Only Love (41 page)

There were cops and reporters everywhere—inside and out. My feet hit the tile in the entrance and I whipped my head from side to side, searching to see which direction I needed to go in. Spotting the red ‘
Emergency
’ sign at the end of the hallway, I rushed in that direction. A heavy set of double doors was the only obstacle left—the only thing keeping me from at
least
getting information about Adam’s condition. At this point I was desperate. My nerves were shot, and I’d have a panic attack later when I thought about how recklessly I’d driven to get to the hospital, but for now all I could think about was him.

“Miss!” I yelled to the woman at the registration desk. I had to raise my voice to be heard over the chatter of Adam and Don’s comrades. She turned to gaze at me over her shoulder, but I didn’t wait for her to respond before continuing. “I need your help. The officer who was brought here today; can you at least tell me what his name is?”

The woman finally came closer, able to see I was on the verge of tears. She studied my face a little longer before deflating the one ounce of hope that I still had.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t give you that information.”

I lowered my head at her response, understanding the policy, but still feeling desperate for answers.

“Listen, I’m not asking you to update me on his condition or anything like that,” I explained, handing Rissa off to Gabby as I leaned closer to the counter. “Are you sure you can’t just give me a name?”

My tone was elevated, and I was almost beside myself with tears, but the woman’s stoic expression let me know I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her. My head went to my hands and I tried to catch my breath in between sobs. All I wanted was to know that Adam was okay. He had to be okay.

Gabby’s hand went to my back and I tried to calm myself down. The only thing I could think to do was to ask around, hoping that the officers would be more informative than the hospital staff. If that didn’t work, I’d try to get in contact with Joan and Cindy. The only reason I hadn’t already was because I figured they were already worried enough without me calling and adding to the already intense situation. For now, I’d try to find out what I could on my own.

In a matter of seconds, I pulled myself together and searched for a familiar face, maybe one of Adam’s buddies from the night we’d gone out to dinner. My eyes darted from one side of the lobby to the other. Nothing. I would just have to go up to strangers and start asking around.

I spotted a man in full uniform standing near the ER entrance, the white, double-doors Gabby and I had just walked through. He was alone which meant he was one of few who might not be too busy to talk to me. Putting one foot in front of the other, I made my way closer to him, trying to prepare my heart for what his answer might be when I asked him to confirm which officer had been injured.

You can do this, Aubrey. You can do this.

I had my introduction and question all set to go when, out of nowhere, one word hit the air. A word that changed everything. A word that answered all of my questions and made my breath catch in my throat.

“Daddy!” Rissa called out from Gabby’s arms. I felt faint at the sound of it, but somehow willed myself to turn around right at the exact moment Adam brought Rissa to his chest, embracing her like he hadn’t seen her in years. His hand clutched the back of my daughter’s head as he hugged her as tight as he could.

I didn’t have words. Not a single one. All I could think to do was run to him, so that’s what I did. My feet carried me in Adam’s direction faster than I could ever remember moving before, but I wanted nothing more than to have him close, so I could finally let myself believe that he was real—that he was okay. Within seconds, Rissa wasn’t the only one getting Adam’s love and attention. My heart swelled at the feel of his arm around my waist as mine went to his neck.

“You’re okay,” I breathed. “You’re really okay.”

Adam pressed his lips firm against my forehead and gripped me tighter.

“I heard about the shooting on the radio, and I thought it was… I thought…” when my sentence broke, Adam’s chest rose and fell with a heavy breath.

“I’m fine,” he promised, and I clung to those words. He was fine. My eyes closed and a wave of relief washed over me at the sound of them leaving his mouth. He was standing here, alive and well, all in one piece, and I promised myself right then and there that I’d never let him go again - no matter what. Whatever came at us, whatever problems arose, we’d deal with it head-on.

Together
.

A thought entered my mind and I looked up at Adam. “Don… is he alright?”

The look on Adam’s face nearly broke my heart. No, Don and I hadn’t exactly made one another’s list of favorite people, but I knew how much he meant to Adam. He’d been like a father to him.

“It’s touch and go for right now,” he said. “The bullet went in through his left arm and into his chest. He’s in surgery as we speak.”

I let my gaze shift to the floor when Adam’s expression filled with sadness. Yes, I was grateful that
he
wasn’t injured, but my heart still went out to Don and his family as I thought of what they must be going through while his life hung in the balance.

 In Adam’s arms, my eyes went to Gabby when I felt him reach for her. She was hesitant to come to him at first, but eventually let him gather her into the embrace with Rissa and me. Adam stood there hugging us, and I thought about how close I’d been to losing him—losing
this.
Now more than ever, I was painfully aware of how stupid it was to let drama come between us, drama that we could’ve worked out eventually if it hadn’t been for the distance.

Gabby swiped away a tear and put an arm around Adam too. It was then, when she returned his embrace, that I knew her heart wasn’t totally hard toward him. While it was easy for us to direct our feelings and frustrations at him on that night with emotions running so high, I was beginning to think that Gabby had already begun to accept the fact that her mother’s current issue was just that—
her
issue. No one else could take the fall for it.

I took a step back and took Rissa with me so Adam could hold Gabby full-on. He kissed the top of her hair and kept her close.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” he said in a low voice. “I’m sorry.”

Gabby nodded against his chest and blinked away more tears, but said no words, only hugged him tighter.

“Oh thank goodness!” Cindy called out, clutching her chest as she and Joan raced down the hallway toward us. Clearly the same news had reached them that I heard, and they’d left the daycare to be here. “You’re okay,” she gushed.

