On the Edge (13 page)

I glance over at Tommy with a worried expression.  He stands and grabs his chair and moves beside me.  He takes my hand in his and kisses it.

“So, Abigail, let’s start with the questions.  I see here that you actually weigh less now than before pregnancy.  Have you been having a lot of morning sickness?”

“Well, I’m sick quite often and I’m rarely hungry.”

“How have your energy levels been?”

“I feel worn down and I always want to sleep.”

“This isn’t abnormal in early stages of pregnancy.  I will give you a prescription for the nausea and you need to start taking daily prenatal vitamins.  Your baby needs a lot of nutrition and your body will provide for the baby first before you.  Now, are you ready to see your baby?”

“Yes,” I say, unable to hide the excitement from my voice.

Dr. Hubert puts some lubricant over something that looks like a wand, only a little thicker.  The wand is attached to a computer.  He has me scoot my bottom to the edge of the table and gently inserts the wand.  An image pops up on the screen but, for the life of me, I can’t tell what anything is.

“Well, this is rather interesting,” he says.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Well, you are about seven weeks pregnant.  I estimate your due date to be January 10, 2013.  However, I want to show you something.  You see this blotch here?  Well, that is baby A and this blotch here is baby B.”
             

“Wait, what?  What are you saying, Doc?” Tommy asks.

“What I’m saying is, congratulations.  You’re having twins.”

Tommy is squeezing my hand now and I am squeezing his hand back.  Tears begin to roll down my face.  I wasn’t prepared to be pregnant with one baby and now the doctor is telling me that I am expecting two babies.  How the hell are Tommy and I supposed to raise two babies?  My parents are going to be furious.  What are we going to do?

Chapter Ten

I was not expecting to be told that Tommy and I created two lives.  Twins don’t even run in my family.  Raising one baby was going to be a struggle but two babies are going to be impossible.  Tommy hasn’t said a word to me on the drive home.  Every now and then I hear him utter something under his breath.  He is obviously pissed off and is no longer excited about this pregnancy. 

“Abby, maybe we should consider an abortion,” he finally says to me.

“What?  You want me to kill two innocent lives?”
I ask looking at him in utter shock. 

“Dammit Abby, we can’t take care of one of them let alone two.  What do you suggest we do?”

“I don’t know, but I know killing these babies is not an option.  I will not allow anyone to hurt my babies!”  I exclaim while try to keep my anger under control.

“Fine, but you better figure something out and soon.”

“Me?  You are a part of this too, Thomas!  If you want me to figure it out then I’ll do it but you won’t like it!”

He pulls over to the side of the road and abruptly stops the car and slams it into park.  He grabs my face and squeezes my cheeks forcing me to look at him.  “Excuse me?  What the fuck did you just call me?”  I don’t say a word.  I can’t.  “Don’t you ever call me Thomas.
  My name is Tommy and you would do good to never forget that!  Furthermore, don’t you dare threaten me!  You figure this out Abigail and I mean it or I’ll fix this problem!”

Tears stream down my face as I nod my head.  I don’t know what else to do.  I know I have to fix this.  I have to make this alright and keep my babies safe.  I can’t let him
force me to abort these babies.  I will leave him before allowing him to kill these babies.  I will die before allowing my babies to be murdered before having a chance to live.

“Good!  Now, I suggest that you
never
speak to me like that again.  Next time, I won’t be so forgiving,” he says as he releases my face and puts the car in drive.  

We finish the rest of the drive in silence.  I can’t believe he had the nerve to ask me to abort these babies.  I’ve heard of the pro-life and pro-choice debate and never really thought where I stood and I still don’t know where I stand on that matter, but I do know that these are my babies and I can’t kill them.  They are half of me and I am their mother.  It is my job to keep these babies safe.

As we pull into his parking spot, I notice a person I’ve never met before hanging around his front door.  This guy is shady looking.  He’s short and stocky and only a few inches taller than me.  He has greasy blonde hair and stubble of a beard.  Who the hell is this and why is he hanging around Tommy’s apartment?

“Abby, when we get out, I want you to go inside.  I need to talk to Garrett alone.”

“Oh, you know him?” I question him.  This guy looks like he’s up to no good.

“Yes, I was in foster care with Garrett.  I’ll talk to you about him later.”

“Okay, Tommy.”  I don’t question it anymore.  After our “discussion” earlier, I don’t want to push him any further.

