Passionate Bid (6 page)

“Mama, can he eat hotdogs with us?”

Sheez! What was she supposed to say? No? “Sure, bug. He can stay for dinner.”

“Ooh, you can stay!”

Friday was always a hotdog and chips night at the Saint Claire household.

But with her aching feet and back, she thought about breaking the tradition and eat microwavable lasagna tonight instead. But thanks to Sam for putting her on the spot, now she would have to grill the stinking frozen hotdogs.

She handed the towel to Julian to dry Sam”s hands and feet.

“What do you say to Doctor Ravenwood, Sam?”

“Mama, he said call him Doctor Julian.” To Julian, Sam said, “Thank you, Doctor Julian for washing me.”

“You”re welcome, Sam.” Julian lowered her back on the floor.

“Sam, why don”t you show him your butterfly drawings while waiting for dinner?”

“Okay, Mama.”

Without Sam in the room, the air suddenly became humid and thick.

Joanie”s nervousness whenever Julian was around revisited, making it impossible to steady her erratic pulse. “Can, can I offer you something to drink? Diet coke, wine, Coors beer?”

“Coors is fine. You have a charming home.” He pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Thanks.” Joanie watched him roll his sleeves, showing his arms sprinkled with dark hair. Images of him on top of her, naked and warm, quickly formed in her memory. She could see him again staring down at her, breathing hard as he filled…

Joanie turned around to dispel the images and opened the refrigerator to grab a can of beer. “Do you need a glass for your beer?”

“Nah, the can is good.”

Instead of handing the can to Julian, she placed it on the table.

“Thanks. Got rid of your glasses, huh?”

“Yeah.” He noticed? “When I broke my last pair, I decided to use contacts instead.”

“Your glasses were fine but without them, I can see the real shape of your eyes better.”

“Because they”re not magnified or look like an owl”s anymore?”

“Who said you had owl”s eyes?”

Joanie stared at him for a moment. Debating whether to tell him the truth or not. She decided to tell the truth. “You.”

His jaw dropped as if he lost his face muscles. “I did?” She laughed at Julian”s reaction. “It was a long time ago.”

“I”m sorry. Damn, I don”t remember ever saying that you have owl”s eyes.”

“Forget it. Glad I got rid of the glasses. My friend told me it”ll be hard to find Mr. Right with a pair of magnifiers for glasses sitting on the bridge of my nose.” Julian took a swig of his Coors. “Are you saying Sam”s papa is Mr. Wrong?”

“You could say that.”

“Sam”s papa has blue eyes.”

Joanie”s heart banged in her chest. “How did you know?”

“You have green eyes, Sam”s are blue. Really beautiful, by the way.”

“Oh, yeah. Sam shares the same features as him.” Good God, Joanie. Calm down, she mentally told herself. Julian was here to talk about their divorce, not Sam. My secret is safe.

“She”s a beautiful child.”

“Thanks.”

“How old is Sam?”

“Old enough to keep me busy. She”s crazy about going into the woods to chase butterflies and find all kinds bugs.”

“Why did you move? Innis Arden, your old neighborhood in Seattle is nice.

You had a great view of the Puget Sound and Olympic Mountains.”

The neighborhood in Seattle might have been nice, but the gossip that swirled around her was biting and harsh. So horrible that it overshadowed the beauty of their surroundings. “It was nice until…Dad grew up here and he thought it was time to come home to roost. Besides, we have bigger property here, which turned out to be great. Sam loves the woods.”

“I agree. Kids need places like this to run around. You should give her a pet.

A golden retriever is good with kids. Very gentle.”

Joanie nodded. A dog sounded great. But with Sam”s asthma and allergy to animal dander, they couldn”t have any pet around. She took out her last pack of Ball Park hotdogs from the freezer and grabbed the bags of chips from the pantry.

“Hotdog”s frozen. It”ll take a while.”

“Need help?”

Maybe start the grill because I surely don’t know how. “No, thank you.” Last Friday, instead of hotdogs, she made spaghetti and Sam complained. Now, she wanted hotdogs again. Ugh! She could do this. Her dad used this thing many times. Surely, it wasn”t that hard. There must be a starter around somewhere.

“Is your dad going be here soon?”

I wish. “No. Why?”

“I just want to be ready when he does.”

“Afraid he”d point his gun at you again?”

“The man could frighten an ox, you know.”

And Dad could be as gentle as a butterfly. “Don”t worry. He won”t do it again.”

