On Solid Ground: Sequel to in Too Deep (45 page)

Open your soul and live.

They’ll beat you.

They’ll wreck you.

They’ll steal everything you have.

So, stand tall and give it your all

even if you’re all you’ve got.

So much can happen to turn this world upside down.

But hold on, stand strong.

And look for solid ground.

Just take one more breath, it goes like this.

There’s no tomorrow if you don’t learn to live.

You don’t have to stay where the last person put you.

Baby, spread your wings and fly.

Darlin’ don’t you look down

‘til you find your heart on solid ground.

Jake

“I forgot something in the car. I’ll be right back.” I kissed Gracie on the head and excused myself from the dinner table to head outside. She didn’t seem to notice I left and it made me smile. She and my dad were in some lengthy conversation about 60’s music, and I knew that could last a while. We had only been in Jackson for a couple hours, and, already, Gracie had won my dad’s heart.

I leaned against the car in the freezing cold and watched my breath make little clouds in front of me. It was Christmas Eve, and somehow, I’d convinced Gracie to come spend our break in Wyoming. She was very close to her family and was terrified of flying, so I was shocked but thrilled when she decided to accompany me to my hometown for the holidays. We planned to spend time with both my parents, but dinner at my dad’s house had to be first on the agenda.

I pulled my hands from my pockets and rubbed them together to warm them up before I touched the icy handle on my car door. I leaned in and rifled through the duffle bag I’d not-so-accidentally left behind until I found what I was looking for. I put the small, black velvet box in the pocket of my coat and headed back inside. I wasn’t sure if my teeth were chattering because of the temperature or my nerves.

“There you are. I was just telling Gracie how you always seem to disappear when it’s time to clean up after dinner.” My dad chuckled and shook his head as he ran water over the dirty dishes.

Gracie stood beside him and filled the dishwasher with the dishes and silverware he handed over to her. She looked up and smiled at me with that beautiful smile that melted me from the inside out. If I stayed as warm on the outside as I felt on the inside, I wouldn’t need a coat for our little trip.

“Pop, I need to borrow Gracie from you for a little bit.”

“Jake, it’s okay. Let me finish helping with the dishes. Then you can have me all to yourself.” Gracie painstakingly organized the contents of the dishwasher so the last few things would fit.

“Naw, it’s fine, Gracie. You and Jake go ahead and get outta here. I can handle the rest. Go on. Git!” He winked at me when Gracie turned her face to me.

“Come on, baby girl. There’s something I want to show you. You’ll need to dress warm because it’s outside.”

“I’m really not a cold-weather girl, Jake. You’re going to kill me, but...I didn’t even pack a coat. I was so nervous about the plane, I forgot we were headed to the tundra.”

“Come here. We’ve got enough here to get you all bundled up.” I took her by the hand, and she followed me to the mud room. My dad’s log cabin was small and cozy, but he had so much stuff packed in every possible storage space, I knew I’d be able to find something for her to wear.

When we were ready to head out the door, I turned and looked at her all bundled up, and I could do nothing but grin from ear to ear. She wore my big brown canvas hunting coat, a gray floppy knit hat, big flannel mittens, and my huge steel-toed boots I kept at my dad’s for when I helped him in the woods.

“You are freaking adorable right now.” I shook my head and tried to contain my nervous excitement.

“Adorable? I feel like the abominable snowman. I think you added an extra fifteen pounds to me with all this crap I’m wearing.” She adjusted the hat that was falling past her eyebrows.

“Well, I don’t think you qualify as
abominable
, but you
are
an adorable snowman.” I took her hand but couldn’t take my eyes off her. A new chapter of our lives was about to begin, and I just wanted to take it all in.

“Jake. Seriously? I’m starting to sweat. Can we go, please?” She huffed.

“Yeah, come on.” We walked out onto the deck outlined with colored lights my dad must have gone out and bought just for Gracie’s visit. She stopped dead in her tracks.

