Out of Control (25 page)

Bah! Get more sticks.

The need to explore the cave was like a maddening itch just beyond the reach of her fingertips. But she did her duty. Her duty to everyone while that cave held her duty to herself and God and to the whole known history of the world. She pared potatoes to add to the stew.

Bah! Chop up potatoes.

As she crouched by the fire dropping in the last of the potatoes, she peeked at Audra, who was bending over Maggie to adjust the blanket that covered her. Julia took a second to look once more at that cave entrance. Maybe if she got the stew going and Audra decided to take a nap and the men tarried with their—

A movement inside the cave drew her full attention.

Julia rose to her feet, staring. Had she seen something? It wasn't like when Seth had poked his head out. This was more just black moving on black. Had a cloud gone over the sun? A glance at the clear sky told her no.

Had a branch swayed in the wind to cast a shadow?

Possible.

She looked a long time and couldn't see anything more. It was not possible there was anything or anyone else in the cave. Finding Seth proved that. If so much as a mountain lion lived in there, Seth would have been supper long ago.

“What about my friend?”

A chill raced up her back and raised goose bumps on her arms. Seth had put the thought in her head. That was why she'd seen something.

If there was another person in there, Seth would have found him and scared him into running away . . . from his stench alone.

But where was Seth's horse? Why would he walk all this way? And from where? Rawhide? Colorado City? The nearest train was half a state away, and Seth didn't appear to be a man who could afford the train fare. And why come here? If he knew about this cave entrance, he was the only Kincaid brother who did. Julia was positive this second entrance to the cavern the brothers had explored as children had been unknown to Rafe and Ethan before today.

It was not possible that there was someone else in there. But the Kincaids had been clearly horrified to think Seth had left her down there. They'd want to believe someone was there. Rafe would use it as an excuse to block her explorations forever.

But three people in that cave all at once? Her, Seth, and someone else? It wasn't exactly a busy street corner in Houston, after all. She was imagining things, and to speak of her strange imagination would cause nothing but trouble. But even though she'd imagined it, she wasn't as eager to go back in the cave as she had been. A little spooked. Far more eager to have Rafe along for company. She was contented for now to stay out here and cook and care for Audra and Maggie.

Then later . . . tomorrow . . . she'd nag Rafe into going into that cavern with her. He'd promised after all, when he'd been wheedling her into marrying him.

She knew she'd have her hands full dealing with the stubborn man as it was. It would be impossible if she told him she'd been spooked.

The big dummy.

If maybe, just for a second, she pictured one of these uneducated troglodytes—bossy Rafe, Seth the lunatic, and that always stupidly grinning Ethan—choking on an undercooked chunk of potato, well, it was a sin sure enough.

But a woman couldn't stop her thoughts until she had them, now could she?

She prayed for forgiveness and added an onion to the pot, hoping a savory stew would make up for her violent daydream.

“Scrub up his pants, Ethan. He'll just have to wear them wet.” Rafe stripped his brother naked and saw Seth's scars, the old burns and some new ones that looked like he'd been peppered by a shotgun all across his back. Rafe almost eased up, but that wasn't how Seth wanted things. He hated pity. So Rafe tossed him in the stream.

Seth hollered, then came up sputtering. “Cold!”

Rafe looked at Ethan. The two of them laughed, tore their clothes off and jumped in.

Ethan screamed next. “It's like swimming in melted snow.”

Rafe only had a second to notice Ethan had thought to bring Seth's pants with him before Ethan threw them in Rafe's face.

Rafe shouted and dove. Before Ethan could move, Rafe jerked him under.

Ethan came up coughing. Rafe met his eyes, and the two of them turned to Seth, who was grinning . . . or at least he seemed to be under that beard.

“You're getting a shave and a haircut and the bath of your life, little brother,” Rafe said, advancing on Seth. Seth's eyes flashed like wild blue lightning.

The war was on. The three of them splashed and wrestled and laughed like loons for so long they started to get warm, almost, and clean, definitely. They'd wrestled like this all the time as boys. Sometimes a fist would land a bit hard or some buried resentment would come to the surface and the fight would get a little heated. But they'd worked it all out with their fighting and had gone back to being best friends afterward. Fighting with his brothers made having them together again more real.

Once they were exhausted, and half-drowned, Rafe turned to Seth. “Now we use Julia's bar of soap and give you a shave and a haircut.”

Seth ran his hands through his slicked-back hair, then tugged on his beard. An uncertain look flickered across Seth's face, and he looked down as if surprised to see he had a beard. “Sure.”

“It'll hurt,” Ethan said. “Better to wait until we can get a basin of hot water.”

Rafe nodded.

“Nope, let's get it done. I'm not much of a one to worry about a little hurt.” Seth went under again, and when he came up he shook the water out of his hair, twisting his body so Rafe could see his back. His scarred-up ugly back.

Rafe looked over at Ethan and saw that Ethan was noticing the new wounds. Rafe wondered if Seth still had nightmares.

“My knife is razor sharp. I shave with it all the time. Let's get rid of that fur.” Rafe turned away. He had his brothers again. His dearest wish. He knew they'd left because of him. Going into that cavern drove Ethan away. Being overprotective had driven Seth away.

