Paper Chains (4 page)

‘Hannah, this is insane. DON’T hang up! We need to talk, and don’t you even want to –’

What he thought she wanted to do, Hannah didn’t wait to find out. She whipped the phone away from her ear and jabbed the call end button before she could change her mind. She could guess though – in fact she was more than positive she knew what the end of that sentence would be – and yes of course she wanted to, but that didn’t mean that she should. She had to stay strong; it was better for everyone this way. There was no going back from what she had done and she needed to find a way to move on, no matter how painful it was.

She sat down on a low brick wall nearby and rested her head in her hands. She wondered if he would call back again straight away, but after waiting fifteen minutes she decided he wasn’t going to.

‘Do you hate me right now?’ she said out loud, without really meaning to.

‘Excuse me?’ asked a voice.

Hannah lifted her head swiftly to see who had spoken. A man stood in front of her, a quizzical expression on his face.

‘Oh, sorry, I thought I was alone, didn’t really mean to speak out loud,’ she explained.

‘No need to apologise. But maybe you need someone to talk to?’ He motioned to the wall next to her and Hannah realised how miserable she must have looked.

‘That’s okay, you don’t need to,’ she began, but he was already sitting down beside her.

‘Sometimes it feels good to get it all out, especially to a complete stranger. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?’ He gave her an encouraging smile. Something about the smile was a little bit creepy though, as if he was sort of leering at her. Hannah began to become aware of just how close he was sitting to her and then – even more startling – of just how quiet it was around here, deserted in fact.

‘Umm, you know what, I’m actually fine, thanks.’ She made to stand up and the man placed a heavy hand on her thigh to stop her. ‘Don’t be afraid, I just want to talk,’ he said quietly and his fingers briefly squeezed her leg.

Panic started to flutter in Hannah’s chest. How had she ended up in this situation? Suddenly her phone rang in her pocket. The noise startled the man and he loosened his grip. Seizing the opportunity, Hannah elbowed his arm away, leapt up and started sprinting up the river. She could hear footsteps following after her and his voice calling out, ‘Don’t run away, sweetheart, I just want to help you to feel better.’ And then rolls of hideous laughter. But she didn’t turn back. Evidently he couldn’t run as fast as she could and eventually his footsteps started to die away while Hannah continued to pelt down the pathway. She didn’t slow down until she absolutely had to – not until her chest felt so tight she thought it might burst and tiny lights were darting in front of her eyes – and even then she kept up a brisk jog. Finally she felt safe enough to turn around and check behind her. He was barely a speck in the distance.

Thank God.

She turned back and continued to jog, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she ran so that she could check on the call that had rescued her. It must have been Liam,
had to be
. He had saved her, even after everything she had done. Oh God, she so desperately wanted to be with him right now, wanted to curl up in his arms and hide from the world and tell him how sorry she was. She wanted him to take away the sick, acidic, burning taste at the back of her throat, to make the aching pain in her gut evaporate. But when she looked at the number she realised she was wrong. It wasn’t Liam at all. It was India. India had saved her.

Maybe she shouldn’t end that friendship just yet.

She jogged for another half an hour and waited until she was surrounded by people before she felt comfortable enough to stop and return the call.

‘Hannah! Where are you, babe?’ India’s voice sounded bright and animated when she answered the phone. Hannah felt instantly comforted. ‘Umm, I’ve just been for a jog, I’m by the river – not sure where exactly.’

‘Well, come and join us for a drink, woman! You missed the race but celebrations will continue, and this is the best part anyway. We’re at the Old Ship. Jump on the tube; we’ll see you here in shall we say, twenty? I’ll have a cold beer waiting for you.’

‘I don’t really know how long it’ll take me,’ Hannah began.

‘You better get moving then, see you soon!’

India hung up and Hannah couldn’t help feeling relief that she hadn’t been given a choice in the matter. She needed company, couldn’t bear the thought of going back to her flat alone right now – not with her flesh still tingling from where that man had touched her. She shivered involuntarily and started jogging again, keeping an eye out for a tube station. She hoped people weren’t going to be too dressed up at this pub because there wasn’t time to go home and change first; her shorts and T-shirt were going to have to do.

India was squeezing her way through the crowds, back towards her table and her newly adopted group of friends. She hoped Hannah was okay; she’d looked slightly alarmed when India had stood up to head to the bathroom. India was all for helping people, but she didn’t particularly want Hannah to become
too
needy. For goodness sake, if the girl couldn’t cope on her own for five minutes with a group of friendly strangers then perhaps she was just a tad socially inept? India was enjoying the mix of people filling the pub; it reminded her of the crowd you might find in a beer garden back home in Oz. Everyone was dressed in shorts and singlets, all with that slightly too rosy appearance that came from a day out in the sun combined with a little too much alcohol.

Finally she reached their outdoor table and sighed, a little exasperated at the sight of Hannah, sitting on a bench, her shoulders pressed against people on both sides, a giant beer clutched in her hands, her eyes lowered, avoiding conversation. As India circled the table to stand beside her, Hannah looked up at her and visibly relaxed, her tensed shoulders dropping at least five centimetres.