“Um, if you are taking me out there...into the wild, we need a flashlight.”

“Baby girl, do you trust me?”

“I trust
you
, but I don’t trust the man-eating bears that are out there.” She pulled a little on my hand as if she wanted to go back inside.

“Come on, just trust me. In ten seconds, you won’t need a flashlight.”

She looked at me like I’d lost my marbles. I knew what she was thinking. We were going to walk away from the illuminated deck, so she expected it to get darker. She walked hesitantly around to the other side of the house with a death grip on my hand, and, as I suspected, when we turned toward the pond, she gasped.

The full moon that reflected off the pond, as well as the foot of snow that blanketed my dad’s front yard, was our flashlight.

“Oh, Jake.” She tipped her head back and let her eyes take in the millions of stars that winked at us, one by one.

I pulled her along with one hand and walked to the edge of the pond where my dad had tied the canoe. We stepped up onto the dock and walked to the end. Gracie was still speechless over the view. I guess, when you live in Tennessee your whole life, you miss out on stuff I probably took for granted all the years I lived in Jackson.

“After you, my dear.” I held her hand and motioned toward the canoe with the other.

“Jake, this is amazing.” She stepped down and sat on one of the beautifully caned benches that were just one of the unique details my dad had added to his design.

“Do you like the canoe? My dad has been working on this thing for a really long time. I asked him if he could have it done for Christmas so you and I could have our own little moonlit cruise.” I sat across from her. Our knees touched. She gasped and grabbed my hand when I leaned to reach an oar and we tipped a little.

“Your dad made this?”

“Yep, last year it was a big cedar tree from the back of the property somewhere.”

“Wow. So you
do
have creative blood in your veins.” She smiled.

I thought back to our conversations about Gracie’s artistic side and how it helped her make sense of her emotions. I pictured us living in a place like my dad’s and working in the garage on my next big project. I smiled at her and my stomach flipped over. I rowed until we were close to the middle of the pond then took a deep breath and laid the oar behind me.

“Gracie?”

“Yeah, Jake?” Her voice was so soft and calm, I barely heard it, but the moonlight shone in her eyes and the stars’ reflections made them twinkle.

“Gracie, I don’t think I could ever put into words exactly what you do to me. From the first time we met, your wonderful and unique spirit grabbed hold of me and drew me in, and I have held every moment we’ve shared in my heart. You are my best friend and the love of my life. And I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Oh, Jake.” She tilted her head and smiled.

“Gracie, our love is big, and it runs deeper than anything I’ve ever known. But saying I love you doesn’t seem like enough. It would take multiple lifetimes to show you what I feel in my heart when I say those words to you. Gracie, I love you more than words.”

“I love you, too, Jake, so much.” A tear ran down her cheek.

I took off my gloves to wipe it away. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, you hold a part of me I’ve never given away, and I can’t imagine my life without you.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little, black velvet box. “Gracie Ann Jordan, will you marry me?”

She gasped when I opened the box and turned it toward her. She looked down at the emerald cut solitaire I knew she would love and covered her mouth with both hands. She nodded so enthusiastically, the boat rocked a little, which made her grab for the sides.

“Well?” I tried to be patient, but hearing the next word out of her mouth would solidify my future, and I would be the happiest man on the planet.

“
Yes!
Yes, Jake, I’ll marry you. Nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life loving you.” She leaned in and I kissed her softly.

“Now, take off your gloves so I can do this right.” She obliged immediately and a long string of giggles followed.

“Jake, I can’t believe this. You, the moon, the canoe. It’s so perfect. You are so perfect.”

“No, Gracie, I’m not perfect, but together, I think we are as close as it gets.”

We snuggled for what seemed like hours underneath an umbrella of twinkling stars in the canoe that rocked us gently.

“Whatcha thinkin’, baby girl?”

“I’m thinking our love is a lot like a starry night. Millions of brilliant moments that make up something so spectacular it’s impossible to put it into words.”

