L
ee never called to make plans for the weekend like he said he would. He was giving me the space I asked for and yet I hated it. I never realized how much I hated not talking to him until he was silent. I was missing something I never knew I needed so much. The more time I spent by myself, the more time I spent thinking about the disease, and that was a horrible feeling. I missed his lighthearted humor and stupid cranes.
Even though being at work was a great distraction most of the time, there was a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me, “You have a disease. You are tainted. No one will care for you more than Lee.” Trying not to be involved with Lee seemed worse than actually being with him. At least when I was with him I was happy. Self-loathing didn’t exist.
I just needed to hear his voice or see his words. It wasn’t exactly keeping my distance, but friends still text one another, so I wasn’t exactly breaking any laws.
Me:
Hey
It was a simple text, but what the hell. I wasn’t sure what to type to be honest. Almost immediately, Lee responds.
Lee:
I was wondering when I was going to hear from you.
Me:
Why didn’t you text me then?
Lee:
I was giving you your space, plus you said you wanted to be friends.
Me:
That doesn’t mean ignore me, asshole.
Lee:
Ah, there’s the Kat I’ve been missing so much.
Me:
Whatever. So what’s new?
Lee:
Not much, working, paying bills, eating for one. It’s depressing really. Seems my friend doesn’t want to hang out.
Me:
I never said that. Why would you assume that?
Lee:
You never texted or called. I think that’s evidence alone.
Me:
What, are we on C.S.I.?
Lee:
HA, only if you plan to kill me.
Me:
Feed you to your uncle’s alligators?
I had to laugh. Even I thought I was being witty.
Lee:
So, why did you text me?
Me:
I may or may not have missed hearing from you.
Lee:
You missed hearing from me or you missed me?
Me:
Both, and besides, you said you would help me with my bucket list. Mardi Gras is just around the corner.
Lee:
How do you plan to get on a float though?
Me:
Don’t you worry about that. I have a plan.
Lee:
Can we hang out and check off more of these wishes this weekend?
My heart crushed a little to know our meetings wouldn’t be considered dates anymore. It made me incredibly sad, when I know damn well it shouldn’t
Me:
I was thinking a carriage ride, beignets and a stroll down Bourbon Street, or is that too much?
Lee:
Never. I think it sounds amazing, my friend.
His sarcastic response only made me want to disinvite him on my quest. Sadly, I cared too much.
Me:
Come get me around seven?
Lee:
Scared to pick me up in that car of yours?
Me:
Didn’t your mother ever tell you to never answer a question with a question?
Lee:
Like you just did?
Me:
Touché. See you around seven.
Even though Lee and I decided to go the friend’s route, I still felt a twinge of nervousness when he came to pick me up. I had worn my favorite skinny jeans, white t-shirt, brown suede jacket and my hair tied in a knot on my head. Although we were playing this friends game, something I clearly wanted, I still felt the need to tease Lee with my sexuality. Sadly, I needed the reassurance that I was still desirable.
My plunging V-neck tee showed just the right amount of cleavage whilst the knot in my hair said, “I care, but I don’t.” I kept my makeup simple with slight blush, mascara and a dabble of peach lip gloss. I strategically wore my knee high boots as a protective measure. The amount of time it would have taken me to get them off and then naked, would be enough time to slap some sense into me.
Lee was nothing if not punctual. At precisely seven, he was on my doorstep, knocking away. As I opened the door, I wasn’t positive it was Lee. Before me was, hands down, the…weirdest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen.
“Are those bacon roses?” I covered my mouth laughing hysterically.
Peaking around the stems was Lee and his burly smile.
“Friends don’t get real roses, they get funny, delicious roses,” he stated as he took a giant bite out of one of the buds.
Throwing caution to the wind, I dove in as well. They were the yummiest roses I had ever eaten.
“I’m convinced that bacon is its own food group,” I mumbled as I chomped away.
“And that’s a problem how…”
“Trust me, it’s not a problem at all.”
“Friend score 1,” he winked at me.
He took great humor in our friend’s compromise. He would probably rub this in for a good while. Somehow, I didn’t mind as much. It meant he was trying desperately to change my mind, which was oddly appealing.
“I do love bacon, and breakfast for that matter,” I snickered.
“I know,” he smiled brightly without showing teeth.
“How?” I looked at him speculatively as I rested my hand on my hip and cocked my head to the side.
“You savagely attacked the stack of pancakes and bacon when I took you out on our first da…”
“…date,” I finished. “It’s okay to bring it up. I’m not fragile.”
“Maybe I am,” he spoke honestly.
