Party at Silver Spires (9 page)

I'm not sure which club Emily and Bryony went to after school, but Sasha, Izzy and Antonia said they were going to the dorm to give each other trial makeovers and hairstyles to get ready for the party. I stayed in the library until I was certain they would have gone to supper, and then I took my time walking over to Forest Ash to drop off my school bag.

The Year Sevens are allowed to go to supper any time up to seven o'clock and our dorm are nearly always there right at the beginning. It was twenty to seven by the time I got to Forest Ash, so I was hoping that with any luck there wouldn't be any space left with Izzy and Sasha and the others, and I'd have to sit with people from other boarding houses, and just pretend to my friends that I'd forgotten the time. Then there wouldn't be any danger of the conversation turning to the party. My plan hadn't worked on Wednesday lunchtime, but this time I'd be even later, so surely I'd be all right.

I walked upstairs quickly and opened the door to our dorm. The sight that hit me rooted me to the spot. Sasha, Izzy and Antonia were still there, and the whole dorm seemed to be strewn with hairdryers and hair straighteners and little pots and jars and tubes and bottles of cream and make-up and nail varnish. Sasha's and Izzy's outfits and jewellery were all over their beds. I didn't even get as far as looking at Antonia's bed, as it was the furthest away from the door. I just had to get out.

“Hello, you three!” I said, as brightly as I could. “Hadn't we better go to supper?”

Antonia turned away and started tidying her things.

“Oh, Nicole, you've missed a really cool time, you know!” Sasha said excitedly. “Where did you get to?”

“I…I went to the library. Anyway…I'll see if I can save you places at supper, okay?”

“No, hang on!” said Sasha. “Look at Izzy's hair. Don't you think it's cool?”

I took a proper look at Izzy and told her she looked amazing, because she really did.

“And what about this?” Sasha went on excitedly. “My dress! Ta-da! When those girls told us it was an Oscar theme, I panicked a bit and phoned Mum to ask her to send me something really special, because I'd only got that outfit you saw before!”

She was gabbling away as she slid the dress off the bed and held it up. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw the beautiful dark blue dress, with its silky bodice and full knee-length skirt. I stared in awe as I took in every little detail. The top of the bodice and the bottom of the skirt each had a little panel of sparkly gems, which looked amazing against the plain blue.

“And these are my shoes…” Sasha went on, smiling happily.

They were very delicate with long lace ties, and they matched the dress exactly.

“You lace these round your ankles like this…” In a flash she'd whipped off one of her trainers and socks and was showing me the shoe. “Do you want to try the other one on, Nicole?”

I shook my head and looked at my watch. “Hadn't we better get going? They're gorgeous, by the way.”

“And this is Sasha's bag,” Izzy said proudly, as though she'd bought it herself.

It was a small clutch bag with all sorts of beads and gems set all over it. I was trying to imagine why anyone needed a bag when we were only going to be in the common room.

“So your mum sent you the dress?” I asked in a small voice, wondering if it was brand new or whether it had been hanging in Sasha's wardrobe at home.

“Yes! Isn't it cool?” Sasha squeaked.

She hadn't told me what I wanted to know, but, in any case, I was kicking myself that I hadn't just got on the phone to Mum and asked her to buy me something on her credit card and send it to me.

Yet I knew in my heart that Mum would never be able to afford to splash out like that, so really, when I thought about it, I was glad I hadn't asked her. She probably would have felt embarrassed and gone ahead and bought me something, but then she would have had to deny herself something else, and that wouldn't have been fair.

“Let's see what
you're
going to wear, Nicole!” Izzy suddenly said. “You still haven't shown us.”

I felt as though the blood had left my face. “I…I…”

They were all looking at me. Waiting. I had to say something. So I said the first thing that came into my head. “Aha! It's a secret! You'll have to wait and see!” And then I felt as though my insides were caving in and I hardly had the strength to stay standing up, because now I'd made everything a million times worse.

No one seemed to notice that anything was the matter with me though, thank goodness, because Sasha and Izzy had gone back to rushing around clearing away their pots and bottles and hairsprays and things.

But then I was just about to open the door to get away, when Izzy suddenly screeched, “Show Nicole your dress, Antonia!”

“It's really the coolest dress you've ever seen,” added Sasha.

“I saw it before,” I said turning to the door.

“No, this is another one. Go on, Antonia! Show Nicole!”

“Eet ees too late,” said Antonia, shutting her wardrobe door firmly. And when she turned round to face us, I saw something in her eyes that I'd never seen before – something fiery that I didn't understand, but it shocked me.

Izzy and Sasha must have seen it too, because they both looked suddenly embarrassed, and a bit sorry for me. It was obvious to everyone now that Antonia really didn't like me at all. Not even enough to show me her dress.

“Right, I'll see you over there,” I said, using every last drop of strength I had to try and pretend that I wasn't at all hurt and that Antonia didn't bother me.

But she did. And so did the party. And so did this dormitory. I had to admit it, I wasn't coping at Silver Spires. I'd never ever felt this low.

Waking up on Saturday morning was horrible, because the memory of the previous evening came flooding in before I'd even opened my eyes. I wished there was no such day as this day.

By lunchtime every girl in Forest Ash was buzzing with excitement about the party and I felt dizzy with the effort of trying to block it out. I could hardly eat a thing, but I didn't want to draw attention to myself, so I tried my hardest to force my lasagne down. The only good thing was that Antonia wasn't there. I knew she'd be here at any moment, of course, but I couldn't help feeling pleased that there wasn't a place on our table. For all I knew, she might have actually come into the dining hall already but chosen to sit on another table away from me, as she despised me so much.

