Obsession 3 (3 page)

“She's so beautiful,” Secret said, using her hand to push the button to adjust the bed upright. She wanted to get as good of a look as she could of her newborn baby who was being rolled into the room.

Her tiny self lay bundled in a pink blanket as she lay inside of the clear plastic mobile bassinette-type bed. The nurse rolled her to the left side of Secret's bed and parked the bassinette.

“She is a cutie,” said the nurse who had brought her up. She reached into the bed and lifted the baby out. She walked around to the other side of Secret. She placed her as much onto Secret's lap as she could without being on top of Secret herself. Because Secret was cuffed and couldn't hold the baby herself, the nurse held the tiny infant in position.

Secret's eyes filled with tears just staring at the life that had grown in her stomach for the last nine months. The baby just lay there sleeping like a little princess, like she didn't have a care in the world. But soon enough, this cruel world would try to eat the helpless thing alive and give her plenty to occupy her mind with. What pained Secret the most was that she wouldn't be there to fend for her.

With her motherly instincts, Secret went and reached for the child, only to be reminded that her hands were cuffed to the bedrails. She looked from one wrist to the next and then to the nurse.

“Someone is supposed to come take those off,” the nurse said. “I asked the officer who is posted outside of your door.”

Secret just shook her head. She couldn't believe the state was wasting money for a police officer to guard her door. She wasn't some serial killer or had connections to a mafia that could help her do a jail break. She was just a young teenage mother who wanted to hold her baby. She refused to waste these precious moments with her baby mad at the world. Instead she decided to take in every detail about her little one that she could with her eyes, while her body longed to reach out and pull her close.

“We always suggest mothers nurse their babies, even if it's just for the three days while they are in the hospital, but with your health emergency and . . .” She looked to the handcuffs. “Well, we've been feeding her Similac.”

“She's so beautiful,” was all Secret could say. Complimenting the baby might as well have been like complimenting herself, because the baby looked like the spitting image of Secret. She had all of her facial features. “Has she opened her eyes yet?” Secret asked the nurse.

“One or twice,” the nurse said.

Secret swallowed hard as a horrible thought flushed through her mind. The baby clearly had that Miller nose and Secret's lips. But what if . . . what if she had eyes like the man who helped make her? Secret would know his eyes anywhere. She knew them that day she ran into him outside of the Chinese restaurant at the strip mall. He'd stopped to open the door for her. He hadn't recognized her eyes at all. Good thing, because next he probably would have noticed her belly and possibly done the math. But what would he care? He was just some pervert who had paid to sleep with another man's daughter. Secret didn't take any chances though. She hustled away from that restaurant quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Her baby daddy and that whole night with him was something that Secret had long pushed to the back of her mind. Something she wanted to forget forever. But if this baby had eyes like his, she'd forever be reminded of him, of that night.

“Let me see,” the nurse said. She eyeballed Secret, examining her face. “Yep, she has eyes just like yours.” The nurse smiled. “She is your mini me all day long.”

Secret smiled, and cried, and thanked God in her head.

“I just want to hold her so bad.” Secret wriggled her hands hoping she could reach just a part of her baby.

The nurse positioned the baby so that her tiny head was by Secret's hand. Secret stroked her head full of black straight hair.

“You have to smell her,” the nurse said, lifting the baby to Secret's face. “There is nothing in the world like the smell of a baby, until they get bigger of course. Then you can't tell their stanky little behinds from the family pet.”

Both the nurse and Secret let out a chuckle. This was the first time Secret had laughed since she could remember.

Secret put her nose to her baby's cheek and inhaled. “Baby lotion,” she said. Her nostrils were filled with the smell of that pink baby lotion. She closed her eyes and inhaled another lovely whiff of her little one.

The nurse watched the longing on Secret's face to just cup her baby in her arms and pull her into the safety of her bosom. “Where are they with the key to unlock these handcuffs?” she mumbled. “I don't see why the officer out there can't do it. He's the one who put them on.”

“Ms. Miller, congratulations on the birth of your new baby.”

Secret's eyes opened at the sound of the deep male voice booming through the room. It caught Secret and the nurse off guard and startled the poor baby out of her sleep.

The nurse pulled the now whining baby to her chest.

