Read Oy!: The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes Online
Authors: David Minkoff
Tags: #Humor, #Form, #Jokes & Riddles, #Topic, #Religion, #Judaism, #General
Oy!: The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes (30 page)
Sidney passes by a pet shop on Lexington Avenue and notices a parrot in the window selling for $1,000. He goes inside and asks why it costs so much. The salesman tells him the parrot speaks five languages.
“Five languages!” exclaims Sidney. “Does it speak Yiddish?”
“Sure it does,” says the salesman.
As his mother lives by herself, Sidney decides to send her the parrot as a present—it’ll keep her company. So he pays the $1,000 and arranges for the shop to deliver the parrot to his mother. The next day he phones his mother. “Mom, Did you like the parrot I bought you?”
“Mmm, it was delicious!” she says.
“What do you mean delicious?”
“I made soup out of it, it came out great!”
“But mom, the parrot wasn’t for eating. It spoke five languages including Yiddish.”
“So why didn’t it say anything?”
Moshe was one of those men who had very few girlfriends. When, on rare occasions, he was invited to parties, not only did people forget his name but also they did not take what he said seriously. Even when he tried to be funny, nobody laughed at his jokes! So naturally he was very depressed. When his counselor suggested he should do something positive to impress his friends and neighbors, Moshe decided to rent a camel. He put on his khaki shorts and pith helmet and got on the camel. He then rode up and down Queens Boulevard looking very proud. Everywhere he and the camel went, there was a buzz of surprise. Passersby stared, pointed, shouted and talked about him. Moshe repeated this activity every day for a week. But then someone stole his camel and Moshe had to go to the police to report the theft.
“I have come to report the theft of a camel,” said Moshe.
“A camel?” said the sergeant, “OK, let me have some details. How tall was it?”
“Maybe six or seven feet tall,” replied Moshe.
“What color was it?”
“Light brown/gray.”
“Was it male or female?” asked the sergeant.
“Male,” replied Moshe.
“Are you sure?” asked the sergeant.
“Definitely,” replied Moshe, “every time I rode it, I could hear passersby yelling, ‘Look at that
shmuck
on the camel.’ ”
Jewish Jokes: A Clever Kosher Compilation. Copyright © 2005 by David Minkoff. Previously published in
Oy!.
ISBN: 978-1-4299-5955-1
First published in Great Britain by Robson Books, an imprint of Chrysalis Books Group plc St. Martin’s Griffin Edition / October 2007
All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
Oy!
“This clever kosher compilation generates giggles galore.” …Publishers Weekly
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