Personal Possessions (44 page)

I went over to the table
and grabbed the laptop off of it and hurled it right through the
television that sat in the living room. Elle covered her head with
my hands.

I continued to throw
things and scream throughout the hotel suite. Elle stayed on the
ground while I had my moment of destroying whatever I could get my
hands on. I didn’t really care what she was doing or what she had
to say at that very moment.

“Those were my babies,
Elleny! I missed out on everything! You even had the nerve to name
them names that I picked out that were meant for me and you! Not
you and Bear!”

Elle looked up when she
didn’t hear anymore items being thrown. I know she could see the
tears that were streaming down my face.

“
He’s going to try and
take my kids, isn’t he?”

I could feel my jaw
clenching as my anger started rising.

Elle quickly sat up and
tried to grab a hold of my hands, I pulled them away from her. I
couldn’t deal with her right now. She lied to me and put my
children in danger.

“He doesn’t know that you
know and I’m still not leaving him. They don’t know any different
TJ, they don’t know about you. They know Rachel is my best friend,
but they don’t know that she is their blood relative.”

I closed my eyes at this
information.

That’s when I
started:

“I couldn’t make myself
write your name to address this letter to you, every time I’d start
to I’d find myself shaking.

I need you to think of
three things when you think of me, baby.

Remember today, the day
you left for college, us standing together and I looked you in the
eyes and vowed to you, that no matter what, I was anchored to you
forever and always. Honey, don’t forget that. You give my life
meaning. You are the reason I am who I am and I am with you always.
Please don’t ever forget me because you will continually be the
only thought that runs through my mind. Remember that I love you.
My love for you is like a river, it continually runs strong and
never does it recede. Remember that throughout your lifetime.
Everything that I have done and that I am doing and will do in my
life is because of my love for you. You were my first love, my only
love and my love on my dying day. Be happy, baby! I want you to
find someone that will make you as happy as you have made me. Never
will I be able to know that kind of happy again. You deserve
everything you have set out for, my love. Go…be what you are
destined to be; a shining light. The warmth of you heart, the
strength that you possess and your keen knowledge have been blessed
to you for a reason, fulfill that purpose. I want you to find
someone that you can grow old with, that can make all your pain
subside and give you memories that will be treasured between the
two of you until you pass. You carry with you half of my heart, my
love, whether you like it or not. Keep it locked tight, don’t ever
harm it and know that you are forever loved.”

Elle looked up at me as
though she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Did you hear what I
said….everyday….”

I wiped my eyes, but it
didn’t help. They filled right back up with tears again that
quick.

“Every day for four years,
I woke up and read that letter.”

I started to walk over to
Elle and stood right in front of her and repeated what I had just
said, just in case she was having hearing problems.

“For four years, I read
that letter before I went to bed. It consumed me, I thought about
what I did wrong, where we went wrong and why the fuck you would
marry him.”

“Trev-“

Her time for talking was
through. For seven days straight, I begged and pleaded with her to
talk to me and now she wanted to talk…too bad; it was my turn to
say what I had to say.

“No! You don’t get to talk
now! You’re time to come clean has come and gone. Every day was a
continuous struggle to even take a breath, Elle. I lived my life
hour to hour not even day to day.”

I had to stop because I
was about to lose my temper. This was when Elle cut in.

“I was eighteen, TJ…I
thought that what I was doing was for the best. You have
everything-“

“
I didn’t have my
family!!”

I roared over her
finishing her statement.

I pulled back and hid my
face.

Immediately, Elle placed
her head back in her hands and started crying.

“You had no right to keep
that from me, Elleny. You wanted me to go out and achieve all this…
shit, this actually means nothing to me….all this….”

I looked around the huge
hotel suite that was covered in materialistic items, things that
were broken and scattered everywhere; just like my heart. Elle was
now huddled down on the floor.

“…
this means nothing to me
when I would’ve been satisfied with you in a small house, attending
community college, getting to see you…..”

I paused again, taking a
breath to keep my composure.

”…
pregnant with my
babies…being able to watch them walk….teaching….Luc…”

I couldn’t even find the
strength to say my son’s name. This was killing me.

“…
all my football
moves….not fucking Bear’s….mine! If you had known me the way you
say you had, you would’ve known that would’ve been worth all of
this, tenfold to me.”

I got up and went into my
hotel room and I locked the door. I couldn’t look at her right then
and there. I needed to get my shit together and calm
down.

Then I was going to go to
bed so that, first thing tomorrow morning I figured out how in the
hell to legally become my children’s father.

Chapter 21

“…
That’s not good enough,
Loren! I need it ASAP!”

I had been on the phone
all morning trying to find out whatever I could on the chaotic
situations that I now had to deal with all at one time; adding my
name to my children’s birth certificates, making me legally their
father, getting this move over with and finally squared away and
then taking care of what I knew I couldn’t run away from
anymore…Elle.

I was still feeling the
sting of what occurred between Elle and me. I couldn’t think of
that day without the pain of the dull knife being stabbed straight
through my heart. Hearing those words leave Elle’s mouth over and
over in my head made nothing but anger and rage soar up from the
tips of my feet to the top of my head.

“They don’t know any
different TJ, they don’t know about you.”

“You had no right to make
that decision on your own.”

I spoke out loud to an
empty office. We would see about that, I would make sure that they
would end up knowing me.

