Painting Sky (23 page)

I let my voice get louder and the music upstairs ceased playing. I needed to finish this talk with Cody before either my brother, or Keith found out he was here.

“We don’t need to tell anyone about why we broke up,” I said, quickly. “If Keith or Ryan find out you cheated on me, they will get mad. I’m not spiteful enough to want that, okay?”

He was confused as to why that was important in our conversation, but it was. I didn’t want him getting hurt because of me.

“We’ll tell them we just decided to break up, okay? No one needs to know our business,” I said, hearing Keith coming down the stairs.

“But I don’t want to break up, Jane. I want you to forgive me, please, baby.” His voice was louder, as well, and, from the look on his face, he was starting to panic. He reached for me and I bumped the desk, trying to get away from his hold, which made a few books fall to the floor.

Keith opened the door, then, not bothering to knock. His face scrunched up when he saw Cody, and I could tell he hadn’t known we would both be in here.

“Cody? What are you doing here?” Keith asked.

“I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing in my girlfriend’s bedroom?”

Cody couldn’t fight me—he knew he didn’t have a reason for it—so he was going to turn on his brother. I couldn’t let that happen.

“Ex-girlfriend,” I stated.

“He doesn’t know that, does he? Have you gone behind my back, now? You always want what I have, don’t you, Keith?”

He was being ridiculous now, and Keith saw that he just needed to lash out at someone. He didn’t fall for his trap.

“Give her time, Cody. I know you’re mad at each other right now. Give her time and talk to her another day, okay?”

Cody shook his head and left my room, shoving his brother back and looking murderous. “If you touch her with a single finger, I’ll kill you.” He left, but paused in the hallway to turn back and smirk at his brother. “And so will Ryan, the only person who still cares about you.” He then left the house, leaving both his brother and me staring at the empty space.

What an awful thing to say, especially to your own brother.

“I’m sorry you got in the way,” I apologized, feeling like it had been my fault they’d fought. This was what I had wanted to prevent by omitting the truth about the breakup.

I hadn’t noticed that tears were running down my face until Keith pulled me into a hug. “You know you just need to say the words and he’ll be out of here,” he whispered into my ear.

I disentangled myself from his hold and shook my head vehemently. “No, I don’t want you fighting—not because of this. We’ll figure out a way to coexist. He’s never home, so it won’t be that difficult.” I shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant about my breaking heart.

It didn’t surprise me that Cody was absent the rest of the week. I went to classes and did the required work, all on auto-pilot. I had shut down my heart and, consequently, my brain. Everything was robotically made—even my drawings, which were worse than ever.

Our evaluation was just after Thanksgiving and, if I wasn’t careful, I would be in a big predicament with my parents. I could pretend for a few days, but not for the rest of the semester.

“Did you forget what day it is?” Shelby beamed beside me, after our classes.

Oh, right: Friday. Alcohol, guys, blah, blah, blah.

“Right,” was my only answer. I didn’t have the strength to even complain that I wasn’t in the mood to party. Maybe it would be good. Maybe I would find a guy who would be agreeable about my revenge plans—or Shelby’s revenge plans. I didn’t know, anymore, and I wasn’t feeling very vengeful. My mind just screamed to be kept blank for as long as I could pull it off. If it was up to me, it would be for a very long time.

“I have an outfit that will be a killer on you.” She eyed my body, taking measurements. I wouldn’t have thought so, since she was much taller than me, and had a bigger chest perimeter and more curves. I would look like a potato bag in her clothes, but I didn’t point that out. I shrugged and let her take me to her dorm room.

I hadn’t been in one before, so I took a good look around, taking in the place in which I would probably be living in the near future—if Cody started to spend more time at home, that was. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t bother moving. I liked the house, even if it was far away from our classes. I took pleasure in the quiet of it. I loved my beautiful room and I liked cooking in that kitchen.

I kind of even enjoyed Keith’s small presence. I’d been shutting myself in my room, but he always managed to get me cooking for him. I didn’t think it was because he didn’t want to do it, himself, but because he knew I needed to occupy my mind, even if for just a few minutes.

We didn’t talk much. He continued with his hot and cold demeanor and I never knew what mood he was in. When Keith felt that I was okay, he didn’t pay much attention. When he knew I was feeling down, he managed to keep me talking, even if, most of the time, it was about classes.

Shelby threw a couple of outfits to the bed and I didn’t see much fabric for covering either of us. “Try the skirt and the tank top,” she said, and I picked up the pieces, like they would bite me.

“Shelby, it’s freezing outside. They say it will probably snow in the next few days. Do you think this is enough?” I asked, not wanting to take off my tight, warm jeans and comfortable hoodie.

Shelby kept skipping around the room, choosing accessories and clothes, and ignored my remark. I sighed and changed.

I never cared much for taking my clothes off in front of other people, but, right now, it didn’t bother me much. Whether it was because of my shut-down mind, or the fact that I drew naked people on a daily basis, now, I didn’t know. I changed and stood in front of the mirror, feeling cold and ridiculous.

The skirt was too short and the top was too tight. I had no idea how they fit Shelby. It wasn’t me, and I stated as much.

“That’s exactly the point, Janie-girl. You need to get out of your comfort zone.”

The comfort zone talk reminded me too much of Keith, when he’d talked about my drawings. They were probably right. I had kept myself locked in my comfort zone for too long.

