Nova (33 page)

It became so clear to me
. I know how that night might have ended had he actually said that out loud. I’m sure I would have left more angry than upset, and possibly we would have put the pieces back together at some point, but I wasn’t sure how I would have felt about
us
after that.

“Nova, let me explain something to you, okay?
” Ben’s horse slowly came to a stop and he waited for me to stop beside him.
“
This has nothing to do with you.
And no, I do not think that you’re not good enough for him.
In fact, I think Austin did himself a favor by adding you to his li
fe. But it’s like…
mixing the dogs with the chickens, just because you only have one fence to put them in. Yeah it’s more convenient, but I assure you that the chickens really don’t belong with the dogs.
It would be better to separate the two and deal with the extra work it will take instead of constantly cleaning up the mess that’s been made because they’re both together.”

“So you’re saying I don’t belong with Austin? He belongs with another dog?”

“It was a stupid analogy.”

“Oh no, it was perfect,” I said mockingly. “It’s not everyday that I’m compared to a chicken.”

“
Well maybe I meant for you to be the dog. But anyway,
I was leaning more towards the
situation
, not the, uh, animals involved.”

“Well if we’re being technical here, Austin wouldn’t be in the cage in the first place. He’s unbounded, remember?”

“You’re refusing to get the point.”

“No, I get the point,” I replied, cueing Born To Be Wild to start walking.
“
I’m to understand that Austin and I are better of
f
having our separate lives, right?”

Ben arrived beside me and said,
“It was just an observation.”

“An observation. Well observe this,” I added, giving him the finger.

He laughed and nodded his head. “Okay, maybe I deserve that. We can stop talking about this, then.”

I sighed and said, “You know you’re just poking the bee’s hive, right? I mean while we’re on the subject of
creatures
…”

He smiled and nodded again. “I understand.”

“And it’s really hard for me to hear things I already know.”

He looked at me as we joined the trail that would loop us around to head back to Harmony Acres. “What do you mean you already know?”

It was my turn to look at him. “I thought that’s why you were bringing all of this up? Because you knew that Austin told me he wasn’t going to marry me.”

He raised his eyebrows and then look
ed down for a few seconds. “I’m-
I’m sorry, but I actually didn’t know that. I’ve just kind of observed your relationship the last couple of
months
and I determined that you wanted to get married. And I know Aust
in so…I just recognized a conflict
.”

“Well, can I ask you a question then?”

“Sure,” he shrugged.

“What do you know from the rest of his family? I mean do his parents wish for him to get married?”

“Oh yeah, d
efinitely.
Marlo
is dying for grandkids
, but not only that, I think they just want to see Austin settle down for good.”

“For good,” I repeated dryly. “I can almost hear Austin say that with a ‘facing the death penalty’ kind of attitude.”

Ben laughed. “Ah, don’t dwell on those thoughts. Just give him some time.”

“Wait, first you say he’ll never marry me, and now you’re saying I should just give him time?”

“
I shouldn’t have said ‘never.’
I’m just trying to get you to hope f
or the best but expect the worst
. You seem to already know what you’re facing, so obviously there’s something good in all of this.”

“Yeah, there is. But I’ve finally realized that I’m just not meant to have things the way I want.
”

“Maybe you just need to
decide
to make it happen.”

“I’m not Austin; I don’t have that kind of courage.”

“Maybe you do.”

I looked at him and shrugged, not sure what to say. But we both glanced behind
us when we heard a noise coming
and Sam appeared a few seconds later, trotting to catch up to us on Inky Black.

After that our
ride was a little more carefree
and heavy discussion about Austin disappeared. I always enjoyed being around Sam, and being with both Sam and Ben kind of made it like a fun day of hanging out with friends.

We returned to the ranch around five and I headed straight to the guesthouse to shower. I had just finished dinner with the ot
her occupants of the guesthouse
when I heard Austin come up the drive. I didn’t miss Ben’s side
-
glance as we ri
nsed our dishes in the sink, but my feelings about Austin hadn’t changed
just from one conversation about him
. Maybe I did have it in me to get my way, but maybe I was more afraid that my efforts would backfire on me.

No, I was just meant to be adaptable. I’d always been that way. I didn’t feel that it was a bad trait, but I was comfortable with that aspect of my personality.

Just go with the flow.

Two days later I was back in school. I was sitting in my first class that Monday, microbiology, and I guess I was
sort of spacing off. We were doing a review but it all seemed so mundane to me. All I could think about was doing something a little more…
interesting
.

“Miss Reynolds?” a voice said, possibly for the second time
.

I realized that several people were staring at me, including my professor.

“Uh, yes?”

“I asked you the difference between prokaryotic cells and eukaryotic
cells. Are you thinking it over
or was your mind actually somewhere else?”

A couple of people giggled, and yes I was embarrassed, but I was also a little agitated. I guess being in school when I wanted to be somewhere else made me
feel
a little cranky.
No wonder some people didn’t care for academics.

“Um, my mind was actually somewhere else, but it’s here now.”

