Phantom Scars (26 page)

Chapter 49 - Sometimes Negativity is a Good Thing

I didn't know how long I sat next to Emma's hospital bed, but it seemed like an eternity. They all swore she was fine, that she had just passed out, and they were letting her rest until they had some test results back. When I asked what results, they said they wanted to get the pregnancy test results back, as she had obviously been very upset to pass out, and if she was still upset, it would stress the baby.

In other words, they wanted to let her wake on her own if she was pregnant. If she wasn't, they would wake her and see if they needed to settle her down then. Apparently, most relaxants were not good to take during pregnancy.

If she was pregnant, she would have to stop taking the extra anti-anxiety meds she was on, and she would have to stop her daily one during her last trimester. She would be a mess if she was pregnant. There was no way I could ever leave her. I would have to stay home.

Home.

Our home was gone. We had no home. I looked to my momma, who was fast asleep in the chair across the room. I knew she would insist that we stay with her. She had room. I knew we had insurance from when I ran the place. It was good, too. I hoped she had remembered to renew it. I worriedly rubbed my face and then looked at my girl.

Why wouldn't she wake up!

The doctor came in again, followed by Dr. Greyson, who had his little bag with him. He was smiling sadly at me. He walked over to my momma, taking her hand and kissing it. She woke and smiled at him sadly.

"The tests have all come back. She isn't pregnant, so we can try waking her. Dr. Greyson was listed as her psychiatrist, and since she's being treated for such severe anxiety, I asked him to be here when I wake her. I think it was trauma to her psyche that knocked her out, not her body. She really is fine physically, Mr. Clemens. I’d suggest you take her to an OB/GYN if you're trying to have a baby, though. She should be on prenatal vitamins, and she should look into other options for treating her anxiety," Dr. Brown explained.

"We aren't trying," I said, but I wasn't sure if he heard me.

He was looking at the chart and then looked up at me. "I didn't see any form of birth control on here. Did the nurses miss it?"

"No, but I'll be sure to take her in to get some."

He seemed content with my answer and walked over to the bed, pulling out a small vial from his pocket. I heard a little pop and smelled something bad.

My girl sat up, screamed and scooted to the top of the bed. I was at her side in seconds, pulling her into my arms and trying to calm her.

"They took me. I thought they took me again," she sobbed into my shoulder.

"No, baby, there was a fire. I had to get you out." I realized my mistake. I had traumatized my girl by not waking her, making her think she was getting kidnapped again.

Dr. Greyson came forward to examine her, letting her sit in my arms as he did so. "Do you have it under control, Emma? Would you like something to help you settle, or do you think you can handle it?"

"Can I go home? I think I'll be fine if I can just go home. Please, just take me home," she begged me, and I looked to my momma, hoping she would tell my girl what had happened. I didn't want to be the one to tell her that her safe place had gone up in flames.

"Emma, sugar," my momma started, "the fire took out the apartment and the restaurant. You and Devin will be staying with me at my house while it all gets rebuilt. Do you think you can handle being there and settling down, or does Warren need to help you out?"

My girl just started crying, and so Warren poured her a glass of water and handed her a pill. She took it silently, and after a while, she started acting a little drowsy.

"It was a little stronger than the stuff I usually give her. I didn't want to give her a shot, but she needed a little more help, since she's going to be adjusting to a new place this evening," he explained.

An orderly came in, and I signed the release papers, so we could finally go home. We would see what the fire damage was tomorrow.

I took Emma to my old bedroom and snuggled with her on the twin bed. My momma offered the guest bedroom to me, but I declined. I thought Emma might relax a little better if surrounded by my stuff like she was in our apartment.

I think it worked. My momma brought us some soup, thinking Emma should have something easy for her stomach, and then we went to bed.

Emma had nightmares, but I was able to settle her down, and we eventually moved the little twin bed out from under the window to the far wall. That seemed to help. I felt like crap for setting my girl back so far. I kept trying to figure out if I would have had time to wake her, but by the time I collapsed with her on the boardwalk, the stairs to our apartment had been engulfed. I didn't think it would have been okay. I think we both would have been trapped and died had I not just grabbed her and ran. I squeezed my girl tighter. I never wanted to think of losing her.

