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Authors: Judy Blume

Tags: #Humorous Stories, #Family

Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great (14 page)

BOOK: Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great
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"What toothpaste?" Mom asked.

 

   
Mouse said, "You see, Mrs. Tubman, Sheila had a lot of mosquito bites and my mother always says toothpaste will stop them from itching."

 

   
"So I spread toothpaste all over me," I said. "But now I want to wash it off."

 

   
"Is that your new toothpaste, Mouse?" Mom asked. "The one that smells like glue?"

 

   
"It doesn't matter what kind of toothpaste you use, Mrs. Tubman," Mouse said. "Any old kind will do."

 

   
"I never heard of putting toothpaste on mosquito bites," Mom said. "Next time I get one I'll have to try it."

 

   
That night, after my friends went home, Daddy asked, "Did you have a nice party, Sheila?"

 

   
"Oh yes!" I told him. "My slumber party was the best slumber party that ever was. Just like I knew it would be!"

 

   
"That's good," Daddy said, slapping the back of his neck. "Whew . . . I've got some really bad mosquito bites. Sheila, would you run upstairs and get me the toothpaste?"

 

   
"Don't bother, Daddy," I said, starting to laugh. "It really doesn't help at all!"

 

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

 

   
LIBBY is in love, for a change. This time he is fourteen and he works the movie projector at camp. His name is Hank Crane. I wonder if he is related to Ichabod. I asked Libby about that, but all she said was, "Sheila, you are very weird!"

 

   
On rainy days we see old movies at camp. Last week it rained and me and Mouse watched Libby instead of the movie. She sat right up close to Hank and we're not sure but we think they kissed a couple of times. I would love to tell my mother. But I'm afraid Libby would get me. She might let Jennifer loose or something.

 

   
When it isn't raining Hank is busy with his movie camera. He is making an original film of us at our activities. One day he spent a lot of time at pottery. He asked me to do some silly things, like putting clay on my head while I pretended to be the pottery wheel. Naturally I refused. So he got Russ to do it. I can't imagine what Hank's film is going to be like. I have the feeling I will never find out because I don't think it will ever be finished.

 

   
Libby says that Hank is very talented, which is more important than being good-looking. Even Maryann Markman likes him. I think he is really dumb to pick Libby instead of Maryann.

 

   
Next week is our last week of day camp. When it is over Marty says I have to take my swimming test. I know I will drown if he makes me swim across the pool. Then everyone will be sorry they forced me to learn to swim!

 

   
Mouse and the twins don't bother swimming regular anymore. They are too busy doing handstands and somersaults under the water. I will never be able to do tricks. I think I would be better off just staying far, far away from oceans, lakes, and pools for the rest of my life.

 

   
On Friday night we are going on a hayride. Everyone from camp is invited. We are dividing up into two groups,since we can't all fit into one wagon. Libby is very happy about this because she doesn't want to be in the same wagon as me. And I know why! She wants to be alone with Hank Crane! Well, I don't care. Who wants to waste a good hayride looking at Libby? I have never been on a hayride, anyway. Mouse hasn't either. But she says we will have lots of fun.

 

   
Libby spent all Friday afternoon getting beautiful. She even put on clean jeans and cut her toenails. Mr. Ellis called for us at 8:30 and dropped us off at camp.

 

   
The wagons were already there and kids were piling in. We were supposed to divide up by age. So Libby didn't have to worry after all. Denise was in charge of our wagon. One thing that surprised me was the horses. I didn't know they were going to pull our wagon. I thought it would be attached to a car. I am not too crazy about horses. Suppose they jump up in the air and we all fall out of the wagon? Or worse yet-they could go wild and pull us into the woods!

 

   
As I was thinking about whether or not I should really go Mouse said, "Come on, Sheila . . . let's get a good place up front."

 

   
"Up front" means near the horses, I found out. "I don't think this is the best place to sit," I said. "Let's get more in the middle."

 

   
"No . . . No . . ." Mouse said. "You have the best fun up here."

 

   
"How do you. know? You've never been on a hayride. You said so yourself!"

 

   
"My mother told me," Mouse said.

 

   
"Oh. How many hayrides has she been on?"

 

   
"In the olden days, when she was a girl, she went on lots of them."

 

   
"Oh."

 

   
The first thing I found out was hay isn't soft like I thought it would be. It is kind of sharp and it makes some people sneeze. Sam Sweeney started sneezing as soon as he sat down.

 

   
Our hayride began at nine. By then it was dark. Libby's wagon went first and ours followed. Denise brought along her guitar and we started singing right away. She played her Ann Boleyn song first to get us into the mood. After a while she said she would tell us a ghost story. I don't like ghost stories, so I decided not to listen. I can do that if I really concentrate, but it isn't easy. I have to think of other things the whole time the person is talking. I do it in school sometimes if the lesson gets boring. But it's harder to do on a hayride than in school.

