On 4/19 (On 4/19 and Beyond 4/20) (10 page)

After Chelsea had gone to bed, John sat alone in the living room thinking of their conversation the night before. He considered what the drunken man said to her and how it made her feel about herself. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel dirty in any way. Without question, she was the sweetest girl he had ever known and to think that maybe he was causing her to feel anything less than the remarkable woman she was, was entirely unacceptable. He considered too the fact that the one man’s supposition would be most people’s assumption. It would have to make her uncomfortable, and he had to wonder, had she known what to expect when the deal was struck? She had been in a desperate situation, forced in a way to make such a commitment of the year. For the first time, John considered what might have happened if he’d not been the one to choose her profile. What if it were some perverted old man who would have taken advantage of her? That thought caused him to be thankful it was him. Still, as glad as he was to be the one to bail her out of her financial crisis, he could hardly stand the thought of her living a life of secrecy.

Hearing her TV still on, he went and tapped lightly on her door. “Chelsea, are you still awake?” When she answered the door in the same shorts and t-shirt she wore the night before, John sighed heavily. She was just a kid.

“I was just getting into bed.”

“Will you come out for a minute? I need to talk with you about something.”

Following him to the sofa, she sat with her feet curled up beneath her and waited for him to settle in next to her. John stood for a moment, seeming hesitant, and because of it, she felt a bit concerned about what he might have to say to her. A knot formed in her stomach in anticipation of it. Finally he sat near her and gently patted her leg. Such a sweet gesture allowed her to relax somewhat.

“I’ve been giving this some thought. I realize you’re a bit uncomfortable about how others perceive our relationship. I know you feel ashamed to tell your parents.” Her eyes were so large and innocent as she looked up at him waiting to see where he was going with the conversation, that for a moment he faltered. The night before, when the drunken idiot upset her the way he did, the look on her face was one he was sure he would not soon forget. Those same innocent eyes were so filled with hurt and shame, he could hardly continue on being responsible for putting her in such a position. Finally, blinking long and slow, mostly to get the image out of his mind, he continued, “I guess what I want to know is if you feel you’ve made this commitment in error? If so, we’ll work around the tuition thing. I will gladly pay for your classes and…”

Interrupting him, she said, “No, not at all.” In that moment, understanding how kind and thoughtful John really was, she was certain he was unlike anyone she would ever meet again. He was offering to pay the tuition for a virtual stranger and let her out of their agreement – all because she felt uncomfortable about it. Chelsea reached out and took hold of his hand, and when she did, he sighed just as he had standing in her doorway. No matter his concern, she would never consider such a thing, if for no other reason than she was too intrigued by him to walk away so soon. Already the thought of walking away was something she didn’t look forward to. “John, I’m not ready to end this. Not so soon.”

Relieved, he admitted, “Good to know.”

M
onday arrived much too quickly, and Chelsea was filled with regret that life would soon be back to normal. They were driving in John’s SUV, heading away from the airport. Just as he had on the way to the airport, she found he took an unfamiliar route to her place. Going instead toward Beverly Hills, she asked, “Why are we going this way?”

“I have something to show you.”

“Do you live here?”

“Close by.”

When he didn’t elaborate on where he lived, she sensed it was on purpose. There was something about his lack of particulars that stung a little. Clearly, he was maintaining a boundary. It was her reminder that this was not a relationship or even a friendship. No matter how well they got along or how comfortable she felt with him during their trip, it was business, nothing more.

Eventually, they pulled through a security gate and into the parking lot of a beautiful condominium complex. “Where are we?” Her heart was pounding. She suspected he may have rented her a condo there, but fear of being way off base and embarrassing herself kept her from saying so.

“You’ll see,” was his only response.

They went through a luxurious lobby and to a bank of elevators. He was holding her hand as they waited, whistling, making her even more nervous. Once on the third floor, he led her through a set of double doors and into a magnificent living room with soaring ceilings, reminiscent of old Hollywood. Across the room there were two sets of double glass doors leading out onto a balcony with a fireplace situated between
them. Every room throughout the condo was large and airy, each having dark hardwood floors. To the left were a large kitchen and two bedrooms, and to the right of the living room, was an archway leading to the master bedroom. With each room she entered, she found she was more in awe, especially of the kitchen. It was a chef’s kitchen, something she’d dreamed of but never believed she would have.

Unable to endure his tormenting silence any longer, she found the nerve to ask, “Why are you showing me this?”

He hesitated, bracing himself for war before saying, “I want you to live here until you graduate.”

Covering her mouth, she took a step toward him and leaned into his chest. When he wrapped his arms around her, she began to cry softly.

He took her by her arms and moved her back. Bending his knees so that he was eye level with her, he asked, “Why are you crying?” He expected an argument maybe, but certainly not tears. She was pitiful and precious. Her lip quivered and big crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks. “Chelsea, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

All she could do was shake her head back and forth. For another minute, she couldn’t speak. Never would she have dreamed he would do something like this for her. The car was over the top, but to rent such a beautiful place for her was beyond what she could accept. “I can’t allow you to do this. You’ve done too much already. This place must cost a fortune.”

Cupping her face in his hands, he dried her tears with his thumbs. “You’re worth a fortune.” For a moment he simply stood there, looking into her big brown eyes. Still, tears streamed down her cheeks. He’d called her baby, and as soon as it left his lips, his stomach turned a flip. It felt much too intimate a name to call her. For the first time in his life, he felt as if he were stumbling and unable to catch himself. Always he’d been so surefooted in life, but with Chelsea, he felt like he might topple over.

