On Paper (8 page)

WHEN I WOKE
up the next morning I had a mission: Find Quinn and get her to spend the day with me. She was used to seeing me in this environment. All of her ideas of who I was came from this circus. I needed to get her out of here and let her see the real me, away from the book world and what she thought she knew. She had mentioned how much she loved the city and how she wanted to come back sometime and visit the wineries. Well, why wait when I could take her to see those things?

I sent her a text asking her to meet me in the same hallway where we'd talked the day before. I mentioned that I needed to talk to her about something.

I stared at the phone, waiting for her to agree.

She didn't reply.

I felt like an idiot.

I still went, hoping she would come. I rubbed my palms against my jeans nervously as I stood tucked in this little hidden hallway. What if she ignored me? I couldn't get a real read on her. It was obvious she had her reservations, but I felt like we'd moved past a lot of those last night. I paced three steps left, three steps right.

I still wasn't sure why I was so drawn to her. Especially with her smart mouth and attitude. But I loved that about her. I loved that she made me work to win her over. And it wasn't charm or charisma that did it. I could give her my best line and she'd just laugh at me. Or worse, she'd walk away. The only thing Quinn seemed to respond to was honesty. Every time I caught myself letting go and just talking she rewarded me with a smile, or if I was really lucky a real conversation.

It was different. She was different than any other girl I'd been interested in. As a rule, I didn’t do details, but she made me want to push forward and get them, as many as I could. I wanted to know all of her details.

I waited, the walls of my tiny nook getting smaller as I watched people hurry by to different rooms. I felt like a criminal, hiding out hoping to remain unseen. I didn't want to risk having a group of people around me if she did decide to find me. Shit, I wanted her to find me.

Minutes ticked by and I could feel the heaviness in my stomach begin to settle in and take root. Maybe I had misread the previous evening. Maybe she hadn't been warming up to me at all. Maybe she still thought I was a jackass and had just gotten better at tolerating me. I sighed and leaned back against the wall, giving myself a pep talk to ease my bruised ego.

I pulled out my phone to see if I'd missed a text. Nothing. I slid it back into my pocket, defeated.

But then she was in front of me, her bag slung over her shoulder and looking behind her nervously. It's strange, the feeling that washed over me instantly. It wasn't quite relief, although that was there in spades, it was more like I'd just won a prize, like Ed McMahon was on my doorstep with balloons and a giant check. Granted, Ed was dead, but the analogy still worked. I couldn't help the grin that was plastered to my face.

"You came," I said.

"Hi," she said simply. God, I wanted to pull words from her. I felt like I was back at square one and I was going to have to audition all over again.

"Come in closer, away from everyone," I suggested.

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you planning an attack?" she asked, teasingly. I smiled wider, I liked that she was teasing me.

"Maybe."

We stood staring at each other. She looked adorable. I mean, she was still hot, but standing here in her jeans and her yellow cardigan, hair pulled back in a ponytail and black rimmed glasses on her nose she looked fucking adorable. I wanted to lean in and kiss her nose. How ridiculous was that?

"Keaton?"

Oh, right. She was probably wondering what it was that I wanted and I was staring at her like an idiot.

"Sorry. You distracted me. I like your glasses," I fumbled.

She smiled, shaking her head. I'm glad I was able to amuse her. She waited for me to continue.

"I was just wondering if you might want to get out of here for a little while. I thought maybe we could rent a car and play hooky or something," I offered.

Her head tilted to the side as if she had to decode my words. "Don't you have panels today?" she asked.

"Just a couple. No one cares if I'm there or not," I said, watching as the tiniest of frowns settled around her eyes.

"Do you know how many people I've heard talk about how excited they are to see you this afternoon? Trust me, they'll miss you. It's not fair to them if you decide to skip out. They paid good money to be here and to see you. Don't take that away from them," she said. Her voice was calm, there was no judgment, not out right, but it made me feel like an ass for having even considered it.

"Okay, how about tomorrow. I'm free after breakfast. We could go then,' I offered.

She seemed to think about it for a long moment and I braced myself for her refusal. "I know you have panels that you probably want to see, but I don't know . . . I just thought maybe . . ." I was stumbling over my words. Where was my game?

"I'll go," she said.

"You will?" My smile was back, wide and I feared it was overtaking my face and any ounce of cool that I thought I had.

"Sure, what time to do you want me to meet you?" she asked.

"Oh, um, ten? We can meet in the lobby if you want."

"Okay. I'll see you then," she smiled shyly.

"Will I see you later today or at happy hour tonight?" I asked. Suddenly tomorrow morning seemed too far away.

"I'll be in your panel later," she admitted.

"Well then, I'm glad I decided to go," I laughed.

"I gotta go. I'll see you later, Keaton," she said.

"Okay. I'll see you later. I can't wait."

