Outback Ghost (41 page)

Stella returned her gaze to Heidi and said nothing. Did he expect her to forgive him for being so utterly careless where her daughter was concerned?

They sat there in silence for God knows how long and then Adam finally let go of Heidi's hand and pushed back his seat. ‘I need to go to the bathroom. Can I get you a drink or anything on my way back?'

‘You're not family,' she replied, without even looking up at him. ‘There's no need to come back.'

Stella squeezed her lips tightly together as she listened to his footsteps fade into the distance. Tears threatened. The truth was her anger had begun to unravel the moment she'd walked in and seen him holding Heidi's hand but she couldn't afford to get all emotional over him now. Adam might be feeling guilty about what had happened but he'd get over it soon enough, whereas she not only had to recover from the shock of almost losing her daughter but also the ache in her heart that the fantasy life she'd been living since coming to Bunyip Bay was at its end.

It had always been her and Heidi against the world. She'd almost forgotten that the last few weeks but today's events had been a nasty reminder. Thank the Lord it hadn't been worse. She couldn't even contemplate life without Heidi and she'd do anything to make sure something like this
never
happened again.

Feeling like shit on the bottom of a shoe, Adam walked out into the waiting room to a crowd of familiar faces. It took less than a second for him to register his mother's.

‘Mum? What are you doing here?' he said, coming to an abrupt halt in front of her. His dad stood on one side of Esther, her sister and nieces on the other, and Ruby not too far away.

‘I called your father and got him to drive to me here,' she said, as if leaving the farm was something she did every day. ‘How's Heidi?'

Adam shook his head slightly, trying to wrap it around the concept of his mum in a public place, but the desperate voices of his family didn't give him time to do so.

‘Adam? Is Heidi really going to be okay?' Frankie demanded.

He nodded. ‘No, thanks to me. Man, I really fucked up this time.' He shoved his hands up into his hair and dug his fingers into his scalp, wishing he could do anything to turn back time. To steer Heidi clear of the snake or take the bite himself. He wouldn't have cared if he'd died, anything had to be better than the way he felt right now. He'd never forget the loathing in Stella's eyes as she looked at him and asked what had happened. And he couldn't blame her.

Once again he'd failed to protect a little girl under his care. All he'd decided that day flew out the window. No matter how much he loved Stella and Heidi, how could he ask them to become his family if he couldn't even be trusted with a Heidi for a couple of hours?

‘Adam, stop being silly.' His mum's sharp voice felt like a knife in the side of his already pounding head. He couldn't recall the last time she'd used such a tone with him, but he guessed it was before Lily-Blue had disappeared, when he'd done something like traipse muddy boots down the hallway. He looked up at her as she continued. ‘Heidi is okay again, right?'

‘She will be,' he only just managed.

‘Exactly, and I don't need a medical degree to tell you that that's down to you.' She gave him the stern eye. ‘I'm sure your skillful application of first aid saved her, so don't you go feeling sorry for yourself, my son. In my eyes, you're a hero.'

And then she pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around him. He only just managed to hold back his tears. He was no hero. Even if he had saved Heidi's life, she wouldn't have been at risk in the first place if he'd been more vigilant.

Pulling out of her embrace before he embarrassed himself, Adam scanned the small crowd around him. ‘Can one of you drive me back to the farm to get Stella's car?' he asked.

‘I will,' offered his dad. ‘I can follow you back for your mother.'

‘Or we can take her?' offered Ruby. ‘We'll stick around until you get back in case Stella needs us.'

They all nodded, happy with this plan.

Adam didn't care who took him, he simply needed out before his head and heart exploded. And thinking logically, his dad would be a better bet than travelling back with any of the females who'd no doubt want to talk and pummel him with endless questions about what had happened. For once he was glad his dad was a man of few words.

‘Mummy?'

Stella's heart crashed into her chest at the sound of Heidi waking. Oxygen flooded her lungs. She felt as if she'd been holding her breath since she'd returned Adam's call a few hours ago.

