep my
distance and give her space to miss me, trying to make her see that
she wanted to be with me – but, much to my frustration, it hadn’t
worked at all. My body was screaming at me, demanding that I lean
in, close the distance and kiss her again, carry her to the bedroom
and have her moan my name in that sexy way that she does. She was
looking at me tenderly, her gaze travelling over my face. I smiled
at the love and passion I could see shining in her eyes, the kiss
had excited her too. I could practically feel the sexual tension in
the air. I brushed a loose hair off her forehead, savouring the
feel of her flushed skin under my fingertips. Just as I was about
to give in to my body’s urges and kiss her again, her stomach
rumbled loudly.

I laughed,
grinning down at her. “Come on, let’s eat. I got you chicken chow
mein,” I offered, pushing myself off her.

She smiled
excitedly and followed me out to the kitchen, wrapping her arms
around me from behind as I served up the food. “Next time I buy you
something that you have to travel for, I’m coming with you, okay?”
she mumbled into my back, slipping her hand up my T-shirt and
teasing the small patch of hair beneath my navel.

I smiled at her
words. “That’s absolutely fine with me, Baby Girl.”

She sighed
contentedly. She was pressed so tightly against me that I could
feel her heart beating against my back. I turned and wrapped my
arms around her waist, dipping my head and kissing her forehead.
Everything fell back into place. The piece of me that had been
missing over the weekend had now returned, making me whole
again.

The call for
our flight cut through my fuzzy, almost asleep brain. I raised my
head off Ashton’s shoulder and looked up at the TV screen that now
showed our flight was finally ready to board. We’d been camped out
in the airport for the last three hours because it was delayed. My
head pounded because I’d just dozed off for ten minutes before the
screechy speakers had announced we were ready to board.

Ashton smiled
over at me sadly with those beautiful eyes that I would give
anything to pass onto my children. “Won’t be long now and then
we’ll be at the Lake House, and you can go to bed,” he encouraged,
as he stood and held down a hand to help me from my seat.

I hadn’t slept
very well again last night. This time it wasn’t due to Ashton not
being there though, it was merely because of what day it was
tomorrow. Jack’s birthday. That was where we were off to now, the
Lake House. I was going to pay my respects and visit his grave on
his birthday. Of course, not everyone had wanted me to go there. My
father was being sworn into office the day after Jack’s birthday,
so I was expected to attend the ceremony. Plans had been made,
without my agreement, for me and Ashton to fly into Washington
tomorrow so that we could both attend a dinner party the night
before my father was inaugurated. No one understood when I refused
and said that I had to go and see Jack first. Everyone – even
Jack’s parents – had assured me that Jack wouldn’t mind if I didn’t
go this year and that I could go the day after, or just think about
him without being at his grave. The only one that seemed to listen
to me was Ashton. When I’d gone to him, crying, telling him how
much it meant to me that I visit Jack, he’d arranged everything,
talked my father into it, and even called Maddy to rearrange our
flights. He’d been a superstar campaigning for me and what I
wanted. As usual, I owed him a lot.

Even though it
was going to mean a lot of travelling, Ashton and I were heading to
the Lake House tonight so that I could go and see Jack for his
birthday for a few hours, and then tomorrow night we were flying
into Washington so that we could attend the ceremony the following
day. After the ceremony we would jet back to Arizona again to carry
on with life as usual – except this time I would officially be the
First Daughter.

As Ashton and I
made our way onto the plane, I pressed myself tightly to his side
and wove my fingers through his. All week I’d been clingy and extra
cuddly. I knew I was doing it, but I just couldn’t help myself.
Luckily for me though, he’d not complained and asked me for more
space or told me I was stifling him. In fact, I think he’d quite
liked me hanging on him and cuddling up to him all the time.

By the time we
arrived at the Lake House, it was after ten in the evening. My
parents were already in Washington, preparing to move into the
White House. Therefore, the Lake House looked a little bare and
lifeless. The only people here were the caretaking staff.

Silently, I led
Ashton up to my bedroom and curled in my bed without even taking my
clothes off. I was exhausted, not so much physically, but mentally.
It was hard being back here. It was hard knowing that tomorrow I
would have to go and wish happy birthday to a boy that I had gotten
killed. It was even harder knowing that I had promised to love him
forever, when I was now hopelessly in love with someone else.

Behind me,
Ashton climbed into the bed, wrapping his body around mine. As
usual, his touch made me feel better and took some of the edge off
the sadness that was creeping over me and slowly pulling me under.
It was almost as if Ashton had some kind of magic spell over me
that could calm my nerves.

“Goodnight,
Baby Girl,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

“Night,” I
replied, trying not to feel guilty for loving him so much.

When I woke in
the morning it was early, in fact, it wasn’t even six o’clock.
Ashton’s low snore was still rumbling behind me, so I crept out of
the bed, unable to lie still now that I was awake. My body was
twitching with unease and anxiety, and I knew there was only one
way to calm myself down. After pulling on a pair of leggings and a
T-shirt, I silently slipped out of the bedroom and made my way down
to the gym.

When I stepped
through the door, I stopped. The place that I used to frequent
daily, now seemed a little weird and unfamiliar. It seemed like a
lifetime ago that I used to exercise away my problems.

Out of habit, I
cranked up the air-conditioning and headed over to the treadmill,
starting off on a slow walk to let my muscles warm up. Once I was
ready, I started building up speed until I was at a slow, leisurely
jog. I stared at the speedometer as my finger hovered above the
plus button. I knew that I shouldn’t go faster, something inside me
was telling me no, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I pressed the
button over and over, making the belt at my feet turn faster and
faster until I was at a flat out run.