Now and Forever--Let's Make Love (5 page)

As far as selecting the proper method of birth control, check with your doctor and discuss it at length with your partner.
There are many options available and more on the way, since the FDA perpetually has products in the approval process. Each
method has its advantages and disadvantages, so for each couple it is a personal choice. But whatever you use, use it regularly.
Don’t miss that pill. Use that foam or sponge precisely according to the manufacturer’s directions. Be sure that your diaphragm
is filled with plenty of spermicidal gel and in place every night, whether you plan to have sex or not. That allows for spontaneity,
with no unexpected surprises nine months later.

A few words about condoms. First, although natural skins do prevent unwanted pregnancy as well as any other condom, they do
not protect either partner from sexually transmitted diseases. If you and your partner have been monogamous for more than
five years, this might be all right, but why take the chance? Latex condoms really are new and improved, and they now come
in colors, flavors, and textures, lubricated and nonlubricated. There was a story on the radio recently about a Hungarian
company that developed a musical condom that plays a tune as it is unrolled. (I wonder what song it plays.)

You can even buy assortment packages by mail from many catalog companies so you can try and compare. Ed and I have tried several
types, with ribs, ticklers, nubs. I must tell you that I didn’t notice any difference, but you might. So experiment with lots
of different ones. In the back of my book
Come Play with Me,
there is a list of some of the many companies that will send catalogs to you.

Latex condoms fit pretty much everyone, but if the man’s cock is particularly small or particularly large, be sure you buy
a condom that fits properly and doesn’t come off during intercourse or restrict blood flow.

It is important to put a condom on properly. It must be put on before
any
penis-vagina contact. Playing with a loaded weapon is not permitted. A man’s lubricating fluid—or “pre-come,” as it is often
called—is full of sperm, and those little devils can travel upstream from even the most casual vaginal contact. Put the condom
on properly and carefully before any intimate genital contact.

By the way, it can be fun to let your partner help put it on—
very slowly.

After ejaculation, it is important to remove the condom-covered penis from the vagina before the penis softens, so there is
no leakage of fluid around the penis. Hold the base of the condom while withdrawing carefully. Then, once the condom-covered
penis is out of contact with the vagina, remove the condom carefully and don’t make contact with any vaginal tissues. Sperm
are resourceful and have only one purpose— the one you’re trying to prevent. And never reuse a condom— ever.

Okay, now you’re together permanently, every night. What does that mean? For one, it means that being together isn’t a date
anymore. A lot of people ask each other, “What are we going to do tonight?” You see each other naked every night, so it’s
not an exciting novelty anymore. Sex tends to begin in the same way, progress along familiar paths, and end up in the same
place, the bedroom. Now it’s predictable. And what’s wrong with that? I hear you ask. Nothing. But predictability can lead
to boredom, and that is a problem.

This is a time to be a bit creative, but creativity requires communication. You and your partner must find a way to share
your needs, desires, and fantasies. There are several important parts to good communication, some of which we’ve already read
about with Jake and Sandy and with Barry and Carol.

First is the willingness to take a bit of risk. Let’s say that, like Barry, you’ve had a fantasy for years. You have recurrent
dreams about having your partner show up at your office at lunchtime, lock the office door, and ravish you in your desk chair.
Wonderful. But discussing that with your partner is a delicate matter.

He’ll think I’m crazy.

She’ll think I’m kinky.

He’ll think he’s not good enough for me.

She’ll think our sex life isn’t any good.

He’ll think I’m not a good lover.

She’ll think I’m not a good lover.

Personally, I think the risk is minimal with two people who genuinely want to please each other. Suggest something mild at
first. Use body language, purrs and groans, subtle ways to say “I like that,” or “That doesn’t feel as nice as what you were
doing before.” While making love, tell a story that includes something you want to try. Slip a bookmark in one of the stories
in this book. However you do it, take a chance.

