Painting Sky (22 page)

C
ody kept calling my cell every hour that night, including at two in the morning. I got up from the bed and turned my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to him this soon, especially not on the phone. Was he stupid? He didn’t even bother to come home to see if I was okay.

The next day, I woke without any desire to get up. I wanted to stay under the covers and ignore the world outside, but Keith didn’t let me. He came to my room with a glass of milk and a French toast and sat on my bed, removing the protection of the covers from over my head.

“Ugh,” I mumbled, peeking over the green cover. “I’m sick. Not going to school.”

Keith chuckled and pulled the cover off of me. His smile dropped when he saw I was still in yesterday’s clothes. “I’m not your mother. I know all the excuses to not go to school. Breaking up is not one of them.”

It was my time to freeze. I hadn’t thought about Cody since I’d opened my eyes. I didn’t have a boyfriend, anymore. Four years ago, this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. I had never been one of those girls who couldn’t live without a guy hanging on her arm. But now, having lost the only boyfriend I’d ever had hurt like hell. It wasn’t that I wanted to get another one, though: I didn’t imagine I would be thinking much about guys in the near future.

Guys wouldn’t look at me, anyway, especially here, where I was still Ryan’s little sister, Keith’s best friend’s little sister, and Cody’s ex.

Guys had codes. They wouldn’t come knocking on my door any time soon. I was destined to be a virgin forever.

Keith shoved the food to me. “Come on. Today, you’ll have the exceptional opportunity of drawing me in class.”

My bugging eyes made him laugh. “Now I’m not even going to get up. No way!”

He shoved the toast into my mouth. “Yes way. Don’t be a baby. Try to think of this as a way to get back at Cody. You’ll be drawing his hot brother.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

I snorted. “He wouldn’t know, so it’s not a good way to get back at him.” I shrugged.

“Do you have reasons to get back at him?” he asked, serious all of a sudden. He was fishing for more information on our breakup.

I ate quickly before pushing him out of my room. “If you stop asking questions, I’ll go to class.” His weak smile didn’t reach his eyes. Keith claimed that he didn’t want to be my friend, but he kept placing his nose in stuff that was none of his business.

I wanted to cry again, but, right now, I was still so mad that I just wanted to do what Keith said: get back at him. What better way than to use his own poison? I just needed to find a guy who wouldn’t cower before Ryan, Keith, or Cody. Where the hell was I going to find him?

At least my plans kept my mind working, until Keith and I reached the classroom. Now I was panicking again about drawing Keith naked. I just needed to pretend that we were at home, with him sitting on the bed, dressed, like the last time.

Professor Collins greeted Keith as she always did: with a kiss on each cheek. This time, she looked over at me, as if to grasp my reaction—like I would have any reaction, at all. She probably thought I wasn’t immune to his charms, like everyone else. I shrugged involuntarily and stormed to my stool. I just wanted this class to be over.

The teacher made Keith pose with his clothes on and we had to create quick drawings in succession. It was good for us to manage our time, she said. My sheet looked like a blur at the end. Most of the drawings were unfinished. I couldn’t possibly understand how this would help us, but she looked pleased with the outcome.

Keith smiled at me when he got down from the table and started my way. I must’ve looked around, panicked, because he frowned, following my eyes. He shrugged, believing I had no reason to feel embarrassed, and continued to my easel. I closed the sketch pad and we both silently fought for a hold on it.

“Not here, please,” I mumbled when he’d won the sketch pad.

Keith ignored me and inspected my work, not giving any hint about what he thought. How he could say I read him well, I had no idea. I couldn’t read him, at all.

“They’re good. You just need to work on the time, though. If you know you just have a couple of minutes, you need to take advantage of that. Don’t worry about the details: grasp the whole picture and draw light, vague traces of what you see. Get it? I can pose for you at home, so you can practice.”

I didn’t think he meant to say it so loudly, or to embarrass me even more, but every ear in the room had caught the last part, and almost everyone snorted. I felt my cheeks burning with the spreading blush. He looked confused, first at my face, and then, as if he’d woken up and realized we weren’t alone, he looked around.

Everyone shut up immediately. Even Professor Collins busied herself with the papers on her desk, maybe not wanting to displease her favorite model and lose the opportunity to gawk at a twenty one year old, hot, naked body a few times a year.

I would have felt proud, if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone though Keith would be posing naked for me later, in the privacy of our house.

I gathered my stuff and almost ran out the door. It took Keith a minute to catch up to me.

“Wait, Skylar.” He grabbed my arm as soon as he reached me and spun me around to face him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

I shook my head to clear the air. “Never mind, they’re just stupid. I don’t have a boyfriend, anymore, so I shouldn’t even feel guilty for drawing you naked,” I said bravely. Keith looked confused with my outburst and he shook his head.

“Why does that have anything to do with me posing for you?”

I shrugged and kept walking, while he trailed along, still waiting for an answer. That’s when we bumped into Shelby and it couldn’t have been more awkward. Keith froze beside me, while Shelby gave him her most endearing smile. Here we go.

“Keith, it’s good meeting you here. You didn’t call...” she trailed off, playing with a strand of hair.

“Sorry, Sarah,” he apologized. Ouch.