The awkward tension simmered in the air like crispy bacon until I finally spoke up.
“Well we have a situation here.”
“Huh?” he probed.
“Yeah. I’m not sure if I should put these in water, the oven or refrigerator.”
“I’d say, plastic wrap and fridge,” he chuckled, slowly regaining the lighthearted banter we had going on earlier.
“Sounds good to me, or we can just sit here and eat them whole?”
“They would ruin your appetite for beignets, and we can’t have that.”
“I like your thinking, Daniels,” I elbowed his shoulder, ready for an interesting night.
We finally made our way down to Bourbon Street just in time to catch a last second carriage in a wave of five. The carriage had a white horse, every little girls dream.
“I always wanted a pony as a little girl,” I squealed as I squeezed Lee’s hand. I was wide eyed in anticipation.
“Mission. Accomplished. Pony delivered,” Lee said proudly.
“You gotta help me get in.”
The great thing about Lee, he got me. I didn’t need to explain to him why. He knew. He comprehended my limitations, even when to push or let up. This was one of those tasks where I couldn’t fudge my way through it.
“Gladly. Your chariot awaits, my dear.”
He let me grasp the handle as I pulled with as much strength as I could. The remaining assistance came from a nice push on the behind
“That’s not exactly the assistance I needed, Daniels,” I chuckled nearly losing my grip all together.
“Hush your mouth, Dove. Take the help any way you can.”
I couldn’t see his face, but I could tell he was grinning his ass off.
“I think you just wanted to get your hands on my ass.”
Giving me the final push, “And?”
I gave him a WTF as I turned and pushed him off the step. Watching him stumble back was all it took before I curled over in a fit of laughter. With one quick step on the ladder, he was in the carriage and up in my face.
“Watch yourself, Dove,” he sneered. “You’ll get yours…when the timing is right.”
“Watching away. Bring it.”
“Sit down and shut up,” he said with a playful tone.
“Yes. Sir.”
I saluted him in a mocking manner as I made myself comfortable.
The carriage was a white buggy with what I learned had vis-à-vis seats. Come to find out, it means face-to-face. The plush, velvety, green fabric allowed for a squishy cushion.
“Monsieur Daniels, il y a des couvertures disponibles. Il n’y a pas d’autres réserves par votre demande,” the driver proceeded to speak to Lee.
“Je vous remercie, monsieur,” he replied.
“Um, you’re familiar with French?” I questioned.
“Oui. Et vous?”
I think he asked if I did too, but I wasn’t sure. Better to play it safe.
“Je parle très peu.”
It was true, I knew very little. Not enough to carry on a conversation and definitely not enough to decipher what the hell he just said to the driver.
“What did the driver say to you?”
“He said, ‘There are blankets available and no other guests per my request.”
“You called ahead?”
“Oui.”
I didn’t know what to say to Lee’s obvious attempt to win me over. Things like this didn’t happen in real life. Things like this happen to girls in chick-flicks, or in the era of Dean Martin. It was so perfectly calculated; I could feel myself wanted to ring out my praises in harmony as we twirled around lampposts.
We sat enjoying the ride, when the chill bit our noses a little too hard. Lee leaned forward, gingerly lifting the seat in front of us to expose a secret compartment where the driver had stashed extra blankets.
Masterful!
Lee fluffed out the giant tartan blanket, draping it across my lap.
“You must be cold,” I stated.
“Ugh, naw, enjoy,” he said as he let out a giant shiver.
“You are incredibly stubborn,” I said as I scooted toward him. Draping the blanket around our laps, I curled into Lee’s side. Resting my head on his chest, I looked up to meet his eyes.
“Don’t get any ideas, Daniels,” although a part of me wishes he would.
Lee wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me into his side.
“Never, Dove,” he said, giving me a sneaky wink. “So how is it?”
“How is what?”
“Your carriage ride?”
“Little bumpy, but worth it,” I grinned.
“Okay, okay. I’d say we had another successful bucket list checked off. Would you agree?”
“Abso-freaking-lutely. Thank you, Lee.”
“For what, Kit-Kat?
“For doing this with me. As much as I would like to think Jojo would like to help me, I don’t think she understands the magnitude of the situation.”
“Understandable.”
“The thing is you do understand. And she tries, God knows she tries. She just doesn’t get it. Does that make sense?”
“You need to give her some credit though. Yes, she doesn’t get it, but you can’t get mad that she doesn’t. Perhaps you just need to have a one-on-one with her.”
“Sometimes I feel she is walking on eggshells around me.”
“Maybe that’s the way she deals, Kat. If the roles were reversed, would you know what to say or do?”