Obsession 3 (14 page)

“Your feast awaits you,” Secret said to Lucky.

Lucky picked up the remote, turned the television off, and then went and joined Secret at the table. “Damn, you showed out,” Lucky said. “Roast, mac and cheese, greens, corn muffins, sweet potatoes. Is it Thanksgiving already? This is better than me taking you out to dinner.”

Lucky had called Secret a couple days ago and invited her out to dinner. Secret hadn't called him since their little tiff in the grocery store, so he'd decided to make the first move. Secret declined. She didn't really want to take Dina out in the evening to her babysitter. It was bad enough Dina was away from her all day while she worked. The last thing Secret wanted to do was dump her off back to the babysitter's that evening.

Knowing she had to start moving things along with her and Lucky's connection, Secret didn't want to pass up the opportunity to spend time with him, so she opted to cook dinner for him at her place instead. He'd gladly accepted, so now here the two sat breaking bread together.

“This looks good as hell,” Lucky said about the spread on the table.

“Let's hope you think it tastes as good as it looks.” Secret said grace and the two began to dig in.

“Ray was right,” Lucky said. “This is delicious.”

“Thank you,” Secret said not sensing any type of sarcasm from Lucky at the mention of Ray's name.

The two finished off their meals and sat at the table full and satisfied.

“You want dessert?” Secret asked Lucky.

“What you made dessert too? What is it?”

“It's a cherry pie, but I cheated. It's from the frozen section at my store.”

Lucky laughed.

“But it's still good,” Secret said.

Lucky looked Secret up and down. “Mmmm, I bet it is still good.” He licked his lips.

Secret wriggled in her seat a little bit, blushing.

“You look good tonight.”

“Thank you.” Secret smiled.

“You can't even tell you just had a baby.”

“Well, the baby is four months old, so technically I didn't just have a baby.”

“Yeah, but chick's kids be twelve and they still be talking about they carrying baby weight.”

Secret laughed.

“I'm serious.” Lucky laughed as well. “But you do look good though, ma.”

“Thank you,” Secret said.

“The food tasted as good as it looked, so I'm wondering if the same goes for you.”

“Huh? What?” Secret said in a coy manner.

Lucky got up from the table and walked over to Secret. “Girl, let's stop playing games. Clearly we still have a connection.”

“And what makes you so sure of that?” Secret asked.

“I wouldn't be here right now if we didn't.”

“You think?” Secret asked.

“I know. If I don't know anything else about you, I know you don't play games. It ain't in you. You keep it one hunnid, which is what always turned me on about you. And as you can see, I'm turned on now.” Lucky's eyes roamed down to his manhood that was practically bulging out of his pants.

Secret caught herself staring at it, reminiscing on how good Lucky used to make her feel.
No, no, no,
she scolded herself.
This assignment does not have to include sex
.

Sure she had to form a relationship with Lucky, but Detective Davis never said it had to be sexual. Secret's mind was telling her no, but her body was damn sure telling her yes.

Lucky extended his hand. Still torn in her own thoughts, Secret just stared at it for a minute.

Seeing the contemplation written all over her face Lucky said, “I'll never hurt you again, Secret. Anything I do from this point on will only make you feel good. I promise you it won't hurt.”

Secret couldn't resist one second longer. It had been so long since she'd been made to feel good. Lucky didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve her body. She knew that deep inside. Not after the way he'd played her. But for just once in her life Secret wanted to be selfish. She wanted to make this all about her and her needs. Yeah, Lucky might get his off as well, but she was damn sure going to get hers.

Secret slowly placed her hand into Lucky's. He smiled and pulled her up to him. He slowly led her up to her bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Secret lay across the bed as Lucky slowly began to undress her. He removed her flip-flops first, then slid her panties and pants down. It felt like déjà vu. Not too long ago it was Ray who had been doing this exact same thing to Secret.

Ironically, Lucky had finished off the meal Secret had started with Ray. Now Lucky was about to finish off what Ray had started with Secret.

“Damn, you wet as hell down there,” Lucky said, staring down at Secret as he began to undo his pants. “I can see the juices flowing already.”

There was no telling whether it was freshly squeezed juice, or the juices Ray had already gotten to flow earlier. Nonetheless, the wetness drenched Lucky's fingers when he began plunging them inside Secret.

She crooned and grooved her hips as Lucky played inside her sugar walls. He got harder by the moment watching her lie there with her eyes closed taking in his fingers.

“Damn, I got to get in that pussy,” he said, taking his hands and spreading Secret's legs apart. The two were naked from the bottom down, still had on their shirts. They were both so heated that there was no more time for foreplay or for removing the remainder of their clothing. Lucky placed the tip of his penis inside Secret. He was confused when she pulled away from him. “What?” he asked.

“Hello, condom.”

“You serious right now?”

“I just had a baby. My stuff if like fertilized ground right now. I'm liable to have twins if I get pregnant,” Secret argued.

“Please just the tip. Please, Secret.” Lucky began to kiss Secret. “Please.” He managed to use his hand to maneuver his penis back to Secret's wet pussy lips. “Please, baby, please.” He kissed Secret and pumped the tip of himself in and out of Secret.