So he'd change.

Except he'd promised Julia he'd go in that cave. And he had to protect Seth.

But he'd do it better. Ethan didn't have to know Rafe went into the cavern. Seth didn't need to notice he was being protected.

And what about Julia? He needed to take care of her. He didn't even like to admit how badly he wanted her for his wife. How was he going to control her when she clearly loathed Seth? Well, he'd figure it all out. He'd make it work. He had to.

He got his knife, checked the edge, and dove back in the water to get busy turning this wild man back into his little brother.

Ethan and Rafe had left with a furiously mad, subhuman, cave-dwelling skunk man and returned with a very handsome, wounded boy barely out of his teens.

Audra's ladle stopped in midstir. She couldn't take her eyes off Seth. He was gorgeous, and he looked so sweet and vulnerable. He was close in height to his brothers, and his hair was dark and cut raggedly short. His bone-white cheeks were raw and nicked from being shaved and having no sun on them, probably for years. And his eyes were a shining blue that seemed more alive than any eyes Audra had ever seen.

She rose from where she crouched by the fire, and Rafe hurried over to balance her. She jerked her elbow out of his hand. “I can stand up myself.”

Rafe rolled his eyes.

Audra winced. “I'm sorry. Thank you. I've just . . .” Her eyes cut to Seth and Ethan, both of them listening to every word. Well, fine, they could hear what she had to say. “When I was so scared about Julia being missing and Wendell was being so ugly about it, I . . . I made a promise to myself to stand on my own.”

“From a campfire?” Ethan asked. The idiot.

“Who's Wendell?” Seth rubbed his clean-shaven face. Poor confused baby.

Julia had wandered off muttering, Maggie strapped on her back, to gather more sticks. So Audra had the undivided attention of all three men. When Julia was around, none of them looked at her except to relieve her of any burden that came her way. All the help annoyed her, but the not being noticed wasn't so bad.

“I'm recently widowed from Wendell Gilliland.”

Seth's eyes went to her very round belly. She was tempted to whack him on the head with her ladle. “He always ran my life and he did a poor job of it. Right before he fell sick, I told him I wasn't going to live by his dictates anymore. Apparently the shock was too much and he died.”

Ethan laughed. Rafe rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face. Seth looked a little scared.

“I've been trying to do things for myself. You've been nothing but kind, but I can't seem to stop being annoyed that everyone treats me like I'm fragile and stupid.”

“No one said you're stupid, Audra,” Ethan said, in a tone that clearly called her stupid.

“Anyway, I apologize. Rafe, I appreciate you helping me stand. Seth, you look really nice. Much better, though the soaking wet pants can't be comfortable.”

Seth had on the broadcloth shirt Rafe had been wearing. Rafe was wearing only an undershirt. Audra had to avert her eyes from the pants. Seth's legs shined through in several spots. But that couldn't be helped right now.

“The stew is done. Why don't you come and get it?” She pointed at the pile of tin plates and spoons.

“No, let me serve the food to you,” Rafe said, then reached for the ladle.

A short tug of war ensued, but Rafe wouldn't be denied. Audra knew she was being rude, so she let him dish her up a plate of stew. Then Rafe picked up a plate and handed it to Seth. “Eat up, kid.”

They had enough tin plates now because Ethan had brought some. Julia came back with more sticks.

Rafe got up to fill a plate for Julia. She took it and turned to sit down but then stopped and stared at Seth. Finally she shook her head and sat beside Audra. “Well, you look a lot less like a madman. We'll see how you act.”

“We have to go back to the cabin now.” Rafe stood in front of them, his arms crossed, his face grave. He addressed them as if they were schoolchildren. “We'll leave our exploring for another day. Seth needs to change clothes and get some rest and a few days of good food in him.”

“Why don't you and Seth go on back, Rafe,” Julia said sweetly. Too sweetly.

Audra braced herself for the clash of the tyrants.

“Ethan can stay here with me and Audra and Maggie. I'd like to further explore that cave.”

Three voices sounded at once.

“No!” Rafe cut her words off with a slash of his hand.

“No!” Ethan shouted. Maggie jumped.

“No!” Audra set her mostly empty plate aside. She'd had a bellyful of everything today.

“I'd like to explore with you,” Seth offered.

“Please don't go back in that cave.” Audra dreaded the very thought.

“I have to,” Julia said. She was still eating, but she was chewing now with enough energy to wear her teeth down.

Seth turned to look at the black cave opening. “It's like going home.” He visibly gathered himself, and Audra's hand shot out to grab him. He wasn't nearly so disgusting now; she would have had a hard time even touching him before.

“Finish your food. Then we're going to my cabin.” Audra was watching carefully, and she saw Seth turn his eyes away from that cavern to meet hers.

She saw loneliness. Fear—wild fear. And unfortunately just a whisper of madness. Could a madman regain his sanity? Audra prayed he could. He turned back to stare into that cave, and Audra followed the direction of his gaze and thought she saw . . . something. No, nothing. She wasn't sure.