The second requirement for good communication is being a good receiver. Tune your radar to your partner’s frequency if that
person is telling you a story or a joke. Look for suggestions everywhere—in conversation, in gestures, in responsiveness.
Resist knee-jerk reactions. Just relax and realize that your partner’s telling you something wonderful, sharing difficult
yet potentially highly exciting things with you. He or she has made the first move toward better communication. It’s up to
you to make the second. Discuss or slowly act on what you think you’ve discovered. Rub that way instead of this, and listen.

But what if you hate the idea your partner suggests? It is as important to say no as it is to say yes. Lovemaking must never
become an endurance contest, testing yourself to see whether you can put up with that awful thing your partner wants to try.
If you’ve got an open mind about rubbing grape jelly on each other’s bellies, go for it. But if the entire idea makes you
gag, say so. Neither of you want a negative encounter, because it makes the next one that much more difficult. So say, “I
don’t think I would enjoy that.” Then add, “But I might like it if we …”

Saying no has a positive side, too. Ed and I communicate well, and occasionally one or the other of us has suggested something
that the other finds unpleasant. If I know that he will admit that an idea of mine turns him off, I can suggest anything—literally.
So can he. I don’t have to worry that he’s enduring something for my sake, and I don’t endure for his. Whatever we do is for
the right reasons.

Since Al and Tina each had good radar, they learned something new about each other one afternoon, totally by accident.

Al worked for a large suburban manufacturing firm, and the low industrial buildings covered a large area. The company had
landscaped the acres around the buildings carefully, with large wooded areas and artificially created ponds and streams. Animal
life was abundant in secluded glens and clearings that contained bird and small-animal feeders. In the nice weather, both
at lunchtime and after work, these areas were filled with employees. They wandered through the lush foliage or sat on blankets
to watch the birds and to hand-feed the tame squirrels.

Tina had the day off from work. Since it was late May and a perfect day for a picnic, she surprised her husband with a wicker
basket in one hand and a thick plaid blanket under her other arm. It took no time for Al to put his work aside, find a spot,
spread the blanket, and devour the sumptuous lunch Tina had assembled. “It’s so beautiful out here,” Tina said. Content, she
dropped onto her back and gazed at the fragments of brilliant blue sky visible through the leaves of the huge maple tree above
them.

“And you’re a sexy broad,” Al said, watching the way her position caused her lightweight summer blouse to stretch across her
ample bosom.

“Umm,” she purred. “And you’re a very sexy man.” She let her eyes roam her husband’s body and her gaze settled on the lump
in the front of his pants. She watched him shift position as he sat on the blanket.

“You make me crazy,” he said, then he looked at his watch. “Damn, it’s almost one-thirty. I was due back fifteen minutes ago.”

He started to get up, but Tina took his hand. “You’re late already. Will anyone really miss you for another few minutes? It’s
so wonderful here.”

Al settled back down. “Well,” he mused aloud, “Mark’s away today and Georgia had a dentist appointment.”

“So you can stay a few more minutes?”

“I guess.” He settled back onto the blanket, lying shoulder-to-shoulder with Tina, their fingers intertwined. “This makes
me think of our honeymoon. Remember? We got so excited that we almost tore each other’s clothes off on the beach that day.”

“God I was hot,” Tina said, feeling her excitement grow as she remembered. “We almost ran to the room.”

“I always wondered how it would have felt to do it right there on the beach.”

“Al,” Tina said, shocked, “you wouldn’t have. There were people around.”

“I know, but making love in the open just seems so erotic.”

“Someone might have seen us.”

“So? We’re married. And we’re only doing what everyone knows people do every day.” He turned and tickled the inside of Tina’s
ear with the tip of his tongue.

“Al, stop that.” She playfully pushed him away. “There are people here, too.”

Al propped himself up on one elbow. “Not really. Lunch hour’s long over. There’s no one in sight.” He squeezed her breast.

Despite her better judgment, Tina was getting very excited by the conversation and by Al’s talented hand. Her husband was
usually very traditional about love-making, preferring the bedroom at night. This was so thrillingly risky. “You wouldn’t
dare.” She didn’t know whether she wanted him to dare or not.

