Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (6 page)

And then Ben swept her off her feet…

Leaning on her elbows, with empty glasses on the counter either side of her and the lively dance floor below, a cocktail was placed in front of her.

‘You had this when we first met, Jenny.’

She knew it was him, before she looked. He sat down next to her. ‘Thanks, Ben.’

He cocked his head. ‘You remember my name. That’s good.’

‘I remember your friend, too.’ She must have had eight drinks by now, and she could feel the difference.

‘Yeah, you made a mistake with him. He’s a creep.’

‘You hang around with creeps?’

‘He’s not a creep to me, but he is to girls.’ He nodded slowly at her. ‘But I knew you’d work him out.’

She relaxed a little, even smiled a bit. ‘Why?’

‘I talked to you that time. I could tell you were smart.’

Jenny shook her head. ‘He used to go on and on about how brilliant I was, just like you are.’

‘Except I mean it. I’ll tell you you’re smart, beautiful, and easy-going, ’cause that’s as much as I know so far. Oh, and that you pick bad boyfriends.’

‘Who else did you know, other than Geoff?’

‘Didn’t know any of the others, but I saw you with a couple in here.’

‘Were you spying on me?’

He looked down briefly and smiled. ‘I’ve wanted to buy you a drink for a while. This is the first time I’ve seen you on your own.’

‘You didn’t try to get my number from Geoff then?’

‘Nah, that’s wrong. He was gutted when you dumped him.’

‘Gutted that I didn’t sleep with him.’

Ben nodded. ‘Yeah, he was, is.’

‘So you know quite a lot about me really? I’m sure Geoff told you I’m a waste of time.’

‘No. I think he wants to get back with you.’

‘That won’t happen.’

‘Good.’ Ben swigged from his bottle, and Jenny sipped some of her drink too. ‘I don’t care about sex right now,’ he said. ‘I want to settle down with someone.’

Jenny slowly slid her glass along the counter. ‘I don’t trust anyone, I’m afraid. I’ve heard so much bullshit.’

‘I’m not a creep like the others. I don’t beg and I’m not needy. You could at least come out with me one night.’

‘No, come out with me!’ a drunk shouted from the other side of Jenny, as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his body.

Ben grabbed the drunk’s wrist and twisted it. His body involuntarily sprang towards Ben.

‘Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…’

Ben pulled him up close, and pressed his other hand into the guy’s face. The screams became muffled, and Jenny gasped when she saw blood running from his nose.

‘Ben, he’s bleeding. Let him go!’

Ben removed his hand, stood up and pushed him hard in the back. Jenny watched the guy crash into the floor, and eventually get to his feet and stumble away.

Ben picked up his beer.

‘You just assaulted him,’ Jenny said.

‘He assaulted you first.’

‘What did you do to him?’

‘It’s only a burst nose. He’ll clean it up in the toilet and stop being a dick.’

Jenny was shocked, but strangely not discouraged. The boy was an idiot, and if she’d been on her own, he probably would’ve groped her. He deserved to be frightened off. And she deserved to be protected. If he’d not interfered with them, nothing would’ve happened. And she felt appreciated. Ben could be arrested for what he did, but he did it for her.

‘Let’s go somewhere else,’ she said. ‘I want to dance.’

‘I don’t dance.’

‘Then you might as well go and find someone else,’ she teased.

Ben laughed. ‘Okay, I’ll dance, but you need to know that every single arm and leg move I do mortifies me.’

She laughed too. ‘Don’t embarrass me. I can dance…’

Jenny sat up on the edge of her bed and warned herself not to hope for too much. She didn’t need more hurt. But she felt so excited, and after making her way down the winding, oak stairs, and listening to his message on the answerphone, she couldn’t stop giggling.

9

‘Jesus Christ, it’s freezing in here!’ Dave rubbed his arms as he stepped into Ryan’s room.

‘Can you smell anything?’ Ryan asked him.

‘Such as?’

‘Dope.’

Dave gawked at him like a fish. ‘You’re smoking
cannabis
?’

Ryan tutted. ‘Not me, you fucking idiot. Ginger smoked it in here.’

Dave turned his palms outwards. ‘And who the hell is Ginger?’

‘Geezer I met down the gym.’ Ryan stretched out on his bed.

‘And you let him smoke in your room?’

Ryan noticed Dave’s head tilt thirty-odd degrees, a telltale indication that he was either in disbelief, deep in thought, or about to give several examples to make one simple point. Dave’s progressive model of feedback; he hears something, probes anything in his head resembling opposition, then presents his argument like a maze, starting near the middle and taking numerous wrong turns before the exit.

‘Yeah, I let him smoke,’ Ryan confirmed. ‘Can you smell any?’

Dave inhaled. ‘No I can’t, which isn’t surprising – your windows are wide open.’ He moved over to them and closed them. ‘It’s nearly midnight in the middle of September. Do you really want pneumonia?’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t understand why you let him do that. You hate druggies.’

Ryan sniffed. ‘Yeah I do, but Ginger’s different. He knows what he’s talking about. I respect him and have to accept his shortcomings. It’s his way of life.’

The shock soon dissipated for Dave. Very little Ryan said or did could surprise him anymore, though drugs had been one thing he thought his friend would never embrace. The man was a complete hypocrite, a lunatic with whom he had the misfortune of being good mates.

At times Dave worried that he might be pulled into Ryan’s insane world. He could pinpoint when Ryan had lost it, but the illness had worsened because Ryan didn’t care and didn’t want to listen
HHHhHHHHHhhhhHjjjjj
. Was this the same with every sufferer? Could it become a comfort when your thoughts and behaviour were sucked into the vortex of madness? Was it too late for anyone to help when this stage was reached? If that was the case, we must rely on our friends to warn us. Well, this nutcase couldn’t warn
him
! He could ask other people if he was still the same, but that’s close to paranoia. Besides, Ryan and him had pretty much kept themselves to themselves. That had always been the way. Right now, he wished it hadn’t been.

