Our Kingdom of Dust (14 page)

I stared at my face in the mirror for a bit, mentally prepping, trying to get psyched up. I was tempted to do that thing guys always do in movies where they splash water on their face after some really intense moment. I never understood what that was about, though. What good would it do to splash water on my face?

“Ah, why not?” I thought, turning the warm water on. I splashed water all over my face.

Great, now my face was wet. And so was the front of my hair. And also the collar of my shirt. Son of a bitch. Stupid Hollywood.

So, I basically ended up pacing in front of the bathrooms outside of the International Gateway for a half hour while I dried off. But at least it looked like the stains had come out of my shirt.

Resolute, I strode past the bag check, swiped my Annual Pass at the turnstiles, put my finger on the biometric scanner, and entered the park. “I’m a professional. Don’t try this at home,” I thought, as I walked like James Bond into EPCOT Center, turning right at the top of the hill. I was pumped.

Until I got to the Germany pavilion. Then James Bond ran off like a little bitch and I felt like a quivering bowl of Jello. I needed a boost of liquid courage, so I hit up the stand by The Biergarten and bought a Jagermeister shot. I downed the shot and immediately remembered that I really hated the shit. Great. Now I felt like I was going to spew all over everything. I ordered a Radeberger Pilsner from the booth to wash down the taste of the Jager. And now I was good and soused. Twelve PM in the afternoon and I was drunk.

Whatever. I was ready. I walked straight over to the meet-and-greet area on the far left side of the pavilion, ready to do whatever it took to make Lisa understand how much I liked her.

But she wasn’t there. So I stood around for a while, waiting. And then I waited a while longer. My buzz was wearing off. Shit.

I walked back over to the beer stand.

“Do you know when Snow White is coming back?” I asked, feeling like a total pervert.

“One-forty-five is the next scheduled appearance,” said the German Cast Member.

“Fuckity fuck,” I said. Ninety more minutes. “I’ll take another Radeberger, please.”

Beer in hand, I walked over to the railing bordering World Showcase Lagoon. I scanned the Germany pavilion and tried to do a mental walk-through of my impending meeting with Lisa. None of the scenarios I conjured up ended successfully. So, the plan was… what? To stand in line behind a bunch of snot-nosed kids, sticking out like a sore thumb, her obviously seeing me way in advance, which would totally mess with her interactions with the kids in front of me? That was awful. And then I’d get to the front of the line and go over to her and have, what, maybe thirty seconds to say something to her? What could I say in thirty seconds? It was a lousy plan.

Or maybe I could wait until she was done and then catch her before she went backstage? Her handler wouldn’t be thrilled, but I could deal with him. It’d be pretty weird, though, me just appearing out of nowhere and professing my feelings for her. She’d probably get all freaked out by me surprising her like that and run off.

I turned back to Spaceship Earth. I was in a foul mood and that wand was just making things worse. Why’d everything have to get all fucked up? Things were so much better when I was a kid. Easier, happier, less complicated. I kept staring at the wand, trying to wish it away. Who did I need to pay off to get that damn thing removed?

My pointless ruminations were interrupted by a soft tap on the shoulder.

“Shit, Jay followed me!” was my first thought. Dude was going to fuck everything up.

I turned slowly and saw long black hair.

Jay didn’t have long black hair.

“Hi, Blaine,” said Lisa.

I gasped, and without even thinking, hugged her as hard as I could. She hugged me back, hesitantly at first, but then tighter. I could feel her body shaking as she started to cry.

I pulled away, wiped her tears, took her hands, and… we just looked at each other. Her eyes had dark circles around them, her skin was breaking out everywhere, and her hair was a tangled mess. She was gorgeous.

I kissed her. And from the way she kissed me back, I knew that all the plans I’d been contemplating, all the speeches I’d been rehearsing… none of them were necessary. Everything was going to be okay. Better than okay. Amazing.

“Blaine, I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“No, no, no,” I said, brushing her hair from her eyes. “It was my fault. I should’ve found you, I should’ve tried harder to get in touch….”

“I wouldn’t have let you,” she said. “I would’ve done things that would’ve made you hate me.”

“Not possible,” I said, mustering a smile through my own tears. “Not a fucking chance.”

She smiled, too, wrapped her arms around me, and sighed deeply.

Everything I’d been worried and depressed about faded away. None of it was important anymore. Jay and the wand could go fuck themselves.

We stood there for what seemed like hours, just holding each other.

She broke away, finally.

“I have to go, Blaine,” she said. “I need to put my costume on and do my makeup. I’m already on thin ice. If I’m late for my meet-and-greet they’ll fire me for sure.”

