Nova (22 page)

“It’s fine, you can make whatever schedule you—”

“I mean Jack, not you,” I smiled.

He paused for a second and then returned the smile. “Okay, if you’d rather take your orders from Jack, then I’ll let him be the one to tell you that you now have weekends off.”

I chuckled and nudged him with my elbow. “You’ve already talked to him, haven’t you.
”

“Well… Yeah, we talked about a few things.”

“Is that why he told me the things he did? About getting my tech degree and continuing to work at the ranch?”

“Um, y
eah
,
I guess. I just had a few questions about your schooling, so we were just talking about that. Has, uh… Have your plans changed?”

I took a few seconds to answer that. “Um, no I haven’t changed my plans. I still have
twenty-four credits I need to finish up just for my associate’s degree, and then I can apply for UC Davis. Or…whatever other school I can apply for.”

“You’d consider going to a different school? Would
n’t
that consist of moving to a different state?”

“Uh, I guess if I can’t get into one here.”

He was silent for a few seconds and barely nodded his head. I deci
ded it was time to question
him
because I was feeling pretty unsure of where the conversation was heading.

“So would you prefer that I don’t continue on with school?” I asked flat out.

He may have been surprised that I was being so direct, but he just looked at me for a bit before he replied, “If you want to continue with school then I support you one hundred percent.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“But you’d rather I didn’t? If you were to choose for me, what would you choose?”

“That’s not fair, Nova.”

“Why not? I’m only asking you what
you
want.”

He thought for a moment and then sighed. “I want you to be happy.”

“And?”

“And what?” he chuckled. “I don’t have an answer. We have options, and I’m just trying to sort them out.
You’ve always been determined to go to UC Davis, so I just wondered if, well, if that was still what you wanted.
”

“Austin, do your decisions depend on
my
decisions?”

He paused only briefly but answered, “Yes.”

“And what kind of decisions do you have to make that are dependent on
me
?”

It was turning dusk outside, but I could still tell that he was uncomfortable again.

“Austin?”

“Everything,” he finally said. “I just wanna race right now, see how far I can go, but I know you don’t want me to. I could give it up, but if I ever tried to get back into it again, I’m not sure where that would put me.”

“Get back into it? You mean you would give it up for me, but if for some reason you and I don’t work out…
You’d go back to it
?”

“I have a future with you. I just want to know if you see that with me too.”

“Yes, I definitely do.”

He studied me for a few seconds and then asked, “So where doe
s that put us? Do you really want me to quit racing?
”

“First you hinted that I could give up my schooling, and now you’re talking about you giving up racing. Which is it? Is it one or the other? Does somebody have to sacrifice something in order for this to work?”

“That’s what I’m asking you, Nova,” he said, seeming a little flustered. “I don’t know. I guess I’m asking the tough questions, but the bottom line is that I want to be with you more. If you can’t go to my races I understand, but that means
I gotta go a different route.”

“A different route? What does that mean?”

“I might have to fire
you,” he said with a tiny
smirk
.

I laughed and shook my head at him. “I really don’t think that’s going to win me over, Austin. I wouldn’t hold it against you if there was actual merit to canning me, but firing me just so I can be your travel companion is a little low.”

“Maybe you’d realize that you belong with me. You know…my companion.”

I looked him over carefully, trying to read between the lines. “I told you I’d go to
Colorado
this weekend. Maybe I’ll just have to see how it goes, huh?”

“And then you’ll realize you want to spend more time with me. Got it.”

I chuckled and said, “I always want to spend more time with you. That’s not the issue.”

“What’s the issue again?”

“Uh… I guess there isn’t one.
At least not now.
But when I g
o back to school I’ll only be
doing weekends again on the ranch. Then where does that leave us? You’ll be racing weekends until…November?”

He nodded, and I could tell that he’d already thought about it.
I was about to ask him what he planned on doing in a year, when I was hopefully in a veterinary school, but he surprised me with, “You don’t have to work if you don’t want to, Nova.” I stared at him for a few seconds and he added, “I mean I know you want to because you love what you do, but I’m just saying you don’t have to pay for all the schooling and put in all that time just to get a degree to support yourself.
I’m here for whatever you need.
”

“I don’t like relying on other people. I want to be able to take care of myself.”

“I unders
tand that, but I’m just saying we can support each other. I
f you’d consider putting our relationship first, I promise I’ll do everything I can to do the same.”

“Put our relationship first? What would that consist of to
you
?
Quitting my job and quitting school?
You want me to be available to you whenever you want?”

“Now you’re mad at me.”

“No, I’m not. I just feel like
y
ou want to see what I’m willing to do
for you
.
”

“I already
admitted that to you.
I want you to be a part of my life, but I don’t know how things are going to change after a while. I don’t want anything to change and I was just— H
ow did this conversation get so far away from what I wanted it to be?” he basically asked himself.

