Path of the Horseman (15 page)

Simon didn’t say anything to that. I didn’t
find it comforting. He lifted his dark eyes in the direction of the
humans.

“We can’t save them, Avery. Being around us
is only going to get them killed faster.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah I do. You know how?”

He turned his head to look at me. I hadn’t
seen him this exhausted since he came to the same conclusion I did
during the Tribulation. He said the same thing we’d both thought so
long ago.

“We weren’t made to save the world. We were
made to destroy it.”

I got up from my seat and walked away. I
couldn’t be around him right now. Not only would he shoot down
anything I say, but he’d crushed all my hope in a single blow. I
might not have had much to begin with, but finding the humans had
given me something I thought was lost when I saw the ruins of all
that I’d made. I thought I could pull a piece of the old world out
of the ashes, dust it off, and keep it safe.

This was what I got for being optimistic.

When Maddy came over to sit beside me a few
minutes later, I should have pushed her away. She was pretty much a
beacon for sunshine and rainbows and excitable puppies. But she
didn’t take a seat on the opposite side of the bus. She literally
sat down beside me, so close our shoulders were almost touching.
The girl was either insane, or truly believed that there was good
in everyone.

I didn’t know which was worse.

“Simon will forgive you,” she told me after a
moment.

“You just met him,” I replied. “You don’t
know how his mind works.”

“No, but I know how families work. Good ones
stick together and fight, take some time to brood, then forgive
each other and move on.”

“My family doesn’t work that way.”

“I haven’t met your parents or your other
brothers, so you’re right about that, but you traveled all the way
from Boulder City to a resort in the middle of nowhere to find
Simon. He let us stay in his hideout because you asked him.”

“I threatened him.”

“Let me finish.”

I glanced at Maddy. Her pure blue eyes were
intense, and shut me up.

“He helped us escape. You fought together.
You saved his life. Nobody forgets those kinds of things. Yeah,
he’s about as chipper as a mortician at a funeral right now, but
he’ll get over it. Give him space.”

I watched her face. I was covered in blood
and probably reeked to high Heaven. I was a new, dangerous stranger
who knew things she never imagined. But she hadn’t backed up an
inch. She didn’t look scared or disgusted. Maddy sat there and
looked at me like I was another Average Survivor Joe.

“You know this haven could be a death trap,
right?” I asked. “There could be nothing there at all. You could be
hanging onto this hope of yours for nothing.”

“I know,” she answered, surprising me. “But
if the Valley of Fire isn’t the home I want it to be, guess what
that means?”

I shrugged. She confused the hell out of
me.

“That somewhere else is.”

Forget confusion. I was full on lost.

“We have no communication with the rest of
the world, but we know it’s out there. We’ve traveled for months
and haven’t found more than bones. But we’re alive. We saved
people. We have a purpose. Hope nowadays is the most breakable
thing in existence, but not having it will get us killed. I know
that there’s a place out there were we can start over. It might not
be in the Valley of Fire, and we might not find it for another ten
years, but I know it’s out there. I can feel it. And if I have to
hold down every person I know and force-feed them that hope, then
that’s what I’m going to do.”

She had conviction. I wouldn’t argue that. I
just wished it wasn’t a lie; that there was a way for me to tell
her there weren’t any safe havens anymore. My brothers and I had
destroyed them all.

But the intensity of the hope in Maddy’s eyes
made me keep my mouth shut. I could tell her I carpet-bombed the
planet before eating all the babies, and she still wouldn’t let go
of her beliefs. Though she would beat me to a pulp for being a
napalm-loving baby-eater.

“You like the definition of tough love, don’t
you?”

Maddy grinned and did her lopsided shrug. It
was nice to see it back in earnest. “Someone has to do it.”

Funny,
I thought, holding onto the
mask of my smile.
Someone told me the same thing before I killed
half the world.

Ricardo was a good driver. He kept the bus
chugging away until the very last drop of gasoline sputtered out of
the tank. We ended up in the small town of Whitney, Nevada around
nightfall. We could have cut through Vegas, but big cities were
magnets for Plagued and Soulless. Vegas was one of the places that
had been pitifully easy to obliterate. So many people packed in so
little space with the worst hiding spots possible. The Plague
spread like wildfire there, and it got so bad that Simon didn’t
even have to drop by. Kade however… Kade loved breaking Vegas. He
was a hurricane when he went into the city to torch it.

Logan had been forced to follow him. I’d
never seen my oldest brother so angry.

The Rust Bus died around Tropicana, one mile
from the nearest gas station. We all had to get out and push the
yellow turd to the pumps. After nearly an hour of huffing and
puffing and shoving, we got the stupid thing to the gas station,
which was right beside a Wal-Mart.

Pushing a bus for about an hour, bad. Finding
a supermarket that might still be stocked with useful things,
good.

“Gwen, Jerry, Laurel, you stay here with
Ricardo,” said Josh. “Theo, Maddy, and the new guys will come with
me. We’re going to check out the Wal-Mart and see if there are any
supplies we can take. Meet us in an hour. If the place is secure,
we’ll stay there for the night.”

Everyone was looking forward to having
something to do. Even me. Simon was still sulking, but the smile
Maddy offered me when she passed lifted my mood. At least it did
until Josh put his hand on my chest and kept me from following her.
I flicked my eyes to his hand, then to his face.

“Mind taking your hand off me, Sarge? You
gave me some orders, I believe.”

Josh took his hand back, but didn’t get out
of my way. Instead, he made a show of himself by putting his right
hand on the top of his rifle. He was itching for a reason to use it
on me. Good thing I wasn’t that stupid or that arrogant.
Usually.

“Stay away from her,” warned Josh.

