Panorama (20 page)

In the next period, when the professor returned after the break, he had indeed looked at the saying on the wall and found that
Preiß
was written with a sharp “ß,” and said that he couldn’t believe it, that it was a mark against The Box, as there had earlier been other painters and varnishers who were still diligent and who were respectful of the mother tongue, but these days no one ever cared about spelling anything right, illiteracy being rampant and causing everything to go to pieces. His own son, who had suffered a hero’s death in the war, would, even as a young boy, have been able to tell the person painting the saying on the wall how to spell the word correctly, and even Professor Felger himself had known the correct spelling as a young abecedarian, and he said that he had spoken with The Bull and asked him why none of the inspectors had noticed that the children were learning bad German, the corruption of the language outrageous, though he would let the office know that the shoddy spelling would have to be corrected. Then Professor Felger explained what kind of silly results can happen if you don’t spell things correctly, it being ridiculous to write
Rolladen
, for that’s actually wrong and sounds like something you’d eat, though it has nothing to do with that, but instead the word is
Rollladen
, being a combination of
rollen
and
Laden
, since it’s a
Laden
, or “shutter,” that you roll, which is why it’s not right to leave off the third “l,” for the third “l” is needed, and it’s not true that it looks awful. Whoever is not pleased by it should only recall that one must never corrupt the mother tongue, for through such carelessness one ruins both style and so much more, Professor Felger soon providing more examples to prove his point. Thus one should write
Dampschifffahrt
always with three “f”s, even if you don’t put a hyphen between
Dampschiff and Fahrt
, for it’s easy to see once you hyphenate the word how silly it would be to use only two “f”s. If you simply want to corrupt the language, then you could just write
Kaffeersatz
instead of
Kaffeeersatz
with three “e”s, but then you might as well say that two “e”s is already too many, and then just write
Kafersatz
with only one “e.” But when the entire class laughed Professor Felger said that there was nothing funny about it, but rather sad, for he was afraid that someday no one would know the mother tongue, and that it would be worse than in the time of Frederick the Great, under whom at least many things were better than they are today, since back then there were noblemen who had their hearts in the right place, and who would hang their heads in shame if they were alive today. But back then the language was terrible, since everyone preferred to speak French, the king himself setting a terrible example, bringing that idiot Voltaire to Potsdam, though today there was no longer any reason to corrupt the language so, there no longer being any Frederick the Great, and French is never used, since no one now knew how to do anything except play soccer and drive a car.

Early in the morning the pupils briefly visit the classroom, though they’re not supposed to be there at all, for soon the call for inspection sounds, which is held in the courtyard in good weather, and in the hall outside the classrooms in winter, the pupils having to stand in rows divided by class in front of their inspectors, while those who actually belong to Bemmchen are divided among the three remaining inspectors. The inspection of the two highest classes doesn’t take long, the inspector looking the pupils over just for a brief while before he has them turn around, after which he usually dismisses them, though with the other classes it takes longer and longer for each one, since the inspection is very thorough and arduous. You have to hold out your hands in order to show if they’ve been washed well or not, whether the fingernails are clean and not too long, turning your head so that the inspector can look at your ears, checking behind each one as well, shoes having to be presented in order to check if they are spick and span, while you also have to lift each foot, for the heels and soles are also checked, followed by your clothing in order to see if there’s a spot anywhere, each row turning around and bending, as well as having to lift your
jacket so that the inspector can see if a trouser button is missing. It all goes according to command, and there’s always something to be reprimanded for, since each inspector is tough, though no one cries or complains at inspection as much as Faber, who also hands out blows to the head with each reprimand. Some students are sent back upstairs by their inspector, and sometimes an older pupil accompanies them, since there may be shoes that need cleaning again, or your coif needs to be smoothed out, the throat or the ears washed again, the worst being when an older pupil takes on this job, since he can do what he wants with the younger one, and so he takes a hard brush and scrubs until everything is red and hurts, teeth brushing also sometimes needing to be repeated or something with the fingernails, or clothes needing to be changed. Such sinners must return to the inspector in order that he can see that everything has been put back in order.

After the inspection the bells sound again, everyone reports for breakfast, the line of pupils presses into the dining hall like a slow-moving cylinder, the Sprites already setting out the white enamel pitchers full of donkey piss, the pitchers themselves somewhat chipped and battered, the swill containing skim milk or powdered milk, which is what gives the barley-malt coffee its dirty gray color. Each group of students gets a pitcher and a saucer on which there are four minuscule lumps of sugar, each pupil getting two or three small biscuits with a thin layer of margarine spread on each, which tastes terrible, as if it were made of soap, the bread tasting like straw, all of it so dry that you have to wash each bite down with a swig of donkey piss. Yet these are hard times, it’s not even four years since the war, and one has to continually tighten one’s belt, as supposedly before the war there was more to eat at The Box, the biscuits covered back then with real butter. Breakfast lasts until seven o’clock, and at seven the bell rings again, at which all the pupils must be in the classroom for study hall, which lasts until eight, no one allowed to leave his place at his desk without permission, everyone needing to stay quiet, though whoever wants something must quietly go to the room commandant and whisper to him what he wants, which the commandant can allow or forbid, depending on how he feels, or you can go to the inspector who walks back and forth through the classroom, though no one is allowed to gab with his neighbor, because it’s a disturbance, while turning around on or scraping your chair is also forbidden. You simply take
your school things out of the desk and pretend, without playing around or fooling around or giving any sign, though no homework is done, as that should all have been done the previous day, and you need instead to get ready for what’s on tap for today.