Tommy gets out and comes to my side to open the door.  He walks beside me toward the door.
  “Hey Garrett, give me a second to get my girl inside and we can talk.”

“Alright man, just hurry will you?”

Tommy unlocks the door and ushers me inside.  He gives me a quick kiss on my cheek and walks back out, closing the door behind him.  I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel that they are up to no good.  I decide now is the best time to call my mom.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mom, how are you?”

“Oh Abby, I was expecting you to come by after your appointment.  Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.”

“So, when are you due?”

“The doctor said the tenth of January.  Mom, there is something else.  The doctor said that I don’t just have one baby, but that I am expected to have twins.”

“Oh, Abigail, I don’t know what to say.”

“I guess there isn’t much to say, Mom.  It’s how the cards played out for me and I have to figure out how to care for two little ones now.”

“
It’s not just your issue to figure it all out Abby.  It’s Tommy’s responsibility too.  And you have your dad and me here for you.  I know your dad is a bit upset with you but he’ll get over it and accept all of you.  Just have faith baby.”

I hesitate telling my mom about Tommy’
s suggestion on the abortion; however, I can’t hold this in.  I need someone to talk to.  “Mom, Tommy wants me to have an abortion.  He doesn’t think we can handle two babies,” I confess as I begin to cry.

“Abigail, he’s just stressed out right now.  If he continues to pressure you for an abortion, you get in your car and come home.  Those babies are
not
going anywhere.  If he doesn’t want them, we will help you take care of them and we will all be alright.”

“I hope you’re right mom.  I really do because I don’t want to give these babies up.”

“You don’t have to baby.  Why don’t you and Tommy come over for dinner tonight?”

“That sounds good.  We’ll be by around five o’clock.”

With that, I hang up the phone and make my way to the kitchen to get a bite to eat.  I decide to eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich and drink a glass of milk.  I’m glad that Tommy keeps the pantry and refrigerator stocked with food.  He’s definitely not your average man.

I’m just sitting down to eat when Tommy comes inside.  I notice that Garrett is no longer with him.  He comes over and sits next to me.  “I’m glad to see you’re finally eating.  There are three of you to eat for now.”

“I know.  I need to get my prescription filled and get some prenatal vitamins tomorrow.  I’m also going to pick up some clothes for this growing belly of mine.”

“I’m sorry I brought up abortion.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I guess I just got scared.”

“It’s understandable.  I’m scared too, but we will manage.  I have faith that we can do this.”

“I know baby,” he says as he stands and kisses me on my forehead. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Ok babe.  Oh, my mom asked us over for dinner tonight.  I told her we would be there around five, if that’s alright.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” he grumbles as he makes his way to the bathroom.

I finish my meal and take my dishes to the sink to wash them as Tommy exits the bathroom.  I glance over at him and I notice that something is different in his eyes.  His pupils are larger than they normally are and they are glossed over.  “Are you alright?” I ask.

“Yes, why, do I look like I’m not alright?”

“Well, it’s just that your eyes look different.”

“What?  I’m just tired, that’s all.  Why do you seem to always question shit, Abby?”

“I’m sorry.  I just noticed your eyes looked different and wanted to make sure you were alright,” I lie.  Tommy has to be on something.  I just don’t know how to bring it up to him. 

He growls, “I’m fine, Abby.  Let’s go to your parents’ house and get this dinner over with.”

“Ok.  Hey, let’s take both cars. 
I want to grab some thing that I’m going to need from my parents’ house and bring them back with me.”

“Sure, whatever you want, Abby.”

I grab my purse, phone and keys and walk out the door with Tommy behind me.  He gives me a kiss on my cheek and we walk to our own cars.  I’m surprised that he didn’t walk me to my car.  He normally makes sure that I’m in my car and the door is closed before he gets in his.  I push the thought from my mind and get in my car and get situated before backing out of the parking spot.

Tommy arrives at their house before I do.  When I pull into the driveway, he climbs out of his car and meets me by mine.  “Hey, what took you so long to get here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, forget about it.”

What in the world is wrong with him?  He’s really starting to piss me off.  I will never understand him so I better just stop while I’m ahead.  My mom opens the door as we are walking up on the porch. 

“Hey kids, thank you for coming.  Tommy, go on in.  Kevin’s in the living room.”