Secret's eyes followed. “Is she okay?” She panicked at the sound of hearing her baby cry. She felt like a bad and useless mother not being able to take the baby in her arms to comfort her, to let her know that everything was going to be okay. That's what mothers were supposed to do, even though that's not what Yolanda had done when she found out Secret was young and pregnant and needed all the help she could get to raise the baby. But Secret was not her mother. She was going to be a better mother, the best mother she could be. But how could she do it in handcuffs? This motherhood thing was already off to a bad start in more ways than one.

The man, dressed in black slacks, a white dress shirt with a tie, and shiny black shoes, looked to the nurse. “Can you excuse myself and the patient please?” He pulled out a badge and flashed it. “Police business.”

This must have been who they were waiting for to remove the cuffs from Secret. “Please take these things off,” Secret pleaded with the officer.

“I will.” He paused for a second. “But like I just told the nurse here, I need to speak with you first.” He had more of an authoritative tone this time around when he said it.

The nurse shifted her eyes to Secret, to the baby, and then back to the man who had just entered the room. “Well, uh, of course.”

The nurse walked back around to the other side of the bed. She placed the baby back in its bassinette and looked to Secret. “I'll be right outside the door.” She glared up at the six feet six inch tall man. “Along with the other officer.” She said it in such a way to let Secret know that this man in the room had backup, and so did Secret.

The nurse exited, closing the door behind her.

“Ms. Miller, I've been meaning to get down there to the jail to visit with you, but you know how things go. You get busy. Life happens. You get caught up.” He let out a sinister chuckle. “Look at me preaching to the choir. I'm sure you already know quite a bit about getting caught up.”

Secret could tell this guy had an agenda, but she wasn't quite sure what he was getting at, yet. So she just listened. He was taking the scenic route, but he'd get to where he was going eventually. So she just stared at him, not replying. She was just along for the ride. The baby cooed, snatching both Secret's and the man's attention away from each other.

“Cute little baby you got there,” he complimented her. “Pink blanket so I'm assuming it's a girl.” He stared at the baby a little longer. “What's her name?”

Secret was stumped. She'd hoped for a boy and had only come up with a list of boy names. She hadn't thought to think of names for her new baby girl. Her entrance to the world had been so traumatic, that Secret, for a minute there, wasn't even sure if there would be a baby to name. She just wanted to make sure her precious seed was alive and well. She could name her later.

Already lying there in handcuffs, officially an inmate of the state of Michigan, Secret was in a good running for the worst mother of the year award. The fact that she hadn't even thought enough to name her child would have made her look even worse, so she said the first thing that rolled off of her tongue. “Dynasty.” She was kicking herself inside. Where in the hell had that name come from? “But I'm going to call her Dina.” She said it as if she'd had everything planned out all along.

“Dina. Cute. I was thinking it would be something more like Shaquanda or Qualeequa. You know how you people like to be fancy with names.” He laughed.

Secret didn't laugh. Was this white man throwing a dig at her race? The ride was getting bumpy, not that it was smooth to begin with. Secret was ready to get out of the car. “I'd like to hold my baby, sir.” Secret wriggled her wrists. “Can you remove these please?”

“Oh, absolutely. I'm getting to that.” He looked down at the baby. “I can see how desperately you want to hold your little one.” He nodded, still staring at the baby. “I know all about desperation. About wanting something, someone. Being just that close to them.” He held his index fingertip and thumb just centimeters from each other. “You almost have them.” He squinted his eyes as if the thing was so minute he could hardly see it. “And then bam!” He clapped his hands together. The baby jumped, but didn't cry out of her sleep. “They are no longer in your reach.” He looked at Secret.

Once again, Secret just listened.

“Your baby girl is right there. She's right within your reach. You can see her, but you can't get to her.” He shook his head. “Awful feeling, isn't it?”

Secret felt like she was riding around tied up in the back seat of a killer's car. She was ready to escape. “All I want is my baby.”

“I understand that.” He looked at her and sternly said, “And all I want is Lucky.”

Just hearing his name sent a heated wave through Secret's body. She didn't give a shit about Lucky, no more than he gave a shit about her the day he watched the police haul her eight-month-pregnant self to jail. “Look, Officer—”

“It's Detective, Detective Davis,” Flint's finest corrected Secret.

