Passion and Propriety (Hearts of Honour Book 1) (39 page)

“Oh, piffle.” Hannah waved a hand in dismissal, though she was secretly hopeful. That William desired her she was in absolutely no doubt, but she knew too little of how a gentleman’s affections operated to be certain love necessarily accompanied passion. It was enough, for now, to know he enjoyed her society and admired her physical attributes.

“What about us?” Rachel gestured between herself and Naomi. “Now that we’re practically heiresses with a prominent lord for a brother-in-law, are we expected to marry some stuffy old baron with one foot in the grave? I may as well have settled for the despicable Mr Trowbridge if that’s the case.”

“Not at all.” Hannah sighed at her sister’s penchant for melodrama. “My hopes for you are the same as they’ve always been. That you find gentlemen of high standing, whom you respect and care for, and who will care for you in return.”

“What of love?” Naomi asked. “It doesn’t seem to be doing you any harm. I’ve never seen you look so radiant
.
”

Unable to suppress her smile, Hannah admitted shyly, “I highly recommend it.”

“What exactly are you recommending?” William asked, and she lurched to her feet. He’d entered with her father through the doorway behind her, and she feared they might have overheard. Noting William’s ingenuous expression, she willed her racing heart to slow.

“Our sister was recommending marriage to a wealthy, handsome viscount with an active social conscience, but I fear she’s found the only one in the empire,” Naomi said, and Hannah shot her a grateful look.

“I
have
oft been accused of being one of a kind, though I do believe marriage to your sister has changed the nature of the appellation. I’m exceedingly fortunate to have found her.” William captured Hannah’s hand and raised it to his lips. “As for my being handsome, Reverend Foster, I fear your daughters are suffering with vision impairment. Battle-scarred and fearsome is closer to the truth.”

“That description might have suited you at one point, dear brother-in-law,” Rachel said, and Hannah tensed at her sister’s teasing tone. “But married life suits you so admirably, your countenance is now more in keeping with a sleek and self-satisfied cat. What
I’d
like to know is what’s put that smile on your face?”

William’s cheeks took on a rosy hue, and the vicar required a glass of water to overcome a sudden coughing fit. It was only through sheer determination that Hannah managed to suppress a bout of hysterical laughter.

“What? What did I say?” Rachel asked, her question going unanswered.

“I want a full accounting at some point in the not-too-distant future,” Naomi whispered to Hannah as the girls were donning their coats. “Married life clearly suits you both, and I’d like to know why. The tales I’ve heard from older girls at the orphanage are all horror stories, and the information I’ve been able to glean about one’s marital duties are too ridiculous to be believed. Neither make any mention of the possibility for such happiness . . .
not
for a lady.”

Hannah considered Naomi’s request before nodding. If she could help her sisters to find even a fraction of the joy and contentment she was discovering with William, then it behoved her to do so. She’d heard it said knowledge was power, and what could be more powerful for a woman than a happy, satisfying marriage?

Chapter 31

Indisposed

Two mornings after her family’s visit, Hannah’s courses arrived. William had risen early, leaving her to sleep late after a pleasant but less-than-restful night. She’d been expecting the confirmation she wasn’t with child but struggled to hide her despondency.

“Don’t be discouraged, my lady,” Marianne said, misinterpreting her distress. “You’ve only been married a short while. These things take time, but considering your husband’s
diligence
, I doubt you’ll have to wait many months before you have happy news to share.”

Hannah refrained from comment.

“Would you like me to inform His Lordship’s valet you are indisposed?” Marianne asked.

“Why ever would I want you to do that?” Hannah’s tone was sharper than she intended, and her maid’s face fell.

“To save you the embarrassment of having to broach such an indelicate subject with your husband,” she said warily. “And so His Lordship will know not to disturb you this evening. If he’s not informed, it could be
awkward
for you.”

Hannah sighed and found herself agreeing with Naomi’s almost blasphemous declaration that life as a commoner appeared to have its compensations. At least one’s private affairs were one’s own, and one’s husband couldn’t abandon the marriage bed at the first inconvenience . . . unless he would rather sleep in a chair than beside his menstruating wife.

“Thank you for the offer, Marianne, but I believe I’m capable of discussing the matter with my husband without surrendering to a fit of vapours.”

“Of course, my lady. Will that be all?”

“There’s one more thing.” Hannah decided this was as good a time as any to raise the issue she found increasingly vexing. “Is it absolutely necessary to inform the entire household of every nuance of my relationship with my husband? I’m unaccustomed to residing in a household staffed with servants, and I own to finding the lack of privacy intrusive.”

“I’m not one to gossip, my lady.” The maid’s blush belied her words, and Hannah raised a brow. “It’s just very difficult to maintain discretion in a household of this size when the well-being of the master and mistress are paramount. The maids know which beds have been slept in, the laundress and her helpers know of any untoward occurrences”—she gestured vaguely towards Hannah’s underclothes that would need to be soaked—“and the footmen are informed where to deliver the breakfast trays.”

Hannah slumped in an armchair, defeated. There seemed little hope for her personal business being anything other than fodder for public conjecture. “I suppose they’re taking bets on how long before I become with child.”