My momma knocked on the door and brought in a tray of food. Okay, more like a freaking cart. My momma was having cooking withdrawals. I wouldn't be surprised if we put on some major weight while we stayed with her.

Emma stirred next to me at the smell of food.

"You didn't have to do this, Momma," I said smiling at the huge spread.

"Oh, hush, sugar. We all have our ticks. Emma's is to stay close to home and you close to her, and me, well, I like to feed people. We all have needs, dear, and as family, we help each other out," she said and stuffed a pastry in my mouth.

Emma laughed, and I was so relieved when I heard it. If she could laugh, then I knew she would eventually be okay. We would make it through this.

"Clayton came by this morning," momma said a little nervously. "He has your bike. I had him take it to his place. He brought over the stuff you left on it. I'll bring it in."

I wasn't sure what she was talking about, until she came in with the pharmacy bag and a vase of flowers. "I took the liberty of putting the flowers in some water for you," she said handing the vase to Emma.

I took the bag and let out a sigh. "We don't need these now, but I guess we could save them for later. Do they go bad?" I thought out loud, as I pulled out a box of pregnancy tests.

I felt Emma's hand clench around my arm. Her eyes were wide in panic. I realized she didn't know. "They did a test at the hospital, baby, you're not pregnant."

She closed her eyes, and tears leaked out. My momma discreetly slipped out the door. I pulled my girl into my lap. "Hey, I thought you didn't want to have a baby right now?" I asked.

She looked up at me smiling and laughed a little through her tears. "Is it so completely wrong of me to be happy that we're not pregnant? I mean, I shouldn't feel so relieved, should I? Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, definitely not, baby, we haven't even been married that long, and there's so much going on. Heck, our place just burned down. Not to mention school and work, and you're taking pills the doctor said you shouldn't be taking if you want to get pregnant. A baby opens up a whole new can of worms, and honestly, right now, I think we're up to our ears in night crawlers as it is."

"That's gross," she said squirming away from me. She picked up a piece of powdered French toast and took a bite. "You just keep your mouth shut. I'm trying to eat here."

I stuck my tongue out at her, and she threw a donut hole at my head. Of course, I retaliated by attacking her with powdered sugar kisses from that pastry my momma had shoved at me. We were kissing, tickling and laughing, so I knew everything was going to be okay.

Chapter 50 - Uncomfortable Conversations

I had to find a way to discuss birth control with Emma. I knew if we were going to experiment like she wanted; there could be risks with me getting close like last time. I hadn't fully penetrated her, but the tip being inside of her while I released could have easily gotten her pregnant. I didn't necessarily plan on doing that again, I just knew if it did happen again, I didn't want her to worry about getting pregnant.

Of course, this was all a moot point, as we had done nothing more than kiss and snuggle for the past month, since we were staying at my momma's. Neither of us felt comfortable enough to try anything with her home. There just seemed to be something really wrong about doing stuff with your momma in the house.

"What's on your mind?" Emma asked, as we snacked on our lunch, or brunch, or whatever my momma was calling it these days. She was just constantly pushing food at us.

"It was something the doctor said at the hospital," I started carefully, unsure how to broach the subject.

She looked a little worried. "What did he say?" she sounded scared.

"He was a little surprised you weren't on birth control." I rubbed the back of my neck, not wanting to face her, as I said the “BC” word.

She let out a long sigh. I heard her shift in her seat. "I don't think I need it yet. I mean we aren't…you don't think I should, do you?" she asked a little panicked.

"NO! I mean, if you don't want to, then no. It was just, you know, that one time we got real close, and that's why we thought you might be." I rubbed my eyes in frustration. Why was this conversation so painful?

"But we're not doing that again."

"No," I shook my head. I suddenly wanted to get up and hide from her for a while. I felt like a pervert for bringing it up. I just had one last point to make. "We didn't plan on doing that in the first place. I just…it was an accident. I don't want an accident to stop you from doing what you want," I said and decided to get the heck out of there, before she smashed the carafe of orange juice over my head.

I was heading to my room, when my momma called me from the front room. I went to see what she wanted and was surprised to see Agent Green standing there, smiling like he'd just won the lottery.

