On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (25 page)

When we got there, we spread out the big blanket we always used. Jake started unpacking the bag from the bagel shop. I tried to figure out where to lay my guitar case so it wouldn’t be in our way yet would still be protected by the blanket. Jake had begged me to bring it so I could play for him. I was growing so attached to Josephine; I had no problem lugging her along. But playing for Jake made me nervous.

We ate our breakfast all alone in the park. It was odd that on a Thursday during summer semester there was no one walking to class.

“Is today a holiday? Why aren’t people going to class?” Jake and I didn’t have any classes, so it could have been some holiday and I would never have known.

Jake took a huge bite of his bagel with lox and shrugged. I grabbed my phone to see the date, but the time is what I saw first.

“Seven-thirty? It’s seven-thirty? Jake!” I lunged for him, knocking him backwards just as he forced his last bite down his throat. I groaned and sat back on my legs. “Unbelievable.”

Jake held his stomach with both hands and giggled uncontrollably as he tried to sit up. “I wanted to spend the whole day with you. And I knew if you knew what time it was, you would never get up.”

“I can’t believe you! I think that’s the sneakiest, most under-handed thing you’ve ever done!” I giggled the whole way through that sentence.

“Okay, enough with your abuse. Play your guitar for me.”

A bevy of things that flutter entered my belly all at once. I knew he wouldn’t let this picnic end without me playing something. And I guess the fact that it was so early was the silver lining, because it was possible that he would be the only one who heard me.

I reached around, unlatched the case, and pulled Josephine into my lap. I should have used the walk to the park to think of something to play. I wasn’t good at winging it under pressure. I got my left hand ready and held my pick against the strings with my right.

“Jake, this is Josephine. Josephine, this is Jake.” I smiled.

“Josephine? You named her after your grandma? Nice to meet you, Josephine. Thank you for making my Gracie happy.” We both smiled.

I took a deep breath and started to strum a couple different chords, and then it came to me. “Beautiful Ending” by Barlow Girl. I played the first six or seven measures and stopped. I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath...in through my mouth and out through my nose.

“Gracie?”

I looked up at the beautiful blue eyes that swallowed me whole. I smiled and shook my head. “I can’t play this without singing.”

“So sing.” He reached out and touched my knee. “Think of it as a private concert for your biggest fan.” He leaned forward and placed a soft peck on the tip of my nose.

One more deep breath and I started, two measures in, I was singing the words of a girl wondering if her love story would have a beautiful ending. Within two more measures, I was lost. I played and sang. I didn’t know how loud I was. I didn’t know if I missed a lyric or mis-fingered a chord, but the tears finding their way out behind my closed eyes were evidence that I was in the moment. The song was like a drug. The more I let it fill me, the lighter my heart felt. At some point, Jake’s hand slid from my knee. I didn’t feel it happen, but when I plucked the last string, I opened my eyes, which were pointed down at Josephine, and my knee was bare.

Still high from the moment, I rubbed my eyes and looked up at Jake. The look on his face spoke of what he was feeling better than anything he could have said. Our eyes held each other’s gaze for what seemed like an hour, speaking our own language, communicating a love that was too big for words. A love I couldn’t wait to get back to.

“Gracie Ann...I have no words for how incredibly gorgeous that was.”

“Thanks, Jake. I really love playing. The singing just kind of happened. I felt like Josephine needed a partner.”

“Wow. Just...wow.”

I wasn’t even sure he’d heard what I said, because I knew that comment had nothing to do with being Josephine’s sidekick.

“I’m so thankful that Yaz offered to let me use this guitar, but you know what?”

“What’s that, baby girl?”

“I’m growing so attached to it, like she’s becoming a part of me. Our stories are melding into music. Whosever hands she’s been in had a story, and now she’s adding mine to the mix. It’s going to be hard to part with her.”

“I have something for you.”

“You do?”

“Look in your bag.”

I looked at him quizzically. Why would something
he
was giving me be in
my
bag? He knew I didn’t go anywhere without it, so he must have slid something into it when I was in the shower.