“Detective Davis,” Secret continued. “I haven't seen or heard from Lucky since I got arrested and brought to jail. I'm still in jail as you can see.” She yanked at the handcuffs. “So you have a better chance of getting Lucky than I do.”

“I hear what you're saying. Sure I can go find him on the streets, shoot the breeze with him, drink a forty ounce of Colt 45, maybe play a little one on one, but that's not where I want to meet up with him.” Detective Davis leaned down to Secret and seethed. “I want him exactly where he should be and where you shouldn't be: in jail.” He rose up and returned to his normal voice. “You know damn well those drugs the officers found in the back of your car that day belonged to that lowlife son of a bitch. Why you insisted on taking the fall for him, I'll never know. And you don't have to tell me either. After all, the only person you really owe an explanation to is that little girl right there.”

Both Detective Davis and Secret were staring at the sleeping baby.

“Damn shame,” Detective Davis said, shaking his head. “I see women day in and day out putting men before their own children.”

“I would never do that,” Secret said in her defense.

“You've been doing it for the past month,” he spat. He looked at Secret with disgust. “You'd rather your baby be born in a nasty, roach-and-rodent-infested prison than to see your little boyfriend carted off to jail.”

“Dina wasn't born in no jail.” The name now seemed to fit the little girl. It sounded fitting, like Secret had planned on naming her that all along.

“Might as well have been. After all, jail might have been better than what's in store for her.”

The detective's last comment had Secret's interest piqued. What did he know about where her baby was going to end up? “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. You're from the streets. You know what goes on out there. You know what happens to young girls who do have a mother to help guide them through life, so you can imagine what will happen to one who doesn't.”

That detective might as well have taken out his gun that was in his holster around his waist and shot her in the heart. That's what his words had done anyhow: pierced Secret right in the largest muscle in her body. Secret began to conceive all the worst-case scenarios that could occur in little Dina's life. Rape, molestation, drugs, stripping, abuse, and so much more. What had she been thinking by keeping her baby in the first place? Abortion would have been a quick and easy death versus a long-suffering one out here in this coldblooded world.

But Secret never imagined in a million years this chapter would be a part of her life's book. She was supposed to be a freshman at The Ohio State University living the life of a typical college kid. She should have been cramming for tests during the week and going to parties on the weekend. Maybe even pledging a sorority. But this right here, being handcuffed to a bed after having delivered a baby was not supposed to be part of the plan, ever.

“Makes you sick just thinking about it, doesn't it,” Detective Davis said.

He was right; it made Secret sick to her stomach as she felt fluids come up out of her throat. Before she had enough time to ask the detective to hand her the trashcan or the tray hospitals give patients just in case they get sick, her mouth was full of vomit. She couldn't hold the burning liquid in her mouth any longer as she spit it out all over herself.

The detective just stared at her unfazed. Surely he'd seen worse than throw up in his line of work.

“Can you get me something to clean up with, get the nurse or something?” Secret asked.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he said. He took a step toward the bathroom but then stopped in his tracks. He turned back to Secret. “Why don't I just let you do it when I uncuff you?”

Secret straightened up, excited by his words. She wanted her hands free. She knew she wouldn't be altogether free in the sense that she was legally a prisoner, but for now just having use of her arms would suffice. Then not only would she be able to clean her own self up, but she'd be able to hold her daughter, also.

The detective walked over to Secret's side and pulled out some keys, presuming the keys to the handcuffs. He fiddled around with them for a few seconds. Secret wanted to jump up off that bed and clobber him upside his head because he was taking so long.

“Ah, here it is,” he finally exclaimed and not a moment too soon for Secret. He placed his index and thumb on a single key, started to move his hand toward Secret but then stopped.

Secret's eyes were glued to his hand the entire time. When it remained idle in the air for a few seconds, Secret finally looked up at the detective. He was staring down at the key.

“What? What's the matter?” Secret asked.

“I almost forgot. This is what you wanted, for me to free you. Right?”

Secret nodded. She didn't know what kind of game this cop was playing, but it was going to make her go crazy.

“But I don't have what I want, which is Lucky.”

Secret exhaled and threw her body back against the bed. “I already told you, I don't know where Lucky is. I haven't heard from him since the day I got thrown in jail. And if you all wanted him so bad, why didn't you take him the day you took me?”