No point in asking who he meant. Even though
I was staring down Josh, I could still see Maddy’s honey blonde
hair swishing against her leather jacket.

“She might trust you, but she’s a good
person. She sees the best in people.”

“And let me guess, you see the worst?”

“No,” Josh said. “But I know what monsters
look like.”

That caught me a little off guard. There was
no way Josh could know exactly what I was. If he did, I’d be
doubling as Swiss cheese right now.

“Relax, Sarge. The pig-blood getup is
temporary,” I said, sweeping my hand up and down my nasty clothes.
“And as far as Maddy goes, I’m pretty sure she can take care of
herself.”

I stepped forward to get past him. Josh
shifted and put himself in front of me again.

“There is nothing I won’t do to keep these
people safe,” Josh growled. “Nothing. You might have the others
fooled, but I’m not. There’s something wrong with you. If I find
out that something is a threat to this group, I’m going to cut you
loose in a very permanent way.”

I had to thank Josh for this warning.
Proclaiming that he was on to me would only make me more cautious.
While I didn’t doubt that he’d carry out his threat if he needed
to, I wasn’t worried now. I knew who was most likely to stab me in
the back. Most monsters don’t get that kind of luck.

“Thanks for the heads up. I promise not to
piss in your coffee. Can I go now?”

Josh scowled, but didn’t stop me when I
stepped around him and walked toward through the Wal-Mart parking
lot, a graveyard of abandoned sedans and minivans. My heart pounded
quicker than I wanted it to, my hands itching for the hilt of a
blade as my mind prepared for a bullet in the spine.

But nothing happened, and it didn’t comfort
me as much as I hoped.

***

The Wal-Mart had tons of supplies. Too bad
most of it was useless. The fresh food sections of the store
smelled like rotten meat, sour fruit, and molding vegetables. The
dairy section was covered in dried puddles of melted butter,
cracked egg yolks, and spilled milk. The lights overhead were
broken or burnt out, which made reading expiry dates hard to see on
the few boxes and cans of food that I did find. Most of the
non-perishable food items had been cleared out. Clothes had been
pulled off their hangers, most in heaps on the floor. I was able to
find some new pants, shirts, and underwear, and I was lucky when I
found that the back room for the employees had showers with working
water. It was about as comfortable as taking an ice bath in
Antarctica, but I finally washed off the blood and stink clinging
to my body. You take what you can get in the apocalypse.

After taking quick shower and throwing on a
fresh black shirt and dark blue jeans, I left the staff area and
wandered around the rest of the store. The baby section was missing
food and diapers. A lot of the pet section was missing food as
well. The electronic area was missing batteries and radios, while
the crafting area was empty of scissors. The aisles for furniture,
books, and toys were left untouched. The hunting and gun part of
the store was nearly cleared out. Simon was taking any arrows and
bowstrings he could find, and Josh was staring at the gun wall. I
decided to skip that part of the store. Simon could take care of
himself, but I was pretty sure Josh’s threat extended to me and me
alone.

I felt so lucky.

The hour passed by quickly, and while no
hungry dead people attacked us, we didn’t find much that was
useful. There was practically no water left, and only a couple
purifiers. Most of the handheld lighters were low on fuel, which we
didn’t find much of either. The little bits of food we scrounged up
had to be eaten that night, and even then they were months past
expiration.

Commander Josh decreed that we sleep in the
store for the night, then get back on the bus and finish the trip
to the Valley of Fire. It was a smart move, considering the
supposed haven would be a graveyard if we were lucky, or the worst
trap imaginable if we weren’t. I had no idea if he bought into his
dream girl’s hope, Josh clearly cared about his people enough to
let them have one more night of relative peace and quiet.

After we cleared the aisles and met up again,
we huddled in the bedding section of the store. There were tons of
left behind blankets and pillows, and we dispersed them so we could
sleep on something soft instead of a cold, hard floor. It was my
turn for watch. Josh didn’t like it, but he was fully human, filled
with food, and relaxed. Even with all his hardcore military
training, he didn’t make it more than ten minutes.

I was sitting across from Maddy, resting my
back against a cushioned pillow wall. She was sleeping with her
face sinking into a soft, white pillow. A sleeping bag was open and
draped over her waist. She looked comfortable, but then she started
turning. I watched her toss and turn, knowing it wasn’t where she
was sleeping that was making her uncomfortable. It was whatever she
was dreaming about.

Maddy’s face was pinched and nervous when she
turned back to me. I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t use my
powers to get into her mind and take away her nightmares. I could
play around with anyone’s brain, but I didn’t want to do that to
Maddy.

I went through my implanted memories, digging
deep until I found images of humans comforting their loved ones. I
crawled over to Maddy and grabbed the edges of the sleeping bag.
She flinched and I nearly stopped what I was doing, but she didn’t
wake. I folded the corner of the sleeping bag so it cocooned her up
to her shoulders. Maddy tensed and whimpered, grabbing the covers
and pulling them higher to her chin.

I shouldn’t have broken my own rules, but I
wanted her to be comfortable. Being the happy, hopeful girl she
always was must have been exhausting. She could pretend otherwise,
but this world was fucked. Hope took its toll on even the truest
believer.

My hand gently rested on the side of Maddy’s
temple. Her hair was amazingly soft.

I let just a hint of black smoke seep from my
fingers into her head. I concentrated on the neurons in Maddy’s
brain, switching them off so her sleep became heavier. She sighed
and slumped under my touch, but wasn’t hurt.

Maddy was the first person I’d ever used my
powers on without trying to hurt them. It felt good to remember
that I didn’t have to poison everything I touched. I just wished I
could do more for everyone else.

My thumb moved down to the skin of Maddy’s
temple. I stroked it gently, moving closer to her eyebrow and
enjoying the softness of her skin.