One Christmas Wish (10 page)

“Maybe this'll jog your memory.” Leaning down, he bit her earlobe lightly. “Julia…” he teased. “Didn't you fantasize about me the way I fantasized about you?” he whispered, feeling the goose bumps raise against his lips on her neck.

“Maybe.” Her hands crawled their way down his chest, lingering at the waistband of his boxers, taunting him.

Grinning, he pinned her arms with his hands and burrowed his chin against her neck, making sure the stubble scraped at that sensitive skin.

“Okay!” Laughing, she writhed beneath him. “Yes. I fantasized about you, Isaac. For years.” Slipping out of his hold, she touched her lips to his neck, covering him with light kisses while her hands slid down his body and closed around him.

Whoa.
His head fell to the pillow. The power of her words alone was enough to take him there. This would require some serious restraint.

“I thought about it being like this,” she murmured against his skin. “Being snuggled in a soft bed in the middle of nowhere. Cut off from the rest of the world.” She eased herself to a sitting position with her strong arms and threw the covers off of him. “I thought about your weight over me, about you covering me with your body, about hearing you sigh my name again and again as we made love.”

Her hands continued to caress him, and he couldn't stop the rocking in his hips. Hell, the feel of her hands on him—he never wanted it to end.

“That's what I want, Isaac.” She peeled off his boxers, then lay back down on her side next to him, pressing her body against his. “I want you to make love to me. I want you to make me yours.”

“You've always been mine.” He stroked her face, swept her hair behind her shoulder, and kissed her as he gently pulled her leg up and over his waist. “And you always will be.” Losing himself in the wet warmth of her mouth, he lifted her hips and fit himself into her, fit them together the way he always knew they would be. The slick velvety feel of her brought a surge that ended in a shudder. His body pounded for release, but he held back, pulling her in tighter and holding her there, right there, searching her eyes, seeing everything he'd ever needed.

Julia's lips quirked. “This is even better than I imagined,” she murmured, borrowing his words.

“Just wait,” he managed. God, could he wait any longer?

“I'm done waiting,” she said, then slid her tongue down his neck, pressing her hips into his, burying him deeper into her.

The power of it sent stars circling through him and loosened his hold on control.

“I don't know how long I'm gonna last,” he admitted. No use pretending. He wanted this woman more than he'd wanted anything. Ever. When you've wanted something so badly for so long, apparently it made it that much more intense.

She smiled at him, pressed her finger against his lips. “Let's see how long we can make you last,” she teased, shifting so that he was on top. With a lengthy purr-like moan, she arched against him, harmonizing with the rhythm of his body's desires.

Her eyes closed and he watched her body stiffen with the same rush that pounded through him. He slid his hands down her sides and took her hips in his hands, hitching her up and into him, groaning into her hair.

“Mercy,” she breathed again and again, digging fingernails into his back.

“You're everything,” he whispered. Everything that mattered. Everything he'd ever dreamed about on those cold desolate nights when he wondered if he'd ever come back from the darkness.

Kissing her lips, her forehead, her chin, he rose to his knees and threaded her legs around his waist, thrusting at an angle that'd never failed him once.

“Isaac,” she gasped between the breaths that coursed between her lips as rapidly as his own. “I can't hold on anymore.”

Thank god
. He charged into her again and the intensity of his desire broke free. Collapsing over her, he convulsed helplessly, pulling her in so tight that he swore their bodies fused together and became one. She cried out and he loved that sound, loved the way she gave herself over to him, loved the way she didn't hold back. He never wanted her to hold back with him.

Letting her head roll to the side, Julia peered up at him with a lazy smile that he wanted to remember forever. “That was so worth waiting for.”

Folding her into his arms, he lowered to kiss her soft lips again. Because he could. She'd stopped running from him. She'd finally forgiven him for leaving her.

“I love you,” she murmured, resting her palm against his cheek. He felt her relax in his arms and it was so perfect and right, her face soft and sweet, her silky hair spilling over his shoulder. Peace weighted his body, making everything else seem so far away.

