Package Deal (33 page)

“Sit with me, please. I have something to say to you. I know you must hate me, but please, just give me a few minutes, then, I promise I’ll go if that’s what you want.”

He didn’t resist her, and she pulled him down beside her on the bench, imagining the many times he must have sat there, helping Gary cast or remove a wriggling mullet from a tangled line. Her heart warmed, her task easier now.

“I’ve come to ask for your forgiveness.”

Her well-rehearsed lines washed away on the swirling current of the murky water beneath them. No miracles, no magic. Her hopes fell flat. Couldn’t she come up with something better than that?

When his voice came, it was shaky. “Forgive you? I thought we were working on something special. It’s been years since a woman has meant as much to me as you did.”

His use of the past tense shook Kelly’s confidence at first, but his admission that she was special, not just another one of his lovers, encouraged her, giving her the strength to continue.

“I was scared, Steve. No, I was terrified. I know that now. All I want is your forgiveness.” She couldn’t look at him. “In the past week, I’ve been so miserable. I’ve felt so empty, so lonely. I was a fool not to trust you. I’ve kept so much from you, and yet you trusted me. I feel so stupid, so self-centered.”

Steve grabbed her by the arms, forcing her to look him squarely in the eyes. Kelly stiffened, afraid of what he might say.
 
Afraid he wasn’t going to give her a chance.
Always afraid.

“Kelly, I may be a fool for admitting this, but I love you. This last week has been hell for me.” He shrugged away, breaking their eye contact. “Unless you open up to me, this won’t work between us. It takes more than love. I can’t live with ghosts in the closet or shadows of your past moving in and out of my life. I’ve got to have your trust, or I have nothing.”

Kelly had never been so scared in her life, but she wasn’t sure whether her fear stemmed from the thought of losing Steve or knowing she had to say the words she spoke next. “I love you, too, Steve, and I can’t imagine my life without you. I made the most horrible mistake I’ve ever made by not trusting you. It wasn’t just you. Believe me. I haven’t trusted anyone in a long time. I didn’t even trust myself enough to think I might have been right about you. I doubted my own judgment. I created my own hell.” She dropped her chin to her chest. Several tears worked their way loose and trickled to her chin. She wiped them away with her hand.

“You’ve always been honest with me while I’ve been guarded and private, never sharing myself with you. Well, I’m putting myself on the line now, and honestly, it’s scaring me to death. Look at me.” She raised her hands between them. “I’m shaking like a leaf.”

He lifted her chin and forced her to look at him.

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, give me another chance,” she said, her voice shaking with emotion, “I won’t disappoint you. You’ll see—” Overwhelmed by her love for Steve and her desperation to have him accept her apology, Kelly wept against his shoulder.

“I’ll tell you so much about myself, you’ll beg me to quit. You’ll pay me to shut up. Oh, Steve, I love you, and I want you in my life. Lacy wants you in her life, too. We both need you.”

Without a word, Steve pulled her close with an urgency that surprised Kelly. She thought he would hate her, but at that moment she understood just how much Steve cared about her and how much she had hurt him.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered against his neck. She twisted in his tight embrace to see his face. “I promise I’ll never hide anything again. I’ll be an open book. I’ll tell you my whole life history, clear back to conception.”

He held her apart from him and gave her a funny look. “You know about your conception?”

She laughed. “A little bit. Snippets from my mom. Girls talk.”

A mullet jumped behind them, breaking the water’s surface with a splash.

“Could it wait until morning?” He tilted her face up and gazed into her eyes.

She laughed and fell against him, sobbing with happiness against his shoulder. “I swear, McCarthy, I’ll never distrust you again. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, now or ever.” Her gaze never wavered from his handsome face.

“Are you proposing to me, Pearson?” He traced her lower lip with his fingertip.

She blushed. “Uh, well…maybe, but it’s a little soon.”

“I was teasing.” He pulled her even closer. “I want to be your best friend. I need you to talk to me, share your mind and body with me.” He wiped her cheeks and brushed his lips where her tears left a moist trail. “Trust me, and if you do, neither one of us will ever be sorry. I feel it in my heart.”

“Oh, Steve—” She clung to him, and he silenced her with a kiss.

Kelly welcomed him, her lips parting in eager acceptance. Delirious with love for the first time in her life, she wanted nothing more than to discard her clothes and wrap herself around this man. She wanted to give herself freely, without limits or reservations, a total consummation, an unrestricted commitment to the man she loved.

Steve’s mouth burned along her neck. Using his tongue to part the opening at the neckline of her blouse, he tugged at the top button with his teeth, his hands caught up in their own exploration.

He pulled away, examined the crude bench and the rough planks forming the floor of the dock. He whisked Kelly up into his strong arms and strode back up the dock, across the yard to the house.

The sight of Lacy, still curled in the middle of the hammock, snapped them both back to reality. Steve gently dropped Kelly to her feet, exchanging mother for daughter in his arms. They carried Lacy inside and tucked her into the bed in the guest room then they fell into Steve’s bed, a frenzied tangle of limbs.