Al looked at Tina’s slightly flushed face and saw the rapid rise and fall of her chest. The idea obviously excited her as
much as it did him. “No one would know.” He ran his finger over the crotch of Tina’s jeans and felt her heat. He watched her
breathing quicken even more and felt her hips move. “You know,” he whispered, “it’s more exciting knowing that there might
be people watching us.”

Tina was silent. It
was
exciting thinking of someone possibly seeing what they were doing. And Al’s hand rubbing her crotch was driving her crazy.
After a while, she murmured, “You’d better stop that.”

“Why?” Al asked, his face close to her ear, so his hot breath tickled her.

“Because.”

“Because you’re going to come? Tell me.” His finger rubbed all the places he knew she liked, and he could feel the crotch
of her jeans getting damp.

“Oh God, baby.”

“I know we can’t fuck right now, but I’m going to make you come. Right here, where anyone might be watching.” His finger kept
up its magic rhythm. “Maybe someone’s got a pair of binoculars and is peering at us through the trees. Maybe he can see my
hand between your legs.”

“Baby …” The thought of someone watching her filled Tina’s mind with erotic images: A strange man’s eyes, his knowing that
Tina was going to come.

“Maybe it makes him hot to watch what we’re doing. Maybe he’ll take out his dick and start playing with it while he watches
us. He’s got his dick in one hand and his binoculars in the other. He’s watching us and jerking off.”

The image of the man with his engorged penis in his hand was enough to drive Tina over the edge. With little noise or movement,
the first spasm hit her.

“Oh yes, baby,” Al purred. “Come for me while that man watches.”

Waves of orgasm rolled over Tina’s body, flowing from her belly to her sopping cunt. Her mind swirled with Al’s hand, the
unseen man’s cock, the binoculars.

“He’s watching us,” Al whispered, “seeing my hand rub your pussy. His eyes are on my hand and on your face. He knows you’re
coming. You can’t hide from his eyes.”

Al’s voice drove spasm after spasm through her body. “Oh God, baby,” she moaned again. “Oh God. So good.”

Finally limp, Tina lay beside Al in silence for a while, then said, “That was sensational. I’d never imagined that the idea
of someone watching me would get me so turned on.”

“Neither did I. But you just went crazy. God you were hot.”

“But what about you?” She patted his crotch. “You didn’t come.”

“I know. But I want to wait until later. I’m not quite the exhibitionist that you are.”

“Exhibitionist?” Tina said, horrified. “I am not.”

“Well, maybe it’s just the fantasy of being watched, but it sure got to you. And I can wait. Now that I know what makes you
go crazy, I want to consider all the other places we can make love. The top of the Empire State Building, the White House
lawn …”

If you enjoy the fantasy of being watched, the video camera might be just the thing for you.

It is said that X-rated videos appeal mostly to men. Ed and I seem to have been born the wrong sexes. Most X-rated videos
turn him off, but they turn me on. So much for common wisdom. Suffice it to say that if X-rated videos turn you on, rent one
or two and watch them together.

Buying videos is an expensive proposition. I get lots of catalogs with hundreds of videos described, at prices ranging from
ten dollars for amateur films made by couples not unlike you and your partner to seventy and eighty dollars for movies specializing
in bondage, spanking, and other such activities. Unfortunately, if you’re interested in such specialties, they aren’t always
easy to rent, so purchasing might be your only alternative.

You can play a game with an X-rated video. Set a timer for anywhere from five minutes after the movie begins to a few minutes
before its conclusion. Then, when the timer sounds, do whatever the folks in the film are doing. Silly but fun, and fun’s
what it’s all about, after all.

You can also make your own video. The nice thing about video cameras is that you don’t have to have your film developed, so
you can film whatever you like without the danger of anyone else seeing what you were doing. Set the camera on a solid surface
or on a tripod, aim it at the bed, press the record button, and cavort. It can be just as exhilarating to watch the film later.

If you’ve got a friend with whom you are particularly close, you can have him or her film your lovemaking. Particularly thrilling
can be having that person direct the lovemaking, giving you instructions as to how and where to touch and what to do.