Out of Control (26 page)

“I think I'll go take a nap.”

“You need to lie down
now
?” Julia asked.

Audra nodded, gasped, then forced a long slow breath through her lips.

Julia's eyes went wide. She turned to the Kincaid men, who had crowded into their small cabin. “Get out.”

“What?” Rafe studied her through narrow eyes.

“You have to get out. Now.”

“Uh . . . uh . . . why?” Rafe looked from her to Seth, as if she was throwing all of them out because she didn't like his brother.

Which she didn't.

Even less now, because it was clear to Julia that Seth running into Audra had brought on this round of pains.

“Audra needs complete rest.”
If we're going to stop her labor.

But Julia didn't say that. It was too outrageously personal.

“She's been doing nothing but resting all day,” Ethan, the insensitive nitwit, said with his brainless smile.

“I need rest, Ethan. A lot of rest.” Audra headed for her bedroom. She didn't go toward the one she'd shared with Father. Neither Julia nor Audra had slept in there since he'd taken sick. Julia, Audra, and Maggie slept in Julia's room. The men slept under the stars.

“Well, go on in and rest.” Rafe gestured toward the back of the cabin. “We'll be real quiet while we get a fire going and get supper—”

“She's having the baby!” Julia clapped a hand over her mouth.

Audra froze. “Julia, honestly.” Audra leaned against the bedroom's doorframe as her cheeks turned a fiery pink. She'd almost made it before Julia opened her big mouth and blurted out the truth.

“Really?” Rafe stared at Audra's stomach so hard and in such horror, Julia wanted to backhand him.

“She just needs rest.”

Ethan, the idiot, smiled as if he'd just been given a juicy steak and didn't have a care in the world. His eyes had a panicked look, though, as they flickered between Audra and her belly.

Seth said, “It's my fault.”

“Yes, it most certainly is,” Julia said, jamming her fists on her hips.

“No, it isn't.” Audra turned away from the bedroom door and came back to pat Seth on the shoulder. “Now, don't you go blaming yourself. It's just time for the baby to come is all.”

Seth turned his wild eyes on Rafe. “Let's go get the doctor.”

“There's no doctor anywhere around.” Rafe looked helpless, which shook Julia badly. “The closest one might be in Colorado City, and I'm not even sure about that. We'd be all day riding for him.”

Julia couldn't decide if the men were desperate to help, or escape. She pushed her way between Seth and Audra as if to provide a human shield. “It is not time for the baby to come.”

“I'm not that sure how, ummm . . . I mean I don't know when Wendell and I . . . I . . . I . . .” Audra turned a shade of pink that Julia had never seen on a human being before. “I mean . . . uh . . . I'm not sure when it's
due
. When the baby is due. I don't know that. Not for sure. It's probably now. Right now.”

Audra squared her shoulders, and even pink she sounded strong and calm. “Yes, obviously it is due now.”

Well, fine, Audra can be in charge of calm. I'll be in charge of work.

“We'll get you in bed. With rest maybe we can put this off. The pangs have stopped before.”

“Not this time. The baby is definitely coming.”

Julia wasn't sure how Audra could know that. In truth, though she'd helped deliver Maggie, Audra had only called out to her at the last minute, waking her from a sound sleep. Then most of it was a blur. Beyond catching Maggie, Julia had no idea exactly what went in to bringing a baby into the world. The two of them had even questioned what to do with the baby's tummy and the long cord. It had taken every ounce of nerve they'd possessed to finally cut it off. Neither of them knew a thing about birthing babies.

Julia had kind of hoped she'd be asked to do nothing but catch again. And she would be confident about the cord this time. That had clearly been the right thing to do. And she'd be glad to give it a bath again, too.

“It will be a while,” Audra added. “It certainly was last time. So, yes, gentlemen. Though it isn't very hospitable, you're going to have to leave. The baby probably won't come until morning, but I'd prefer if you occupied yourselves elsewhere.”

“But it's too soon, Audra.” Julia slid an arm around Audra's slender shoulder and felt Audra's whole body tense up. Julia turned away from the men, to help Audra to her room.

Audra clutched her stomach. “Wait. Stand still. Let it pass.”

Julia did as she was told.

“Let me help.” Rafe appeared at Audra's side to slide his arm around her waist and make sure she didn't collapse. Julia shot him a grateful glance.

When Audra relaxed, she said faintly, “The pains are so much harder than last time.”

“I didn't help you at the beginning before. You went through most of it alone.”

“Yes, but it was very mild at first. It was hours and hours of pains. And they started out so far apart last time. I felt them most of the day before Maggie was born.”

“You did?” Julia had no idea.

“Yes, but I only figured it out late that night. I knew I felt awful, but I didn't even know what was going on exactly. I'd never had a baby before, and I'd certainly never seen one born nor talked with a woman who'd had one.”

“How can you be sure the baby is coming, then?” Rafe asked.

“My water broke.” Audra clutched at her stomach.

Rafe vanished. A door slam turned Julia to look over her shoulder. The Kincaids had all run.

Thank heavens they were gone.

Don't leave me here alone!

Both thoughts were at war in Julia's head. But of course it was best they were gone. At least they'd taken Maggie. She wouldn't have put it past the cowards to leave Maggie just because it was an abandon-the-girls moment.

“Help me, Julia.” Audra's knees gave out. “I need to lie down.”

Julia kept Audra on her feet by pure force. Where was Rafe when she really needed him? Gone! Typical man. Just like her father.

