Nowhere to Run (Stephanie Carovella) (43 page)

Sandra shot her a warning glare, seeing the flash of panic on Barbara’s face. “Of course she is, aren’t you Barbara?” she soothed. Barbara nodded and Delucci lifted a telephone, speaking quietly into it and giving the signal for the line-up to be brought out.

Gena leaned against the glass, watching the men they’d pulled together for the line-up, walk out. She clenched her fists, flexing them and smoothing them against her jeans, her whole body tense with apprehension. She turned her head towards the line-up, her eyes involuntarily moving over Jake.

Feeling Delucci’s eyes on her, she met his gaze, her eyes clashing with his. She flinched at the sympathy and regret she read there, dropping her own eyes to the floor. The last thing she wanted was for Delucci to feel sorry for her. Hell, she didn’t want him feeling anything for her except the respect she deserved. The respect she’d earned. She knew it wouldn’t be long before word spread through the department she’d let herself get too close to a case, and that she’d let her emotions overwhelm her. She knew, after this, her judgment would constantly be questioned. They’d never let her forget it, they’d never let her live it down.

“Can you see him? Sandra asked, gently squeezing Barbara Madden’s hand reassuringly.

Barbara frowned, studying the men through the one-way window. “I thought you said Jake Carlisle was going to be in the line-up?” she said, turning to Sandra in confusion.

Gena’s eyes narrowed speculatively. “Are you telling us you can’t see Jake Carlisle?” she asked, her voice catching in her throat. She was unable to stop the flood of relief coursing through her body, turning her head to look at Jake’s impassive expression.

“No. He’s not there. You said I would be protected. You said you had picked him up,” Barbara said shaking, the undisguised terror in her eyes.

“Are you sure Jake Carlisle is not in the line-up?” Sandra pressed. Recognizing the fear in Barbara’s eyes, she added gently, “If you would just look again to make sure.”

Barbara shook her head, her tone adamant when she spoke. “I’m telling you the man I was with, the man who said his name was Jake Carlisle, is not there.”

“You’re positive?” Delucci spoke to her for the first time, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“His face is burnt into my brain. After what he made me…the things he did...” She choked out, shoving her fist into her mouth to prevent a sob escaping. Closing her eyes, silent tears slid down her cheeks. “It’s not over is it? You haven’t caught him after all? He’s still out there.”

Chapter Forty-Three

Gena gloomily sat at her kitchen table, a glass of whisky in her hand. Leaning back in her chair, she closed her eyes wearily. It was done. She’d been pulled off each case, and suspended indefinitely until she faced a disciplinary hearing. After Barbara Madden couldn’t identify Jake, she’d become hysterical, accusing Sandra of leading her on. She’d told them she’d only come down here on the assurance they had ‘Jake Carlisle’ in custody.

Gena took a deep gulp of her drink, savoring the fiery liquid, as it slid down her throat. Barbara Madden was terrified. Gena didn’t blame her. She’d been promised she was safe. She’d been assured they had Jake Carlisle in custody and he couldn’t hurt her and she’d believed them.

Snorting, Gena acknowledged it wasn’t completely the L.A.P.D’s fault. They did bring Jake Carlisle into custody. Unfortunately the Jake Carlisle Barbara Madden had met, wasn’t the Jake she had known for the past ten years.

All hell had broken loose. Barbara Madden accused them of playing her, of making promises they couldn’t keep and leading her on. She’d refused their offer of protection, telling them she was better off on her own. She’d left before Sandra could change her mind, leaving Gena’s partner furious. From Delucci’s expression of displeasure, she’d known he’d already turned his focus back to Leigh Walker.

Delucci had taken her aside, to advise her he was letting Jake Carlisle loose. Gena had hoped she could speak to Jake, explain everything to him, but she hadn’t been given the chance. When she’d tried to speak to him, she’d been shut down by Jesse. While she’d been trying to save his neck and screwing up her own professional life, Stephanie had explained Jake’s arrest to Jesse and Ben. Facing all three of them, she’d seen the polite icy masks of disdain on their faces. It didn’t matter she’d only been doing her job, what mattered was she’d wronged them.

Gena took another gulp of her drink, her lips twisting into a grimace. She’d been shut down by all of them, but it had been nothing compared to Jake’s reaction to her. He’d completely ignored her, avoiding her as he filled out his release forms. Stephanie, Ben, and Jesse had all formed a protective circle around him, ensuring she couldn’t even get close to him. She’d wanted to explain – to tell him she’d lied for him, but she’d not even been given a chance.

