October song (19 page)

“Denki.” She was glad she could please

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him this way. “Wouldja care to hear an other?”

He had nodded and smiled, his eyes all a-twinkle with love for her.

After the evening meal the following Sunday, Levi arrived with his shiny black courting buggy and his fastest steed. “Someone’s here to see our Lyddie,” Caleb, her fourteen-year-old brother, said,

peering out the window.

Our Lyddie .

She folded her shawl over her arm, standing in the front room, waiting there with Aunt Sarah. “Pray for me while I’m gone,” she whispered to her aunt.

“Let me give you some advice,” Aunt Sarah said. “Talk tonight … don’t kiss so much.”

“Aw, now!” Lyddie looked up into her aunt’s face and had to chuckle. Howdidshe know such things?

“Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts.” Aunt Sarah’s words were good and right. Lyddie knew they were.

“You’re sayin’ to me what Mamma would’ve, prob’ly.” And with that, she reached up to Aunt Sarah and planted a little kiss on her soft cheek.

“Have a good time, Lyddie.”

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“Denki . . I will.” With that, she heard Levi knocking at the back door, saw Caleb and Josiah scurrying out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“Boys!” Uncle Bryan called to them, fast on their heels.

She had to smile, making her way into the suddenly deserted kitchen. Such a family she had. Ach, how she loved them, each one.

Opening the door, she saw Levi standing before her, looking ever so striking in his Sunday-go-to-meetin’ trousers, long-sleeved shirt, and suspenders. He hadn’t worn his hat this evening, and she could see how shimmering clean his cropped hair was, his ears poking out from under the layer. “Hullo, Lyddie.”

“Levi… gut to see ya.” She went to his outstretched arms.

“Ready, then?” he asked, smiling down at her.

“Jah.”

The evening was turning a bit chilly as he helped her into the left side of the open carriage. “Didja bring along a sweater

,,or—

“My shawl.” Lyddie held it up a bit, speaking out of turn. Thinking that she ought to have waited for Levi to finish, she

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felt a twinge of guilt. Mamma had taught, by her own example, to be slow to speak, offering patience, humility, and submis sion when it came to the most important man in her life. Dat was certainly a godly man, and Mamma’s respect and compli ance came easily.

Levi was also a devout young man, his mind set on spiritual goals. Most of the time, at least. She also knew that she was a distraction, so fond he was of her.

The evening sky was full up with shades

of color ink blue, hues of pink and yellow as the horse pulled the carriage

down the lane and out onto the road. The sound ofclip-cloppinginterrupted the qui etude, but the rhythm of the horse’s hooves on the pavement made for a nice, comfort able backdrop.

They heard other sounds in the twilight

katydids, crickets, and whippoorwills. And some courting buggies were out on the roads by now, but not many. Most cou ples would’ve gone to one or more singings by this hour. After the singing in the house and activities in the barn, they’d get back in their buggies and ride round with their beaus till the wee hours, makin’ some of the girls’ mammas fret.

“Wanna go for a long ride?” Levi asked.

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Aunt Sarah had encouraged her to talk, so a long ride was a gut idea. “Jah, that’s fine.” The jitters returned at the thought of opening her heart wide to the handsome fella at her side.

“Down to Strasburg?” he asked.

“That’s a long ways.” She’d gone with Aunt Sarah in the car to Strasburg several times in the past month, but the ride by horse and carriage was at least an hour long.

Levi slipped one arm around her, holding the reins with the other. “We’ve got all night,” he said.

She didn’t argue with him. But they didn’t haveallnight. Uncle Bryan was expecting her home before midnight.“Wellbefore midnight,” her uncle had said, and Lyddie quickly agreed.

Levi had plenty on his mind, but not much of it had to do with talking. “Come here closer to me,liebdear,” he said. “I’ve missed ya so.” This he whispered in her ear, sending shivers up and down her back.

Oh, how she wanted to snuggle with him, let him kiss her some, but too many loose ends dangled in her mind. And once he started with the smoochin’, well, she knew how hard it would be to think any

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thing but romantic thoughts.

“Levi I ” She paused. “Wouldja mind too awful much if we talked a bit?”

she asked him, sitting up straight.

“Well, sure, Lyddie.”

She breathed deeply, staring at the line of maple trees silhouetting the sky up ahead. Could she speak the things on her heart? Dared she?