Adam braced himself for her and Joan’s attack, and Gabby jumped out of the way.

“You could’ve,” Cindy paused and placed several kisses on Adam’s face. “…You could’ve called or at least answered your phone to let us know you weren’t hurt! Your face is all over the television and they didn’t say if you were alive or dead!” she rambled, running her hands down her son’s arms, through his hair, doing a quick scan of him to make sure he was really okay. Her face was bright red and it was clear that she’d been a wreck before seeing Adam for herself.

“I know, Mom. I’m sorry. Things have just been crazy here,” Adam apologized while hugging both of his mothers.

Cindy took my hand in hers while still holding onto her son. A warm smile spread across Adam’s face despite the sadness there. Having all of us there together with him, supporting him as he awaited news of his partner’s condition, seemed to be exactly what he needed at the moment.
Love
. And I had plenty of that to give him.

We all did.

The church was full. Members of the community, law enforcement, and local politicians alike all lined the pews of the historic Catholic Church, and even the walls when the seats filled. I never imagined a turnout like this, but it was all well-deserved. I sat tucked beneath Adam’s left arm, smoothing the lapel of his black suit, noting his solemn expression when I looked up. For many reasons, today was difficult for him, but he’d been trying his best not to let it show, wanting to keep the focus of the day on the person we were there to honor, not himself.

Gabby sat beside us, holding Rissa on her lap as all our eyes went to the pulpit when the minister stepped up to the podium. Complete silence filled the room. The preacher began with words of condolence for the family and friends of the deceased and Adam lowered his head. My hand went into his and squeezed.

I scanned the crowd and looked at all the familiar faces, finding some that I expected to see, and some that I didn’t. One face in particular stood out to me above all the others—one of a graying man with a beard and a sling on his left arm—a man I’d actually come to respect over the last several weeks—
Don.
He sat across the aisle from Adam and me, holding his wife in his arms much the same way that Adam held me.

I thought back to how close he’d been to losing his life and then thought of one of the first acts of kindness he’d committed when he finally opened his eyes after surgery. He requested Adam’s presence in the recovery room, along with their superior. Having come so close to death had apparently put things into perspective, and he insisted that Adam come clean about not having seen what actually took place with Carlos and Manuel that day in the convenience store. While Don stuck to his story that Carlos had shot first, he no longer wanted Adam to shoulder the burden of carrying around a lie. The informal admission preceded the formal one that took place as soon as Don was able to leave the hospital. His willingness to make such a sacrifice for Adam, knowing there could be legal backlash for them
both,
made me look at him in a slightly different light.

By the end of the coming week, Adam would have to face the consequences of what he’d done; his presence was requested in a meeting with his superiors regarding his future with the force. There were a number of outcomes, but I couldn’t help but to feel as though things would work in his favor. They would because he’d done the right thing. His chief’s words to him in regards to the meeting allowed us both to believe that. He said Adam would of course be reprimanded, but he still had a place there with them, and we both were grateful for that.

Adam’s confession caused the evidence to be reexamined to determine if Don’s account was entirely accurate. Upon doing so, footage that’d been taken from a bystander’s camera phone resurfaced, and the angle of the video was undeniable. It proved that Don did in fact pull the trigger second after Carlos Ruiz had already fired a shot. In the end, justice was served in its entirety with a brief investigation without the publicity of a trial, thus minimizing the emotional hardship on the Ruiz family, which I was grateful for. They’d all been through enough.

I went back to listening to the minister, but first stared at the large portraits of two young men: Carlos and Javier Ruiz. This ceremony was for them both—the community’s way of honoring Javi for his service to our country, and Carlos as well. While it was acknowledged that, yes, he’d made a fatal mistake that day in the convenience store, a young life was still cut down way too soon. I couldn’t help but to wonder, if given the chance, would he have been able to turn his life around for the better. Perhaps seeing Javi join the military to change
his
ways, or seeing Manuel have to serve time for his offense would’ve been all it took. Perhaps Carlos would’ve had a future if things had gone down differently that day—if better choices had been made.

But this wasn’t the case; he’d never gotten the chance to change. But now the city no longer placed that blame on Don’s shoulders. Carlos’s death was simply the result of leading a dangerous lifestyle. It was just unfortunate that he didn’t live long enough to break away from it.

The memorial concluded and Adam, Gabby, Rissa and I stood in the church lobby with Joan and Cindy discussing the sermon and how nice it was to put the case, and Carlos, to rest properly. Mrs. Ruiz spotted us when she exited the sanctuary and her eyes were on us for several seconds before she decided to come our way. Beside me, Adam’s body tensed. This would be his first time face to face with Rissa’s grandmother, mother of Javi and Carlos.

First, she spoke to Rissa, sharing with her a warm smile and a kiss to the cheek, saying something to her in Spanish like she always did. I loved that, loved that she would forever link Rissa to the other half of her heritage that she would’ve been taught by her father. Next, Mrs. Ruiz came to me, embracing me tightly as so many unspoken words and feelings passed between us.

“The service was beautiful,” I commented as we separated.

She nodded and tried to contain her emotions. “It really was. My sons would’ve been pleased.”

Adam shifted uncomfortably, trying to drift toward his moms’ conversation, maybe to give Mrs. Ruiz and I privacy, or maybe it was because he didn’t think Javi’s mother would want to be in his presence. I think it surprised us both when she called out to him, though.