There was one silver
colored lining to this whole clusterfuck of a mess, I ended up with
two beautiful kids…a boy and a girl. The thought of them made me
smile.

I picked up my phone and
called out to Mary who was sitting at her desk, basking in the
sunlight that beamed from the smile that was across her face. I
could hear the phone buzzing out there as she went to pick it
up.

“Yes, Mr.
McHale”

“Mary, remember the judge
that I had made the campaign contribution to months
ago?”

“I remember it, sir but I
don’t have his information right in front of me. Would you like me
to get if for you?”

“Yes…I think I might have
an idea.”

As soon as she left, I
picked up the phone and called the only person that could help me
pull off what I needed to have done.

“Hello?”

“We need to
talk.”

Three weeks had passed
since Elle slipped out of the hotel room there in Burlington and I
have not tried to make contact with her, that didn’t mean that I
hadn’t seen her. I was making plans and putting more pieces to the
puzzle together since I was now officially back in the Richland
area.

Kip had gone to the police
and let them know what we had found out about Bear and Bubba’s
little drug cartel, that happened to be found in the back room of
Topper’s strip club. Kip told me that the surveillance around the
place was huge. I made sure that he earned double for placing
someone out in front of Elle’s house to watch for Bear, from what I
had heard, he hadn’t been around in a while but my main concern was
not only for Elle, but for my kids.

I made sure to keep an ear
open at work to see if anyone would mention his name; still weeks
later…nothing.

I sat at my desk looking
over paperwork that Loren had sent me, when Ruby approached my
desk.

“This came for you, Mr.
McHale.”

I took the large envelope
from her and took a deep breath…it was Luc and JoJo’s new birth
certificates, they were finally here.

The day after Elle left, I
called Rachel and told her that I knew everything. I wasn’t up to
speaking with Elle, so I sent Rachel to get some hair samples from
the kids. We argued back and forth for a minute, that was until I
blew up on her for knowing Elle’s secret and not coming clean…her
story to tell or not we were blood and they were my blood. She went
and got the hair samples and sent them to a college friend of hers
that worked in some lab on the school’s campus now. I paid double
to get the result quicker.

Of course, the kids DNA
came back as a complete match to mine. I had Rach fax me the report
and took all the paperwork I needed into Judge Hernandez’s
office.

I ended up speaking with
Judge Hernandez, he had been away for a week long family vacation,
so as soon as we spoke, he was going to expedite the process and
send out the new birth certificates right away.

Now, here we were…the
proof that I was a father sat right between my fingers. I picked up
the phone to call Rachel to set up the next step in my plan. I was
ready to get it set into motion.

“
Hey.”

“It’s time,
Rach.”

“Trev, I don’t think I can
do this.”

“Right now, Rachel…I
really don’t give a shit what you think you can and can’t do. Now,
you’re gonna hang up the phone with me and call Elle. You’re going
to set up a lunch date…at where I said to set it up and then you’re
going to drop her off and go the fuck away.”

I’m sure she could tell I
was still very angry.

“Fine.”

I heard the click of the
phone being disconnected. I put the receiver down and opened up the
envelope as I stared at my name underneath the names of my kids who
still bared the last name “Jackson”. I suddenly felt nauseous. That
was the next step, changing their last names; and that couldn’t
happen soon enough.

I called the country club
and made my luncheon reservation. I made sure they seated us in a
room that was private…very private.

I stopped by Ruby’s desk
to tell her I wasn’t coming back the rest of the day and she winked
at me. I had to remember, I wasn’t in Burlington anymore. I was
back in Richland…I just rolled my eyes and took a deep
breath.

I walked out to my car and
heard the chimes of my cell phone ringing in my pocket. I got to my
car and stopped, so that I could answer my phone, I saw that it was
Kip so I answered right away.

“What’s going
on?”

“They found a body in the
river last night…wanna take a guess on whose it was?”

If I could have guessed
and hoped, I would’ve said Willie Jackson, but seeing how Elle
wasn’t ringing my phone off the hook, I took that not to be a
prayer that was going to be answered today.

“Someone I know?” I
said.

“Angela St.
Clair.”

I couldn’t say that I knew
her, I hadn’t ever heard that name before in my life. I was quiet
for a moment. Kip must’ve caught on.

“Man-whore…not sure as to
what did it…overdose or your buddy’s brother, just know, fisherman
found her face down in his favorite fishin’ spot.”

Shit, that was Bear’s
woman. She was dead and in the river, this was not going to be good
for Elle. I was thinking maybe I should be speaking with someone
other than a PI.

“So where do we go from
here?”

I threw my brief case in
the back of the car as I listened to Kip go on about keeping our
pants on, this wasn’t prom night… whatever the fuck that
meant.

“I got the house covered
and your other buddy, Noland…I think he can take care of his,
seein’ as how he’s a man of the law.”

I knew Bear was not going
to be a happy camper. I started to wonder if Elle had contact with
him lately.

“Maybe someone should
contact Elle to see if she’s spoke with him.”

I heard the air leave
Kip’s lungs as he exhaled his cigarette smoke out the window while
he drove only god knows where.

“Didn’t you just hear what
I told you, McHale…it aint time to expose ourselves yet…the house
is watched. Nothing’s gonna happen. Why worry a woman when ya don’t
have to…they do enough bitchin’ for shit they just think
up.”