“Did he finally get rid of his gun?”

“No. I think its upstairs hidden somewhere collecting dust.”

“Where is Saint Claire?”

“Bend Cemetery. He”s been there for two weeks.”

“Cem…cemetery?” Julian cursed under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear. “I”m sorry, Joanie.”

“It”s okay. Just don”t say anything about Dad in front of Sam.”

“How did it happen?”

“Aneurism. Dad went to bed and didn”t come down the next day.” Sam came back in the kitchen, carrying her scrapbook. “I”ll show you my biggest butterfly.”

“Bug, Doctor Ravenwood wants to see the drawing you made last night, not your whole scrapbook.”

“It”s okay. Wow, you have a scrapbook.” Julian picked up Sam and sat her on his lap. “What do you have here? What a collection. Did you draw all these?”

“Yup.”

“Really cool. And you”re only how old?”

“Am gonna be four on my birthday. This many.” Sam bent her thumb and show Julian four fingers.”

“I”m going to be thirty on my birthday.”

“You”re oooold. Like Papa.”

“I”m not that old.” Julian turned a page. “You like bugs.”

“Uh-huh. They”re cute.”

“I like bugs and all kinds of animals, too. That”s why I became a veterinarian.

I help them feel better when they”re sick.”

“I want to be a vetri…arr…unn…”

“…narian. Vet-uh-rinarian,” Julian supplied.

“Yeah, like you. I will make animals feel better. Like cats, dogs, bunnies, horsies, sheeps, dragons, dinoes, buff-aloooes…But I will buy an office. They can”t stay here.”

“She”s asthmatic and highly allergic to animal dander. On top of that, she”s allergic to cashew nuts,” Joanie explained.

Julian furrowed his brows at her, then rubbed the top of Sam”s head with his hand. “Poor baby. If the animals make you real sick, you could be an entomologist instead of a veterinarian.”

“I can feed the animals?”

Joanie couldn”t take her eyes off Julian”s hand gently rubbing Sam”s head.

The simple action touched the very core of her heart.

“Honey, entomologist study insects or bugs. You like bugs, right?”

“Yeah. But I don”t eat them. Tommy and Marcus ate ants with dirty feet.

They can be the en-o-ogist.”

“Hmm, maybe some entomologists eat bugs, but what they do is learn about insects. You”ll know about insect anatomy, metamorphosis and—”

“Unicorns are magical creatures! They are sparkly and can fly.” Joanie burst out laughing. When Julian raised his brows at her, she raised a hand on top of her head and made a cutting motion. She mouthed, “over her head,” then laughed again.

Julian grinned and shook his head. “Let”s see this drawing. You drew this guy also. Who”s he?”

“That”s Marcus. He”s my best friend. I punched him today because he chewed my hair.”

Joanie groaned. She”d call Mark and Dana to apologize. Her Dad had taught Sam to punch anyone who touched her without asking permission first. God, she already talked to five different parents because Sam socked them in the chest for sitting too close to her. Okay, her teacher said it was more like a tiny shove and the kids ignored Sam after she told them to please move. Still, Sam must learn to keep her hands to herself.

“You know how to punch?”

“Uh-huh? Papa showed me how to. Like this.” She punched his chest. Julian pretended to wince and fall back on the chair.

“Wow! You”re strong. Now, who”s this one?”

“My papa. He”s in a big ship sailing away.”

“Ah. I see.”

“You said it again! A expression.”

“You”ve got good memory.”

Sam and Julian, in her kitchen—it was an old dream coming true. Joanie watched her daughter talk to her father she never knew. She dreamed about this, of the three of them in one room, happy. But that dream died after Sam turned one.

It was also the same year when she finally stopped crying every night. She still thought about Julian and the what could have beens, what ifs and buts, played different scenarios in her head practically every night, but without crying.

Sam giggled at something Julian said.

Joanie watched. In two weeks, Sam would turn four. Too young to remember Julian. He was here only to serve his divorce papers, then he”d be gone from their lives forever. She could hardly wait to hear him explain about the papers he said he mailed twice but were returned to him without her signature.

Unsigned papers. Odd. Something didn”t add up here. Something was wrong.

Duh. Since the first day Julian expressed clearly that he didn”t want to be a part of her life, nothing had been right.

Joanie took a deep breath. Julian was here to snip the last thin thread that bound them together. She knew this time would come, but why did it feel like the very foundation beneath her was crumbling down.