“Lucky, no,” she moaned loving the way just that tip of Lucky felt inside of her.

“Come on, you know this shit feels good. You know you miss this dick,” Lucky coaxed as he slipped more and more of himself inside her.

At first Secret subconsciously began to throw her hips back and forth, taking more and more of Lucky in and loving every inch of it. But then upon him thrusting his entire vessel in her, her eyes opened wide. Not just her two eyes, but her mind's eye. What was she thinking? As bad as she wouldn't mind experiencing an orgasm right about now, no way should it be with Lucky. She forced herself to replay in her mind him allowing her to be handcuffed and thrown into the back of a police car while eight months pregnant. He drove off and left both her and her baby for dead. No way was he about to bust one off up in her.

“No, we can't,” Secret said as Lucky thrust in and out of her.

He was so caught up in the feeling of being inside of her, he continued his strokes. His ears were tuned in to the sound of him dipping in and out of Secret's wetness. “I'm 'bout to come,” Lucky moaned.

Finally Secret placed her hands on his chest and in one powerful thrust, pushed him off of her.

“Secret, what the fuck,” Lucky said right on the verge of coming. He grabbed himself and began to jack off as cum squirted on Secret. “Fuck,” he said, throwing his head back, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he continued to jack off.

Secret jumped out of the way, got up, and ran into the bathroom. She placed her hands on the sink and just stood there breathing heavily. Her eyes caught the stains on her shirt from Lucky's fluid. She gagged. She felt so dirty, so nasty. She put her hands behind her head and attempted to unzip the shirt's zipper that went from her neck slightly down her back. She got it somewhat but then it got stuck. She struggled and fought with it until she ended up ripping the shirt off.

Tears flowed down her eyes as she turned on the shower water. She didn't even wait for the water to warm up. She stood in the shower and allowed the cold pellets to hit her skin. She felt the same way she felt after having sex for the first time with that stranger, who she now knew to be Major Pain.

Secret grabbed the soap and began washing up. She had a mental pep talk with herself at the same time. She was not going to beat herself up about this. She was going to go back out there, apologize to Lucky, and get her head back in the game. After all, this was just a game.

Secret came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. She stopped and peeked in on Dina to make sure she was still sleeping sound. She then walked into her bedroom where she found Lucky sitting on the edge of her bed, his elbows on his knees and his hands resting in his head. She pushed the bedroom door closed behind her and it creaked. Surely he'd heard her enter the room and could feel her presence, but still, he never looked up.

After letting out a deep breath, Secret went and sat next to Lucky. She just sat there twisting her lips for a second, trying to think of what to say. Finally Lucky slightly turned his head, still buried in his hands and looked at her with one eye.

“What's up?” Lucky asked.

“You,” Secret replied.

He looked down between his legs. “Not anymore.”

“Yeah, about that.”

“Naw, it's all good, ma. You don't have to explain nothing to me. That's your body. No means no, right?”

Secret couldn't tell if he was being serious or a smart ass. She didn't reply.

“Well, let me go get cleaned up and get out of here.” Lucky stood. “Can I use your bathroom?”

Secret looked up at him. “Lucky, you don't have to ask me if you can use my bathroom. You're not some stranger.”

“Oh, for real? 'Cause I couldn't tell just a minute ago. You pushed me away like I was a stranger.”

“I'm sorry about that. I was tripping,” Secret said.

“Tripping or teasing?”

“You know I'm not that girl.”

“Really I don't, because you let a nigga get all up in there and then cut him off right when he 'bout to nut.” Lucky rolled his eyes and a look of embarrassment covered his face. “Man, you know how long it's been since I had to jack off? Then to do it in front of a female.” He shook his head.

“You mean on a female.” Secret was hoping her little comment softened Lucky up.

He looked at her and cracked a smile. “Yeah, that shit was kind of nice.”

Secret laughed. “You so nasty.” Lucky laughed a little too and then both their laughter died down. “I'm sorry I freaked out like that. It's just that it's been awhile. And having Dina was rough. I can't imagine getting pregnant and have to go through all that by myself again.”

Lucky cut her off. “But you wouldn't be by yourself. I'm here.”

“But how can I trust that, Lucky? My mom threw me away. My dad didn't want me. You threw me away and my best friend has obviously already learned the street code of money over bitches because she's not around. I can't set myself up for that again. It's sad, but a baby who can't even walk or talk is all I trust wholeheartedly right now.”

Lucky took in her words. “I feel you on that.”

“Do you really?” Secret asked. “You get where I'm coming from?”

“Yeah.” Lucky exhaled. “I still don't know why you ain't let a nigga come up in there though. I was only like this much from coming.” He used his index finger and thumb to express how close he was.

Secret laughed and stood up. “Yeah, I was too. But at least you got yours.” And Secret wasn't joking when it came to that. For the second time tonight she'd been on the verge of coming with no such luck.

Lucky brushed a loose piece of hair down on top of Secret's head. “You really are special.”

“And you really make me feel special.”

The two stared into each other's eyes.

“Let me go get cleaned up before I find myself jacking off again,” Lucky said. He turned to walk away.