“Good, glad to hear it,” Professor
Moore
smirked. “So? Tell us what you know about the two cells.”

“Everything?”

“Uh, well…”

“Um, eukaryotic cells have a true nucleus; prokaryotic cells don’t.”

“And? What does that mean?”

“It means that the eukaryotic cell is a more complex, evolved organism. It’s a bit larger, the DNA is linear and contains
histone
proteins, and the cytoskeleton is more complex as well.”

“And reproduction?”

“Eukaryotic cells reproduce by meiosis. Prokaryotic don’t undergo meiosis, but they transfer DNA fragments through conjugation.”

“And what about chromosomes?”

Sheesh, why don’t I just teach this class?

“Because e
ukaryotic cells contain a nuclei, they compact the
chromosomes as chromatin. For p
rokaryotic cells, the chromosomes are dispersed in the cytoplasm.”

Professor
Moore
paused as she slowly nodded her head. “Very textbook.
Hopefully you know what all of that actually means.
”

I slowly let out a breath of
air
as she seemed to finally move on with her instruction.

“Nice job,” Jenny whispered. “Only you could pull that off so ‘textbook’,” she smiled.

I returned the smile and did my best to focus on the rest of class. Yes I was pretty
textbook
when it came to the science aspect of my studies. I took things word for word
and drilled them into my head until they made sense. If I didn’t understand what I was reading, I knew I wasn’t actually learning anything. I was used to Jack drilling me on all kinds of things when it came to chemistry, biology, physics, biochemistry and microbiology. I was used to firing off answers on the spot, even while I was in the middle of something entirely different.

I couldn’t help but reflect on my time at Harmony Acres, with Jack and all the things that he’d taught me. I’d always been a good student, but I really had noticed a
change
in my academic work since my summer at the ranch. I could see how much hands-on experience really made a difference, but I also believed there was a huge difference in the people you worked with. I couldn’t recall a single thing that Lori had taught me. But then again
,
she wasn’t “responsible for my education” as she’d once put it, and hardly bothered to include me in a learning experience. Jack on the other hand… He truly was my mentor, and I owed him a lot.

During the month of January I think I had my life figured out. I didn’t
really care for school anymore
and I was content with just finishing up the necessary classes in order to get my tech degree. I realized that my goal had actually been to get me somewhere I wanted to be, and at the time I thought that meant pushing through six-plus years of schooling. I had promised myself I would make my mom proud, and becoming a
DVM
was what I thought it would take. But I knew my mom would be happy with what I had achieved so far, and for the first time in a long time,
I finally felt at ease with my
choice
.

I didn’t let Austin know about my decision because I wanted him to focus on the Showdown that month. On the 28
th
I traveled to
Irwindale
to witness the race that truly marked his career. He took first place in the Showdown, and I was so proud of him. And with Austin it really wasn’t about the glory of such an event like Ben had alluded to, but it was just the flat-out competition of it. He loved racing, and a
win only proved that he was the best
. He didn’t care about the press or the money or the trophies. Austi
n just liked to drive cars, and he liked to drive them fast.

I hardly saw
him
for the next
two
weeks. I talked to him on the phone everyday, but with all the racing stuff going on, he was pretty busy. But he made sure we were together on Valentine’s Day, which he made really special, and then he finally seemed to have a couple of weeks to relax. He did go to F
lorida for a few days to race, and h
e wanted me to go with him
,
but I couldn’t because of an important lab I had
to do that week.

He was still gone when I arrived at the ranch that Friday night, and as I worked Born To Be Wild in the arena by myself, I felt that familiar loneliness set in because Austin wasn’t around.

“You might have to enter him in some barrel competitions!” Sam hollered as she walked by the arena.

I shook my head and replied,
“Oh, no way. Not me, at least. Maybe you can enter him.”

She stopped at the railing and smiled. “He actually has a great cut. How old is he again?”

“
Six
,” I replied, joining her at the wall.

She nodded. “You should really consider it.”

“I don’t know anything about competitions.”

“You don’t have to, you have me. I’
ll school you in all the basics;
you just ride the horse.”

“Mm, nah, I don’t think so.”

“Don’t be afraid to try something new. The worst that could happen is that you’ll come in last place or fall off your horse. Both have been done before, so it’s nothing new.”

“It’s that cut and dry, huh?” I joked.

She laughed and nodded her head. “Yeah, pretty much.
Think about it, okay?
I really would help you out. And he’s looking really good lately. Maybe you should name him
Re
-Born To Be Wild.”

She waved goodbye and walked away, so I veered Wild back into the arena to cool him down. It was after
nine
o’clock by the time I made it back to the guesthouse, and
after I’d showered and came back downstairs,
I
had to laugh
at the poker argument that was ensuing between Jack and Heath.

“He lost and he won’t tell us the name of this lady he’s been trying to court,” Heath
explained to me
.
Cal and Gene were at the table too, and both of them snickered.

I looked at Jack,
who
seemed
like he was about to flee, and
asked
, “
You bet the name of your lady?”