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Authors: Andy Griffiths

Pencil of Doom!

BOOK: Pencil of Doom!
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Andy Griffiths is one of Australia's funniest and most successful writers. His books have sold over 3 million copies worldwide, have featured on the
New York Times
bestseller lists, and have won over 30 Australian children's choice awards.

 

ALSO BY ANDY GRIFFITHS

AND ILLUSTRATED BY TERRY DENTON

Just Tricking!

Just Annoying!

Just Stupid!

Just Crazy!

Just Disgusting!

Just Shocking!

The Bad Book

The Cat on the Mat is Flat

The Big Fat Cow That Goes Kapow

What Bumosaur is That?

ALSO BY ANDY GRIFFITHS

The Day My Bum Went Psycho

Zombie Bums From Uranus

Bumageddon: The Final Pongflict

Schooling Around:

Treasure Fever!

Pencil of Doom!

ANDY GRIFFITHS

 

The characters and events in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

First published 2008 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Limited
1 Market Street, Sydney

Copyright © Backyard Stories Pty Ltd 2008

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Griffiths, Andy, 1961–

Pencil of Doom! / author, Andy Griffiths.

Sydney : Pan Macmillan, 2008.

978 0 330 42417 2 (pbk.)

Schooling around ; no. 2
Griffiths, Andy, 1961– Schooling around

For children.

Humorous stories, Australian.
Children's stories, Australian.

A823.4

Illustration by Nathan Jurevicius
Typeset in 12/16 pt New Aster by Post Pre-press Group
Printed in Australia by McPherson's Printing Group

Papers used by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

 

These electronic editions published in 2008 by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd
1 Market Street, Sydney

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

Pencil of Doom

Andy Griffiths

Adobe eReader format: 978-1-74198-237-4
Online format: 978-1-74198-414-9
EPUB format: 978-1-74262-210-1

Macmillan Digital Australia
www.macmillandigital.com.au

Visit
www.panmacmillan.com.au
to read more about all our books and to buy both print and ebooks online. You will also find features, author interviews and news of any author events.

Contents

Cover

About Andy Griffiths

Also by Andy Griffiths

Title page

Copyright

Dedication

1: Once upon a time

2: The beginning

3: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 1

4: Magic

5: Here comes Fred!

6: Yes Means No and No Means Yes

7: Jack's cartoon

8: Flying with Fred and Clive

9: An apology and a threat

10: Bad news

11: Nice things

12: Jenny's picture

13: Gretel's picture

14: Henry's picture

15: Jack's picture

16: The finished pictures

17: Chase!

18: The
Northwest Chronicle

19: Northwest Central Hospital

20: Back in class

21: How to cut a student in half

22: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 2

23: Jenny volunteers

24: Some very bad news

25: Newton's top ten list of things he is scared of

26: Escaped lion!

27: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 3

28: It's here!

29: Kitty

30: Mr Brainfright's guide to protecting yourself against lions in the classroom

31: My dream

32: Waking up

33: Rewind

34: Escaped pencil

35: Wishes

36: The monkey's paw

37:
Tap, tap, tap ...

38: Skull Island

39: Mr Grunt

40: Mrs Rosethorn

41: Hummer-time

42: Grunt versus Cross

43: Welcome back, Mr Spade

44: Mighty Boy

45: Mighty girl

46: Killer pencil

47: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 4

48: A bold idea

49: Drawing the pencil's doom

50: The pencil's doom

51: Mr Grunt demonstrates

52: Break in!

53: Spying on Clive

54: AVALANCHE! Starring Henry McThrottle, Jack Japes, Gretel Armstrong, Newton Hooton and Jenny Friendly

55: Things get worse than they already were

56: Avalanche!

57: Buried alive

58: Minutes ...

59: Hours ...

60: Days ...

61: Weeks ...

62: Months ...

63: Years ...

64: Rescue

65: Lift off!

66: Mr Brainfright's magic hat

67: Mr Brainfright's important lesson no. 5

68: The last chapter

For Judi, Lindsay, Kim, Ajax and Mad Dog

1
Once upon a time

Once upon a time there was—and still is—a school called Northwest Southeast Central School.

Northwest Southeast Central School is located to the southeast of a town called Northwest, which is located to the northwest of a big city called Central City.

You don't need to know where Central City is, because it's not important. What
is
important is the school. In this school there is a classroom. And in that classroom there is a fifth-grade class. Most important of all, in that fifth-grade class there is a student named Henry McThrottle who likes to tell stories.

That's where I come in.

I'm Henry McThrottle . . . and this is my latest story.

2
The beginning

It all began one morning when I walked through the front gate of Northwest Southeast Central School, across the yard, up the steps and through the door of the 5B classroom.

I was slightly late, and class had already started.

Not that you would have known it.

Mr Brainfright, our teacher, was hanging by his toes from one of the ceiling rafters.

His arms were crossed and his face was bright red.

Now, normally, if you walked into a classroom and your teacher was hanging by their toes from the roof, you might be a little alarmed.

You might ask them if they're all right, or try to help them down, or at the very least report the situation to another teacher.

But I didn't do any of these things. You see, Mr Brainfright wasn't a normal teacher. You
only had to look at the way he was dressed to tell that. With his purple jacket, orange shirt and green pants, he looked—and acted—like no other teacher at Northwest Southeast Central School, for which we were
very
grateful. School had been a lot more interesting since he'd taken over from our old teacher, Mrs Chalkboard.

Mr Brainfright greeted me with a big smile.

‘Good morning, Henry!' he said. ‘I'm just demonstrating how bats sleep.'

I nodded. ‘I've always wondered about that,' I said.

‘Well, now you know,' said Mr Brainfright, dismounting with a somersault and landing on his feet. ‘Any questions, class?'

Fiona McBrain put up her hand.

‘Yes, Fiona?' said Mr Brainfright.

‘Will we be tested on this?' she asked.

‘Certainly not!' said Mr Brainfright. ‘Any other questions?'

‘Don't bats sleep in coffins?' Clive Durkin asked.

‘That's vampires, Clive!' shouted my friend Jack Japes, laughing. ‘Don't you know
anything
?'

Clive narrowed his eyes. ‘I'm going to tell my brother you said that.'

‘What?' said Jack. ‘That bats don't sleep in coffins? He doesn't know either?'

BOOK: Pencil of Doom!
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