Lifting her glass up into a mock salute to the empty room, she angrily wiped at the tears threatening to spill. Her bad day hadn’t ended there either. After leaving the line-up room, she’d followed Delucci to his office and officially declared herself Jake’s alibi. While she’d been lying through her teeth to protect Jake, Sandra had been filling their Chief in on her personal involvement in each case. She’d royally screwed Gena over, just as Gena knew she would.

Gena had barely taken a step out of Delucci’s office, before Chief Roberts had called her into his office, asking for an explanation. Gena hadn’t had much of a choice, but to confess everything to him. He’d gone ballistic, ripping her to shreds in his reprimand. Not only did he pull her off the murder cases, but he’d also suspended her. She wasn’t surprised, but it still hurt deeply. She was facing a disciplinary hearing for her actions, and she risked losing everything she’d worked so hard for.

And for what?

Jake Carlisle. A man, who refused to even acknowledge her. Instead, he’d looked right through her, as if she were invisible.

Wiping away the tears flowing freely down her face, she realized she was alone in this. Whenever she’d had a previous crisis, she’d been able to call up Angel, Stephanie or Ana. Angel and Ana were now dead and she was so far up shit-creek with Stephanie, she didn’t think she’d ever find her way back. The knowledge made her set her drink down on the table. Placing her head in her hands, she started to cry in earnest.

***

Stephanie paced restlessly around Jase’s living room, flicking her eyes to where Jake sat on Jase’s kitchen bench, taking occasional swigs out of the bottle of Jack Daniels he held in his hand.

“I don’t get it,” she muttered, stopping her pacing to face Jake.

Jake lifted the bottle up to his lips, taking a deep gulp, before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Stephanie, you’re going to have to give me more than I don’t get it, because I’ve got no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” he said, muttering underneath his breath, “as usual.”

“I heard that,” Stephanie retorted, moving to stand next to the bench. She hoisted herself onto it, sitting beside him. Knocking his leg with her own, she took the bottle of Jack Daniels from him, taking a delicate sip. Jake rolled his eyes, grinning when she passed the bottle back to him silently.

“Jess is pissed with me,” she said quietly.

Jake nodded, his grin widening. “I don’t think he’s happy you’re staying with Devlin. Trust me darlin’, that’s nothing compared to when he finds out Devlin and you have shared body fluids.”

Stephanie wrinkled her nose at his description, lifting the bottle up to her lips again. Mid-way she paused, turning her head to him in surprise. “How did you know?”

Jake laughed huskily. “You’re kidding me, right? Carovella, you’re glowing. You like this guy. I picked up on it the first time I saw you in a room together.”

“Do you think Jesse and Ben know?” Stephanie asked slowly, dropping her eyes to her swinging legs.

Jake grabbed the bottle off her with one hand, and patted her upper thigh with the other. “Darlin’, they know you like him. They just don’t know how much, but they’ll find out eventually.” Jake paused, studying her unhappy expression. “You really like this guy a lot, don’t you?”

Stephanie nodded silently, closing her eyes. Opening them again, she whispered, “He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel centered. I haven’t felt this way since Dom.”

Jake threw his arm around her shoulders, drawing her close to him. He brushed his lips against her forehead. “Then go for it. Dom would want you to be happy and you deserve it.”

“I don’t think so, Jake. I can’t hurt Jesse and Ben by hooking up with Jase and let’s face it, this isn’t going to end with happily-ever-after for us. He was my best friend’s boyfriend – my best friend who was murdered by a serial killer, obsessed with me. He loved her. He won’t ever be able to get past what he lost when he lost Angel,” Stephanie said quietly, clasping her hands together and looking down at them. “I don’t blame him. I will never be able to get over losing Dom, especially now I know the truth. He died because of me.”

“And you’re pissed with Gena because she didn’t tell you?” Jake said softly, tucking his fingers underneath her chin and lifting it so he could meet her eyes. When she silently nodded, her eyes reflecting her anguish, he swore fluently. “Damn it Carovella, you know Gena was only doing her job. She was doing exactly the same tonight, when she cuffed me. I can’t say I liked it, but I get it now.” He grinned at her. “Remember when Delucci pulled me aside as we were leaving?”