‘Oh baby.' Her eyes filling with happy tears, Stella leaned forward and cradled Heidi in a hug. ‘I love you so much.'

‘Where Adam?'

Stella pulled back slightly and looked into Heidi's eyes. She wasn't wearing her glasses and the lack of this barrier made the emotion in her face all the more obvious. ‘He's just outside,' she said, leaning forward to kiss Heidi's check. ‘How are you feeling, scrumptious?'

‘Whiskers had kittens.' Heidi beamed at her announcement.

‘I know.' Stella just managed the words, her throat choking up at Heidi's lack of concern for her predicament.

‘I want kittens.'

‘Maybe we can get one when we go back to Perth.' The way she felt right now she'd happily promise Heidi the world.

She met Stella's suggestion with a frown. ‘Don't want to go.'

‘Honey, you were bitten by a snake today,' Stella said, stroking back Heidi's hair. ‘It's not safe up here.'

For the first time in her life, Heidi pulled away from Stella. ‘Want Adam,' she said with a pout.

Stella tried to swallow the emotion rising within her at Heidi's preference for a stranger. ‘Okay, darling,' she said, standing, ‘I'll go get him.'

But when she walked out into the waiting room she saw everyone but Adam. ‘Esther?' she said, the older woman's surprising presence distracting her from her mission. ‘What are you doing here?'

In reply Esther closed the distance between them and pulled Stella into her arms. ‘I'm so sorry,' she said, her words almost lost in Stella's hair. ‘Thank God Adam was there or I don't know what we'd have done.'

‘Yes,' came a deep voice from behind them. Stella turned to see the doctor who'd been monitoring Heidi's condition while she'd been sleeping. ‘Mr Burton's quick and accurate first aid for snakebites saved her life, no doubt about it. She's one very lucky girl.'

A horrible taste filled Stella's mouth and guilt slammed into her as she thought about how awful she'd been to Adam. She'd let her love for him get in the way of the situation and blind the facts. As a country girl from way back, she knew no one could ever be blamed for snakebites. Instead of giving him the death stare she should have been kissing his feet in thanks. ‘Where is Adam?' she asked, scanning the faces surrounding her.

‘He's gone,' Ruby supplied and Stella's heart dropped to her stomach so she barely noticed the rest of Ruby's sentence. ‘Dave's driven him back to the farm to get your car and some clothes for you.'

‘Oh,' was all she could manage. Even after she'd all but accused him of trying to kill her daughter, he'd been thinking of what he could do to help them. One step ahead of her – she hadn't even thought about needing a car or supplies to get her through till Heidi was released from hospital.

‘Heidi wanted to see him,' she added after a long pause. The truth was she wanted to see him too. She needed to thank him for looking after her daughter, for saving her life.

As predicted, the drive back to Annadale didn't involve a lot of conversation between Adam and his dad and for that he was thankful. It was the first time he'd been completely alone with his father since Dave had come back and he should use the time to ask him what he planned to do now, but thinking about his parents' future was too hard when his seemed such a damn mess.

Dave took him straight to the homestead where he'd left Stella's car earlier that day. Mutton, unaware of all the drama that had happened as they'd left him tied up next to Goldie on the veranda when then they went to see Whiskers, started barking his head off at the sight of Adam. Finding the smallest solace in his pup's warm welcome, Adam ruffled the dog's fur, then let him off the chain for a quick run while he went inside to get the animals some dinner.

‘I'll do that,' Dave said, reading Adam's mind. ‘You probably want to be getting back to your girls.'

The way he said ‘your girls' caused Adam to do a double take. His dad saw his confusion and chuckled. ‘I may be an unemotional Aussie farmer but I'd have to be dead not to notice the way you looked at Heidi, and as for her mum, well… the last time I remember seeing that look was in my wedding photos. And Lord knows, despite all that's happened, I loved your mother with everything I've got that day and I feel exactly the same right now.'

‘Really?' Adam looked off into the paddock, not used to such sentimental conversations with his father. Still he was curious. ‘You think you guys can recover from everything?'

