Personal Possessions (3 page)

I would feel that ache
return, and I would be back to the way I was, someone who used, and
manipulated people. A guy who didn’t give a shit about what anyone
thought of him.

“I think this is it, don’t
you?” I walked around the small office space that Greg was set on
becoming the Mac-Gentry Firm. We had been working out of our
apartment here in Boston since we graduated college two years ago,
and moved from Cambridge. Finally, we had become financially ready
to branch out, and open our own office together.

“This will be your
office,” He proceeded to inform me, as though I needed to be
brought up to speed on that info. Walking through the smaller of
the two offices, I appraised where I’d be setting up shop. I really
couldn’t care less about the size, I didn’t plan on being in it
very often. I was ready to get out, and begin purchasing and
networking.

I knew that one of us
would have to be the one to rub noses with those investing pricks.
Since I seemed to have the better personality, and by better I
mean, I wouldn’t fly off the handle and punch the shit out of one
of the head investors we would have to work with. Ever since Greg
had an issue with a comment a man made towards a nonprofit that he
had dealt with in the past, I was the schmoozer. Can’t say I blame
him, but I think the whole situation could’ve been handled another
way.

I continued walking
through the empty hallways until I reached the other office. It was
twice the size of what mine was, and had its own bathroom.
Whatever. I looked at Greg, and shook his hand

“
So partner, you won’t
have to make sure the shitter door is closed in here, will
ya?”

“Fuck no…and if they walk
in and see my ass, that’s their own fuckin’ fault.” Laughing, we
embraced each other in a huge man hug to seal the deal.

“This is really happenin’,
isn’t it Trev.” Greg grumbled in my ear, as I slapped his
back.

“Shit yeah, it is! And we
aint stoppin’ until we’ve reach the top, you got me,
brother?”

Patting me on the back as
well, he agreed, “No stoppin’ till we’ve reached the top, my
brother.”

I let him go from my hold,
nodding once to let him know our brother moment was over. We both
walked back to the front lobby to inform the realtor we would take
it.

“I propose a
toast!”

Greg was already
shitfaced, buying rounds for everyone at O’Malley’s, the bar that
we had hung out in since we moved up here. It was a small hole in
the wall bar that maybe held sixty people, but this was our
family.

Greg Gentry, had a huge
Irish family that had taken me in as their own. I respected them
immensely. I hadn’t seen, or talk to my family since the day I left
Georgia. That was a state I swore I would never return to, there
was nothing there that I needed or even wanted, or so I
thought

I didn’t need family, I
learned to be self-sufficient quickly. Bills had to be paid, and
drinking had to commence. It wasn’t like good ole’ daddy would send
me a monthly check anyways, so I learned how to take care of
myself; it was a necessity. I ended up telling Greg all that had
happened with my family and
her
. He was well aware that she was
a subject that was not to be brought up, ever!

“To Mac-Gentry! May it
develop into a force not to be reckoned with, so that it can bring
in the big bucks, and I can retire a fuckin’ millionaire!” Everyone
in the bar cheered enthusiastically.

Knowing everyone there,
they knew what we had been striving for, nights that we would stop
by for a drink almost at closing time because we had been up
putting together presentations for investors. Timeless hours that
we weren’t sure if we would make it, so we’d just say ’fuck it’,
throw our hands up, and come get drunk. We had waited so long to
achieve our dreams, that now the time for celebration was at
hand.

I always said that I
wanted to be the one who demanded, not the one who was being
demanded, well I was well on my way. Climbing that ladder one rung
at a time, and I was closing in on the top. I tipped the shot glass
back, and didn’t even taste the liquor going down, I just waited
for the burn.

Thinking back to the night
that I made that promise, brought back a flood of images. It seemed
as though now a days, all I did was drink. I drank away my
thoughts, all those memories that would show themselves in my
nightmares. The only way to get rid of them was to let them follow
the same path the liquor did.

I tried my hardest not to
think about the visions, the regrets that disturbed me every single
day of my, now pointless and meaningless life. I made myself endure
the emptiness inside, trailed by the loneliness for the sake of
never feeling what I felt the night I ended up losing
everything.

It killed me to not allow
myself to go back, and at least make sure she was happy, but now…
shit! I knew at that time I wasn’t stable enough. I couldn’t have
gone down that road. I left that street the night she came home a
married woman, and I never went down it again.

“Yo, Mikey!” I yelled to
the bartender. “Can I get a setup?”

I held up my shot glass so
he would know what I was drinking that night. “Sure thing, Trev!”
he hollered back.

“
Woohoo!” I heard Greg
yell from a table down the way. Seated in the middle of four or
five girls, that didn’t even look like they had finished college
yet.

“Trev, come join us, ya
gotta hear this story! Hey ladies, that there is my business
partner, we just opened our own investment firm,”

Rolling my eyes, I let out
a sigh. I knew where this was going to lead. Mikey set the four
shots down in front of me. Thanking him, I swiped up the first one
and tipped it back. Fuck, that sting was calming. Nothing made
everything better like the bite of whiskey. I finished off the
other three shots back to back, before asking Mikey to set me up
another round. Now that I had liquid courage and a clear mind, I
pushed my seat back and honed in on the girl that would fuck me
senseless tonight.

“Yeah,” I moaned out,
“Shit, that feels good. Don’t stop.”

Pushing her head towards
me, I leaned up against the wall in the men’s restroom. I couldn’t
believe how forward this chick was , she didn’t have a problem
coming up to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me in here. I was
pretty shitfaced, but when I asked what she was doing, she just
answered me by getting down on her knees and stating,

“Stacie’s hungry for an
all-beef hot cock.”