“Ah, fuck Disney,” I said. “I’m sick of this place. Come back to Maryland with me.”

“What?!” she said, taking a step backwards.

“Seriously. We can leave tomorrow.”

“I can’t just leave, Blaine!”

“Why not? What’s keeping you here?”

“My job, for one. I like it here. I get to make people smile.”

“You spend all day pretending to be someone else! Hiding behind a character.” I pointed to her Dermablend-covered tattoos. “They won’t let you be yourself even when you’re not on stage! That’s not healthy! This fucking place is no different than The Dust. It’s an escape from reality. I know it makes you feel all warm and safe inside, but it’s an illusion!”

“I know,” she said, looking around. “But I think I need that.”

“Bullshit,” I said. “You kicked The Dust. Leaving this place will be easy.”

“But what would I do? How would I live?”

“You could stay with me,” I said. I thought of my house, tainted by Sam’s death. “I was gonna buy a new place anyway. We can look for one together. We’ll find your dream home. Your castle.”

Her eyes lit up.

“Really?” she said.

“Really. And you can go back to school, or start your own business, or whatever. I’ll support whatever you decide to do.”

She hugged me again.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” I asked.

“Yes!” she said, and started jumping up and down. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

I laughed, grabbed her, and kissed her. This was easily the best day of my entire, formerly pointless life.

She pulled away again, and looked at the line forming in front of the meet-and-greet. Little kids stood with autograph books in hand, excitedly awaiting the arrival of Snow White.

“Oh, Blaine….”

“Shit. Fine, I get it. Yeah, go. I’ve waited this long for you. I can wait a few hours longer.”

“Yay!” she said, jumping up and down again. “I’ll finish my shift and call you when I’m done. I should be out by ten!”

“Can’t wait!” I said. “And that’ll give me time to break the news to Jay.”

She froze.

“Jay?” she asked, her voice quivering. “What does Jay have to do with this?”

“Oh, yeah, shit. You don’t know. His house got foreclosed on, and he’s been staying with me for the past few weeks. But he’s been weirding me out lately, and the whole situation is giving me a bad Ricky Lu vibe. So I think it was about time for him to move on, anyway.”

“Blaine, you don’t know him like I do. He has a very dark side. Please don’t get him too upset.”

“I’m not going to boot the guy onto the street or anything. He’s been a good friend to me. I’ll pay for him to stay by himself in a single for a while longer, but the dude needs to get his shit together, go to therapy, and get a job.”

“He’s not selling The Dust anymore?” she asked. Something in the tone of her voice bothered me, but I shrugged it off.

“Nah, his secret ingredient hookup ran dry.”

“And he doesn’t have any left?”

“He says he doesn’t….” I paused, remembering something. “Shit. Now that I think about it, he did tell me that Theresa Skywalker tried to sell her stash back to him a few days ago. I wonder if he took her up on that? I’d be super-pissed if he did. I don’t want that shit anywhere near me.”

“No, of course not,” she said. “Me, neither.”

“Anyway, the kids look like they’re about to start a fucking riot! Take off, and call me as soon as your shift ends. I can’t wait!”

I kissed her, one final lingering kiss, and then she ran towards the backstage entrance, turning to wave before slipping into the darkness. I considered sticking around and watching her do her thing, but I really wanted to get one last final look at EPCOT Center before I left tomorrow.

So, I strolled around the park, trying to soak in all of the sights, sounds, and smells that had meant so much to me as a child. I sat on a bench and watched the sun set over Universe of Energy, as a monorail glided by. It was beautiful, and I’d probably long for it all again, eventually. But now it was time to go. I had what I came here for.

Chapter 20

There was so much blood. Jay was covered in it. The walls of the room, the bed, the carpet, they were all stained with blood.

I dialed 911 as Jay sat there, staring at the wall with that insane look in his eyes.

“911. What is your location?”

“The Beach Club Inn, room 5691.”

“What is the nature of the emergency?”

“Someone has been murdered.”

“Is the suspect still there?”

I looked at Jay. He was pushing his finger against a tattoo on the side of his stomach.

“Yeah, he’s here.”

“Are you in danger?”

I looked at him again. He was rubbing the tattoo with his finger. What the fuck was he doing?

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Okay, sir. An ambulance has been dispatched, and the police should arrive shortly. Is it okay if I stay on the line?”

I hung up the phone, realizing it wasn’t a tattoo Jay was rubbing. It was a huge gash. The skin had separated, leaving a six-inch oval section of fat and muscle glistening in the light.

“Bitch got me good,” he said. “Right over the Little Mermaid tattoo.”