“I love you, too, Jules.” She'd taught him the meaning of that word, and he'd never leave her again.

Y
ou hoo!”

Julia's eyes popped open.

“G'morning you, two!” Cecilia's chipper greeting was muffled on the other side of the door.

“Isaac,” she hissed, nudging him. He was dead asleep, half of his body draped over hers.

“Mmmm.” He wrapped an arm around her and hauled her against his firm body, eyes still closed. “I haven't slept that good in so long.”

“Me neither,” she admitted, letting herself settle in.

“No more dreams.” The contented peace in his voice seeped into her.

He tugged her face closer, kissing her the way he had last night right before he'd made her utter his name.

“I'm so glad.” She held him off as best she could. “But Cecilia's outside,” she whispered through a laugh.

He yawned. “You don't say,” he said, then kissed her and wriggled his hands over to her breasts.

“Anybody home?” the woman called as she knocked again. Talk about persistent.

“We're here!” Julia called, squirming away from Isaac's wandering hands.

“Have I mentioned how much I love your body?” he asked sleepily.

Before he could make her shut out the entire world again, she shoved him to the edge of the bed. “Will you see what Cecilia wants? Please?” Before the woman barged in and things got awkward.

He eased off the side of the bed and stood, stretching his athletic body, which only made her want to pull him back into bed.

Without bothering to cover himself, Isaac took a step in the direction of the door.

“You're answering it like that?” she demanded.

“We're married,” he reminded her. “I'm sure she won't expect us to be clothed.”

Even so, Julia tossed him a blanket. “At least wrap this around your waist. Watching some other woman lust over your hot body will make me jealous.”

“How jealous?” he asked, but wrapped the blanket around his lower half anyway. As he opened the door, Julia propped her head on the mound of pillows and ruched the covers up to her neck.

“So sorry to bother you,” Cecilia gushed, rushing into the room, waving happily at Julia. “Did you two loves have a good night?” She grinned as though she already knew the answer.  

“Yeah,” Isaac said, peering over his shoulder at Julia. “It was pretty amazing.”

Her cheeks heated and tingled. Amazing didn't begin to describe it. “Did you need something, Cecilia?” Because she could go for another round…

“I came by to tell you that Tollie took the truck to get the tire fixed. He'll be back real soon.”

“Oh.” Right. The truck. Her brother's truck that they'd borrowed so she could get a dog that would help her when she moved away. Reality slammed back into her, flooding her with thoughts, worries, plans…

“That's great. Thanks,” Isaac said when she remained silent. “Then we can be back on the road?”

“I don't see why not,” the woman said, dragging out the syllables, blatantly ogling Isaac's bare chest.

“Was there anything else?” Julia asked sweetly.

“Oh, yes. I'll have breakfast waiting for you in about a half hour,” she murmured to Isaac's pectorals. “And Oliver's things are ready to go.”

“Perfect,” Isaac said, opening the door. A subtle hint that it was time for Cecilia to go. “We'll see you soon, then.”

After she left, Isaac bounded back to the bed.

“Thirty minutes gives us plenty of time.” He shimmied himself under the covers, down her body, spreading her legs with his hand.

Julia tried to sit up. “What're you—”

The words drowned in a moan the second he put his hot mouth on her.

He lifted his head and grinned. “I'm gonna see how many times I can make you moan just like that in thirty minutes.”

Turned out a person could moan a lot in thirty minutes. Especially when Isaac was in charge. Seriously, in bed, in the shower, on the kitchen counter…it had to be a world record or something.

“Ready?” he asked her, already pulling her into his arms.

“I suppose.” She'd finally managed to convince him they'd better get dressed and ready or their breakfast would get cold. Surprisingly, he hadn't tried to help her at all. He'd simply let her get herself dressed and freshened up while he made the bed. But now she didn't want to leave this haven. In here, she and Isaac were together. Out there, she had no idea what would happen.

