Oppressed (18 page)

“
I’m going to end it,” I said
quickly. “I don’t care what happens. I know Tante Celeste will let
me stay with her and Maman will just have to get over the shame.” I
let out a low sigh and tried my best to sound brave, when in
reality I knew that words were easy to say and a lot harder to
carry through on. Once you were disgraced within the elite Creole
community, regardless of your color, it was pretty much over for
you.

“
And you,
mon ami?
How have you been?” I changed
the subject because I didn’t want what precious time we had left
wasted on my drama.

He grudgingly spoke. “I’ve been
accepted into Law School in Paris.”

“
Paris? That’s wonderful!”
I was so excited for him.

He brushed off my excitement as if it
were nothing. “I suppose. I still believe it was Pierre who got me
into the school.”

“
Oh please!” I gave him a
playful nudge. “You’re a genius and you know it! The fact that your
brother-in-law happens to teach at one of the most prestigious
universities in France does not mean that you got in because of
him. You’re meant to do great things, Antoine! You’ll come back to
New Orleans and defend the rights of all us heathens.”

He laughed. “We’re meant to do great
things.”

I smiled at him genuinely and felt
full of hope. I quickly looked over the balcony at Edmond and was
determined that no matter what happened I would no longer be his
slave.

“
Cecile?” he
whispered.

“
Yes?” I asked as I turned
my attention back to him.

“
Don’t forget…”

“
I know what you’re about to
say
,” I cut
him off.

He gave me a proud smile. “I think my
heathen is finally beginning to see the light.”

I grinned and looked over the rail and
at the back of Lucus’ head. “Perhaps I am.”

Chapter
Eighteen

Black Dust's Got Me Walking on
All Fours L
ike a Cat

Cecile LaNuit’s Home,
Rue de
Rampart

New Orleans, 1853

That evening after the opera I
lay in bed and thought of how exactly I would tell Edmond that I
was no longer in need of his all-so-generous protection. It wasn’t
easy as simply saying,
I no longer want your protection,
because the harsh
truth was the protector was the one who decided that he was no
longer in need of his placée rather than the other way around.
Thankfully, Edmond hadn’t come over tonight, probably because he
was waltzing with his wife at the Salle d’Orleans. I was grateful
because it gave me extra time to plot and plan. Some were
reasonable and rational plots, while others were a little
controversial:

Gettin' sick and tired of
the way you do

'Time, Mama, I'm gonna
poison you

Spri
kle goofer dust around your
bed

Wake up some mornin', find
your own self dead.

I got out of bed and paced from one end of
the room to other. A harsh wind whipped through the room and
brought with it the repulsive scent of death, rot, and misery from
the nearby river. It blew out the pink candle I had lit earlier and
left me in complete darkness. The room grew so incredibly cold that
every inch of my body was immediately covered in goose bumps. A
wretched weeping so pitiful and soul-crushing filled the air and I
knew that something tragic had happened or was about to
happen.

“
Oshun?” I whispered into
the darkness, as I hugged myself in a feeble attempt to keep
warm.

“
Why!” s
he moaned. “Why?”

I quickly ran to my dresser opened a
drawer and pulled out a jar of honey I kept hidden under a pile of
jewelry.

“
Please stop! Please,” I begged,
as I held out the honey into the darkness. Her screams were
deafening. “Where are you exactly? What are you trying to tell
me?”

There was a flash of light and I saw her
clearly, dressed in a white blood-stained gown. She was a gruesome
beacon of light amidst the darkness of the room. Her inky eyes
glimmered ethereally and she clutched her pumpkin purse to her
chest dearly as if it would be snatched from her at any
second.

“
I have honey,” I said
feebly.

“
I don’t want your honey!
I warned you but you wouldn’t listen and now he’s going to hurt you
even more. Go protect yourself! Go now!”

“
Ms. Cecile!” Justine
burst into the room. “Ms. Cecile! Monsieur is here! Why is this
room so dark?”

“
Justine, please tell Monsieur
I’m ill, that I can’t see him tonight. Please,” I pleaded hoping
that she would somehow understand.

She nodded. “Of course.”

After she left I placed the honey down
on my dresser, closed the door and pressed my ear against
it.

“
Ill? What do you mean
she’s ill? She was perfectly fine when I saw her at the opera,”
Edmond scoffed. My heart sank.

“
It happened so suddenly.
She’s in bed and has requested that no one visits her,” Justine
said feebly and without much conviction.

“
Don’t lie to me you
savage! Get out of my way! Cecile! Open this door now!” He started
to obnoxiously bang the door and with each bang my body trembled
uncontrollably.

I took a deep breath and opened the
door. What was the point of hiding? The tyrant had to be brought to
his knees. As I opened the door Oshun’s wails started to get louder
and louder but I ignored them. “What Edmond? What is
it?”

He stood before me with cheeks and eyes
ablaze. Little drops of rain rested on his thick black cape and I
could see that he had drunk too much wine, as his lips were stained
a ruddy color. He stood in the doorway and simply stared at me as
he always did right before he was about to start one of his
rants.

I wasn’t going to take it. I thought
of the conversation I had with Antoine and a sudden spark of
courage ignited within me. The flame I had been oppressing for so
long was about to burst. “What is it, Edmond?”

“
Who is he?” he
asked.

“
What are you talking
about?”

He leaned against the doorway. “The
man you were speaking to at the opera.”

“
A child
hood friend,” I replied
calmly.

