Payback (Dueling Devils) (3 page)

After Demon left, g
oing back to sleep wasn’t possible. Her body might be weary, but her mind was alive and thriving.
God, why can’t I ever turn off my brain?
Ardy rolled onto her side and re-lived the horrific experience. Things could’ve turned out far worse. This life never felt more real than it did at this moment. None of the shit you saw on the television or heard about from others prepared you to actually be in it.
Thank God, he had a back-up plan. His life is completely out of control. What are you doing?
The sane part of her brain told her she needed to backtrack. Agreeing to be Demon’s old lady was more than choosing to go steady with a beau. It’s a lifelong commitment that practically placed a target on her back. He’s the President for Christ’s sake. In the light of day, away from the trauma, she wanted to back pedal.

I can’t take that decision back
.

Abandoning the pretense of sleep
, she sat up in bed and brushed her wild curls out of her face. She loved him. There was no confusion there. She just wondered if love would be enough. Her phone vibrated against the wooden nightstand and she jumped. Her stomach knotted. Her palms grew clammy as she picked up the phone. The sight of her mother’s name on her view screen had never been so beautiful. She held the phone to her ear. “Hey Mom.”

“Hi
, sweetheart. How are you?”

A million answers dangled on the tip of her to
ngue. She swallowed them down. Her mother didn’t deserve to have this burden on her shoulders. “I’m good. The kids are amazing, growing and thriving. It’s like any other nanny job.”

“
Is that so?”

The disbelief in her mother’s voice made her tread lightly.
“Why wouldn’t it be mom?”

Her mother huffed.
“Tell
me, how’s
Demon
?”

The contempt
in her mom’s voice made her sigh.
“He’s good, Mom.” She couldn’t keep her lips from curling upward as she thought of the dark eyed man who turned her life upside down and worked his way into her heart.

“
Uh huh, that’s what worries me. You don’t sound like someone being held against their will. You sound like someone besotted.”

“
Really Mom? What is this the Victorian age?” Ardy scoffed. “I’m old enough to know my own mind.”

“
Maybe. Many of the best love stories come from unlikely people thrust together in extreme situations. But so do horror stories.”

“
Whoa mom, no one said anything about love
,
” Ardy defended, trying to get her off the subject. She twisted a curl around her finger. The realization of love seemed too new and scary. Nothing she wanted to discuss with her mother.

“
You didn’t have to. I’ve heard your voice change over the past few months. You talk about Demon more than you realize. I’ve held my tongue for long enough as it is. Do not confuse hero worship with love. Eventually, he’ll fall off that pedestal. No man on this earth is perfect and he has a lot of darkness in him. You’ve always been a child of the light. Are you willing to give that up for a man you barely know?”

Her heart raced as her
mother’s words penetrated deep.
Can I survive in this world and still maintain my own identity?

“
Did we lose you, Ardy girl?”

“
Mom, you can’t lose me. I’ll always be your baby. Haven’t you drilled that into me, my entire life?” She retorted, falling back on the quick wit she’d inherited from both her parents.

“
Don’t be evasive with me. When a woman finds the man she wants to be with, things change. It’s not all about her family anymore. Hell, you stepped into a readymade family of your own, didn’t you?”

The waver in her mothe
r’s voice made her heart ache. “Mum, don’t cry.” Her heart ached.

“
It’s not every day you see your oldest come into her own. I know you think I’m being an overprotective mother. But we both know the situation you’re in isn’t normal. This isn’t the life I wanted for you though. It’s dangerous and unpredictable. I may not know this man personally, yet I know what he’s capable of. We’ve all heard the rumors. Are you sure this is right for you? Is he making you feel like you have to do this to pay for our debt, because it’s not worth it. He can have this damn bar.”

“
What? Mom no. No, it’s nothing like that.” Ardy sighed. The time for misdirection had come to an end. “I know it seems odd, me falling for him. He’s nothing like the men I grew up with and the situation is less than ideal. But together, we make each other whole. We fill in the gaps.”

“
Gaps, what are you talking about, Ardy?”

“
The gaps that get left behind by life mom. Those blank, empty spaces that make you sad and leave you feeling alone and incomplete.”

“
You’re twenty-three—”

“
And I haven’t been happy in a long time. Not really, we both know it. I love you and our family, but I can’t spend the rest of my life living for you. I’ve paid my dues.” The words made her feel guilty, but they also lifted a weight off her shoulders.

Her mother gasped.

“I’m sorry Mum. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just—I don’t’ have anything just for me. I never made a decision because I wanted to, with no thought to anyone else. I’m twenty-three. I still live around the corner from my parents, work in their bar and tend to my siblings. When is that going to end? What happens when they don’t need me anymore, they’re off living a fabulous life and I’m left behind bitter and lost?”

“
So, this is the answer? You run away with some dangerous man because tall, dark and handsome makes you tingle?”

“
No, don’t cheapen what I have with, Demon! You know nothing about him! He’s a good man. He takes care of his children and me. He accepts me for some god forsaken reason. I’m sure I wasn’t his ideal mate. This situation could’ve gone a lot differently and you know it. He’s honorable in his own way.”

“
Oh, because he lives by some wild west code of ethics?” Her mother scoffed. “You deserve better.”

Her
mother’s words pained her. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I have everything I need here.” It’d never been about money for her. She’d been waiting for a man to move her.