She was never more grateful for her tiny stepmother. Much easier to carry. She practically bore Audra's entire weight as they staggered to the bedroom. Julia eased her down on the floor. Audra's eyes were closed so tightly it wrinkled her smooth brow. Lines of pain were etched in her face and her whole body was rigid. For one black, furious moment, Wendell Gilliland was lucky to be dead and beyond Julia's reach. If he'd been here, Julia would have given him the beating of his life. His wife shouldn't be giving birth without even a bed to lie on.

And those worthless cowardly Kincaids were lucky to be gone, too.

“Julia, I feel funny. If I didn't know better, I'd say the baby is being born right now. But that's im . . . impossib—” Audra's voice broke. “Impossible. I can't . . . I can't bear this. Hours and hours like this. I can't survive it.”

Julia decided she'd better take a quick look. Audra didn't stop her. She seemed to be beyond modesty for the moment.

Julia adjusted Audra's clothing. Audra gave a loud shout that turned into a roar. Julia was just in time to catch the baby.

“No, wait!” Audra's head fell back to the floor. “No, this isn't right. It takes all day.” Tears leaked from the corners of Audra's eyes.

Julia had nothing to care for a baby. She awkwardly rested the messy, wriggling baby on the same blanket Audra lay on, and the little one let out a thin, wavering cry, then another until she was wailing.

“It's another little girl. Look at her dark hair.” Not the bald head Maggie had come out with.

The baby kicked and her arms flew wide and she cried with every breath. Audra turned to look at the baby, and Julia saw a look on Audra's face she'd seen before. When Maggie had been born.

“She's so tiny. Was Maggie that little?” Audra asked.

“It doesn't seem possible.” Julia really couldn't remember. “Until this moment I was thinking Maggie was
still
tiny.”

Audra twisted around to better see the little one. “She looks big enough, doesn't she? She's not born too early.”

“She looks perfect, strong and lively. Crying her head off. That's a good sign.”

Tears trickled down Audra's face. With hands visibly trembling, she reached for the newborn. Julia helped arrange the tiny one in her mama's arms.

Julia felt a connection that had to mirror Audra's. This little one would be surrounded by love all her life.

“How can I love her so much when I didn't love her daddy at all?” Audra stared at the baby, then blinked and raised her eyes to Julia. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that about your father.”

“No, I know how he was. But that doesn't change how much we can love this little one, does it?”

“And she has dark hair like him. Except . . .” Audra looked closer. “I think there might be a tinge of red to her hair. It looks dark, but dark red, I think, not brown. She'll look like you, I hope.”

“My mother told me once I looked like my father's mother. She was a redhead.”

“Good.” Audra shook her head and turned back to the baby. “Can you help me . . . help me feed her?”

Julia rolled a second blanket to prop Audra's head up a bit. Julia helped Audra arrange her clothing and balance the baby in just the right position. The strange newborn cry was something else Julia had forgotten. She hadn't realized Maggie's cry had changed until she heard the sound again. “What shall we name her?”

“I . . . I'd name her Julia.” Audra looked away from the baby to Julia and smiled. “But that might be confusing.”

It was an honor that warmed Julia's heart almost to the point of pain.

“It might be. Thank you, though, for thinking of it.” Julia ran one hand over the baby's head as Audra turned back to help with the baby's first fumbling attempts to eat punctuated by the wailing. “You're so much better at that than last time.”

Audra cradled the baby closer. “She needs a bath. And I don't want her to get cold.” With awkward desperation that made Audra laugh and cry at the same time, the baby finally latched on to eat and the room fell silent.

“I'll get a diaper and a blanket, then warm some water. We'll keep her wrapped up tight and you just cuddle her close. It's a warm day, but we want to make sure she doesn't get a chill, especially with the cool mountain evenings coming.”

Julia returned with the diaper and blanket, tended the cord, and wrapped the baby tight, all while Audra held her in her arms.

Julia carefully exposed each arm and leg, bathing the baby in warm water without letting her get fully uncovered. She positioned the diaper and finished the bath without disturbing mealtime.

“Your middle name is Lily, isn't it? Julia Lily?”

“Yes, Lily was my mother's name.”

“Lily, then.”

“How about Lily Sarah. Sarah is your middle name, right?”

Audra looked up from the baby. They exchanged a smile. “I like that. We were certainly in charge of bringing her into the world, weren't we?”

Julia's smile widened.

Turning back to the baby, Audra said, “Hi, Lily Sarah.” The glow of love in Audra's eyes made tears burn in Julia's. At that moment, Julia knew she had to have a child. She had to feel this powerful love. She thought of Rafe and wished she could have his child. She wanted it to be a child born of love, and she saw little sign that Rafe loved her. But Wendell certainly hadn't loved Audra, and yet Audra glowed. Julia could get love into her life with a child.

Julia adored Maggie, and she already loved Lily. But it wasn't the same. Nothing could be as beautiful as the radiant love shining on Audra's face. Feeling she was intruding, Julia left the room, doubting Audra noticed. She stepped into the front room of the cabin and broke down and cried.

For all the years she'd spent alone.

For her father who never loved her.

For the man who wanted to marry her and didn't love her, either.

For the glory of a new life and a mother's love.

Not wanting Audra to hear, she went outside as quietly as possible, and found all three men standing in a row, staring at the cabin. Ethan held Maggie in his arms.

“We . . . uh . . . heard the baby cry,” Rafe said.

“It's born already?” Ethan asked.

“She. She's born already. Audra had another little girl.” Julia reached out and tickled Maggie's tummy.

Seth said, “We need a doctor. And I need to go home.”

“We don't need a doctor,” Julia snapped.

Rafe pulled her into his arms. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, it's just an emotional thing to see a baby born. I'm sorry for the tears. Everyone's all right.”