Josef is still tired early in the morning, and so are other pupils but you can’t loll around and lay your head on the desk, for you can’t be a sleepyhead at The Box, because then you won’t grow up to be a proper man. Indeed, one must be brave in order to soon overcome the war that has been lost so that everything can be well in the world once again. Up till now Josef has always believed that everything will turn out okay once you’ve grown up, but now he always hears how terrible the world really is, every country run by scoundrels, and in Germany there’s nothing but traitors in charge, nowhere being as well run as The Box, which takes only good children from good families, it being a school that prepares you for life if you stay here the whole six years, for there are no bad influences, and anyone who doesn’t obey must be taken away by his parents, who will have to figure out for themselves what to do with such a misbehaving son, although none of this explains why so often most of the older pupils are so mean and priggish. It’s these who please the educators, who say that they are on the right path, and that one should follow in their footsteps in order to become as sharp as they are. Is it a crime that one is still young and not so dashing? And why pick on the younger ones so and give them such a thrashing, rather than help them and show them how to do things better, to become truly dashing and upstanding? Yet Josef tells no one what he thinks, for they would only make fun of him, and everyone thinks that he’s a sniveler, Inspector Faber having even said that Josef is a spoiled mama’s boy who still needs the proper upbringing to become a man.

One time a pupil, who was only one class higher than Josef, called him a “Czech pig,” because he was from Bohemia. This made Josef so angry that he said to the rascal that he was a German pig, at which the other boy went to The Bull and The Bull became incredibly angry, more upset than Josef had ever seen him become. Just before the long break, The Bull called Josef in, the rascal also standing there when he arrived, a number of pupils standing around, as well as a couple of adults, as The Bull asked loudly whether it was true that Josef had called the other boy a “German pig,” to which
Josef answered yes, it was true, but before that the rascal had called him a “Czech pig,” which was why Josef had said it back. At that The Bull looked like a cooked lobster and quite strongly asked whether he was a German, since in fact he spoke German and had no trouble doing so, but Josef was so upset and sullen and intimidated that he said nothing. He no longer knew what he should say, it was all the same to him what he was, and so he kept silent and just hung his head, though The Bull asked him even more emphatically the same thing again, and Josef continued to cower and to remain silent, as The Bull said again that Josef had to answer, at which he whispered in a monotone that hardly anyone could hear, “I don’t know.” Then The Bull laughed angrily and said, “That’s something when someone doesn’t know what he is and to whom he belongs! That’s the way it is with the Gypsies, who wander from place to place without a land of their own, surviving on whatever slips into their fingers!” Then The Bull wanted to know whether other foreigners could answer the same question, at which a young boy stood up who was from Haida in Bohemia, The Bull asking him, “Tell me again, what are you?” The young boy had proudly called out, “I am a German!” At this The Bull said nothing more, but instead thrashed Josef and ended up slapping him a couple of times, saying as he finished, “Just so that you know what you are! You got what you deserved!”

Josef couldn’t see or hear anything. The Bull had disappeared, the pupils let him go, and so he slowly crept off and felt ashamed down to his very bones, and more miserable than ever, and yet he didn’t understand really why he had been punished, or why the rascal who had started it all had not. The other could take pride in the fact that his attack had been allowed, whereas what Josef had said was not. Many days passed without Josef speaking to anyone, nor did anyone speak to him, which made him feel as if he didn’t have a single friend in The Box, nor did he want one, rather he wanted only to get away from here because he was so unhappy, even writing home to ask if someone could come visit, though he is told that he is being selfish, there is no way they can pay to make a special visit to him, for it costs a lot to go to The Box, and one must make sacrifices if he is to remain there. Then they told his father a bit about what he had said, yet they said nothing about what had been said to him first, although Josef did not want them to
say what had really happened, for he began to feel guilty, since everyone was mad at him and believed that he alone had done something bad.

There was no way Josef could write about what had really happened, for he didn’t trust the mail since it was censored in order to make sure that the pupils didn’t spread lies or report anything that could do harm to The Box’s good name. In general, you’re allowed to write a letter home only once a week, but nevertheless, you must do so, which happens on Sunday, there being always something to tell your parents about, except for those who live nearby. The gathered letters then go to the head of the family, all the pupils being grouped into families, Josef a part of Ojt’s family, the head of the family having to read all the letters from his family in The Box, there being nothing more for him to worry about, since it’s not really a family at all, and in fact he lets the oldest pupil take care of the pocket money that he is supposed to disburse each Saturday, the money amounting to no more than is enough to buy three little clumps of malt, the administration reimbursing the heads of the family for it, since ultimately it is the parents who must pay. If you really want to write home, you go to the head of your family, and if he consents, then you can write an extra letter, which the head of the family reads through, and if he has no problem with it he seals the letter and makes a small mark on the back so that the front office knows that everything is okay, whereupon the letter is stamped and mailed.

Ojt would never allow Josef to write about the pig incident, the nicest of the heads would forbid that, and Josef wants to forget about it anyway. After a couple of weeks nothing more is said about anything that happens in The Box, since by then there’s always something new that’s happened, and you can’t keep up with every incident. Several times things have been stolen from Josef, yet the culprits remain unknown. Once his wallet disappeared from his jacket in the washroom, once his locker was broken into and a packet of food from home was taken, though when he reported it he was scolded, since he shouldn’t have had any food in there. Another time Josef lost his key, and when he left his desk open he told someone about it whom he trusted, but the other said it didn’t matter, to which Josef added that he kept his stash of emergency money there, which the other also said didn’t matter. But the next morning the packet with the money was gone,
and Josef didn’t know who had snatched it, though the boy was shocked and said he was amazed how many thieves there were in The Box, and that something could just disappear overnight, after which Josef told Inspector Schuster about it all, but he only scolded Josef for having lost his key again, asking if Josef suspected anyone, to which Josef answered that he knew of no one, the packet never appearing again.