A clump of aspen stood between them and the cavern. She'd seen a shadow shift—that was all it had been. Shaking her head, she turned back to Seth. Her heart turned over and she softened her grip but didn't let go.

Some of the madness faded from Seth's eyes as they stared at each other. “We're going home, right?” Seth sounded so bewildered. “I want to go home.”

“Rafe and Ethan are visiting at my house. You're very close to the ranch where you grew up, though. They can take you there. But for today, let's just go back to my house. You can rest and eat. My husband is dead and his clothes won't fit you, but I'm good with a needle and you're so thin I can lengthen his pants and the sleeves of his shirts, maybe let out the shoulders a bit. I can figure something out so you can get into some fresh clothes.”

“Fresh clothes?” Seth looked down and stared at his knee, clearly visible through his tattered pants. His hands were battered. His neck was stained with what must be dirt, though it had been scrubbed almost raw. His hair was much better, hacked off with a knife so it was ragged but short. Birds could've built nests in there before.

Seth poked at his skin through the knee hole and began to hum. Then a stick fell in the fire and drew his attention, and he stared at the fire as if it owned his soul.

Definitely a whisper of madness.

Audra got the distinct impression he'd forgotten the rest of them were there. She reached out and rested one hand on his shoulder, and he jumped as if she'd pulled a knife. He knocked her hand aside so hard her fingers went numb.

Then his eyes locked on hers, and she saw the confusion and regret and apology. Then Julia hit.

“You get away from her.” Julia grabbed Seth by the arm and yanked at him.

Seth tore loose of Julia and began scooting backward. It took Audra a few seconds to realize it, but Seth glanced back and looked at the cave opening again.

They couldn't let him vanish back in there. They might never find him in that place. Audra was on her feet, pretty fast for a really round woman, if she did say so herself. She rushed toward the cave before anyone else figured out Seth's goal.

He jumped up, and she got there just as Seth tripped and stumbled into her. They both went down in a heap.

Seth caught her and rolled so his body took the brunt of the impact with the ground.

Before they quit skidding, three sets of hands were dragging Seth off of her. Julia was yelling threats and orders. Rafe had Seth in a headlock. Ethan very gently helped Audra to her feet.

“Are you all right?” Ethan asked.

Seth quit struggling at the question. He turned wild, scared eyes on Audra. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to go home.”

For one second, Audra was afraid Julia was going to throw a fist. She didn't even yell out a warning. She had bigger problems to deal with than Julia's attitude toward Seth.

“I'm fine.” She was anything but fine.

She did her very best to keep a composed expression on her face when the truth was, she needed very badly to panic. When she'd landed on top of Seth, she'd felt a gush of liquid that could only be one thing.

So how did a woman with a sturdy backbone act?

Now was
not
the time for the truth. “Yes. I'm fine. But I think we should get away from this cave, don't you? It seems to upset Seth. Let's get back to our cabin.”

“Yes, we'll go right now.” Julia's voice was as crisp as a ripe apple.

Rafe scowled. “We needed to hunt around some more. Lay out a house site.”

“Well, you can't do that if your brother is going to run for the cave every time he gets a little upset,” Audra pointed out.

“Especially when the wind blowing and the sun shining and the birds tweeting upset him.” Julia kept an arm around Audra while Ethan supported her from the other side.

“Yeah, let's go. We can do this later.” Ethan wasn't smiling. “Seth, Rafe, saddle the horses. I think I'd better stay with Audra.”

And he was giving orders to Rafe. Another surprising event.

Rafe obeyed him, dragging Seth along. Now Ethan just needed to make Julia mind and Audra would know the world had turned upside down.

Ethan didn't even try.

Audra had her first pain before they got the horses rounded up and saddled. She did her best to hurry everyone along, but they all seemed bent on dawdling. With Seth along, they were short a horse. When Rafe offered to give Julia a ride on his horse, leaving Audra to ride alone, she was grateful because, though it had gone unnoticed, she was quite damp in certain unmentionable places.

Her stomach contracted again before they'd climbed to the vent to get out of this valley. It had taken much longer to have her second contraction last time.

She was glad she had the stone wall of the vent to lean on and the cover of darkness when the next pang hit so hard she almost collapsed. They were coming much too close together. Was she going to have pains of this intensity and this often for all those hours?

Once mounted up, they rode with ridiculous slowness back home. Of course, Audra wasn't exactly up to galloping anyway.

With the time spent bridling the horses and the snail's pace of the journey, they were over two hours getting home and the pains kept coming faster, hitting harder and staying longer.

She was going to have a baby much too early.

She didn't have any idea if a baby could live under those circumstances.

She started to cry.

So she turned her thoughts to the ride, counting off the steps, the minutes, until she could get home and lie down. There'd be no stopping this birth, not this time.

She had plenty of time, of course; babies could take a long time being born. But this laboring was much harder than the last one. With Maggie she'd had mild birth pangs for nearly a full day, and her water hadn't broken until nearly the end.

It looked for all the world like this baby was going to be much harder to deliver than the last one.

And Maggie had been about all Audra could handle.

And the baby was coming much too early.

And she didn't have any idea if a baby could live under those circumstances.

And she started to cry.

And then turned back to counting each step.