Nowhere to Run (Stephanie Carovella) (22 page)

“He killed her, didn’t he?” Stephanie asked, her voice cold.

Gena lifted her face from Jesse’s chest, her eyes wet with tears. “We think so, yes.” She said, her voice hoarse from crying.

“Why?” Stephanie asked bluntly, moving away from Ben to stand in front of Gena. “Why would he do this? She has no connection to Carolyn. There’s no connection to our past, our university years? Why kill someone so god damn innocent?” she spat out angrily, her eyes blazing with fury and pain.

Gena shook her head. “Stephanie, I don’t know why.” She extracted herself from Jesse’s suddenly lax arms.

Stephanie grabbed Gena’s forearms tightly, her fingers digging into her arms. “It’s because he can. The bastard knows he can get away with it. He knows we don’t have a fucking clue,” she spat. “Damn it Gena, why is he doing this to us? Why is he doing this to you, to me?”

“Stephanie, you’re hurting me,” Gena said quietly, watching as her friend released her, stepped backwards and moved into the centre of the living room.

“Come on, you bastard,” she taunted. “You want me, come and get me. I’m sick of your games. I won’t play them again. Kill me already! I’m here, waiting!” she yelled, holding out both of her arms, like a sacrificial lamb.

Jase strode over to Stephanie and grabbed her, pulling her protectively against him. “No one knows why this is happening, but I swear to you, I will protect you with my life,” he whispered, close to her ear.

Ben’s expression was inscrutable to read at Stephanie’s outburst. He struggled to keep a grip on emotions. He felt like his control was teetering on the edge, and anything could send it spiraling. “Gena, how did it happen?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans before he removed them again.

“We’re not sure yet,” Jase answered, speaking for Gena.

Ben turned, glaring at Jase, his eyes glittering glacially. “Do you mind? This is a private moment. I don’t even know what the hell you’re still doing here.”

Jase’s next words sent chills down Ben’s spine. “I’m here, damn it, because I’m the one who discovered her body.”

“You did what?” he exploded, not sure he’d heard correctly.

“How?” Jesse asked, speaking for the first time since Gena had told them about Ana’s murder.

Gena wiped her eyes, her voice shaky. “Remember how I told you my M.E, Cynthia, was missing?”

Ben and Jase nodded while Stephanie’s expression was emotionless, her eyes vacant. She extracted herself from Jase’s embrace, moving restlessly around the room. His eyes followed her, knowing that even as she was feigning disinterest, she would soak up every detail they disclosed.

He spoke carefully, keeping his voice neutral. “I used the spare key to Cyn’s place. As soon as I was inside I knew something wasn’t right. The house was like a toxic bomb and all I could smell was a combination of bleach and a metallic odor.”

Ben interrupted him. “What do you mean a metallic odor?”

Stephanie answered for them. “Blood,” she said with a shrug. “It smells metallic.” Ben paled when, with a smile not quite reaching her eyes, she added cruelly, “The smell of bleach and blood combined suggests our favorite serial killer cleaned up his mess once again.”

“We’re not calling him a serial killer yet,” Gena interrupted quietly.

Stephanie arched an eyebrow mockingly. “Semantics really, don’t you think, Gena? Three strikes, makes him a serial killer, why deny what he is? You’re not stupid enough to believe Angel was his first. Not with how he’s perfected his killing. No one gets that lucky on his first kill.”

Jase swallowed hard, unconsciously going back the crime scene. He could remember the thundering beat of his heart. Clearing every room, the sound had been deafening in his ears. He’d opened Cynthia’s bedroom door, turning the handle carefully, unsure of what he’d find or the dangers lurking within the shadow. “I checked every room, until I got to Cyn’s bedroom. I opened the door and I saw her – Ana.” He broke off, sweat beading his upper lip. “He left Ana, and took Cyn.”

Jesse frowned, struggling to understand why Ana had been killed. “I don’t get it,” he said, shaking his head in confusion. “It doesn’t explain why you’re so sure Ana was murdered by the same animal who murdered Angel.”

Ben nodded vigorously. “How could you know for sure?”

“I just know, Ben,” Gena whispered.

Ben began to pace the living room. “You can’t know for sure, Gena. You can’t know it’s the same killer.” He spoke faster, adding excitedly, “I mean, why kill Ana? It doesn’t make sense.”