‘You must have made friends with that bloke very quickly,’ he said.

Ryan detected a hint of jealousy. Well what did Dave expect? There was too much in his life now that could not be shared with Dave. He needed a similar train of thought, not discouragement. ‘Yeah, we hit it off straight away…Well, not quite straight away.’

Dave pulled at his shirt. ‘What happened to the meticulous process of learning about someone? What about your views on pre-judging?’

‘I know, lad. Ginger’s an exception. You’d probably think the same.’

Dave shook his head firmly. ‘We’re talking about a druggie, Ryan. If he impresses you then fine.’ Dave cocked his head and his eye contact didn’t waver. He pointed a finger at Ryan. ‘But don’t compare my standards with yours, when it comes to this. You can change your outlook, but don’t even dare to manipulate mine.’

Dave was at his most serious and Ryan had to suppress a smile, something he’d learnt to do years ago. Every time it was as if a cartoon character was threatening him. He half expected Dave to hover in the air - his feet spinning like a wheel - and then sprint off to the horizon, leaving a cloud of dust behind. But Dave meant well and this didn’t happen often. He shouldn’t have said anything. This outburst was to be expected. Dave was still staring at him like he was part of a dream.

‘Have you thought about how he funds his addiction?’ Dave asked, and then paused longer than usual. Ryan knew he had to speak.

‘I don’t know if it’s addiction, Dave, it may just be recreation.’

‘Yeah, right,’ Dave jeered. ‘That’s what they all say. I speak from experience when I tell you that the majority of addicts commit crime to supply the funds. Think about that. Also, is it just for personal use or does he supply? Does he sell to innocent kids who haven’t a clue what they’re getting themselves into? And before you know it, they’re hooked like this Ginger slag. And then the cycle begins for them – Crime, drugs, supply.’ Dave had turned red. ‘If that’s a friend for you, then fine.’

‘Dave, I hear what you’re saying. I don’t know everything about him yet. I’ll have to do some digging.’ Should shut him up, Ryan thought.

Dave shook his head again. ‘I just can’t believe I’m hearing this from you. You meet some bloke, and days later let him smoke drugs in your room!’ Dave fidgeted uncomfortably… ‘Ryan, about three weeks ago you were talking to me about trying homosexuality.’ A long nervous pause... ‘Tell me you haven’t let Ginger bugger you!’

Ryan laughed. ‘No, Ginger’s not gay!’

‘Well thank God for that!’ Dave rubbed his eyes. ‘I need to use the loo. I take it there’s one on this floor?’

‘Yeah, turn right,’ Ryan said.

Dave nodded and left the room.

Ryan waited until he heard Dave returning along the corridor and then asked, ‘How’s Col?’

‘Same as always. He’s dating now though. A woman called Stacey.’

‘Yeah?’ Ryan responded, intrigued. ‘What’s she like?’

‘Fat dicks and gin apparently.’

Ryan laughed. ‘The boy can
pull
. You met her?’

Dave closed the door. ‘Why did you move into this hell-hole?’ he asked.

Ryan glared at him, annoyed that he’d changed the subject. ‘You’d better learn some manners, boy.’

Unperturbed by his friend’s latest mood swing, Dave walked to the window. ‘Erm, what are you talking about?’

Ryan ignored the comment. He wouldn’t let Dave wind him up. He thought of the guilt he’d feel afterwards. It was damage limitation, an intelligent strategy. ‘What’s wrong with the place?’

Dave looked incredulous. ‘Okay, look at it. The standard of living is poor – it’s a tiny bedsit. The wallpaper’s yellow with mould, the ceiling’s falling apart, the corners are damp, the window’s got bird crap all over it and the carpet’s saturated with piss stains! Why did you move? Your other place was nice.’

‘I think this is better for work.’

‘Well couldn’t you have chosen somewhere remotely habitable? It’s not as if you haven’t got the cash for somewhere better.’

‘I’ve got more important things to spend my money on.’

Dave watched Ryan move to the sink and drink water from the tap. Tucked into the corner of the room, it reminded him of primary school. The drain made choking noises as it devoured the liquid, and cross-headed handwheels swelled into rounded ends. The fourth-year pupils turned them off so tightly that the infants couldn’t use them. Ryan opened the mirror-plated doors of a small cupboard above the sink. The tap dripped - a worn washer, what a surprise.

‘So what important things do you have to spend your money on?’ Dave asked. ‘Your girlfriend?’

‘No.’

‘Have you told her about your murderous intentions?’

‘Nah.’ Ryan applied a deep-cleansing nose strip, then reached for the flossing cord and broke a piece off. He closed the cupboard doors and began to floss. The mirrors were smearless.

‘Because she might leave you perhaps?’ Dave suggested.

‘No.’ Ryan dribbled into the sink as he spoke. ‘It’s not her business.’

‘No,’ Dave nodded, ‘funny that.’ He shuffled over to Ryan’s bed, checking for any revolting stains before he sat down. ‘Don’t you want to know about the love of my life?’

Ryan paused his action. ‘I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Dave.’

‘No, of course not. You’re the only one with the charm and wit to keep hold of women you meet.’

Ryan sighed. He’d obviously touched a nerve. Dave had always been very sensitive, but he was so petulant these days. ‘How is she?’ he asked.

‘She’s fine. Actually, she suggested that the four of us go out for a meal.’ There was excitement in Dave’s voice. It was rare for him to be in a position where he could arrange social functions with females.

Ryan discarded the cord and worked moisturiser into his skin. ‘That sounds nice,’ he said, disinterested.