 

   
We turned off the main road onto an old bumpy one. There were no street lights and it was very dark. There wasn't any moon in the sky and I was glad. Especially that there wasn't a full moon. Because werewolves only come out when the moon is full. Not that there's really any such thing as werewolves-I know there isn't-but still it was better that there was no moon.

 

   
Mouse leaned close and whispered, "This is Old Sleepy Hollow Road . . . the one where Ichabod Crane saw the Headless Horseman."

 

   
"It is?" I asked.

 

   
"Yes. And see up there . . . that's the little church with the graveyard behind it. That's where the Horseman comes from."

 

   
Denise finished her story. It was very quiet, except for Sam's sneezes. There were a lot of giggles. I think everybody was a little bit scared.

 

   
I pretended we weren't on Old Sleepy Hollow Road. I wished I was home in my bed with the covers over my ear. I don't know why I ever came on this hayride in the first place. As we got closer to the church I heard the noise. It couldn't possibly be him, could it? There isn't any such thing as the Headless Horseman. I know that!

 

   
The next time I heard the noise there was a flash in the sky. Oh no! It was thundering. We were going to have a storm! And here I am, out in the open, I thought. Out in a dumb old hay wagon! The lightning will probably scare the horses and they'll run wild- right into the woods-where the Headless Horseman will be waiting!

 

   
My heart started beating like mad and I was full of sweat. I couldn't stand it anymore. The only thing to do was bury myself under the hay. Then I'd be safe. Safe from the lightning and the horses running wild and the terrible dark woods and the Horseman.

 

 
  
"Sheila, what are you doing?" Mouse asked. "Sheila . . . come out of there. Are you crazy or something?" She tried to dig me out of the hay, but I wouldn't let her. Why should I come out? Let Mouse and the others get struck by lightning. Let them fall out of the wagon when the horses run wild. Let them get lost in the woods with the Headless Horseman!

 

   
"Denise. . ." I heard Mouse call. "Denise, help me. Sheila's under the hay and she won't come out."

 

   
I kicked my legs at her. They weren't going to get me out. Oh no! I was staying buried until I was home where it was safe.

 

   
But Denise is much bigger than me, and stronger too. "Sheila Tubman," she said, pulling me out, "what do you think you're doing?"

 

   
"It's going to rain," I told her. "I'm just getting ready for it. I don't want to get wet like the rest of you. So just leave me alone. I like it under the hay."

 

   
"You're really funny," Mouse said.

 

   
"No I'm not," I told her. "I'm interesting, that's all."

 

   
"You can say that again," Mouse laughed.

 

   
"Anyway," Denise said, "I don't think it's going to rain. The storm seems to have passed." She pointed to the sky. "You see . . . the moon's out over there."

 

   
I looked up and saw that she was right. There was a big, full moon! I kept my eyes shut for the rest of the ride. I wasn't taking any chances. If a werewolf ran out of the woods I wasn't going to be the one to see him!

 

   
Finally, we made it back to camp. I was never so happy to see Daddy in my life. "How was it?" he asked. "Did you have lots of fun?"

 

   
Mouse answered. She said, "It was great fun, Mr. Tubman. Just great! Wasn't it, Sheila?"

 

   
I tried a smile. "Oh sure," I said. "Great."

 

   
Now that I have been on one hayride, I don't think I will be in a hurry to go on another.

 

 

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

 

   
THIS afternoon I am going to take my swimming test. I hope it rains. I hope it rains and pours until we leave here. But when I checked the sky the sun was shining. And when I turned on the radio and listened to the weather report there was no rain forecast.

 

   
So I hope I get sick and the doctor says I can't go in the water for ten days. But I feel fine. Except for my stomach, which keeps jumping all around.

 

   
So I hope that when I get to the pool this afternoon Marty won't be there. And no one will be able to find him. Then I will never have to take my swimming test!

 

   
But when we got to the pool Marty was there, waiting for me. That's when I knew there was no getting out of it. I would have to take my Beginner's Test and if I drowned, I drowned! It was better not to think about it. Besides, chances were I wouldn't drown. Marty would probably save me. But if he had to jump in and save me in front of everyone, that would be as bad as drowning. Maybe even worse!

 

   
When I was in my suit Mom said, "Good luck, Sheila. And please don't be nervous."

 

   
"Me . . . nervous?" I said. "Ha ha. That's really funny."

 

   
When Marty saw me he called, "Hi, Sheila. All set?"

 

   
I didn't answer him.

 

   
"Okay, now here's all you have to do," M,arty said. "First you'll jump in and swim across the deep end of the pooi. Then you'll tread water for two minutes."

 

   
I don't know who Marty thought he was fooling. If he expected me to jump in and swim across the deep end of the pool he was even nuttier than I thought. He was more than nutty. He was even more than crazy! He was also stupid, dumb, and an idiot!

 

   
"Are you listening to me?" Marty asked.

 

   
"Oh sure," I told him. "I'm listening. But you know I can't swim across the whole pool!"

 

BOOK: Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great
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