Perchance (15 page)

             
I ran out and was so out of breath
that I couldn’t even talk to Josie.  She giggled at me and said “Simma down girl.  We’ll make it.”

             
“
Crap on a cracker
, I
must look like the crypt keeper.
” I pulled down the mirror and tried
to put some concealer and powder on to cover up my dark circles.

             
“You could go without sleep for six weeks and still be gorgeous Remi.  Give me a break.”

             
I put some shimmer lip balm and s
ome apricot lotion on and threw my
hands up in the air.
             

             
“
That’s as good as it gets.”

             
We pulled into school and we were on time, but needed to get a move on.

             
I looked over the parking lot and didn’t see Cooper.  His car was the
re, and she looked like she was missing her best friend
.  We walked into school while Josie tried to make up cockamamie reasons why Cooper and Troy weren’t at their cars.
It went on and on. Alien
abduction, mob activity, invisibility.  She was hilarious this morning.  Troy’s humor was rubbing off on her.

             
I went to my locker and there was a note attached to a bag which contained a granola bar and a bottle of grape juice.  The note said that he was in the office trying to get some kind of pass that Seniors had to have in their car if they went off campus. 

             
I missed seeing his face more than I would ever admit to. 
Even though we had agreed that school was my priority, I couldn’t help the fact that he was on my mind and my priorities had been rearranged for me.  I needed to focus on school. 
What was I getting myself into?

             
After third period, I went to my locker to drop some stuff and was making my way to Cooper’s car when I stopped to use the bathroom.  I was in the stall, minding my business when I saw four pairs of matching tennis shoes walk into the bathroom.  Oh
great, Pippy, Skippy, Dippy and Rippy are here.

             
I didn’t know what their names were but those seemed to fit.  I was trying to wait them out.  But I was going to be late for lunch, so I just came out of the stall.  I washed my hands under their glare.  I thought I was going to get away without a comment, but I was wrong.  As I reached for the handle, the Pippy one started in on me. 

             
“Ugh, so I’ve tried to figure it out, but I still don’t see what Cooper sees in you Demi.
  Why would he want you when he can have this?
  Wha
tever it is, when he gets it, he’ll be done with you.
I’m not being mean. I’m just giving you some friendly advice.  I wouldn’t want to see a sweet girl like you get hurt.
”

             
I opened the door and looked back at her with more backbone that I thought I’ve ever had. 

             
“It’s Remi and apparently I have something you don’t.”

             
I walked out to the parking lot and got into the passenger side of the Cuda without a word.  All
of the sudden, the words that I
in seconds, resolved not to let bother me, were clouding over me.
   It was the same thing I had been warned about for years.  They love you and leave you.

             
I looked out of the passenger window while Cooper drove and Troy made jokes about his math teacher’s pants being from the 1970’s.  I purposely had my left hand occupied with holding the handle of the car door so Cooper wouldn’t reach for it.  I didn’t want to be touched right now. 

             
We parked at a place called Ruth’s and got out to eat.  Josie fired me a ‘What the hell?’ look but I didn’t want to say anything. 

             
I purposefully steadied my gaze directly in front of me as we made our way through the parking lot. 

             
“Hey guys, go get a table, I need to tell Remi something, ok?”

             
They nodded and he took my hand and brought me back to his car and sat on the hood.  I pulled my hand from his and he winced. 

             
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

             
“Look, it’s noth…”

             
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence.  Spill it.”

             
I stood there for a few seconds threatening my eyes that if they cried I would stab them with ice picks.

             
“Ugh…fine.  One of those cheerleader girls and her group of cheerfreaks were in the bathroom before lunch and that one blondie, you know…”
I pointed to my chest moving from left to right
trying to convey that I was talking about the one who rivaled Dolly Parton
“which one I’m talking about?”

             
“Yeah, like I’m gonna comment on that.  But yeah, I know the blonde screechy one. Why?
”
 

             
“She just spouted some stuff about not knowing what you see in me.  And God’s honest truth?  I don’t either.  I know that sounds girly and like I’m fishing for compliments, but it is what it is.
And then she said that when you got what you wanted from me you would be gone.
Can we please go eat lunch now?”  I said it so fast hoping that he wouldn’t catch most of it.

             
“Ok, so you completely despise her and yet you believe what she says and are giving her our time together?
Why?
” 
Damn him, why did he have to be so sensible about it?

             
I looked up to the sky trying to figure mys
elf out then
back down at his face.