Stephanie silently nodded again and his grin widened. “He told me Gena didn’t want to cuff me. In fact she lied for me. She told Delucci she was with me when Ana died. She threw herself in front of a fucking bus for me. How’s that for crazy?”

Stephanie arched an eyebrow, her own lips twisting into a grin at the pole-axed expression on Jake’s face. “And you’re here, because?”

“Pretty sure Devlin would shoot me, if I left you alone,” Jake said, his grin fading. “Damn it Carovella, she’s throwing her career away for me.”

“She loves you Jake, she always has,” Stephanie said quietly, giving him a small smile. “My advice is, take it and run. Love like that is hard to find. I had it once. I threw it away to protect Dom, and I lost him anyway. Life’s too damn short to waste time and you and Gena have wasted so much of it already. You should go and see if she’s okay.”

Jake bumped her with his shoulder. “I thought you didn’t give a damn about Gena anymore? She was out of your life for good, weren’t those your exact words?”

Stephanie shrugged carelessly. “I was done with her, but then I saw her face at the Precinct. Gena’s not like us, Jake. Her feelings have always been an open book, for anyone to read. She was in pain tonight. She hated herself. She didn’t want to arrest you. When you were released, I saw her face. She believes in you.” Smiling at Jake, she added, “I’ll never be able to forgive Gena for keeping the truth about Dom’s death from me, but I won’t destroy our friendship because of it. It’s what
he
wants. It’s all part of his game. Sending me a miniature car was his way of trying to alienate me from Gena and vice versa. He doesn’t want us standing together because he knows we’re at our strongest when we work as a team. I’m not really angry at Gena, Jake. I’m angry at
him.
”

Jake smiled at her, reaching out to tuck a strand of fiery red hair behind her hair. “You know, if you weren’t such high maintenance and I wasn’t so completely head over heels for Gena, Devlin would be facing some major competition.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “Jake, go sweet talk Gena. She might actually believe your lines, because I sure as hell don’t. Now get going. I have a Glock to keep me company and I’m not afraid to use it. Go talk to Gena and make up. I’ll be fine.”

Jake slid from the bench, turning to face her. Placing his hands on each side of the bench, he moved closer to her until his face was barely inches from hers. Speaking slowly, he said, “Promise me, you won’t leave this apartment. If I leave, you lock the door behind you and you don’t let anyone in. And I mean no one. You don’t open the door, not even for Ben or Jesse. You keep your ass here where it’s safe and you kept your gun near you at all times.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, grinning when Jake scowled at her. “Carovella, I mean it. You want me to go talk to Gena then I will, but I won’t if you don’t promise to obey me. And I’m not talking about agreeing, and then doing whatever the hell you want. I mean your promise that you won’t leave this apartment, not even if the roof is falling down about you and it is on fire. You keep your ass inside. Are we clear?”

Stephanie’s grin widened. “Has anyone told you how hot you are when you’re angry?” she teased, watching his eyes narrow dangerously. “I’m not a complete idiot. I promise I will stay inside. I won’t answer the door to anyone and I’ll keep my Glock beside me at all times. Now go see Gena and talk to her.”

Jake nodded reluctantly, torn between staying to protect Stephanie and seeing if Gena was okay. Stephanie sensed his reluctance and shoved his shoulder playfully. “Jake, I’ll be okay here alone,” she said softly. He nodded curtly, not moving. Smiling playfully, she added, “Besides, I want time to snoop. Jase isn’t here watching me like a hawk which gives me time to explore his apartment and find out all his dirty little secrets.”

Jake groaned, pressing his forehead against Stephanie’s. “Devlin will kill me for this.”

Stephanie grinned, seeing the decision already in his eyes. “Maybe so, but he’ll get over it. Now go to Gena.”

***

Jase lifted his head from where it was resting on his arm when a hand hesitantly touched him and a moan escaped from Cynthia’s lips.

He grasped her hand in his, brushing his lips against it. “You’re awake,” he said quietly, clearing his throat. “You’re finally awake.”

“Where am I?” Cynthia rasped, wincing in pain as she lifted her hand to touch her face.

“You’re in the hospital. Cyn, you were found off Highway 5 and brought straight here,” Jase said, his eyes shining with emotion. Holding her hand tightly, he added throatily, “I thought I’d lost you, Cyn. God, if you’d died, I would never have forgiven myself.”