"Devin, I'm so glad to hear you're alright. I came looking for you, and imagine my surprise to see that your place was burned down. I checked into that, by the way. The fire marshal said the vacant place next door was vandalized and set on fire. They don't think it was an accident, but they don't think it was for you guys, either. The graffiti said something like
‘ritorno la ragazza.
’ Whatever the heck that means. Sounds like a pasta dish, but since I doubt you guys know what it means, either..." he said waiting a moment. My momma and I both shook our heads no.

"Well, then nothing to worry about. I do have some good news for you, though," he said bouncing on the balls of his feet like a silly kid. "Turns out that you called in to the tip hotline when we were looking for Chester, and your tip just happened to be the one that helped us catch him, so..." he said with a silly grin, as he pulled something from his pocket. He unrolled a stack of little papers and flapped them at me, like it was the most awesome thing I'd ever seen.

"What's that?" I asked looking at the odd flopping papers.

"This is your reward money. The tip you gave us that led to the capture of Chester solved six missing person's cases. The tracking and evidence we’d been building against him made it an open and shut case. He didn't even bother to plead not guilty, so you earned the reward from six missing person's cases," he said slapping the checks into my hands.

How could he speak so jovially about the deaths of six people? Vivien had almost been number seven. I was sure my momma would have contributed to her reward money, if she had never been found. I felt sick. I wanted to vomit. This was blood money, if I ever saw it.

My momma saw my green face, as I looked down at the six checks in my hand. The one on top was for fifty thousand dollars. I quickly looked through the stack, seeing they all were for the same amount.

"Devin, dear, why don't you go get Emma and let her know Agent Green has come to visit?" she said, pulling Tyson into the kitchen.

I didn't want to hold these checks any longer and quickly set them on the little side table by the front door. I hurried out the back door, gasping for air, and then fell to my knees.

"Devin?" I heard Emma call to me worried. "Are you alright?"

I laughed blackly and shook my head no. "Tyson is here. He’s in the kitchen."

I felt her stiffen, and then she quickly pushed herself into my arms. I felt like a jerk. I realized now she had thought he was here because of her case, but that was not why. "It's just a social visit," I said cupping her face, pleading with her to calm down. I didn't have it in me to comfort her the way she needed at the moment.

She nodded okay. "Why are you so…upset?" she finally asked.

I shook my head at her. "I don't have a good reason. It's good news, really. It just doesn't feel like it. Go say hello to him, before momma stuffs him full of pastries. We don't want him becoming a cliché now, do we?" I teased halfheartedly.

She looked at me worriedly, still not convinced, and kissed my forehead before she went in the house.

I cooled down and was able to make it back inside, thankful that Tyson's mouth was stuffed with food and unable to speak. My momma was going on and on about how much time it was going to take to redo the restaurant. She was worried that the insurance would not cover the cost of keeping her employees paid until they were up and running again.

"You know, you should expand," Tyson said with his mouth full of food, further proving that he was an uncouth animal.

"Expand?" momma asked.

"Yeah," Tyson hummed though his donut. He took a drink of milk and nearly swallowed it whole. "The place next door, where the fire started, they're not repairing it. They're just going to sell it. I'll bet you can get a good deal on it. I mean if Devin helped you out. He has three hundred thousand dollars in reward money now," Tyson blurted out.

"What?" Emma snapped looking at me.

"Didn't he tell you the good news? He called in to the tip hotline, when he realized who Chester was. When we captured and convicted him, Devin's tip actually helped solved six murders. He has a mess of reward money!" Tyson said excitedly. "I'll bet he can send you to any college you want to go to now."

Her eyes landed on me, and she gave me a soft worried smile. I pulled her into my arms and buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in.

"You guys should buy a house, too. I'm sure you could get something decent if you wanted," Tyson went on, oblivious to our discomfort.

My momma shoved another pastry at him and changed the subject. "How's the search for Emma's little friend, Tatiana, coming?"

“I put in a call to Germany and found that when the compound was raided, she and twenty other girls were released and returned to their families. She’s living with her mother in Russia now, so happy endings all around,” he said with a goofy grin.

Emma let out a sigh of relief. Maybe someday, we would be able to contact her, and I could thank her in person for all she had done for Emma.