Wow, this is the first time Mom has called my dad by name to Tommy.  I don’t even think Tommy knows my parents by Kevin and Joyce.  “Hey Mom,” I say as I hug her.  “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good baby.  Do you have the ultrasound picture?”

I fish the picture out and glance at it before handing it to my mom.  The babies look so cute.  You can see little itty bitty arms and legs attached to a little body.  Both babies are side by side. 

“Oh my,” she says as she holds back her tears.  “What a precious picture of these babies.  I know they weren’t planned, but I love you and I already love these two little babies.”

“Thank you, Mom, I love them too and I am excited but really nervous.”

“That’s normal, sweetie.”
  Mom wraps her arm around me and walks me inside.  Dad and Tommy are in the living room.  They aren’t talking, but at least Dad isn’t yelling.  We have made some progress in the past twenty-four hours.  I go in the kitchen with Mom to help put dinner on the table. 

We eat while making casual small talk.  Mom told me not to say anything to upset dad during the meal.  However, after dinner, Mom helps me out by starting the conversation. 

“Kevin, Abigail is going to start to move some of her stuff over to Tommy’s.  Tonight she’s going to take most of her clothes.”

“Abigail,” Dad says, “You know this will always be your home, so don’t think that you don’t have a home to come back to.”

I glance up at Tommy and I see anger developing in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word.
  “Thanks, dad.”

“Abigail, show your dad the ultrasound picture of the babies,” I hear Tommy say.

“Babies?  What the hell do you mean babies?” Dad growls.

“Well Dad, I went to the doctor today and he found that I am having twins,” I reply as I take the picture out of my back pocket.

“Son-of-a-bitch, like one baby wasn’t enough you’re expecting two?  What the hell are you guys going to do now?” He shouts as us.

Tommy is livid now and his eyes harbor nothing but evil.
  “You know what, Kevin? I’m getting fucking tired of your criticism.  You need to back the fuck off and realize that I am the father of these babies and I am going to do what is necessary to take care of them.  If you don’t have anything nice to say then why don’t you just keep your fucking mouth shut?” Tommy growls back at my dad. 

Oh no, this is not going to end well at all.  No one has ever talked to my father like that before.
  “Excuse me?!  Who the hell do you think you are coming into my home and speaking to me like that?  Get your fucking ass out of my house before I throw you out!”

Tommy gets up and storms to the front door.  I get up to follow him outside but he’s already in his car and speeding off down the street, so I go back inside.  I’m trying to get to my room without confrontation with my dad, but it wasn’t successful.
  “Abigail Marie Wilkinson, we need to talk, and we need to talk right this minute!”

“What?” I ask as I turn to face my father.

“The way that boy spoke to me was uncalled for.  I don’t appreciate such disrespect from a loser whose only accomplishment in life was knocking up my teenage daughter!”

“You don’t think I witnessed what just happened?  You both were out of control and, yes, I know
Tommy was out of control.  Dad, I don’t know what the hell is going on but I know that I’m tired of being in the middle of it.  I get yelled at by him and now you. I’m sick of being yelled at all the damn time!”

“Wait, what?  Are you telling me that he talks to you the way that he just spoke to me?”  Dad questions me.  His anger and concern is not hidden as well as he thinks it is. 

“Dad, it’s no big deal.  We are both under stress and sometimes he yells.  It really isn’t any worse than the way you yell at me,” I lie to my dad.  I think this is the first time I’ve ever lied to my father. 

“Abigail, I can’t help you unless you tell me the truth.  But yelling at you is unacceptable.”

I nod and turn back around and finish making my way to my room.  I decide not to grab anything but some more clothes.  After all that has happened today, I think I just need to grab a few more necessary things and get back to Tommy’s apartment. 

I grab my bag and head out of the house.  I throw my bag in the back and climb in the driver’s seat and take off.  I cry all the way back to Tommy’s apartment.  How the hell could tonight go so bad?  I pull into the guest parking spot and grab my bag and head to the apartment.  Just as I am about to stick my key in the door, Tommy opens it from the other side.  I look up at him and I don’t see my Tommy.  He has anger and evil in his eyes.
  “Get your fucking ass in the house now,” he screams at me.

I’m startled but do as I’m told.  I quickly make my way in the house and put my bag down by the front door.  I turn to face Tommy and I am met with a slap across my face.  I scream out in shock and put my hand to my cheek.

“Where the fuck were you?”