Finally he pled, “Please stop fighting me. I want to give you everything.” Brushing her hair away from her face, he smiled softly, “Let me.” He sensed her uncertainty still and admitted, “This is as much for me as it is for you. When I come pick you up, I don’t want to keep picking you
up from a parking lot. And I sure don’t want to meet your roommates.” Thinking for a second, he added, “This will solve your problem of not having to tell them. You just move here, and they’ll never know a thing about me.”

Looking around, wanting to say yes more than anything in the world, she mumbled, “I have no furniture to bring.”

Surprised that was her only argument, he walked over to the kitchen and picked up the card of a designer Irene had already contacted. She came by the afternoon before to look around. “Call her. She said to get a few magazines and find what you like. You will meet with her this week and get started.” Taking out his wallet, he removed a credit card. “Put everything on this.”

He could see she was still on the fence, so he added, “I want you to live somewhere I know you’re safe and happy. I believe you will be here.” Arching his eyebrows, he asked, “Be honest. Do you like living with three roommates?”

“Of course not.” Realizing she would be late for class if they didn’t leave soon, she admitted, “That’s
the
most phenomenal kitchen I’ve ever seen. I love to cook.”

“See? This is right.” Taking her hand, he placed a key in it and closed her fingers around it. “If you don’t mind, I kept a key too. That way if I’m ever meeting you here and you’re not home yet, I won’t be stuck out in the hallway.”

If she didn’t mind? Did he really just say that? He was renting her what was probably a million dollar condo in Beverly Hills, and he asked if she would mind him keeping a key. Looking at the key in her hand, she felt quite certain if she accepted it, it would make her completely his. Was that what she wanted? At the thought of it, her heart began to pound harder. If she were completely honest with herself, she wanted nothing more.

Several weeks had passed, and the condo was decorated so beautifully that it looked just like the cover of a magazine. The main living area was mostly decorated in white tones. Her furniture was oversized and so comfortable that she often fell asleep on the sofa while watching TV. All the wood in the room was stained in variations of warm honeyed tones.
The decorator selected much of the art work and lighting, but Chelsea picked the accessories. Surprisingly, the condo felt more like home than she could have ever expected. Her last apartment felt like an extension of dorm life. Having her own things, well, hers for the time being, she felt comfortable and secure. Every time she walked through the door, the warmth of it seemed to envelope her. Since being home at her parents’ house, she had not known such a feeling in years.

The first week after they arrived home from Vegas, she received a check for two months of expenses. The amount John called fair boggled Chelsea’s mind. When she deposited the ten thousand dollar check, she was still determined to spend only the amount needed. In her heart, she knew that was the right thing to do. Having no idea what to do with the remaining money, she decided she would allow it to accumulate and simply give it back to John when their contract ended. Soon, credit cards arrived with her name on them. As she shopped for furnishings for the condo, she tried to determine if it was an item she would leave or take. If it was something she wanted to take when she moved out, she paid for the item with her own funds. If it was something she felt comfortable leaving behind, she used John’s credit cards. The entire experience was surreal, causing her to constantly wonder if she were living out some fabulous dream.

On occasion, she wondered if John would find another girl to take her place when she left. She had to presume he would. At times, she would look around the condo she had made comfortable for herself and wonder if another would move in right away and make it her home. The thought of it caused her chest to feel tight and her heart to fill with deep sadness. When such questions surfaced, as they had done often over the past few days, she tried to push them away, reminding herself not to live for what would be, rather what was.

John stopped by a couple of times to check on her progress. They had gone out to dinner on a few occasions, but there were several days she did not hear from him at all. Those days were terribly disappointing, and she found herself feeling a bit rejected. Each time that kind of feeling surfaced, she had to remind herself that she agreed to no strings or commitments. The times she considered calling him, she realized it
would be inappropriate for her to do so. She felt a little trapped and sometimes in over her head. Nighttime was the loneliest. Many nights, she would sit alone watching TV, wondering what he was doing. Images of him with other women often swirled around in her mind. She would be a fool to believe she was the only one. No matter where they went, he drew such attention from the opposite sex that it made her feel certain there were others. Who could blame them? He was the most fascinating man she had ever met.

Finals were over, so she had more free time than she was accustomed to. To kill time, she had taken up running, partially because she knew John ran each morning. The longer she ran, the more she found it helped to clear her head and alleviate the anxiety of waiting. In the past two days, John had not called or stopped by, so she was beginning to wonder if the honeymoon was over and he had become bored with her. That was why she was running at the moment, trying to forget how much she missed him and how she longed for him to at least acknowledge her. Fully comprehending how pathetic her feelings were, she found herself frustrated by the fact that she had already begun to develop feelings for John. But how could she not? In all ways he was the absolute perfect man, so no matter how often she told her heart not to feel, it did anyway. It was much too early to call it love, but it was the deepest level of infatuation she’d ever known. And she knew she was merely inches away from falling head over heels in love with him. How could she have been so stupid?

When she returned to her condo, John was there waiting. Kicking her shoes off by the door, she moved in to the living room where he sat. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, you.” While he waited for her, he sat and looked around her place. It was very like her, warm and bright, clean and inviting. He loved the things she had chosen for her new home. As much as he wanted to spend more time there with her, his schedule had been hectic. Many times he considered calling her, but with no event or dinner to schedule, he wasn’t quite sure it would be welcomed. Their agreement was pretty specific, and he would not infringe on her private time.