“
Please just take your time with this, Ardy. That’s all I ask. Think about your future. What kind of life could you possibly have with a man like that? Constantly wondering if he’s being faithful while he’s out on the road, or if he’s going to come home at all?”

“
Suddenly, you’re an expert on M.C. life? Any man can cheat. That’s not something limited to bikers or men on the road.”

“
Come on, we’ve lived around them your entire life. Neither of us is blind. Their reality is harsh.”

“
Maybe, but from the outside looking in, it’s also very beautiful and simplistic. These people are happy. Happier than most people I know who work nine to five and have the white picket fence.”

The sound of kids stirring in the
room drew her attention away from the heated conversation. “The kids are waking I need to go.”

“
Please just think about what I said.”

“
I will, Mom. Please give everyone my love and tell them I’m okay. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.” She disconnected feeling like she just sat on a couch with a counselor and talked out her feelings. For better or worse, she’d become too invested in Demon and his children to walk away now. Knowing she had a good fifteen minutes before they were up and moving about. She forced her body out of the bed, grabbed Demon’s discarded shirt and padded to the bathroom. It felt odd having other people in the house, but she understood the reasoning. She turned on the water, inhaling the steam in her lungs. Being afraid was okay. She would have to be inhuman not to be. What she couldn’t do was let that fear control her. Shrugging out of Demon’s shirt, she tossed it in the wicker hamper in the corner and stepped into the spray, welcoming the warmth. Inhaling the allowed the waters, to wash away the remnants of last night down the drain.

It was a new dawn. She realized how
Rocket and Harley were damn perceptive. They’d pick up what she had going on. Her mind fixed on the two precious children who’d wrapped her around their finger. She’d watched them blossom under her care. Rocket had begun to speak his mind and seemed truly comfortable with her.
Please let him be okay.
The thought of him regressing to the shy, sullen, spectral child she’d first met broke her heart.
I have to be okay, for their sake.
Finishing her shower, she wrapped herself in a fluffy black towel and walked to the room she now shared with Demon.

After she d
ressed, she placed a smile on her face and walked into the kitchen.

The boys in the living room hadn’t said anything, but pancakes had a way of waking people up and bringing them to the table for breakfast.

She doubled her usual batch of sautéed blueberries and raspberries for a healthy topping choice.

“Ardy?”

She glanced up and smiled at Rocket.

He
stood in the doorframe, rubbing his eyes. He was adorable in his motorcycle pajamas.

“Hi
, sweetheart.” Ardy flipped the pancake and walked over to envelope him in a gentle hug.

He buried his
face in her belly. “Where’s Daddy?”

She furrowed her brow
, deciphering the muffled question. “Your Dad? He had to take care of some business at the club, but he’ll be back later, okay?”

“Are you going to leave us now?”

Rocket’s broken voice banished any lingering thoughts she had of leaving. She gently pried his death grip from her waist and knelt. “Hey, look at me.”

He glanced up with watery hazel-colored eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re not?” He blinked.

“No honey. I’m going to stay here with you. Why did you think I was going to leave?”

“Because—
my Mom came back and she ruins everything. She made my Daddy go away.” Rocket glanced at the ground.

Ardy winced. She knew Demon took the betrayal hard. “You know what, buddy? Sometimes
, adults have to go away to get some perspective. Do you know what that means?”

“No.” Rocket shook his head.

“It means to get a clear picture. It’s like a time out for big people. You walk away from the problem, calm down and then you come back.”

“He was gone for a long time,” Rocket said.

“He had to make sure you and your sister were safe from her. Your mom, she’s got a sickness that makes her act strangely. That has nothing to do with you. You understand that right?”

“She doesn’t love us,
” Rocket whispered. “Only Daddy does.”

“Honey…
she’s mixed up right now. If she wasn’t sick, she’d be able to express her love properly.” The white lie rolled off her tongue. She had no clue what type of woman Natasha was, but she knew what this child needed to hear. “You know what else?” She put a finger under his chin and slowly lifted his head until their gazes locked. “I love you.”

He gasped as his eyes rounded.

“I love you and Harley very much. I’m honored to take care of you.”

“That’s why you
saved us, cause you love us?” A bashful smile tilted his lips up.

“That
’s right. You will always be safe when you’re with me, okay?”

“Okay.”
Rocket launched himself at her, wrapping his arms around her neck. “I love you too, Ardy.”

Her vision wavered.
She blinked rapidly to keep tears from leaking out of her eyes. This little boy who’d been through so much placed his trust and his heart in her hands. She patted his back, ignoring the smell of burning. Rocket could take as long as he needed.

Releasing her, he
stepped back, instantly going into
cool as biker kid
mode before her eyes.

Like father
, like son.

“How about you
go wake up Harley while I finish up breakfast?”

“I can do that.” He smiled and dashed out of the room.

This is exactly where I belong.
She returned to the stove, scraped the crispy, blackened circle off the skillet and started fresh.

A little while later,
they were all seated around the table with Rambler and Mumble. The adults pretended everything was normal while the kids enjoyed the
special
company. Her mind drifted to Demon.
What is he up to right now?

He didn’t need to tell her he was out for blood when he’d all but breathed fire last night.
A vein throbbed in his forehead and his nostrils flared. He’d curled his hands into fists so tightly, his knuckles turned white. A terrifying violence boiled inside him.