There was a brown paper bag taped closed. I pulled it out, and, like a little girl at Christmas; I ripped the bag to shreds to reveal something that was for both me and Josephine. An embroidered leather guitar strap. I held one end in each hand and stretched it to its full length in front of me. There were gorgeous green, blue, and purple threads winding into paisley shapes along the length of it. That’s when I noticed the words in the design. They were big enough for me to read, but small enough the strap wasn’t blasting a message to anyone; it was just for me, a quote.

“
Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.” Victor Hugo

“It’s beautiful, Jake. Thank you so much! Maybe putting it on another guitar will make it easier to part with Josephine.”

“Let’s see how it fits you...and Jo.”

I lifted Josephine’s old dingy strap over my head and lay her between us. Jake unhooked one end and I unhooked the other. Then I attached one end of the new strap and he attached the other. I tried it on. It couldn’t have fit any better. Like a hug.

“I love it, Jake. Ugh.”

“What’s the
ugh
for?”

“Look how beautiful it looks on Josephine. This just makes it harder to think about giving her back.”

“What if I told you, you didn’t have to?”

“Pretty sure Yaz would be pissed if I ran off with his guitar.”

“It’s not his anymore. I went to see him Saturday when you went to lunch with Becki. He sold it to me. I wish I could have bought you that new Martin you played in the store, but I’d have to do a hell of a lot of flirting behind the bar at
Mitchell’s
to get three thousand dollars in tips.”

“Jake! My own guitar?” I threw my arms around his neck but not for long because I was anxious to admire my beautiful gift.

“I was hoping you’d like her weathered look.”

“I do. I wouldn’t want a new guitar. I want this one. She has a story. A new guitar is just too pristine and devoid of any character. I have a feeling Josephine has her share of secrets, and I love that I get to play mine on her. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love the strap and can’t believe you thought of doing that.”

“I have a confession.”

I looked up at him and nausea hit my stomach. The last time someone confessed anything to me, it turned my world upside down, and I met Hell face to face.

“Whoa, Gracie. Last night, I was actually thankful for Calon, thankful for what he can pull from you. You took my breath away. I know you well enough to assume part of your comfort with Josephine is that she has a past. She’s got scratches and scars. I get it.”

I had no words. I put Josephine to the side and climbed into Jake’s lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist and sat on his crossed legs. I laced my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair then breathed him in. Sometimes, I felt like if I didn’t hold on tight enough, he would disappear. No one could be this faultless. Sometimes, I thought he was too good to be true.

Thirty-two

Jake

It was early Friday morning and I was sure Gracie was sleeping in, especially since I had her up so early for our breakfast the day before. I decided to get a run in just in case she wanted to spend the day together. I laced up my running shoes, threw last year’s Summer Fest t-shirt over my head, and locked the door behind me. I distracted myself as I ran down the stairwell so I wouldn’t be tempted to stop at the third floor.

The sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I loved running when the air was crisp. I thought back to the days when I played soccer. The morning practices throughout the summer to get our team ready for fall were my favorite. They usually consisted of a long early morning run, then a couple hours of conditioning and drills. I was blessed with an athlete’s body and stamina to go with it, and it was addictive. Sam and I had run together a lot over the last year, and I hoped this new girl he was dating wouldn’t keep us from continuing that tradition. We held each other accountable.

I tried to let Gracie call the shots as far as what we would do or how much time we would spend together, which was difficult because I missed her, but I could see her growing and reaching a confidence level I wasn’t sure she even knew she was capable of. I no longer worried she asked me to do things because she felt guilty if she didn’t. She was learning to make decisions based on what was in her own best interest, not everyone else’s. I was whipped, completely whipped by the most amazing girl on the planet.