‘I've asked her to try,' Dave said. ‘And she's said yes. When I first left I felt freer than I'd ever felt in my life, but not long on the ship and I realised I didn't want to be free. I wanted to do these things but I wanted to do them with your mother. I hope one day she'll be able to find it within herself to come on a holiday with me, but the bottom line is, I'd rather spend my life here with her than be anywhere in the world without her.'

‘I'd better be getting back to the hospital,' Adam said, uncomfortable with the touchy-feely nature of this conversation and, if he were honest with himself, a little damn jealous of his parents.

‘Yes, you go be with your girls.'

Adam spun around to face his father. ‘They're not
my girls
, Dad. They're just guests that stayed at the cottage.'

Dave slowly raised his eyebrows. ‘Do you really believe that, son?'

‘It doesn't matter what I believe. Stella will never forgive me for letting Heidi get hurt. Hell, I'll never forgive myself.'

‘Does she know you love her?'

Fuck!
This was not territory he ever travelled with his father. ‘Who said I love her?' he spat with a shrug.

Dave chuckled and shook his head. ‘You go on fooling yourself if you want to but don't blame me if you lose her. I've not known her long but she's a damn good woman and you'd be a damn fool to let her slip away just because you can't lay your heart on the damn table.' With that Dave turned on his heels and headed inside.

Adam glanced down at the dogs and swore both Mutton and Goldie were giving him the evil eye. Retrieving the keys for Stella's car from the hallway table, he didn't spare either animal another glance as he headed down the steps towards the car.

His head churned with thoughts as he turned the key in the ignition. Whatever waited for him at the hospital, there was one thing he had to do before he faced it. He drove the fifty or so metres to the shearing shed, parked the car out front and kept a beady eye on the ground as he headed inside, using an app on his phone for torchlight.

He barely breathed as he climbed up into the shed and scanned the torch around his feet. The way he was feeling right now no snake should dare mess with him but he knew not to let down his guard. He moved quietly as he headed for the corner, hoping against hope that cat had conquered snake, but his heart crashed at the sight he came upon.

‘No!' The snake lay twisted and lifeless on the ground and Whiskers, equally as cold, lay not half a metre away. Lying on the castaway newspaper Whiskers had used for a delivery bed were the tiny kittens, soft mewls coming from their hungry mouths. He had to save them. Glancing around for anything to use as a basket, he spotted an old crate on its side and retrieved it. Carefully he lifted the newspaper and the kittens and placed them in the bottom of the crate. They'd been on their own a good few hours and he knew if he had any hope in hell of saving them, they needed milk fast.

Adam placed the crate on the passenger seat of Stella's car and drove fast but safely back to the house. ‘Thank God,' he said as he saw Dave shutting the front door. He hadn't left to get Esther yet.

‘What's the matter?' Dave called as Adam got out and ran round to the passenger side.

‘I need your help,' he shouted.

Dave ran, arriving at the car as Adam lifted out the crate. ‘Shit,' was all he said as he laid eyes on the tiny bundles of fur.

‘The snake got Whiskers.' Adam's throat filled with tears as he spoke, which was ridiculous. He was a farmer for crying out loud – he saw birth and death on a regular basis – but he couldn't let these kittens die. He felt as if he owed it to Whiskers but even more so to Heidi. And Stella.

Dave was reaching out to take the crate. ‘You get to the hospital, I'll look after these little guys.'

‘You promise?' Adam pleaded. ‘They
need
to be okay.'

‘I understand, son.' Dave met his eyes and Adam knew they were on the same page. ‘I've raised enough orphan lambs in my time. Kittens can't be that different.'

‘Thanks Dad.' Adam patted his father on the shoulder as Dave got a grip of the crate. ‘Maybe get Sally out to check them over,' he said, already on his way back round to the driver's side.

‘Will do.' Dave promised.

And as Adam got back into Stella's car and drove the half an hour to Geraldton, he replayed his dad's advice over and over in his head. As he pulled into the hospital car park, he came to the conclusion that life was a lottery. Most things you had f–all control over, but that didn't mean you had to roll over and let life play all the cards.

This time he was dealing them.