‘Who are all these people, more backpackers from your hostel?’ Hannah hissed up at India. India shrugged. ‘Umm, I think that guy’s name is Aiden, or Adrian maybe. But that one is definitely his sister, Sammy. Or cousin . . .’ India paused to think carefully. ‘No, cousin, yes that’s it. And that’s Brendan and Clare, I think they’re an item – or if not they ought to be, don’t you think so? Check out the way he keeps touching her arm, right? Anyway, I’m not sure about the rest. None of them are from my hostel; I just met them all today, watched the race with them.’

Hannah was looking up at India with eyes filled with awe. India felt like snapping her fingers in front of her face.
Stop it, it’s not that amazing.

‘Come on, let’s go for a walk,’ said India, beckoning to Hannah. Hannah managed to extricate herself from the bench seat while holding her beer up in the air as she tried not to lose her balance. They paused for a moment, watching as the space where Hannah had been sitting instantly vanished as the people either side of her automatically swelled and fused themselves together and India found herself wondering how there was ever room for her shy new friend there at all.

India linked an arm through Hannah’s and led her through the crowds and down some steps to a paved area overlooking the river.

‘Got the feeling you were getting a bit claustrophobic in there,’ India said, hoping she didn’t sound too accusatory, because what she really wanted to say was ‘Lighten up!!’ Instead, she continued, ‘Thought you could use a bit of fresh air.’

‘Thanks. Sorry, your new friends are lovely. I’m just not so good at meeting people and making conversation with strangers.’

‘You met me. Became my friend. I like you.’ India listed these things off matter-of-factly despite the niggling voice at the back of her head that was whispering,
At least I think I like you, but I tell you what, you’re making it difficult, girl.

‘Yeah and I still don’t get that,’ Hannah responded immediately. ‘You’re not the sort of person I’m usually friends with. Not in a bad way,’ she added in a rush. ‘I just mean . . . well to be honest, I don’t generally have friends at all, haven’t for a long time anyway.’

‘Why not?’

‘Not sure really. I guess I just forgot how to make friends. I moved halfway through high school, and when I changed schools, I lost all my old friends. The girls at the new school didn’t like me and from then I was just never any good at meeting new people, apart from guys. For some reason dating I could do – just not making friends.’

Ahh, so this explains her social awkwardness, to an extent anyway.
‘Why, Hannah, I do believe we’re getting somewhere.’ India smiled mysteriously at her.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, you’re starting to give me some honest answers, my girl. It’s very exciting. Progress!’ She shot her fist up in the air in a triumphant gesture.

Hannah gave her a startled look. ‘Umm, honest answers?’ she croaked nervously. ‘What makes you think I haven’t been truthful with you before now?’

India laughed. ‘Oh, sweetheart, don’t fret. I could just tell that most of the things you’ve been telling me have been bullshit so far. Like the marathon that you’re supposedly training for. Ha. Call me perceptive. It’s okay, I don’t mind. You have your reasons. I mean, we all have secrets, don’t we? It’s just that I’ve made it my goal to find out yours, because I get the feeling yours need telling. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to spill everything here and now. I get that it’s going to take time.’

Hannah gave her a slightly strangulated smile. ‘Ahh, you know what, I think I might get going back home. Got to work in the morning and it’s been a long day. You don’t mind, do you?’

‘Crap, scared you away, haven’t I? Will you stay if I promise I won’t talk secrets any more tonight?’

‘Thanks, but it’s fine. It’s nothing you’ve said – I just really should get to bed.’ Hannah pushed her still full beer into India’s hands. ‘Here, you finish this.’

She turned to walk away and India called after her, ‘All right, fine, you win for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow though. I’ll come and have lunch with you on your break.’

India shook her head as she watched Hannah nod her head in assent without turning and continue briskly towards Hammersmith tube station. For a moment she wondered why she was even bothering, but then she scolded herself. Hannah needed help; that was obvious. And she felt like there was someone else, hidden inside that insecure, slightly irritating outer shell. Someone who could possibly be quite a lot of fun. India glanced down at the beer that Hannah had handed her. Apart from a glass of wine here and there, she normally didn’t drink, but she was feeling frustrated. She wanted to save Hannah, but she also wanted to keep travelling; she didn’t usually like to stay in one place for too long. The fact that Hannah was holding out on her, that she knew she was going to have to be patient, coax the truth out of her, was making her feel fidgety.

After staring at the frothy golden liquid swirling around the glass in her hands for several seconds, she shrugged, murmured, ‘Fuck it,’ and lifted the glass to her lips to drink.

It was dark and the air was thick with smoke and heat. A low red light illuminated the walls – walls that seemed to be dangerously swaying. Or was it her that was swaying? A base rumbled through the floor and India tried to focus her thoughts, to remember where she was and how she had got here.

‘Fucking Hannah!’ She hadn’t been drunk in years. But one beer pressed into her hands and next thing she was absolutely toasted, leaning against the wall in some labyrinth of a nightclub, feeling decidedly seedy. She remembered moving on to spirits. Maybe some champagne at one point? And then shots. Ahh. She remembered piling into a cab with a few people at the Old Ship and now she was . . . where?

‘There she is! Thought you’d run off on us, sweetheart!’

India squinted her eyes to peer through the darkness. A dark shape materialised in front of her. Hot breath on her neck as he leaned in close. Too close!

‘Wait,’ she murmured as hands began to slither up and down her waist.
Who are you again?
Lips pressed against her earlobe and India racked her brain as she tried to remember who this was and why he would think it was okay to be groping her in the back hallway of a nightclub. A name was teasing the edges of her mind.
Nick? Nate? Tate?!