I didn’t like not knowing where she was or how she was feeling. I hated to think that there may be times she cried or got anxious without me. I knew there had been; the pile of tissues by her bed was proof. I was especially uncomfortable with Noah being back in town and her not knowing. I wrestled with whether I should tell her or not. On one hand, if I told her, it would prepare her for the possibility of running into him. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to squelch the fervor she had for rebuilding her confidence. If she was worried about seeing him around town, it could take up space in her mind that should be focused on her music and poetry.

My feet hit the pavement at a comfortable pace, and I was sure to take it easy considering my knee wasn’t quite back to normal. I remembered to look both ways before running across any parking lot entrances. I could feel the sweat bead along my forehead and trail down my back. It felt good.

Over the last couple days, I’d been pre-occupied by the idea that there was a DVD in the Sigma Chi house that had Gracie and Noah’s most intimate moments on it. It made me nauseous every time I thought about it. But not thinking about it made me feel guilty, because there had to be something I could do to get it out of that house.

I thought about my connections with the people from my classes, the guys training with me at
Mitchell’s
, people in our apartment building. Who was I close enough to that I could persuade into a search and seizure mission? Nothing. I came up with nothing.

I considered going to the police, but then if charges needed to be filed, Gracie would have to be the one to do it. I wasn’t sure she was ready for that kind of pressure. I would have to look into it further so I knew what to expect if we blew the whistle on Noah. It made me wonder if that was the only sex video that had made its way through the rooms of that house.

A pain shot through my knee and slowed me to a brisk limp. I overdid it. I walked it off for a couple blocks then cut across campus to head back toward the apartment for some more personal time with the frozen vegetables in our freezer. Sam was going to be pissed; those peas and carrots had melted in the bags about twenty times since I wrecked my knee. I was sure the fresh flavor advertised on the package would soon turn to the rancid flavor of freezer-burn after being re-frozen all those times.

My knee loosened up a little as I walked, so I decided to take an extra loop around the block. When I got to the corner store to grab a bottle of water for my walk home, I had to pass by a couple guys taping posters up onto the double doors.

“Hey.”

I hadn’t even noticed who was working the register until she spoke. “Hey, Chelsea. What’s up?” I was glad I remembered her name this time.

“Hey, Jake. I was hoping I’d get another dance with you before summer is over.”

I smiled and grabbed cash out of my pocket.

“Can’t believe it’s almost July. Summer’s going by fast.” I sounded like a complete dork, but I was trying to get her off the subject of us meeting up again without looking like an asshole.

“Yeah, so that’s why you need to come out to Sig Chi on the tenth. I’m a little sister there. Maybe we could have that dance.” She winked, and her pretty eyes sparkled. Then she looked me up and down. She was flirting so hard it was almost embarrassing. Almost.

“What’s at Sig Chi on the tenth?” I hated even asking, but it suddenly dawned on me that Chelsea could be my “in.” If I agreed to meet her there, it wouldn’t appear as though I just showed up without an invite. Security at Sigma Chi parties was tight. They were strict with who got in and who was turned away at the door. But I assumed being a guest of a little sister would get a guy right in, no questions asked.

“It’s their annual OML party.” She handed me my change, and her hand lingered in mine a little longer than it should have. “The guys are hanging posters all around town today. You should check them out.” She nodded in the direction of the glass doors.

“OML?”

“One month left.”

“Yeah, sounds fun. Why don’t I give you my number, and you can give me a heads up the day before.”

We exchanged numbers. She didn’t even ask what happened to the girlfriend I told her I had the night we danced. Guess she didn’t care.

When the door swung closed behind me, I stood for a second to check out the OML posters while I opened my water. The posters advertised the “Heaven and Hell OML.” Neon yellow words and graphics were printed on a flat black background. There was an image of an angel stripping for a demon; I shuddered at how symbolic that was. I called Maverick.

“Hey, Mav. Don’t make any plans for July tenth, okay.” I knew Maverick would be up for whatever needed to go down to get that DVD out of that house.

“Are you asking me out, dude? You know I don’t swing that way.”

“Shut up.” I laughed out loud and choked a little on my water. “You and I are going on a secret mission at Sigma Chi.”