Stephanie tilted her head to one side, her lips curving into a cool smile. “Yes she does.” She spoke slowly, ignoring them as she mused aloud. “He left a message, didn’t he?” she said instinctively. “The bastard left his signature.”

“I still don’t understand why he would kill Ana,” Jesse said quietly.

“Ana was irrelevant,” Stephanie said curtly.

Ben staggered backwards, as if Stephanie had just slapped him. His face showed his fury. Directing his anger at Stephanie, he choked out, “How can you say that? She was Gena’s friend, your friend, our friend. Damn it Stephanie, how can you be so callous?”

“Not to me, to him.”

Gena’s eyes met Jase’s and he smiled at her. He turned his head, watching Stephanie analyze the situation. Gena had told him about Stephanie’s uncanny ability to get inside a killer’s mind. He’d been dubious at first and hadn’t expected her to be so accurate. She was scarily good. Too good at times, he thought, seeing Ben and Jesse’s pale faces.

He watched her roam around the room, realizing she thrived on it. She loved taking a walk on the dark side. He thought about interrupting her, preventing her from continuing, unsure if Ben or Jesse would be able to stomach what she had to say. He knew she wasn’t going to hold back for anyone. She was so focused, so lost in her own thoughts. He wondered if she even really knew they were there.

“Don’t stop,” he blurted out, unable to hold back, his eyes sparkling with interest. “I want to know what else you think.”

Stephanie studied him, assessing his interest, trying to decide whether he was mocking her or serious. Turning to look at Gena, who nodded encouragingly at her, she gave Jase a small smile and shrugged. “My guess is he killed Ana because he wanted to hurt Gena, or possibly even me. He wanted to send a message. To say to us, I can get close. I can strike when you least expect it.

Cynthia Mallory was taken because he wanted to prove to you that he could. He’s saying no one is safe. He knew this would hurt the L.A.P.D and he’s laughing at you, he’s laughing at all of us. His message is a simple one. He’s telling us we can’t stop him.”

Gena took a deep breath, trying to shut out the pain twisting at her insides. “Stephanie’s right. It didn’t matter who he took. If it hadn’t been Ana, it would have been someone else. As long as it was someone I knew, he wouldn’t have cared who. He left a message, a message for me.” She found herself shaking again. In a trembling voice, she said, “The bastard left me a note in her blood. Possibly as Ana lay dying...he wrote a message for me on the bedroom wall, in her blood.”

“Stop it,” Ben whispered, breathing heavily, “Stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

Unable to control his grief, he strode out of the room. His footsteps down the hall quickened into a run, the front door opening and slamming shut. Stephanie turned on her heel, quickly following him, cursing herself for speaking so openly in front of Ben.

“Stephanie, Ben… damn it, it’s not safe,” Gena began, groaning when she heard the front door slam again. She moved to follow, but Jesse stopped her.

“Let them go, they won’t get far,” he said gently.

She nodded. “Jase and I have talked to the Detective assigned to Ana. Detective Frank Delucci is heading up Ana’s murder,” Gena said, her voice trembling. “He brought something up about Stephanie, something I hadn’t thought about.”

Jesse smiled grimly, knowing exactly what she wanted to tell him. “She could be his next target,” he finished for her.

Gena nodded, her eyes filling up with tears. She furiously wiped them away with the sleeve of her jacket. “I’m sorry, Jess. I know how hard this for you to hear.”

“It’s tough for all of us,” he corrected, reaching over to wipe a tear from her cheek. “Protecting her isn’t going to be easy. She’s determined to throw herself in the path of danger.”

Gena laughed harshly. “Well, that’s nothing new. Stephanie acts like she has some kind of death wish.” She gave Jess a furtive look. “I don’t want her to know she could be his next victim.”

Jesse choked back a laugh. Stephanie and Gena still managed to surprise him. No matter how much bad blood happened between them, when the going got tough, they were always going to stand together as one. They made one hell of a formidable team.

“Gena, you should know Stephanie better than that. You really think she doesn’t already know?”

Gena groaned. “Great. How the hell are we going to protect her when she seems Gung-ho on getting herself killed?”

