OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (58 page)

Gran just called my mob.

She said, “Hattie – I've got something to tell you.”

I thought, OMG! WHAT? SOUNDS SERIOUS.

Then she said, “Hattie. I've bought a onesie and it's changed my life. I'm never taking it off!”

When I got cross and said, “Gran – DON'T do that. I thought something serious had happened!” she said, “It HAS! I've got a onesie!” and put the phone down!

I rang her back to tell her about Goose, and she just said “Finally! Now I've got to go. They are repeating
A Touch of Frost
. Bye!”

I've bought Goose a stuffed toy lizard! It's because he loves Freak but he can't really take him to bed without fear of squashing him!

Goose seemed to like his stuffed lizard until Gran gave him a parcel! It's not even his birthday! She said, “WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, GOOSE!” It was an onesie with mini frogs all over it. Goose started jumping up and down with joy.

Everyone has gone onesie mad.

I am a bit angry.

Goose and I have had our first actual big domestic row.

1. Goose is going to the boot sale tomorrow as normal. Rather than snogging me.

2. Mum invited Goose to come round tomorrow afternoon to put the Christmas tree up as he is “part of the family now”. He has agreed to this – rather than snogging me.

I have gone from HOTNESS feast to HOTNESS famine.

I am sick of my family taking Goose off me. I know that sounds pathetic but it's TRUE.

Just rang Gran. I moaned that everyone was wanting to talk to Goose, invite Goose to something, take Goose somewhere or buy him a present.

Gran just said, “Listen, LADY. That jealous thing is back again. You better get over that. We love that boy. Lots of people do. Get used to it. And get used to onesies too. They will change the world.”

She's not right about onesies. She may be right about Goose.

Gran IS right about Goose.

Just been to see Goose. I told him I was sorry for being a bit … possessive.

Goose just said, “Hattie, if people love you – I just want to spend time with them.” Then we snogged. And snogged. And snogged.

Goose and me … OH IT JUST GETS BETTER. Hattie, don't mess this up because it's MAJOR LOVE.

We just had the best DAY EVER. After the boot sale, Goose came round to help put the tree up. Then me, Mum, Rob, Gran, NATHAN and Goose just all ended up in the lounge eating mince pies and watching
The Sound of Music
. Then Rob said, “Who wants to play a game?” We ended up playing Twister. Gran said she was the best at it because she HAD done yoga and zumba but Rob was like the incredible bendy man! It was LOL! THEN I just MULLERED Nathan at Monopoly. He may be older than me but he's craptacular at buying and selling property. Then Gran got the casino set out that she bought from QVC when she was drunk and we played roulette! Princess tried to kill the wheel but Gran bribed her to stay in the kitchen with an M&S mini pork pie.

I think my family are actually a bit magnificent…

Got to stop writing now. Goose wants to kiss me.
GOOSE WANTS TO KISS ME
. THIS is going to be THE most perfect December EVER… NOTHING can spoil it. Not even if Gran gives me a reindeer onesie for Christmas and MAKES me wear it in front of the man I love AND WHO TOTALLY LOVES ME.

OMG – I hope she doesn't…

Kevin Johnson
For your endless patience and general lifetime excellence.

My mum
For all your magnificent inspiration.

And:

Tom Wagstaff
For having a gecko and Rob Wagstaff for telling me all about him.

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