My heart seemed to shrink whenever I had thoughts like this, but I couldn't help them.

“Are you feeling all right, Nicole?” I looked up at the sound of Emily's voice. I'd been miles away, staring down at my food and thinking miserable thoughts. “You've hardly eaten a thing and you look kind of…pale…”

“Yes, you do, actually,” said Bryony, putting her hand on my shoulder.

They looked so worried about me that I felt like bursting into tears, and I was about to assure them brightly that I was fine, when the most brilliant idea burst into my head. This could be the answer to all my problems. I would pretend to be ill. Of course!

“I've got a headache and I just feel…kind of weak…”

“Oh, Nicole! You poor thing!” said Izzy, putting her arm round me. “Shall I pour you some water?”

“Shall we tell Matron?” asked Sasha quietly.

“I can't eat any more,” I said in a thin voice.

“Do you want me and Izzy to take you back to Forest Ash,” said Sasha, her big eyes full of concern.

“I think I need to go and lie down, but don't worry, I can manage to walk back on my own. I'll just go slowly.”

“Are you sure?” asked Izzy.

“Yes, I'll be fine,” I said.

“You can ask Matron for some paracetamol,” said Bryony.

“And then you can have a nice sleep and wake up on top of the world and ready for a fab party!” said Emily.

“Yes, you don't want to miss the party!” said Izzy, looking suddenly shocked. “Are you sure you'll be okay?” she checked one last time.

I nodded and got up slowly. “Can someone take my plate?”

“I will,” came a chorus of voices.

I walked back to Forest Ash feeling a whole mixture of emotions. I was relieved that I was probably going to be able to get out of the party if I kept up my act, but I was upset about the lie. I was touched at the way my friends had been so kind and caring just now, but I was still angry with Antonia for being so rude last night.

When I went into Forest Ash, the first person I saw was Mrs. Pridham.

“Oh, that was a quick lunch, Nicole! You can't have been very hungry.”

My heart raced. “I…I'm not feeling well.”

Her eyes filled with concern as she put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me carefully. “Oh dear, what is it?”

“My head… And my legs feel weak.”

“Oh no! What bad timing!” She smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder. “Matron's actually off duty at the moment, but she'll be back in about an hour and I'll send her along to you. Would you like to have a lie down till then? I think that'd be best.”

I nodded.

“Come along then.” She steered me towards the stairs, but I didn't want her coming with me. I couldn't keep up the pretence of being ill, and anyway, it made me feel too guilty.

“I'll be okay,” I said.

“Well, if you're sure… I should take your shoes off and get right under the duvet – then you'll probably fall asleep, and who knows, you'll hopefully wake up refreshed and ready to party!” She gave me an encouraging smile and I tried to smile back, but I don't think it worked, and I could feel her eyes on me as I started to climb the stairs.

By the time I was outside our dorm I was exhausted with the effort of pretending to be ill just in case Mrs. Pridham was still watching, and I thought how nice it would be to get under the duvet and curl up and see if I could get to sleep. Then I wouldn't have to talk to anyone and I'd even miss out on the party preparations. I didn't really want Matron taking my temperature or anything though, because I knew it would be normal, and then all the house staff would try to chivvy me along and I bet they'd tell me the party would do me good and it would cheer me up and things like that, when they had no idea how wrong they'd be.

I pushed open the dorm door and immediately had a massive shock. Antonia was lying perfectly still on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

A small “
Oh
” sound came out of my mouth.

She didn't even glance in my direction.

I had no idea what to do or say, especially as I knew that whatever I said she would probably ignore. I wondered if she knew it was me just from my little
oh.
I felt stupid standing completely still, but it would be a bit embarrassing getting under my bedclothes when no words had been spoken between us.

Antonia hadn't moved at all and I suddenly wondered if she was ill. I mean
really
ill
.
Not pretending, like me. Feeling nervous and unsure of myself, I tiptoed towards her bed, just near enough to see her face. It was streaked with tears. I really couldn't ignore her now. “Antonia…” I tried softly.

She sighed and turned her head towards me, and then I saw that her eyes were full of new tears now and one or two of them were actually rolling down her face.

“Oh… What's the matter? Are…are you okay?”

She shook her head, which made the tears roll across her cheeks, but still she was silent. I bet she was wishing that anyone but me had walked into the dorm at that moment. I felt so sorry for her that I went right up to her bed.

“Aren't you feeling well? Shall I get…someone?”

“I am…unhappy,” she said, in the smallest voice.

Me too
, I felt like saying.

“Why?” I asked, because I couldn't think what else to say.

“Being here…”

“You miss your family?”

She nodded and her face crumpled and big choky sobs started coming out of her. “I don't…belong…here.”

I swallowed and felt a huge cloud of sadness weighing me down. This wasn't what was supposed to be happening. It was almost as though Antonia and I were acting in a film – the film of
Life at Silver Spires –
and Antonia had taken over my part and was saying all my lines and acting like the one who didn't fit in, when clearly that was me.
Wasn't it?

“Wh…why?” I managed to utter.

“Because I…miss my family…and my home,” she stammered in gulps. “And I do not understand Engleesh well…enough…and because…because…”

I wished I could reach up and hold her hand. That might make her feel a bit better, but I was afraid she'd snatch it away.

“…because of you.”

“Me!” It was like a punch in the stomach. “You're unhappy because of
me
?”