“Lyddie, dearest, what is it?” He’d turned to face her now, both arms drawing her near, the reins hanging unattended.

She knew if she relaxed in his arms, let his lips find hers, another courting night might pass, and the things she’d already discussed with both Fannie and Aunt Sarah would fall by the wayside. Important things. After all, their publishing Sunday, when church members and all the commu nity would formally hear of their wedding plans, was fast approaching. She couldn’t wait much longer to declare her fears to her beloved. Shemustnot.

“Have you ever wondered what would happen if…” Her words sounded peculiar to her own ears, so she stopped.

“Ifwhatwould happen?” he asked, ears tuned to her every breath.

“You remember when my father was killed in the farming accident?”

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Levi nodded. “Jah. My uncle and cousin were the first to find him in the field.”

“Didia ever think that my mamma might’ve died of a broken heart?” She sat back against the seat, somewhat spent at her own question.

“Wouldn’t be surprised at that.” His voice was a thin thread in the night. “Everyone knew how much your parents loved each other.”

“Everyone?” She was surprised at his re sponse.

“Jah, my mamma and aunts kept talking ‘bout the ‘great love’ the Cottrells had for each other. And how awful sad it was.” He took her hand and held it against his own heart. “Your mother was ever so loyal to her first and only love. She never even thought of remarrying. ” He put her hand to his face and kissed it lightly. “That’s the kind of love you and I will have after a gut many years together, Lyddie dear.”

“Jah, I want that, too,” she whispered, nearly choking on her words. “But what if Mammadidn’tdie of a broken heart what if she had a bad heart because it runs in the family?”

“What’re you sayin’?”

She swallowed hard, forcing back the

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lump in her throat. “Well, I I would just hate to see you suffer and grieve so, if . if I was to die early, like Mamma.”

He was silent for a time, then “Lyddie,noneof us knows what the morrow holds. For some folk, God sees fit to take them home long before the rest of us might think necessary. But our Lord’s will is over and above all. We hafta trust in that.”

She knew what he said was true. Made her wonder if he’d already pondered the issue. “I’d hate to cause you that sort of pain, if I left you a young widower.., and our children without a mamma.”

“You’re thinkin’ of your own siblings now, aren’t you?”

“Jah.” Mostly she was thinking of little Hannah.

“I’m glad you brought this up.” He re leased her hand and cupped her chin in both his hands. “We’ll lean hard on the Lord just as your parents did.”

“I must submit my fears to the Lord.” “We’ll cherish every minute wedohave together, jah?” He kissed her then, a sweet kiss filled with promise. He might’ve agreed with her that, without a doubt, she was a worrywart. Instead, he talked of the many relatives and friends he planned to

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have help on their wedding day — parking buggies and watering and feeding the driving horses. His enthusiasm calmed her a bit, pulling her into lively conversation.

An hour or so later they had planned ev erything, from which preacher might lead the first phase of the worship service, to who would preach the main sermon, and which of Lyddie’s mother’s friends was to oversee the cooking for the day. A celebra tion meal, to be sure, consisting of roast duck and chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and dressing, coleslaw, cold ham, raw and cooked celery, prunes, pickles, peaches, bread and butter, jams, cherry pie, tea, cookies, and an abundance of cakes.

“Oh, Lyddie, just think what a day it’ll be!” Levi turned to pick up the reins, clicking his tongue to get the mare trottin’ a bit faster.

She leaned her head on her beloved’s shoulder, just as excited, yet wondering how she could ever look into the eyes of her young siblings, ‘specially Hannah’s, leaving them totally in the care of their English aunt and uncle.

These things she would not delve into just now. Enough was enough for one night. She would enjoy the rest of the ride, hope that Levi might keep talking. “Wanna

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ride past o1’ Mathias Byler’s place?” he asked. “Hear his serenade?”

She said she’d like that. Mathias always sat out on his front porch, playin’ his harmonica for the courting couples as they rode by.

“Won’t be but a minute now, and we’ll have us a perry tune,” Levi said, grinning at her as the moon slipped across the sky.

“My uncle wants me to be home before midnight,” she whispered.

He turned and puckered his lips comically.

“You sure ‘bout that?”

“Ever so sure.”

“I’ll see to it, then,” he said more earnestly.