“We would have if your dumb ass would have just told the cops who that dope belonged to,” the detective snapped.

Secret was shocked and confused by the way he was coming at her. She was not Lucky's keeper. As a matter of fact, she had been his kept woman.

“Like I said, I know where he's at. That's not the problem. What I want is Lucky thrown in jail for the rest of his life.” The detective tried to bring it down a notch because he was starting to get real intense. “I need someone who knows what a creep he is and hates him just as much as I do to hand him over to me on a silver platter.”

“I do hate Lucky for what he's done to me, for what he's done to her.” She nodded to Dina. “My baby was almost born in a jail cell, a jail cell that I'm going back to; and God only knows where she's going. And there is nothing that I can do about it.” Secret was furious. Tears of anger and helplessness rolled down her face.

“But there is something you can do about it. You can get out of here and be with your baby and take care of her. Can't you see that's what I've been in here trying to tell you?” He threw his hands up as if to suggest this was all a piece of cake.

Secret was exhausted. How many times did she have to tell him she had no connections to Lucky? “Look, Detective . . .” There was so much going on in Secret's mind that she'd forgotten his name just that quickly.

“Davis,” he finished for her.

“Detective Davis, what exactly is it you think I can do to help you?”

His lips slowly formed into a sinister smile. “Play Lucky the same way you played him the first time; only this time finish the job and come out on top.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” Secret was now even more confused than ever.

“Let me just break this down to you, Miss Miller. We've been watching Lucky for some months now. That means we've been watching you. We needed to get your story, figure out who you were. It didn't take long for us to realize that you were harmless. You were just a kid fresh out of high school who got herself knocked up, didn't know who the father was so you slept with the first guy who you could pin the crime on.” Detective Davis raised an eyebrow, signaling Secret to correct him if he'd told a lie.

Secret remained silent, so the detective continued. “You couldn't even do that though. No, your heart was too good, so you told him the truth knowing that you were risking losing everything: the place Lucky was helping you live in by paying bills, buying furniture, the car, the shopping sprees, fancy purses, red bottoms, and whatever else you gold diggers like scooping up into your buckets.”

Secret glared at the detective.

“Oh, not you.” He put his hands up in defense. “I'm talking about the other gold diggers, the real ones. You know, like your friend Shawndiece.”

“Shawndiece?” Secret was shocked to hear him bring up Shawndiece's name, but then she realized that if they'd been watching Lucky, they'd been watching her, and if they were watching her, surely they'd been watching Shawndiece, the only other person she spent time with outside of Lucky.

“Yeah, now that girl could teach you a thing or two about hustling a fella.” He chuckled.

Secret knew he was telling the truth. Shawndiece was the one who had coached her on how to pull the wool over on Lucky's eyes. And the detective was right. Secret could have pulled it off if she was really built that way. Shawndiece, on the other hand, was born that way.

“Yeah, that best friend of yours is something else indeed.” He shook his head then focused back on Secret. “But not you. You're a good girl.” He paused before saying, “So for the life of me I can't figure out how you got caught up with the worst piece of shit walking the streets of Flint, Michigan.”

Secret closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
Me either,
she said to herself in her mind.
Me either.

“But I'm offering you a chance to walk out of here with your baby a free woman. All you have to do is everything I tell you to do.”

Secret raised an eyebrow. “Which is what?”

Detective Davis rubbed his hands together as if he was about to sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner feast. “Now here comes the tricky part, but I think you can pull it off. This time it's not just about you.”

“It was never just about me,” Secret said. “Every choice I've made these last few months have all been about my baby.”

“Clearly, with the predicament you're currently in, I could beg to differ, but I won't,” Detective Davis said. “But anyhow, now it's a matter of life and death that your every decision, your every move, be about that baby.” He pointed to Dina. “You living a good part of your life in jail, while your baby is subjected to death out here on the streets, I say this decision trumps all the others, wouldn't you?” The detective smiled. He looked to be enjoying having Secret between a rock and a hard place way too much.

Tired of the game of Ping-Pong that seemed to be never ending, Secret decided to cut to the chase. “Detective Davis, just tell me exactly what you want me to do.”

The detective licked his lips as if he'd just demolished the entire meal, grinned at Secret, and said, “I thought you'd never ask.”