I couldn’t believe what
was happening, it seemed like I was dreaming. But these weren’t the
kinda dreams I had now. I didn’t dream at all, instead nightmares
hounded me. Nothing but betrayal, heartbreak and devastation
plagued my sleep; this must’ve been my shit reality because I could
feel her lips tightening around my shaft.

“Faster.”

Grasping ahold of her
blonde locks of hair, I slowly pushed her head against my thighs as
I thrusted forward. She knew just how to open up the back of her
throat, and the feeling I got when she would swallow almost made me
blow my load right then and there. Her mouth felt good, warm and
luscious, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t…
her
. I leaned my head back, closing
my eyes and just went through the motions to finish.

Pushing away the thoughts
that were eating away at my brain, I couldn’t even stand the
memories of voice invading my now impenetrable personal space. No
one was allowed in that area that was me. It took me learning the
hard way that being a nice guy got you nothing but shit on, so my
outlook on life was now to ’use and be used’, and it had gotten me
this far in the game, why not carry it on until the end.

Picking my head up, I
looked down at the girl on her knees before me. My hands were
suddenly running through long brown hair, tensing, I jolted
straight up. When she looked up at me through her eyelashes, I saw
the eyes that could see deep into my soul. The green eyes were
locked away, or so I thought, far away in the depths of my
mind.

“You ok, baby?” My memory
spoke to me.

It wasn’t the blonde’s
voice; it was
her
voice. That soft southern twang was prominent over the Boston
accent that was there not even sixty seconds ago, plain as
day.

“Don’t…don’t call me
that!” I demanded, as I began to push her off of me. She was
fighting me, the more I pushed, the harder her grip on the legs of
my jeans became. I looked around the dirty bathroom, needing to
look anywhere else other than at her. I could hear the beat of the
music coming through the walls as loud as a rumbling train, the
beat vibrating against the door.

All at once the music
became louder as the door opened. In walked a man so drunk, it took
him a moment to consider the scene he had just walked in on. I
began tucking my dick back in my pants just as he quickly turned
around, and walked out.

I didn’t know what the
fuck was happening to me lately, I couldn’t get away from these
visions. I would see
her
walking down the street, in the elevator, or at
the grocery store. At first, I had noticed just a glimpse that
would make me do a double take. Then the next time, the whole ride
up the elevator. Now they were lasting several minutes.

“Uh, I didn’t catch your
name, sweetie but whatever is bothering you; I can make things all
better.” The girl said, still down on her knees, wiping the corners
of her mouth.

“Shut up…Don’t talk!” I
insisted, now officially in panic mode. Each time my eyes would
roll to her, it wasn’t the blonde curls that hung down the sides of
her shoulders but rather the shoulder-length brown haired, green
eyed beauty that once possessed my heart and soul.

I couldn’t set my eyes on
her, hell…I couldn’t even bring myself to say
her
name, how fuckin’ insane was
that! I stumbled to the sink, and threw a handful of cold water in
my face. Staring at the drain in the bottom of the sink, I was
determined not to turn around.

“Get up!” I said as I
continued looking down in the sink. This little escapade was over.
“Don’t you even realize where you’re at? What’re you doing for
Christ sake? You’re on your knees in the middle of a fucking men’s
restroom?!” I wasn’t pissed off at her, I was frustrated with
myself. I was being such a pussy, I’d had enough. I flung around
expecting to see
her
, but it was the blonde again and she was downright
fuming.

Grabbing ahold of the
wall, she slowly raised herself back up and went to the mirror
beside me.

“I know where the fuck I
am, and I didn’t see you playing little fucking boy-scout when I
dragged you in here, and stuck your dick, in my mouth! Shit, I knew
I should’ve gone for the wired one.”

She was talking about
Greg. He always seemed as though he was on coke or speed. Nope, he
was just high strung, always moving, and talking ninety miles a
minute. That’s what made him such a great business partner, he
never let up until we made the deal.

Pushing away from the
mirror with a huff she left the restroom, she didn’t even wash her
hands. I was thankful that my dick only ended up in her mouth,
fucking nasty skank. Having had enough fun for one night, I was
done. With my drunken buzz fading fast, I decided that it was time
to go home and drink myself into a dreamless sleep.

~

I had my attention turned
towards the computer screen, when I heard the buzz of my phone as
my secretary, Judy spoke. “Mr. McHale, line three.” Thanking her, I
grabbed the phone. I was working on a takeover that just happened
to be here in Boston, it was a small company but this would be my
first “official” buyout. I was moving up in the world. We had been
in this office now for going on three months and I had been doing
my homework on Savage Industries. It was a mom and pop fabricating
shop, but it had potential.

This was the call I had
been waiting on.

“No, that’s not going to
work for me, I want to close by end of week, now if you want your
percentage, Mr. Wilkerson, I suggest you put a fire under your
client’s ass and have him ready by Friday.”

I know what they are
trying to do and it wasn’t going to work, I am not going to pay a
cent over what I offered them. I was in the business of making
money, not losing it.

I hung up the phone and
turned to my e-Planner and marked Friday’s date out as closing.
Wilkerson would call me back by this evening and give me the time.
I sat back in my chair, trying to relax. I had still been having
the nightmares, and it was starting to affect me. I wasn’t sleeping
therefore, I couldn’t concentrate. It was all a cluster-fuck. I
started to think about the memory that invaded my mind last
night.

That night. The night of
the fight between Bear and I, he said that he was going to show her
and I. Teach both of us a lesson.

“You think cuz you got
money, you’re owed something, well I’m about to prove to you and to
her that ya’ll aint shit!”

“What the fuck did that
mean?” I asked myself. It couldn’t have been
her
, he was married to her. What
would he have to show her?