“It’s not like that, honestly.” Marianne wrung her hands. “The staff are ever so pleased to see you and His Lordship getting along well together. They think the world of both of you, ma’am, and they want only your happiness. There’ll be celebrating downstairs when the announcement is made you’re with child. The whole district is poised to rejoice now that your father has declared the curse is broken.”

So would Hannah be if there were any possibility of such an event occurring.

“Thank you, Marianne. Please forgive my snappishness.” Hannah indicated the maid could depart, as she needed a moment alone before joining her husband. She refused to give in to the tears that hovered close to the surface when she was afflicted by her monthly visitor, but the temptation was even stronger than usual.

“William, might I have a word in private?” Hannah asked after they’d breakfasted together.

“Certainly.” He escorted her to their study, addressing her quietly as they walked. “You seem a little subdued this morning. Is there anything amiss?”

“Nothing I wasn’t expecting.” She sighed, waiting to continue until the door was closed and they were safe from listening ears. “I know we’d arranged to go riding this morning, but I shall have to postpone.” It would have been their third outing, and William had planned a longer excursion now Hannah was gaining confidence.

“Are you unwell?” He caught her hands in his, studying her closely.

“Not at all.” The solicitous manner she normally found endearing grated on her nerves, and she struggled to maintain a polite tone. “I’m sure you’ll be pleased to hear my courses have arrived.”

He raised his brows, and she rolled her eyes at his typical male obtuseness.

“I am not
with child, William. Your efforts to prevent conception have been successful.”

Hannah knew her husband would be pleased by the news, but his reaction went far
beyond what she’d expected. One moment she was trying to prevent her features from forming a pout, and the next she was being spun around in a circle.

“For heaven’s sakes, put me down!” she cried, and he immediately complied.

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I shouldn’t have done that considering your condition, but Hannah, I cannot begin to express how pleased I am by your news.”

“Believe me, I can tell.” Taking a moment to straighten her skirt, Hannah’s expression was as sour as her disposition.

“Don’t you realise how important this is?” William bent down so she couldn’t avoid his gaze. “I took a great risk so we could have a proper marriage. I’ve been desperate to know if the measures I’ve taken were effective, but speaking of such matters seemed indelicate.”

“So I’ve been informed.” She thought his unwillingness to speak of her bodily functions absurd in light of their recent and repeated activities. “I appreciate that you’re relieved, but you’ll have to forgive me if I struggle to share your enthusiasm.”

William took a step back. “You’re disappointed. You were hoping
you’d conceived.”

“I was not.” She raised her chin. “You were exceedingly cautious, and there were no grounds for hope.”

“But you still want a child even
knowing
it could cost you your life. Have you any idea what it would do to me if I lost you?”

“I understand.” Her tone contradicted her words, and William grimaced. “I
do
,” she insisted. “If the tables were turned, I’d be unwilling to put your life in danger. But I don’t believe the risk is as great as you fear.”

“
Any
risk is too great,” he said, and Hannah threw up her hands.

“Life is risk, William. Going for a horse ride involves risk.” Shaking her head, she walked to a nearby window and stared out at the cloudy morning. Their ride may well have been cancelled anyway, as rain appeared imminent, the weather matching her mood.

“It’s not the same,” he said, his words clipped. “I thought we’d reached an agreement, but I can see I was wrong. Is this what it’s going to be like every month, with you upset and haranguing me because you’re not
with child? Or do I have to worry about you sabotaging my efforts so as to get your way?”

Hannah spun to face him. “That’s a terrible thing to say. I would never behave in such a deceitful manner.”

William’s features remained fixed, and she pressed her hand to her chest.

“I’m sorry you think so ill of me,” she said. “You need have no concern about my raising this topic every month. I shan’t mention it again.”

After the barest of bobs, she strode towards the door.

“Hannah, wait,” William called, and she reluctantly complied. “It was wrong of me to say you would do such a thing. Please accept my apology.”

“Of course,” she murmured but did not stay. The tears she’d held back earlier were now distressingly close to the surface, and she would rather he not see them fall.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, my lady, but you have visitors.”

Marianne’s intrusion was timely, as Hannah was feeling much calmer but was unsure how to reemerge from her room. She’d already had Mrs Potts attend her and been forced to insist there was no need to send to the village for her sisters. All this fuss over one little argument with her husband was excessive. They’d argued before, and she imagined they would do so again. It was hardly calamitous. Hopefully the next time it occurred, the unfortunate event wouldn’t coincide with her feeling somewhat fragile, as the distress her tears had caused the household wasn’t worth the relief she’d received from shedding them.

“Visitors, you say?” Hannah rose from the chair where she’d been pretending to read and checked her appearance in the mirror. Her colour was a little high, but her eyes weren’t too puffy, which was something to be thankful for. Her gratitude would increase tenfold if the visitors
were
her sisters, though it was Grace she longed to see the most. She missed her best friend terribly, hardly having seen her before the wedding and not at all since.

“I told them you were indisposed, as you hadn’t advertised you would be receiving as yet, but they were most insistent,” Marianne continued. “A Lady Cromley and a Lady Wescott and their eldest daughters. They said you would welcome them with open arms in light of your current distress?”

“Good grief.” Hannah shook her head. A scant few hours had passed since she’d discovered she wasn’t with child, and the news had spread to the village already.