“Because I’m not one of your business clients.”

“
A
ll I wanted was to be honest and tell you how much I loved you, and it turns into this huge conversation about calendaring our time together. Apparently saying ‘I love you’ to a girl for the first time gets me nowhere.”

I had to smile about that one because he was right. So muc
h for the classic “I love you/
I love you too” moment that ends in a long, romantic kiss. I was right there at that moment, ready to do it, but something stopped me. What was it? Oh, yeah…

“Well you wouldn’t stop talking,” I smiled.

“I know; I was nervous,” he replied a bit gruffly.

I covered my mouth so I didn’t laugh, and he playfully scowled at me.

“I’m sorry, Austin,” I said, sliding my arms around his
waist
. I gave him a hug and he eventually hugged me back, and when I pulled away to look at
him I said, “I
love you, too
.
I really do. So much.
”

I could tell it’s what he wanted to hear, but with a smirk he said, “You sure you don’t
just
feel sorry for me?”

I shook my head wit
h a smile, and finally the moment was sealed with a kiss
.
I was a very happy girl. The guy I was in love with loved me back, and I was especially pleased that he was considering our future together.

I did go to
Colorado
two days later, and traveling with Austin for the first time was quite an experience. He was not only easy to travel with, but I felt like I was finally a part of his life that I hadn’t been before. I don’t know,
but
maybe there really was something missing before then, and just making that step to be together more often was what we needed.

There was also the fact tha
t we were now openly admitting how we felt for each other
, so that kind
of
took our relationship to another level as well
. I liked being honest with how I felt about him, a
nd of course I loved hearing
him tell
me how much he loved me too
.

Our time in
Colorado
was memorable, and the only thing I regretted about it was that we hadn’t done it sooner. Looking back I could see that our lives were just so busy with work that there wasn’t even a chance to take a weekend trip together. Maybe
racing was going to afford us that time with one another, and maybe I could just get used to that.

I went to another race during the month of July, and in August I went to
one
more. I’d never really traveled much in my life
,
so the
three
trips were not only meaningful for my relationship with Austin, but they were good experiences for me in general.
Racing was still hard for me to watch, but I understood how much my presence at the events meant to
him
and it seemed to
help
counterbalance my uneasiness.

August 15
th
was Austin’s twenty-fourth birthday, and the day after he returned from a race in
Utah
, I helped
Marlo
throw
a family party for him.
It was always ni
ce to have him back, and even though I knew his family liked spending time with him, I never had to worry about competing for his attention. Austin was great that way, always seeming to put me first, and I felt very
lucky to have such an attentive guy
.

He
was walking me back to the guesthouse that night when a
Jeep
pulled
in
and parked
next to mine
by the fence
. We only watched quietly as we walked, and the driver stepped out and shut the door just as we got to the porch.

“Austin?” the guy
seemed to ask with surprise
.

It was dark out, and I could kind of see the guy’s face from the porch light, but Austin didn’t even look at him when he paused, seeming to debate whether or not he was going to talk to him.

“Hey Ben,” he finally said, barely turning to look at the guy.

“You’re still hanging around this place, huh?” he asked with a smile as he approached. “Kind of thought
you’d be in the racing circuit
.”

There was
silence
as the two looked each other over. Then Ben looked at me, and
maybe at
the fact that Austin had his arm around me.

“Girlfriend? Or walking the help to the guesthouse?” he smirked.

Austin didn’t respond and made a move to the front door, leading me with him.

“I’m just joking!” Ben laughed, moving to catch up with us. “Hi, I’m Ben,” he said
to me with a smile
, extending his hand.

I was about to
return
the introduction to be polite,
but Austin grabbed my hand before I could even touch the guy, and led me into the house. I chose not to say anything as he led me up the stairs to my room, but I did glance behind me at Ben, standing at the bottom of the stairs watching us
with a smug look on his face
.

Austin shut my bedroom door behind us
and said,
“I don’t want you around him. Don’t even talk to him, okay?”

“Wow, possessive much?” I teased.

“I’m not kidding, Nova,” he replied softly. “I’d prefer it if you stayed away from him. He’s bad news.”

I slowly nodded, choosing to respect his wishes. “Okay.”

He stood there for a few seconds
,
and I could tell he was really bothered. Finally he said, “Why don’t you grab what you need for the night and come stay at the house.”

“What?”

“I’d just feel better if you didn’t stay here while he’
s here
.
”

I was quickly trying to piece together what I knew about Ben. Basically all I knew was what I’d heard from Clara and Heath, but I did remember them saying something about their son being a bad influence on Austin.

“I don’t really understand why you feel it’s ne
cessary to kick me out of my
room just because the Tomlinson’s son is here. Maybe you should just tell me what’s going on.”