Soon they caught the sound of music floating out over the night to them from Mathias Byler’s long porch. The tune was sweet, almost sad.

“Why do ya think he makes music, rain or shine?” she asked softly, wondering.

“He’s lonely, prob’ly likes to encourage courtin’ couples to drive by,” replied Levi.

“Lonely for his wife?” The pain touched her heart anew.

“After all these years . .”

They passed a courting buggy heading in the opposite direction. “Hullo, Levi and

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Lydia!” the driver called to them. “Who’s that?” she asked Levi.

“My cousin Joshua and hisAldigirl friend. They’re getting published next Sunday.”

“Where’re they headed, do you think?”

“For some ice cream. Wanna turn round and join them?”

She shivered at the thought of ice cream. “Do you?”

“Why not?” It was clear Levi wanted to, so she nodded, almost relieved for this pleasant distraction, in spite of how cold the ice cream would be on an autumn eve ning. This way she wouldn’t be tempted to bring up more concerns over leaving four siblings behind. Levi would be callin’ her a worrier for sure, if she did.

Aunt Sarah wasn’t at all pushy the fol lowing day. Never asked a single question ‘bout Lyddie’s evening with Levi. The two women were hanging out Monday’s wash on the line before Lyddie had to hurry off to the Amish schoolhouse to start up the wood stove. As a good teacher, she wanted to take the chill off the room before the children arrived.

At school Hannah caused somewhat of a disturbance during morning lessons. Not

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that the little girl was disobedient. Wasn’t that at all. Hannah, with long brown braids wrapped round her head, sniffled continuously, annoyingly so, as if she suf fered a terrible head cold or had been crying. Lyddie guessed the latter. Hannah truly had not been herself for weeks now. But crying in school?

She motioned for Hannah to come to her desk. “Are you feelin’ awful sad today?” she whispered.

Hannah nodded her head up and down. “Jah, ever so much.”

Lyddie put her arm around her sister. Not only was Hannah going to miss her at home, but the wee one was losing her big sister as a teacher, too. “Didja finish your ABC’s?” she asked gently.

“I wrote them nice and straight.”

Lyddie had an idea. “When recess comes, why don’t you stay inside and help me?”

The girl’s face brightened at the sugges tion. “Jah, I’ll help you, Lyddie.”

“Remember to call me ‘Teacher’ at school, all right?”

“Jah, Teacher,” Hannah said, going back to her desk to sit down, a smile all over her face.

After lunch, when the last student left

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the schoolhouse to go outdoors, Lyddie scooted a chair uptoher desk for her sister. “Just think, Hannah, you can come and visit your new brother, Levi, and me

anytime after we’re married. Won’t

that be fun?”

Hannah’s eyes got ever so wide just then. “Levi’s gonna bemybrother?”

“Jah.” This was obviously something her sister hadn’t thought of, that Levi King was to become a relative ofhers.So Lyddie told Hannah what that would mean. “We’ll be a bigger family, that’s all. And we’ll get together on Sundays for dinner and on holidays, too. You’ll see.” She paused. I’ll still help you with your readin’ and writin’, just not here at school.”

“Oh.” Hannah’s mouth was still droopy.

“You won’t be losin’ me as your sister;

you’ll be getting another brother.”

“Does Caleb know ‘bout this?”

Lyddie had to laugh a little. “Both Caleb and Josiah are mighty glad to have a third boy join the Cottrell family.” She went on to explain that the girls would be outnumbered by one.

“But maybe not for long,” Hannah said. “If Uncle Bryan and Aunt Sarah have a baby girl someday, then we’ll havethreegirls.”

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“That’s right!” She gave Hannah a big hug.

When she looked up she saw Levi standing at the door of the schoolhouse. Reluctantly, she left Hannah, whose eyes weren’t nearly so puffy and red now. “I’ll be right back,” she said, walking toward her darling.

Standing on the sagging white porch, she told Levi she daren’t leave Hannah alone too long.

“Why… what’s wrong?” he asked, concern written on his face.

She didn’t want to open up the topic for discussion. Not here, not where she was in charge of a whole schoolyard full of youngsters, her own sister in most need of attention. “I’ll tell you another time,” she said, hoping not to sound curt.

“Hannah isn’t sick, is she?”

“No … not sick.”

“Thenwhat?“Levi drew near, his eyes searching hers.