The blood wasn’t all Lisa’s.

I spun around, looking at her seemingly lifeless body, wincing at the sight of her mutilated shoulder, bits of Charles’s statue stuck in the gore.

She twitched.

Holy fuck.

A bubble of blood expanded from her nose and burst.

She was still breathing.

I ran over to her. I didn’t know what to do. I flipped her over and sat her upright, nearly vomiting again as her left arm almost completely separated from her shoulder. It dangled by a few tendons, her EPCOT Center knuckle tattoos appearing and disappearing as her arm twirled from side to side before finally coming completely off and falling to the carpet with a wet thud.

A red-stained pillow was on the floor next to me. I could suffocate her. Put her out of her misery, like I’d done with Sam.

Fuck that.

I pulled off my shirt and tied it tightly around what was left of the area that used to be her shoulder. I grabbed the pillow and held it against the stump, pressing as hard as I could. I propped her head sideways on my lap. The Haunted Mansion Mouse Ears fell onto the floor.

“Lisa?” I said.

I heard a gurgle in her throat. She was trying to talk.

“Lisa!” I yelled.

One eye opened, and then closed.

Her mouth parted slightly, and blood dripped out.

“Blaine?” she said slowly, in a dreadful bubbling whisper.

“Lisa,” I said, crying now. “Don’t….”

“So… sorry…” she said. She inhaled, sucking blood into her lungs. She coughed weakly, but not nearly enough to clear the fluid. She was drowning on her own blood, and it was terrifying. “I….”

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” I said, tears streaming down my face. “Please, just don’t die. We’re going to live in a castle together, remember? So don’t die, okay?”

She didn’t respond.

“Fuck that bitch. She lied to you,” said Jay, drunkenly, still poking at the gash on his side. “Got off her shift early. Didn’t want you to know she was here. Said you two were leaving together, and she needed The Dust to get through the next few weeks.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said, wiping away tears. But I knew it wasn’t. I’d stood there that afternoon spouting off my plans for our happy life together, totally ignoring Lisa’s concerns about what a huge deal leaving the parks might be for her. She probably should have told me to fuck off. Instead, she came to Jay for The Dust, knowing she couldn’t handle such a sudden jump into the real world without it….

What an insensitive asshole I’d been.

Jay tried standing up, wobbled, and fell back onto the bed.

“Bitch fucking ransacked the place,” he said, waving his arm across the room and wincing as his wound ripped open even further. “Yelling about how she knew Theresa had given me a bag of The Dust! Ripped the whole damned suite apart, found the bag, and then had the nerve to try to give me her puny life savings for it? Fuck her. I could have gotten millions for it.”

“Why didn’t you get the fucking millions, then, you asshole?” I yelled. “You could have saved your house! You could have saved Miss Nancy! What the fuck were you holding out for?”

“I wasn’t holding out for anything!” he yelled back. “I never intended to sell it! Ever! It was a memento from a big chunk of my life, and I was going to keep it forever, in The Queen’s box.”

The Queen’s box. It had been sitting out in plain view under the TV since the day Jay arrived. I hadn’t opened it because I knew he’d freak out. I wondered if the notepad was still in there?

“I didn’t end up needing the money, anyway,” he continued. “I had everything I wanted right here. A good friend, a nice place to live, people cooking for me… no worries in the world. But this bitch was going to take it all away.”

He thrust his finger at Lisa. I nearly jumped up and strangled him.

“You’ve done a pretty good job of ruining everything all by yourself,” I said. “They’re going to stick you in prison for years.”

I stopped. Prison. He was going back to prison. That fucking bastard.

“You… you did this on purpose, didn’t you?” I said, slowly. “You actually want to go back to there, don’t you?”

“I’m not living alone, Blaine. I can’t do it.”

“You crazy son of a bitch,” I said. “I can’t even begin to fathom how fucked up in the head you are right now.”

Jay looked up at me, and then over at Lisa, and it was like he suddenly understood what he’d done. He started sobbing.

“I just wanted it to stay the way it was! I was so happy.”

“But this isn’t real!” I shouted. “It’s a fucking mirage kept alive for the benefit of rich assholes like me! In real life people don’t live in fancy hotels and get all their meals from Concierge Lounges and walk around a fucking fantasyland all day! In real life people have jobs, and they make budgets and cook their own food and wash their own fucking sheets!”

“That’s not a reality I want to live in,” said Jay.

And that was it. There was nothing left to say. So we just sat there until the police and paramedics arrived. I cradled Lisa’s head and stroked her hair, while Jay sat with his face in his hands, crying softly.