I watched her turn to leave and managed to wait until she was out of sight to give in to my urge for a fist pump. I didn't even recognize myself at this point.

JUST AS SHE
promised, I did see Quinn again that afternoon. I’d been staring at the door waiting for her to appear and when she walked into the meeting room I couldn't help but smile. She’d said she was coming, but I hadn’t been sure she wouldn’t change her mind. Now that she was here, sitting five rows back and three seats over, I realized how much I’d really wanted her to show up. Even if I didn't get to talk to her, I could look at her. I could study her, observe her. She still wore her glasses and the simplistic look did something to me I hadn't expected. I was anxious for tomorrow. Anxious to spend a day with her alone. I was still surprised that she had agreed to go and a little afraid that she might still change her mind.

I tried to pay attention to the questions and listen to the answers of my other panel members, but my eyes kept falling to her face, holding her eyes until she would look away. I thought about the small freckle that rested above her lip and imagined what it would be like to place soft kisses there.

She was clouding my thoughts. I felt like we were in some sort of cat and mouse game. I loved catching her eyes on mine, and the way she would look away quickly, not wanting me to know. I know she thought she had me figured out, but damn if I didn't want to prove her wrong.

As the panel ended I waited to see if she would come towards the table to say hi. I watched as she got up from her chair and started to move the other way. The fall of my heart surprised me as it hit with disappointment. Then, as she neared the door she turned back and gave me the sweetest smile and a small wave and I swear I felt warmth run through me. It was an odd sensation, but one that I wanted to repeat.

I WAS A
little nervous at the idea of seeing Keaton at the happy hour. Then again, I’d had nerves in abundance since I’d agreed to spend the day with him. I was even more nervous now, after sitting in that panel with him earlier. His eyes had constantly searched mine out and I was sure that everyone in the room had noticed. How could they not? It had left me feeling flushed and I hated it. After all of my resolve, I was fawning over him like everyone else.

I had checked my hair and make-up no less than seven times in the past fifteen minutes. I tried to be subtle about it as I waited for Lily to primp and change clothes. Unfortunately, she was onto me.

"You look great, Quinny. He'll drool all over you, don't you worry," she smirked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I huffed. She laughed softly and put another coat of mascara on her lashes.

"Quinn, it's okay if you like him. He's gorgeous. And I don't know, he seems like a decent guy, too," she shrugged. I couldn't help but scowl. Part of me still wanted to hold on to my initial judgment. It had been easier to dismiss him when I’d thought he was just an arrogant asshole. This other side that I kept getting glimpses of was much harder to walk away from. So yeah, when he'd asked me to go with him I'd said yes. I’d shut my brain off and went for it. Lily was always telling me to let go and live a little. And for once, I wanted to be that person. If ever there was an opportunity to be someone different it was now. I was in a beautiful city and there were no expectations. No one here, aside from Lily, knew anything about me. I could be anyone I wanted to be. I could even be brave and daring. I didn't have to be logical with my lists on paper mapping out what I should do. For once, I could be spontaneous and just feel what if felt like to go without a plan. It was liberating even if it was scary as hell.

The way I saw it, it was a bit like a trial run. If I was planning on leaving my safety net and moving to New York then I was going to have to learn to do things that scared me. I had to admit, there was part of me that was afraid that the city would chew me up and spit me out and I'd end up right back in Kansas City with all of my dreams crumbled around me.

I didn't want that. I wanted to go and thrive. I wanted to be able to soak up the fast paced world and be better for it. I just wanted to live. Sometimes I worried about what I was missing out on, what it was that I could be doing if only I weren't too busy thinking it over and analyzing it to death. What could I do if I were brave? What would happen if I jumped first and figured it out on the way down? It was all very unlike me, but somehow it felt necessary.

How that all translated into giving Keaton Harris a shot, I'm not sure. But it had and I was going with it.

"Ready?" Lily asked, waking me from my daze.

"Yeah," I said. I shook away the last lingering bit of skepticism and gave myself one more glance in the mirror as we walked out.

Lily chattered on as we took the elevator downstairs. She had met up with Miles this afternoon and was planning to meet up with him later tonight. She liked him, I could tell, but I didn't think too much about it. Lily liked a lot of people. She was a free spirit; she never seemed to get tied down to one person. She thought being young meant you should explore the world.

"I'm starving, I hope that they have some snacks down here," Lily said as we rounded the corner into the big meeting room that they had transformed into a reader's happy hour. I didn't hear much after that, because I saw Keaton immediately upon entering the room. He was tall, so tall that he was easy to spot among the sea of people. He was wearing a deep blue button down shirt and a pair of low-slung, dark jeans. The blue of his shirt made his eyes enchanting even from this distance and in the dim light. I shuddered to think of what they could do to a person up close.