I squeezed her close and kissed her forehead. “I only need five words. I love you, Gracie Rockwell.”

Mr. & Mrs. Dean and Julia Jordan

request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter

Gracie Ann

to

Mr. Jacob Andrew Rockwell

at the University Chapel

University of Tennessee Knoxville campus

on Saturday, August 9th

at three o’clock, following the graduation ceremony.

We hope you will also join us afterwards at

Mitchell’s Pub

Live entertainment provided by Alternate Tragedy

More from Becki and Calon...Coming Soon

It’s hard to describe what it feels like to write about characters, settings and situations that reside inside my heart. And then to entrust those imaginings to the hearts and minds of people you will never know? Talk about anxiety...

But that’s what I do and these are the people that make it happen.

There is no one on this planet who knows me like my husband. Gracie and Jake were born after a long discussion we had about telling this story. I worried about how raw and painful it would be to write something with components that resonate on a deep level with me personally. He said, “Do you realize the impact this story could have on someone else who’s been in the same situation?” So, thank you Ken for giving me the push I needed to do this...to really
do this
. I am living my dream and it is all because of you. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

To my children, Matthew, Emily and Izaiah, thank you for your patience with me as I wrote throughout your entire summer vacation. I love you and your big hearts! Thank you for loving what I do almost as much as I do.

I need to thank my dear friend and unofficial counselor, Michelle, for listening to me vent on that bench at the playground and for putting up with my late night texts about tape. Thank you for always letting me pick your brain and for praying for me through this whole process. Your genuine friendship and ability to make me laugh no matter what we’re talking about, means the world to me.

Todd R., I could never have harnessed the goofball relationship between Gracie and Sam without having a goofball best friend like you. I love you and your stellar “vernacular guidance” as I wrote...I hope you approve of the finished product.

Becki’s off-the-cuff personality was based on the personality of my amazing friend and Sigma Kappa sorority sister, Jeni. Ohhhhh, the stories I could have included...but, this is fiction so...you know I can’t do that. Thank you for your life-long friendship and for your surprise visit to my book signing! Maybe including Becki in the sequel will get you to move back permanently? Maybe?

I couldn’t have written this book without consulting my very own SWAT cop about various legalities regarding specifics within Gracie’s storyline. Thanks, Todd P. for taking all my texts and not changing your number.

It may just be possible that I have the best team of beta readers on the planet. In no particular order, Jenee, Jaimie, Sarah, Kathleen, Jamie and Luwanna, a huge thanks goes out to each of you for all the hours you put into making corrections and helping me shape ON SOLID GROUND into what it is today.

Jenee, you are a master of your craft and no one but you could have talked me into an alternating POV. Your tolerance of my long facebook messages and texts was what made this book what it is. You’re brilliant and I love you hard!

Nancy S. Thompson, you are one amazing editor and I hope you’re not sick of me because I plan on using your detail oriented editor brain over and over again. I was floored at the details you caught that needed clarity or a quick (sometimes not so quick) fix. It’s been a pleasure having you along for the ride.

Once again, thanks to my favorite band and their lead dude for continuing to inspire and heal me...Eddie, Stone, Mike, Jeff, Matt and Boom, you are true artists and your humility is beautiful. Within a week of this novel being officially complete, I celebrated with you (although you didn’t know it) on your first night in Philly on the Lightning Bolt Tour. Three people from the rail was the PERFECT way to bring this story to a close. It all started and ended with Pearl Jam. Eddie, there’s a sobbing hug coming your way...someday.

And, of course, a million thanks go out to the thousands of readers and bloggers who rooted for Gracie in IN TOO DEEP and begged for more. To those of you who blogged the snot out of ON SOLID GROUND prior to its release, you freakin’ rock! I hope I fulfilled your hunger for more tears and ugly crying.

Emotional abuse
is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones
(Engel, 1992, p. 10).