She stole a glance at Julian. Cheek pressed against Sam”s temple, he moved Sam”s hair off her face with his fingers while they looked at the doodles. He held Sam as if he”d been doing it for years. It was so interesting how the two hit it off right away.

Sam didn”t hide behind her the way she normally would when meeting strangers. It was obvious that her daughter liked Julian at first glance. Was it possible Sam felt an invincible connection to her father? And what about Julian?

Sam raised her hand and touched Julian”s cheek. Julian slightly turned his head to lean on Sam”s hand. Oh my god! Quickly Joanie turned around, grabbed the buns and her last pack of hotdogs she sat on the counter to thaw then hurried out to the backyard.

She shouldn”t watch them. The image would only burn in her mind. Not good. But like a metal to magnet, her eyes drifted back to Sam and Julian again.

Through the cracked glass window, she watched. This time catching Julian”s gaze.

And then he winked.

Lord, she was blushing. She could feel it. Good God, she was acting like a seventeen-year old again. Joanie lifted the grill”s lid to hide her face. She concentrated on what he was supposed to be doing and forced her mind to think about vile things to paint Julian”s image. Sadly, it was Julian gently caressing his daughter”s soft cheek and Sam giggling at his touch that formed in her head.

Lord, I’m doomed.

After a couple tries, Joanie managed to start the grill. She lined all of the hotdogs on the grill the way her dad had done and closed the lid. Tapping the tongs on the side of the grill, she watched the smoke seep through the space between the grill and the lid. Better, she thought. Just watch the hazy smoke and you’ll be fine, Joanie. Forget about the gorgeous man in your kitchen. But for some annoying reason, she wanted to look at Julian again. And she did.

Julian was busy talking to Sam. Sam must have said something funny because he laughed and rubbed his chin on top of Sam”s head. If she could only capture the moment. If she could only—

She smelled something burning. “Shoot!” Lifting the lid, her jaw dropped.

Her hotdogs were black. “Damn it.” One side of the hotdogs was black but the other side still showed a bit of brown. They weren”t as juicy looking as her dad”s used to be, but they would do. She transferred the burnt, pathetic hotdogs onto the plate to make room for the buns on the grill. Sam liked hers browned and warm. What about Julian? Well, his would be warmed, too. She placed the buns on the grill face down, counted to twenty, and took them out to avoid ending up having the same fate as the hotdogs.

Joanie decided to set the table first before putting the plate of burnt hotdogs in the middle of the table.

The moment Sam spotted the hotdogs, she scrunched up her nose. “Eeww.

Black hotdogs.”

Great, bug. Way to embarrass your mama.

Julian, thankfully, didn”t say a word. He simply moved Sam on another chair and smiled at her.

“You don”t have to eat the hotdogs to be polite.”

“But I like them well-done.” He ate three hotdogs in a bun, half a bag of chips, and drank two cans of Coors. Sam, who insisted she sit on Julian”s lap, finished half of her skinned hotdog and a glass of apple juice before her eyes started drooping.

“Sam, you can”t go to sleep yet. You need a bath.”

“I”m tired, Mama. And I want my papa.” She shifted her small body to face Julian, then tucked her chubby arms under his armpits.

“I”ll bring you upstairs.”

Julian rose from his chair. “Let me carry her.”

“You don”t have to. I can—”

“I know. But my little friend here is as heavy as an elephant. You can”t carry her.”

Sam giggled. “I”m not a elephant.”

“Of course you are not.” Julian kissed the top of Sam”s dark head. “You”re as light as a butterfly princess with big blue eyes like, kind of like my grandma”s.

Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Sam. I”ve haven”t had a hotdog in a bun and chips for dinner in a long time.”

“I love hotdogs.” Sam yawned and snuggled deeper in the crook of Julian”s arms.

“Lead the way, Joanie”

“Wait, I need to get her doll.” Joanie took the doll from the dryer. “Bug, here”s Dolly.”

“She”s warm.”

“Yup and clean.” She went ahead of Julian in a hurry and went straight into Sam”s room. “In here. She”ll just have her bath tomorrow.” She turned the bed down and waited for Julian to lower Sam on the bed. “Thanks for washing her feet.

Could you please get her pajamas? Behind the door. Thanks.”

“Can”t she sleep in her clothes?” Julian handed her the pair of pink pajamas with pigs printed all over it.