Secret grabbed his hand. “Can I go with you?”

Lucky looked at her with squinted eyes. “What? You serious?”

“I just want to be where you are right now. That's all,” she told him. “I need you, Lucky. I want things to be right with us again no matter how long it takes. I just hope you're willing to wait.”

After staring at Secret for a moment, Lucky nodded and pulled Secret into the bathroom with him. While Lucky showered, Secret sat outside the shower talking to Lucky, catching up.

He pressed his luck when he stuck his head out of the shower and asked, “Will you wash my back for me?”

Secret smiled mischievously but obliged. While Lucky finished up in the bathroom, Secret went downstairs and fixed them each a slice of pie with whipped cream. When Lucky exited the bathroom she was coming up the steps with dessert in hand.

“For me?” Lucky asked.

“All for you,” Secret replied, then nodded for him to go to her bedroom.

Lucky sat down on Secret's bed. She sat next to him and placed their dessert on her nightstand table. Taking a forkful of pie, she placed it at Lucky's mouth.

“Open wide,” Secret ordered him.

Lucky eyeballed Secret in a playful suspicious way. He did as he was told and opened wide. He inhaled the dessert. “Mmmmm.”

“Is it good to you?” Secret asked seductively.

Lucky bust out laughing. He covered his mouth so that he wouldn't spit out his food.

“What is so funny?” Secret didn't know whether to be offended. She wasn't sure if Lucky was laughing at her trying to be seductive.

“You are what's funny,” Lucky replied. “I mean, why you teasing a brother? What's really going on?”

“I didn't mean to tease you. I wanted it just as much as you did. But, Lucky, I'm not about to get pregnant again. It's hard enough to take care of Dina. I can't imagine trying to take care of two kids.” Secret looked down sadly.

Lucky began to feel sorry for Secret and her struggle. He knew so many mothers trying to raise their children alone. He saw some of the ends they would go to in order to feed their children. He was no stranger to that. He thought back to the Secret he'd met that day at the clinic. She was so sweet and special, and different. He hated to see her now a statistic. But it happened to the best of them.

“I told you that if ever you need anything—” Lucky started until Secret cut him off.

Secret placed her index finger on Lucky's lips to silence him. “Shhh. I don't want to talk about all that now.” She set the pie down then looked into Lucky's eyes. She leaned in and began kissing him.

At first Lucky just allowed her to kiss him, then he participated in the kiss. The next thing he knew, Secret's hand was cupping his manhood.

“Oh no.” He'd pulled out of the kiss and pushed her hand off of him. “You ain't about to get me all worked up again. I done already had to jack off once.” Lucky went to get up.

Secret quickly jumped in front of him and pushed him back down. “Oh, you won't have to jack off.”

The next thing Lucky knew, it wasn't just Secret's hand stroking his penis, but her mouth was wrapped around it.

“Damn, girl,” he moaned as he fell back on the bed and allowed her to please him orally.

Secret sucked, stroked, licked, played with his balls; she did everything she could think of to make him feel good and to get him to hurry up and come. Since he'd already come once, she knew it was going to take him longer to come a second time. But she had to do what she had to do. She did not want Lucky leaving her home unsatisfied with an excuse not to return. She couldn't risk him thinking she was just playing games with him and decide not to come around anymore. It wasn't a chance she was trying to take. She didn't know how serious Detective Davis was about throwing her back in jail and putting Dina into the system if she didn't fulfill her end of the bargain. She'd taken risks with her own life in the past. But she refused to take risks when it came to her daughter's. So if this is what she had to do, then so be it.

“Mmmm,” Secret moaned as her mouth bobbed up and down on Lucky's manhood while she massaged his balls. The faster she did it, the louder he moaned.

“I'm 'bout to come. I'm 'bout to . . .” Lucky arched up and began to climax.

Secret had quickly removed her mouth and cupped her hands around Lucky's jerking penis. She stroked his entire vessel with both hands, allowing him to shoot off in her hands. She cupped his fluids in her hand, and once he'd rested his body back down on her bed, she knew he was finished coming. She stood up and went into the bathroom and washed her hands. She turned the water off and before drying them, she looked at herself in the mirror.

She threw her hand over her mouth, suffocating the cry she really wanted to let out. She looked down into the sink as the last drop of water scurried down the drain. This became a symbolic moment for Secret. The last drop of water had flowed and was gone, as it should be when it came to her tears. It was time for her to grow up, to stop crying like a baby and do whatever the fuck she had to do in order to protect her baby. It was time to take off the diaper and put on the big girl panties. Period, point blank. There wasn't going to be too much more of this dick sucking and carrying on. And she wasn't going to feel bad about the fact that she'd just done it.

Those had been Shawndiece's words. Well now they were Secret's and at the moment she vowed she would take them to heart.

This time there was no shame there. No guilt. It was like she wasn't even looking at herself anymore. This was a different girl from the helpless single mom caught up in a situation she'd wished she'd never gotten herself into. This was a single mom willing to do whatever she had to do to survive and fix the situations she'd gotten herself into. She'd made a lot of bad choices for all the wrong reasons. And deep in her soul she knew she was still making bad choices. But this time it was for all the right reasons.