Why hadn't she mentioned her plans to him? She wasn't sure. Fear that he'd tell Ben, maybe? Or simply just because they were hers. For so long it'd been a secret and now it felt sacred.

But what would Isaac think if he knew she'd planned this whole trip so she could go away?

“I love carrying you around, Jules,” Isaac said to her as he tromped over the snow and toward the main house. “It'll never get old.”

Despite the brightness of the day—the sun shining in a royal blue sky and the whiteness of the new snow blanketing the ground, glinting with sparkles, something inside of her dulled. Last night had been beyond anything she'd ever experienced. With anyone. She'd meant what she said. She loved Isaac. She always would. But she'd also meant what she said about never getting married, about never saddling anyone else with her limitations. Especially someone she loved so much.

“Everything okay?” he asked as he carted her up the steps and into the Gaffneys' foyer.

The crisp scent of bacon and eggs turned her stomach. “Everything's fine,” she said, looking away from him. How could she tell him now? After keeping it from him this long?

She couldn't. He'd only try to talk her out of it. The best thing for her to do would be to leave quietly. Sunday morning. She'd already scheduled a ride to the airport. It would be a quiet, easy escape. No good-byes. She knew she couldn't say good-bye to Isaac. She'd never make it through.

He carried her across the sitting room and into the cramped dining room, then settled her in a chair before sitting next to her.

The table had been set with beautiful ceramic plates and crystal glasses. “This place would make a perfect bed and breakfast,” Isaac said to Cecilia, who was still gathering things in the kitchen.

Julia glanced around. It would. It really would.

“We'd certainly love that, someday,” the woman sighed wistfully. “If for no other reason than to have company once in a while. It's been lovely to spend time with people who are as kind and good as you.”

The comment speared her. Here she was lying to the woman, lying to the man she loved, and Cecilia had called her kind and good.

“Woof!” Oliver trotted around the corner and laid his head in Julia's lap.

“Good morning, sweet doggie,” she murmured, scratching behind his ears until his hind leg started to twitch.

Isaac made himself very busy pouring coffee for both of them, keeping his distance from the dog.

“Here we are.” Cecilia paraded into the room, carrying a tray of food—crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, and mini muffins.

She sat across from them and dished heaping piles of food onto their plates. Under the table, Isaac snuck a grab at her upper thigh. “I'm having a hard time keeping my hands off of you,” he whispered while Cecilia fed some bacon to the dogs. “But I guess there will be more time for that later.”

Her eyes lowered to her plate. She didn't agree, didn't want to lie to him and tell him they'd pick up where they left off. It wouldn't be that simple. Instead of saying anything, she picked at her food.

Isaac and Cecilia chatted about the dogs and their training, but Julia mostly tuned it out. She'd read all about it on their website, anyway. She knew what to expect. From the dog, anyway. From a future with Isaac…now that wasn't so easy.

She never should've complicated everything this way. But last night he'd been so shaken by that dream, and she wanted to be with him, she wanted to experience it once so she could have the memory forever…

“Oh, this has been so lovely,” Cecilia said when the conversation lulled. Even though Julia had hardly touched her breakfast, the woman started to clear the plates. “We would love to have you come and visit us again. It's such a shame you're moving to Dallas.”

Isaac's head snapped up. “Dallas?”

Julia's heart became a dead weight in her chest. Closing her eyes to shut out his horrified expression, she inhaled deeply, trying to buy time to formulate an explanation. But what could she say? She hadn't wanted him to find out like this.

“Moving to Dallas?” he echoed. The blend of shock and anger in his tone forced her eyes open.

“Why, yes. For Julia's new job,” Cecilia prompted, as though embarrassed that he would forget such an important fact. “I believe that's what it said on your application. Isn't that right?”

“I was going to tell you,” she choked out, reaching for his hand.

He pulled away.

His boots stomped into the floor and stuttered the chair backward. “You got a job in Dallas?”

Cecilia's mouth gaped. She looked back and forth between them. “I'm so sorry. I thought…well, you must've known. Unless…” Her lips clamped like she'd just realized what was really going on.