“Shelby,” she corrected, letting her smile drop. A frown set in on her forehead.

“I think I lost your number.” Keith placed his hands inside his pockets and shrugged, uncomfortable. By Shelby’s face, I could tell she was about to yell from here to next week.

“Shelby, I need to talk to you. It’s kind of important. Can you leave this conversation for another time?” I played with my bag while managing to keep hold of the sketch pad.

She turned to me, almost as if she had forgotten I was there, and her expression softened. “Jane, what happened? You look terrible.”

That wasn’t what friends were supposed to say when you were feeling down, but I guessed she was taking my still-bloodshot eyes, dark circles, and pale skin as signs that I wasn’t feeling well.

Keith took the opportunity to flee to the parking lot, probably to go home. I still didn’t know what his class schedule was. He seemed to be home all the time.

I took Shelby’s arm, like she usually did, and started walking to the class we had together. She eyed me curiously. I had been the one practically claiming to have a life-or-death situation and now I didn’t know where to start.

“Cody and I broke up,” I blurted out. It was like ripping off a bandage.

“What?” she yelped. I tugged on her sleeve to keep her quiet. I didn’t want everyone to know about my problems.

“I need you to promise not to tell this to anyone. Not even Keith, got it?”

“He doesn’t know?” she asked, incredulous. I lived with him, after all: it wasn’t possible to keep this a secret. That wasn’t what I was asking, though.

“No, he knows about the breakup. He just doesn’t know why.” I paused for a second, took a deep breath, and continued with the next hurtful part. “He cheated on me.”

Shelby at least had the decency to look surprised. In high school, everyone had always said he was too much for someone like me. They wouldn’t have been surprised, at all. They would have just commented on how long it had taken to get to the end.

“I don’t know him very well, but, by what you tell me, that’s very strange. Are you sure, because sometimes you see—”

I shook my head, interrupting her. “No, I’m sure. He admitted to it after I caught him talking about it with her,” I answered, disgusted. I still couldn’t believe he’d slept with her. He’d given her something that was supposed to be mine.

Shelby transformed her face instantly from upset to ecstatic. “I know what you need: to get shit-face drunk and hook up with some random guy. He was your first boyfriend, right? I bet he was the only guy you’ve ever kissed! You need to expand your horizons.”

She kept going on and on about how much I needed to use other guys to forget Cody, as if it was possible. She was right about kissing only Cody, apart from that one time with Keith.

I wasn’t going there with Shelby, though. She’d just gotten the brush-off from him, and I wouldn’t throw ashes into that fire. I would have never considered that kiss as a betrayal of Cody, either. Keith had been drunk—he never would have done such a thing, otherwise. I had been just as surprised and inebriated, too, or I would’ve pushed him away sooner.

Later, when we got to class, Shelby was beaming and clapping her hands. I awoke from my thoughts only to realize I had agreed on a girls’ night out this Friday.

W
hen I got home that evening, Cody was waiting for me in my room, which bothered me to no end. How dared he? This was my personal space. I should have been able to avoid him in my own room, at least.

“Jane,” he pleaded, getting up from my bed.

“Cody, stop right there,” I extended my arm to keep him from getting closer. I could tell Keith was upstairs, because I could hear his music blasting. I didn’t want to cause a scene.

I lowered my voice, while shutting the door. He took that as a sign that I was forgiving him and stepped closer. “Stop,” I said between clenched teeth. “I agree with talking, but stay away from me.”

Cody looked pained. He even looked worse than me, in yesterday’s clothes with purple bruises under his eyes and messed up hair.

“I’m so, so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you. That’s why I never told you,” he started. I didn’t want to hear his apologies or the excuses that would come. I wanted to end this, clean and forever. I had thought enough about us during the nightmarish night I’d had. The only conclusion I’d come to was that I wouldn’t be able to forgive him for this—at least not enough to continue dating him. There was the possibility of becoming friends in the future, but not right away.

“No, stop right there. I don’t want to hear you. I want to talk, now.”

He sat back on the bed and stared at me, expectantly, probably waiting for me to bend to his mistakes.

“You hurt me, Cody.” I started. He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head. “There isn’t anything you can do or say right now that could make me forgive you. I said we were over and I stand by that decision. Don’t say anything. I don’t think it would do us any good.”

I sat on the chair in front of him, suddenly tired. “We had a good thing going for us and you ruined it. I want to keep this clean, though.” I gestured between us and he looked confused by my train of thought.

“I don’t want to have to yell at you or have you begging for forgiveness. I want to be able to one day look back and see how sweet you always were—how we were best friends for all these years, because we were friends, before. I want to be able to be your friend again in the future.”

Cody got up and started to pace the room, angry. I thought this was going well. I wasn’t throwing a fit. Isn’t that what guys wanted: girls that stayed composed, even when all they wanted was to throw the glass on the bedside table at his head and punch him, until there was nothing left to feel?

“How can you say that?” he asked in a strained voice. “How can you throw away our relationship this quickly?”

Now that glass was calling to me to pick it up. I crossed my arms to keep me from doing something I would regret.

“Throw away?” I asked, calmly. “Are you kidding me? I’m not the one who slept with someone else, Cody,” I said between gritted teeth. “Alexis was more important to you than me at one point. You should think about that.”