Jesse smiled. Picking up the phone, he said, “I believe I know just the person to help us out.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ben sank down into the sand, staring out at the still darkness. The only noise penetrating the night was the soft ebb and flow of the waves as they crashed peacefully against the sand. Ana was gone. No longer would he be able to pick up the phone and call her just to say hi. No more would he hear the rhythmic sounds of her drumming while she practiced.

She’d been his haven. His solace he could turn to when he was feeling lost, when he had needed to feel alive. He had used her. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, but he hadn’t loved her quite the way she’d loved him. He’d tried. He’d tried so desperately to love her the way she wanted, but something always held him back. He shook his head. No not something, but someone. Stephanie had.

No matter how hard he’d tried, he had never been able to stop loving her. He’d tried his hardest to move on and he’d thought he had. Instead he’d compared every lover he’d had to her. He’d done the very same thing to Ana. He’d compared her to everything Stephanie was, even though he knew in doing so she would fail to compare.

He smiled bitterly. Ana always knew she wasn’t the love of his life. She’d known she would always come second best. Even before he’d realized it, she’d known. Known and accepted it. It was just the kind of woman she was. She’d done it because she had loved him and for her, it had been enough.

It shouldn’t have been that way. She deserved so much better. She should have had a chance at real love, real passion. Now she never would.

He heard footsteps approaching and moved his head to watch Stephanie walking towards him. Wordlessly, she sank down into the sand beside him. His gaze moved back towards the water, breathing raggedly when she took his hand in her own.

“I loved her, you know,” he said quietly, breaking the silence.

“I know you did. She knew it as well,” Stephanie said gently.

Ben nodded. Hot tears slid down his cheeks and he took another ragged breath. “I loved her. Just not in the way I should have. Not the way she wanted me to. I tried Steph. I tried so hard to love her the way she wanted, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t give myself completely to her.”

“I know,” she whispered, lifting his hand to her lips. “You’re not going to go through this alone. I won’t let you.”

Ben turned to stare at her again, reaching out and stroking her cheek. “I love you, Steph. You know that right?”

Stephanie nodded, her gaze not wavering from his emotional one. “I know and you know I love you too,” she said, leaning over and hugging him tightly.

Ben closed his eyes, a lump in his throat. Pulling Stephanie closer, he rested his chin on the top of her head, his body shaking with intense emotion. He loved her so much. More than he had even comprehended. More than he could have ever loved Ana and it made him feel even more guilty, knowing he would have never given Ana all she craved. Tangling his hands through Stephanie’s hair, he pulled her closer, knowing this wasn’t the right time to tell her the truth. Now wasn’t the right time to tell her how he really felt.

Stephanie felt Ben tremble in her arms and her throat convulsed. Her own eyes closed involuntarily, tears sliding silently down her cheeks. Ana hadn’t deserved to die this way. She hadn’t deserved to die, period.

She prayed it would soon be all over – this nightmare they were all going through would, hopefully, end with her. She just wanted it to end. She still didn’t completely understand why he killed Ana, other than to show what he was capable of.

She’d be there for Ben, she vowed. She knew what he was going through. She knew the pain of losing someone she’d loved passionately and the devastation she felt afterwards. Gently pulling back from Ben, she reached out and wiped away his tears, smiling tenderly at him. “If all your female fans could see you now, they’d all wet their panties,” she teased, making him choke with laughter.

They both turned back to look at the water, drawing their knees close to their chests, and digging their toes in the sand. Stephanie stared out in the darkness, relaxing underneath the peaceful tranquility of the night.

She quickly looked at Ben, wanting to tell him everything would be okay. She wanted to tell him he would get over the pain he was feeling. She couldn’t do it though. She couldn’t reassure him and tell him he would get over it when she knew it would be a lie. She never had.

She spoke quietly, her voice filled with anguish. She struggled to say the words, the memories of her loss coming back like it was yesterday. “When Dominic died, I felt like I’d been sucker-punched in the stomach. It felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. The shock, the pain...it almost killed me. Even though we were separated, I never ever stopped loving him. I never stopped thinking about him. I thought of him in almost every waking moment. We weren’t together, but we weren’t completely apart either. He was always there and I took him for granted. Nothing could have prepared me for his death. I didn’t realize just how much I loved him until he died.”