And that's when Julia knew. It was over. The whole charade was over.

She turned to Isaac first, because the defeated look on his face broke her heart. “I'm sorry. I should've told you.”

“That's why you wanted the dog.” He stared at the table as though trying to piece it all together. “So you could go away. On your own.”

She only nodded.

“I'll give you two a moment,” Cecilia said quietly, then disappeared into the sitting room.

“When?” he demanded, his face a mask of anger. “When are you leaving?”

“I have a flight to Dallas on Sunday. It all happened so fast.” The explanation rushed out, pleading for him to understand. “It's my dream job and I had to go for it. I only found an apartment three days ago. I haven't even had time to pack.”

He wouldn't look at her. “You've known this whole time,” he said to the floor.

“I didn't expect anything to happen between us.” She shouldn't have
let
anything happen. “I didn't know how you felt about me. How could I have? You
left
,” she reminded him. Again. And there it was. He'd apologized but she hadn't forgiven him, had she? She was too afraid. He could always leave again and next time she might not recover.

“You're right.” Gravel roughened his voice. “I made a mistake. I left.” Defeat colored his cheeks. “So now I guess we're even.”

No! That's not what she'd meant. “Isaac…” she reached for him, but he turned his back.

“I need a minute,” he said as he walked away. Seconds later, a door opened, then slammed shut.

Cecilia crept back into the room and sat across from her.

Tears smudged the world. “I'm so sorry.” There wasn't much more to say. She wanted to be on her own so badly. She would've done anything. But how could she explain that to someone who couldn't understand? “We're not married. Obviously. I know that means I can't take Oliver.” She didn't deserve to take Oliver. “You've been so amazing. I just…I've wanted to be on my own for a long time. And I knew a dog like Oliver would make it easier.”

Sympathy crumpled the woman's face. “Of course you did, love.” She hustled around the table and plopped down in the chair next to Julia. “Oliver is yours. You take him. I know you'll be good to him.”

“I can't.” Because it didn't feel right. None of it felt right. If only she'd been honest with them from the beginning. Then she wouldn't have hurt Isaac, either.

“Of course you can,” Cecilia murmured kindly. “Please. I want you to have him. You're his mum now. And he'll be exactly what you need.”

No matter how hard Julia blinked, the tears wouldn't stop. “I'll take good care of him. I promise. I'll send you pictures and everything.”

“Of course you will.” Cecilia squeezed her shoulder in a warm motherly gesture. “So you and Isaac truly aren't married?” She shook her head in disbelief.

“No.” Julia used a napkin to dry her eyes. “We're not.”

“But you're absolutely the perfect match,” the woman insisted. “That man is over the moon for you, Julia.”

She twisted the napkin in her hand. “We've known each other forever. And I love him, too.” But she also knew loving someone wasn't always enough.

“Well then, this is only a bump in the road. He'll forgive you. Eventually. And everything will turn out grand. You'll see.”

“Thank you.” She leaned over to offer Cecilia a hug as a token of her gratitude.

Something told her Isaac wouldn't forgive her as easily as Cecilia had. And given the future she had waiting for her, maybe it was better that way.

Dallas?
Dallas?
Damn it, he should've figured it out long before getting sucker punched like that.

Frigid air shot in and out of Isaac's lungs in furious clouds of steam. It took everything in him not to kick the firewood that was neatly stacked at the edge of the small front porch.

Retreating down the steps, he paced in the deep snow until his quads ached and the cold crowded out the energy that heated his blood.

She was leaving. By herself.
Damn it all.
He stopped and stared at the peaks scattered in the distance.
You left.
It echoed over and over. He was eighteen. What else could he say? How could he convince her he was sorry?

He couldn't. He'd lost her because of a stupid decision he'd made twelve years ago. She didn't trust him. That was as plain as the nose on his face. Julia never really had been planning on a future with him. She'd already made other plans that obviously didn't include him. No wonder she'd kept everything a secret.