Maybe this would be step two in the Skylar makeover. The piercing in my nose shone in the mirror, almost taunting me. It was saying, “Do you think I changed your personality? Think again, innocent child.”

My brother asked me twice to take out the piercing, I ignored him both times and he stopped caring. If only my parents were that manageable.

“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Shelby asked, stopping with one hand on her hip and a strange look on her face. “You could invite Keith to come with us.”

I turned around to face her. I had been expecting this, but was starting to hope it was just my fears talking. Shelby had only wanted to take me out in the hopes that I would bring Keith along. Well, like she said, I needed a change. Janie-girl, who everyone stepped all over, was going to say no.

“I don’t think so, Shelby. We don’t get along, and, with him, I won’t meet new guys. Believe me: he’s almost as bad as my brother.”

She frowned, but the upset look didn’t last long, so I kept hoping she was taking me out as a friend and not only as a way of bringing Keith along.

After a painful half an hour of brushes being poked into my eyes, while she attempted to make me look older with make-up, Shelby went to the bathroom to change. I decided I needed to let Ryan know I was out with friends. He was always complaining I was too homey for my own good, but he just couldn’t make up his mind. Either I was too homey, or I needed to be locked in to save me from the world.

Ryan already knew Cody and I were no longer together, and, surprisingly, he hadn’t said anything. He’d just stood in the middle of the kitchen for a full minute, staring at the cupboards. Then he’d said, “Okay,” shrugged, and left for his next class—no questions asked. I suspected Keith had talked to him before I had and that was the reason he didn’t jump with joy or yell about him being a bastard.

“Come on, Jane. Let’s get you a stud to keep your mind occupied.”

I looked at her sideways. “A stud? Really, Shelby? I just want some quiet time with you.”

“Oh, baby, nothing about this night will be quiet,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows and worrying me.

We ended up going to a club nearby. The bouncer asked for my ID, but Shelby was able to convince him to let us in without seeing any of our identification. Let’s just say it involved showing off her cleavage to an almost indecent level. I just rolled my eyes and stepped inside close behind her, before he decided he wanted me to rearrange my clothes, too.

We sat at a table in the middle of the room, something I never liked. I enjoyed being able to engage the room in front of me—not being in the spotlight.

The music was so loud that we gave up on talking almost as we sat down. Shelby found a couple of friends that bought drinks for us. I didn’t give it much thought when she chose mine. I didn’t know any sophisticated drink names, anyway. It was easier to let go and let her decide, even if that was against my decision of being independent and not just a sidekick.

Shelby pulled me to my feet after our third drink to get us to the dance floor. I was feeling my inhibitions flying out the window, and, somehow, in the pit of my brain, I knew it wasn’t smart, even though that was the main purpose of this whole night.

A couple of guys invited us to dance. Later, we went to their table, where they gave us more alcohol: beer; it was probably the cheapest drink, but I was beyond caring.

One of the guys asked me to dance and I stumbled around to meet him in the dance floor. I was feeling even drunker than the last time, and, considering I’d made the huge mistake of letting Keith kiss me last time, I should probably have just called it a night now. I couldn’t find Shelby, though, and I had no ride home. We had hopped in a cab to get here and that’s the way we were supposed to go back.

I let Tony cling onto me and kiss my neck and chin, getting closer to my mouth. He was good-looking and seemed nice and not too pushy. This was a good opportunity to do what Shelby had suggested: let go. I would be someone other than good, old, plain Jane. I put my weight on his forearms, as I was feeling dizzy, all of a sudden, and my stomach started to turn. Last time, I hadn’t gotten to the part of throwing up. I guess, this time, I wouldn’t be spared.

“I need a bathroom.”

“Sure, baby,” he cooed into my ear. Was he so drunk that he didn’t realize I was about to throw up on him?

I pushed other people aside, while stumbling to the bathroom. When I spotted it, my stomach clenched again and I barely had time to get near the toilet before my dinner came up. After a couple of minutes of throwing up, Shelby appeared by my side.

“Are you okay, honey?” she slurred her words, but didn’t seem to be as drunk as I was. She was probably used to drinking regularly, but I wasn’t.

“Not really. Can you call a cab?”

Her face stilled and she looked away, setting her lips in a firm line.

“I kind of asked Keith to meet us here, using your phone.”

I had left my purse with her when Tony had asked me to dance. I couldn’t believe she had done something so wicked. She was using me to get to him, after all.

My stomach was settling, so I decided to look for Tony. I found him near the girl’s bathroom, waiting for us. He had been the one who called Shelby for me—he really was a good guy. I just regretted doing to him what Shelby was doing to me: using him to forget Cody. I should have suggested to him for us to be just friends and was about to, when he pulled me against him and dragged me to the dance floor, again.

“Are you feeling better? Do you want me to get you home?”

The world was still spinning around me and I was about to take his offer when someone yanked him out of my reach, making me stumble back and look for something to support myself with.

“What the hell, man?” Tony wasn’t pleased and I was about to protest, too, when the guy turned and Keith’s fuming eyes met mine.

“Keith,” I greeted him. “Shelby wanted you here. She wants to fuck you,” I said, getting closer and trying to say it like a secret, even though I was yelling to be heard. People around us looked my way, as if I were crazy.