             
“I have no idea. Stupid, huh?”
At this point I was selling tickets to my own stupid show.

             
“Nope, not stupid, you are the farthest thing from stupid.  But you trust me right?”

             
I nodded.
             

             
“And I trust you.  So, what you need to do is start trusting in
us. 
Plus, apparently I need to tell you what I do see in you more often.  And right now I don’t see any food in you.  So forget the
mean
teen queen and let’s go!”

             
“Ughhh…..” I groaned as he hugged me and then we went into the restaurant.

             
Troy made us laugh until we cried at lunch.  Josie was giving me a glare and I would tell her later what happened. We made plans to meet up Sunday after church to go to someplace called Tunica Hills and I was relieved that I wasn’t going to go alone with Cooper.  I liked him, a lot more than one probably should after a couple of weeks, but I wasn’t ready to get that…I don’t know…heavy?
  I mean I did, but it wasn’t part of my plan.  Cooper was throwing a wrench into my plan, but did I really care
anymore
?
This whole thing was befuddling me.

             
We got back to school and I had a history test already, first week of school, but I know that I Aced it.  We were all invited to watch a movie and eat pizza at Josie’s house
so we decided to meet up that night at six. 
When I got there, everybody was already there.  Josie’s parents were gone on a date and we all sat down to watch Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2.  I loved scary movies.

             
We all sat aro
und and Josie and Troy were
hugged up on one corner of the lovese
at and Cooper and I sat
together on the bigger couch.  He was sitti
ng close, but
not that close.  He held
my hand but that was it.  My brain and my heart were playing ping pong with each other.  One moment I was remembering that school and a career were my only priorities.  Then I would just look at him and know that wasn’t true anymore. 
I was overthinking and analyzing it so deeply that when something moved unexplainably in the movie I screamed like I’ve never screamed before.

             
Of course they all busted out laughing at me. 

             
Cooper put his arm
around my shoulders as he laughed along with the others.  We continued to watch the first movie and after it was over, Troy and Josie…um…excused themselves to another room.  It made me uncomfortable because Cooper and I were not getting physical at all.  And while that was good for me since I wanted to keep us not as serious, it was still weird being in the same house while they were…whatever they were doing.

             
I felt him
looking at me instead of the TV and I didn’t know whether to look at him or not. 

             
“Quit it.” I said while I smiled.

             
“You’re all blushy and you are about to tear all of the skin from your thumb nail.”

             
The side of my thumb around the nail was red now from me picking at it.

             
“It’s just kinda awkward, you know?” I said, hoping that he would catch my drift.

             
“Yeah, no kidding.  You want to leave? I can walk you home.”
Ugh, I did and I didn’t.

             
“Not really, but I don’t want to be here either.”

             
“What do you want to do?” He looked like he didn’t care either way, which irked me.

             
“I guess I can go home.” And I got up to walk out.

             
“Ok, let me walk you there.” And he opened the front doo
r for me and we walked towards
home. 

             
I was disappointed that he was so ready to get rid of me and it showed in my trying to walk at full speed.

             
“Jeez Rem, you don’t have to run.  Unless you are trying to get away from me faster.”
  He was laughing, but I wasn’t.

             
I stopped and glared at him. 

             
“I’m not trying to get away from you.  You just seem like you don’t care either way so I was maki
ng
it easier on you
.
”
I shrugged to relay my nonchalance about the whole thing.

             
He
looked at me like I was
in stage thirty three of the thirty five stages
of mental. 

             
“I was trying to help you get out of that situation,” he was creeping closer and closer as he spoke to me. “And I was going to invite you over to my apartment, but I didn’t want to freak you out or give you the wrong idea.  So then when you decided that you didn’t want to be there, I thought the best thing to do was to make sure you got home ok.”

             
By the time he was finished, he was almost in my face, toe to toe with me standing on the corner of his street and mine. 

             
He opened his mouth to continue and as he did I backed up a few steps.

             
“But let me just make it clear, crystal clear, to you. If I could Remi, I would spend all the time I could with you. Before school, after school, on weekends.  I would be the one bringin
g you to school and back home.
I wouldn’t want you to be angry and walking home right now.  I wouldn’t want you to take the word of some stupid cheerleader over me.
And that’s what you’re doing.  You’re still giving her our time and your thoughts.
  I would want you to want to spend the rest of the night with me and know that I would never try anything on you. 
I just want you to know that if you go home right now, it’s because you want to, not because I want you to.”