OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (51 page)
Read OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! Online
Authors: Rae Earl
UESDAY
12
TH
O
CTOBER
7.32 a.m.
It's still raining! Smokers must spend their entire lives feeling soggy.
I refused to go out for a smoke with Nicky at lunchtime. He got really moody and said, “If you'd prefer to be dry than spend time with me then fine.”
I have to practise smoking. No one is home. I'll go on the decking.
I've made a slight burn mark on Mum's sun-lounger but she won't notice. It's got flowers all over it. The burn just looks like a stalk! No one is going to go out there till next summer. If summer ever happens again!
LOL! Mum came in and just flopped on the sofa. She said she felt REALLY tired and could we all make our own tea. Thank you, people wanting fry-ups in Mum's cafe! You have saved me from MUM LECTURE ACTION!
EDNESDAY
13
TH
O
CTOBER
4.58 p.m.
I had a smoke at lunchtime. I can't inhale yet but I've stopped choking every time I do it! I'm going round to see Gran tonight.
Gran smelt the smoke on my breath as soon as I got in the door and went mental. She started RANTING at me like I was about 4 years old.
| GRAN: | Why are you bloody smoking?! |
| ME: | Everyone experiments, Gran! Nicky smokes. It's sort of a thing we can share! (When I said this I knew it sounded a bit pathetic.) |
| GRAN: | Well, I thought you had more sense, young lady, than to make yourself ill and give yourself wrinkles for a boy. You stink like an ashtray! There are men at my social club that smell sweeter than you and they don't wash unless their wives tell them to. What on Earth do you think you're doing? |
| ME: | I just want to be a bit ⦠I just want⦠|
| GRAN: | You just want your boyfriend to like you. You are fine as you are. Don't you start changing to suit men! |
| ME: | I'm not! |
| GRAN: | Yes, you are. Now â I won't bother your mum with this IF you give me the cigarettes now and PROMISE me you are not going to smoke again. Nicky OR NO NICKY! |
I've promised her.
Princess growled at me. Gran said, “She doesn't like smoke either! Plus she is a bit fragile after her trip to the pet psychologist today. He taunted her with some chorizo sausage. Of course she snapped. What dog wouldn't? He doesn't have to beg and play dead for his lunch. Why should she?”
I am now an ex-smoker. I've texted Nicky to tell him. I'm glad really. Cigarettes are foul and make you smell like an old woman with too many cats. That is not sexy.
I was doing it for Nicky. Am I a mental girlie sap fest?
Or am I in love and that's the sort of thing that you do?!
I don't think I'm in love with Nicky.
HURSDAY
14
TH
O
CTOBER
4.09 p.m.
Nicky spent ALL lunchtime smoking. When he is at school he does English, Art and “standing behind the canteen having a ciggy”. He treats it like he should treat coursework!
Gran just rang my mob. “Hattie, if you're grown up enough to smoke you are old enough to hear the truth⦠I'm in a relationship with a man called Barry. He's a lorry driver.”
OMG â my gran's broken biscuits do come from her secret lover!
RIDAY
15
TH
O
CTOBER
8.32 p.m.
I've spent ALL evening with Barry and Gran!
They are actually really sweet. He rubs her feet and makes her cups of tea. He's about 10 years younger than her, comes from Wolverhampton and calls everyone “pet”! When I walked in he said, “Hattie, pet, would you like a custard cream with some strawberry-flavoured milk? I've got plenty of biscuits. Always!”
I hope Barry is not after Gran's money. She hasn't got any.
ATURDAY
16
TH
O
CTOBER
5.12 p.m.
Took Nicky round to see Barry. Nicky told Barry he doesn't really go to school. Barry kept saying, “What you need is a job, Nicky. Forget about school. Qualifications don't count for anything. With haulage it's just you and your lorry. You're King of the Road! Plus there's cheap fags and lager in Calais.” Gran shouted at Barry for this.
Nicky looked excited.
I don't think Nicky ⦠is “me”.
BUT he likes me.
UNDAY
17
TH
O
CTOBER
7.32 a.m.
Goose and Megan are going to a boot sale again. They look TOTALLY loved up. He wouldn't look loved up if he knew what she was really like under her stupid, flouncy bird-print skirt.
Gran wanted to know all the details tonight about what Nicky meant when he said he doesn't really go to school. I told her he doesn't really actually go that much. She death-stared me and said, “Don't you get any ideas, Hattie. Get those qualifications. I don't want you working in a cafe all hours. You're a smart cookie! Don't waste anything for a man!”
WHERE DID ALL THAT COME FROM? I yelled, “Gran, that won't happen. I'm a FEMINIST!”
Gran laughed and said, “Germaine Green never started smoking because a bloody boy wanted her to!”
Who is Germaine Green?!
Weirdo Jen says Gran means Germaine GREER. She basically invented feminism. Before her, women just wore big dresses, baked cakes, looked after children, painted pictures of kittens and fainted in hot weather.
ONDAY
18
TH
O
CTOBER
5.23 p.m.
Nicky can't see me tonight. He's going tagging with all his mates.
There's nothing left to tag. He'll have to start tagging people as they sleep!
Would Germaine Greer go tagging with a man or would she go tagging on her own?
Germaine Greer would not tag. Tagging is a boy thing. Germaine Greer would do feminist things like not taking her clothes off OR taking her clothes off and not letting
FHM
take photos!
Just want to say there's more to feminism than just whether you're in
FHM
or not.
And if you are in
FHM
you can still be a feminist. Just a feminist in pants.