Kelly giggled against his chest picturing him fussing over Lacy. She loved watching him with her daughter.

“You’re very special, Steve McCarthy. Impossible to resist.”

“You and Lacy are my girls.”

He rolled on top of her and, straddling her, unbuttoned her blouse. Pinned beneath him, Kelly lay still, scarcely breathing, a heady confusion enveloping her. Button by button, Steve exposed her to his hungry gaze, his eyelids lowered with lust, his eyes glazed over with love. He ran a finger along the upper line of her bra. Kelly’s
breath
quickened, and she pressed her flattened palm to the swelling inside his jeans, rubbing him with gentle strokes. He groaned and reached down, unzipping his jeans and releasing himself from the restrictive confinement of the fabric. Already moist, the sight and feel of him against her bare stomach was all Kelly needed for his eager entrance.

They shed the remainder of their clothes.

“Do you think we’ll ever do this slowly,” Kelly laughed.

“Slow, fast, upside down, hanging from the chandelier. We’ll do it every way we can until we can’t anymore.” His voice was muffled against her hair.

She couldn’t have denied him, though she did hesitate for a moment, pressing him back with her hands planted against his muscular chest. Their breathing was warm and ragged, swirling between them. The intensity in Steve’s green eyes was her signal to go, and nothing she said now could stop him.

“What about protection?” she whispered, hating to spoil the moment.

Steve lowered himself over her, the soft hair of his chest tickling her breast. He kissed her, a slow, lingering kiss.

“I want to marry you, Kelly. Not necessarily this minute, but someday. Neither of us is getting any younger, and I really want a boy.”

His grin was infectious. The smile Kelly returned radiated with love. “Then a boy you’ll have, Mr. McCarthy,” she murmured against his neck as he slid into her, and they became one.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

M
aking love in the morning was even better than the night before, and like breakfast, he and Kelly went back for seconds. They showered, after which Steve set about cooking bacon and eggs for the three of them while Kelly and Lacy showered. Life was just about perfect for Steve. He was a healed man, and when Lacy and Kelly joined him for breakfast on the back porch he couldn’t have been happier.

“Lacy, don’t move, or you’ll spill your eggs all over Steve’s hammock.”

Lacy’s gaze stuck on Steve with adoration. “I want to sit next to Steve,” the six-year-old protested, eyeing her mother—where she sat beside Steve on the wrought iron swing—
with jealousy.
She had screamed with delight when she’d awakened
in Steve’s guest room.

“All right,” Kelly conceded. “You can sit here if it’s all right with Steve.”

He winked at her. “Sure, Lacy. Come on over here. Your old mom takes up the whole swing anyway. I need some elbow room.”

“Old? You don’t have to overdo it.” Kelly laughed, helping Lacy with her plate.

Steve chuckled. “What are we going to do when you’re no longer Pearson, and we’re both McCarthy?”

“Hmm. Could be a problem.”

“I doubt it.”

Kelly’s skin took on a warm glow.
She was even more beautiful when she was in love, Steve marveled, feeling as if he’d slipped on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

***

Kelly helped Lacy up beside Steve, her arm brushing his, triggering memories of last night in his arms. After loving one another all night, they’d swapped temporary vows and agreed to an August wedding. Kelly hoped Jill would be her Maid of Honor. For someone who’d been terrified of commitment, this new sense of completeness astounded her.

“Can I be McCarthy, too, Steve?” Lacy held her breath with expectation.

Kelly waited for Steve’s reaction.

“If you want. Three McCarthy’s sounds good.” He took a sip of coffee. “Four sounds even better. What do you think, Pearson?”

Kelly nodded and smiled at him, her heart filled with love and adoration. And trust.

Steve looked up from his eggs, his regard shifting to the neighbor’s back yard.

Kelly followed his gaze. Next door, a man left the shade of his screened-in patio and crossed the yard, stopping at the fence. He hung his head over into Steve’s yard.

“Hey Gary!”
Steve called out glancing again at Kelly.

When Gary saw Steve, Kelly and Lacy his dull eyes lit with joy. “Steve!” He waved. “Hi, Steve! Hi Lacy!”

Steve hadn’t explained to her about Gary yet, and now that the time had come, he appeared worried, filling Kelly with guilt. Didn’t he know she would accept Gary and love Steve all the more for caring about him? She sighed. They had so much trust to rebuild, so many things to learn about one another, and she looked forward to every moment they would share together.

“That’s Gary Benson,” Steve said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Kelly offered him her warmest smile to reassure him. “I know.”

His face filled with surprise. “How do you know?”

“I saw you two coming out of the theater last night. Lacy told me about Gary’s funny eyes, but until last night I never understood what she meant.” She knew she sounded a little crazy. It was time to come clean about her past and the resulting hang-ups.

“I want to explain my bizarre behavior. It’s time I open up to you—start being honest right now.” She took a deep breath before confessing. “Your relationship with Gary made me jealous. I felt resentful of those times you chose him over me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my ex-husband left me at home all the time, going out with the boys almost every night. If you’d explained sooner, maybe the incident with the police would never have happened.”