His eyes narrowed and the fine veins on
his forehead started to throb. “How many times have I told you are
not to speak to any gentlemen as long as you are under my
protection?” he asked furiously. “How many times do I have to
remind you that you’ll no longer have my protection as long as you
keep stepping out of your place? Know your place,
Cecile.”

Perhaps it was the condescending tone or
the arrogant smirk that his lips held that caused me to lose all
control and brush aside the very real threat of him having me
whipped, jailed, killed, disgraced. At that moment all sense of
fear and logic flew out of the window and the words that came out
of my mouth were the ones I had wished I had spoken the first night
I slept with him. “I don’t want your stupid protection any longer!”
I screamed, as I clenched my fists. “I no longer want to see you or
have anything to do with you. I’m sorry Edmond, you may be happy
with the match, but I am absolutely miserable and I now longer want
to play the part of the noble victim. I’ve got a life to live as
well! If you’re entitled to a life than why aren’t I? What makes
you so superior?”

At my words Oshun stopped her
incessant wailing and got up from the ground and stood behind me.
She began to softly laugh and clap as if I had done something
extraordinarily momentous.

The muscles in Edmond’s face relaxed and
he placed his hand against my forehead. “Justine said that you were
ill. The words coming out of your mouth are a part of whatever
affliction you’re suffering from, so I’ll pretend that I didn’t
hear them, because clearly your illness has made you forget where
we live and who you’re speaking to.”

I removed his hand from my forehead and
distanced myself from him. “Leave,” I whispered. “Leave. The very
sight of you sickens me, and never once have I felt anything
remotely close to love for you. Be a gentleman and leave. Never
speak to me again. Speak to Maman. You two can figure out the
details of the contract. If I’m left with nothing I no longer care.
I don’t care keep it all! I no longer want my very soul to be
brutalized by you.”

My protest went unnoticed by him. “Oh,
Dieu. You really are terribly ill,” he whispered, as he quickly
grabbed me by the wrist and spun me around. He roughly kissed my
neck and I could feel my anger grow by the second. “You don’t know
what you’re saying. Has that slave put some sort of spell on you?
Is that why you’re saying these blasphemous things?”

I shook myself free from him and
distanced myself from him.

“
No. You’re the one who is ill,
Edmond. You’re ill because you feel the need to be cruel, dominate
and change all those around you. Maybe you’re the one who needs to
open his eyes. The world will eventually tire of people like you;
you’re afraid of that because it leaves you powerless. You thrive
on creating fear in others, but I am no longer afraid of you and
one day soon neither will the world. I’d rather die than be your
slave. I’d rather die than live with the illusion that I’m
free.”

He stepped closer but I refused to show an
ounce of fear even though my heart was racing. “You’re ill, so very
ill. My sweet Cecile is suffering from delusions that have left her
unable to see the truth that with great wealth there always will be
power. It’s the natural order of the world. I forgive you and I’ll
always take care of you as long as you remember where you belong, I
promise I’ll always love you as long as you never defy me again.
We’ll get a good night’s rest and in the morning all this madness
will be nothing but a distant dream.”

Revulsion took a hold of me at the thought
of going to bed with him. That would never happen. Ever again. “No,
you’re the one who is delusional because you insist that you love
me yet you despise the very nature of who I am.”

“
Ill. So very ill,” he
said soothingly as he stepped closer and closer. “I’m ignoring
every word you’re saying right now because if I were to take it
seriously you do know what that would mean, don’t you?”

Complete abhorrence, humiliation, and
anger overtook me. I knew the perfect way to get rid of him, but I
would need help. “Help me, Oshun; help me get away from this
monster. Help me and I’ve give you all of the honey and copper
jewelry you could ever ask for.”

“
Who in God’s name are you
rambling to? The illness is driving you mad, sweet Cecile.”
Edmond’s arms were around me. I shuddered as he drew his
wine-tinted lips closer and closer to mine and ran his fingers
through my loose hair.

I could feel Oshun’s strength and
power guide me as I gave him a swift nudge in the groin and
released myself from his grip.

Oshun moved forward and smacked him
over the head with her pumpkin purse which left him dazed and gave
me the perfect opportunity to make my escape.

I made a mad dash out of the room and
slammed the door behind me not daring to stop or look
back.

“
Justine!” I screamed.
“Where are you? Please get in here now!”

“
Ms. Cecile! What in
heaven’s name is going on?” Her dark eyes were wild and tufts of
curls stuck out of her brown tignon.

I grabbed her and pulled her into the
pantry and locked the door behind us. There was no way I was going
to put Justine in the middle of my little battle.

“
What…”

“
Shhh…” I hushed her.
“It’s safe in here. Monsieur’s had too much wine and I need to help
him calm down.” I lied. I didn’t want to tell her I was actually
about to do because it would probably freak her out.

“
But I could make him some
café au lait and he’ll be all better in no time.”

I shook my head as I took out my various
herbs, oils, candles, and other offerings. “I don’t think café au
lait is what he needs.”

“
Cecile, open this door now!
You’re mad! Your illness is causing you to act in strange and
savage ways. It’s all a dream! A bad dream. Let’s go to bed and it
will be over in the morning. I can make it all better.”

Justine looked at me in confusion. “He
sounds sincere, Madame Cecile. What are you doing with that?” She
eyed the materials I had gathered with outright disapproval and
horror.

As much as I loved Justine I felt like
smacking her at that moment. I brought my fingers to my lips in an
attempt to make her be quiet. If Edmond heard her voice he would
force her to open the door with threats and
intimidation.

“
Justine! I hear you. Open this
door right now.” His knocks became louder almost deafening. I could
hear my heart beat pick up pace to the point where it was as loud
as each knock.