Pink & Green is the New Black (11 page)

“I know that girl,” he says. “She just moved here, right? She lives around the corner from me.”

“I hate her too.”

“Lucy Desberg! I have never heard you talk this way in all the years I've known you.” He's trying to make me laugh again, but so far it's not working.

When I don't say anything, Evan says, “Listen, just ignore him. Don't text or call him or anything. Act like you don't care at all.”

“I've tried that. But there's one problem.”

“What?”

“I do care. I care a lot.”

“Evan! Come on! The bus is leaving.” We hear Coach Tello calling from the entrance to the boardwalk.

“If you ever want to talk to someone that's not Sunny or the other girls at your table, I'm here.” He gives me a soft tap on the shoulder and runs off toward the bus.

Evan just may be the person to talk to.

I can't really talk to Sunny, because Yamir is her brother. And Annabelle and the rest of the lunch girls think I have this blissful life with an amazing boyfriend and another boy who likes me. I mean, that's kind of what I want them to think, but it's not true at all. I can't burst their bubble. And how would I explain the whole thing? I'd have to admit I've pretty much been lying the whole time.

I spend the next week really working on not caring. It's probably going to take some practice, but I'm positive I can do it. When I put my mind to something, I know I can make it happen. Plus, it's a little easier not to care when there's another boy paying so much attention to you.

Travis. It turns out he is a pretty determined person too. And he's determined to get me to like him.

“Come over Saturday night,” he says as we're on our way to band.

“Just me?” I ask. I've been talking to Travis more and more in band, telling myself I'm gathering Gavin information for Zoe. It's helpful to have something to focus on. I haven't really done much yet on my new Earth Club project, but in the meantime, playing matchmaker is good. And it's always more fun to help someone else. I'm hoping he'll tell me that Zoe should come over too.

“Well, no. Gavin and I are having a party.”

“Is it your birthday?” I ask. Claudia went to parties all the time in high school, and they always made Grandma so nervous. Usually the parents were away and they ended really late and Claudia came home crying. I hope Travis is talking about a different kind of party.

“No. We used to have parties all the time in Chicago. So we wanted to try one out here.” He smiles. “Nothing crazy.
Just pizza and soda, and we can hang out in our basement.”

“Oh. Um, okay.”

He smiles at me. “Don't sound so unsure. It's a finished basement, and we have a pool table and foosball and an old-fashioned pinball machine. It'll be chill.”

“The pinball machine really makes it for me,” I tease. “Now I'll definitely come.”

He hits my arm gently. “Okay. Great.”

He walks into band before me, and it's amazing what you can notice about a person when they're a few steps ahead of you: his jeans are a little too short and his sweatshirt is a little too long, but he has a cute walk. A confident walk. There's something nerdy about Travis. A cool kind of nerdy; he's not really trying to be anything other than who he is.

Georgina is the first one at our lunch table, and when I sit down she says, “I heard you were invited to the party.”

“Hello to you too!” I laugh, but she doesn't.

“Are we all invited?” she asks.

“I think so.” I open my lunch bag to find a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I immediately feel disappointed. Maybe I should start making my own lunches. “I mean, if you're not, I'll just make sure you are. Travis isn't the kind of person to leave people out.”

“Cool.” Georgina looks relieved. “Thanks, Lucy.”

Everyone else comes late to lunch, so for a while it's just Georgina and me sitting there. And that's when it occurs to me—my new mission in life, now that the cafeteria project has succeeded.

Maybe I can't control everything to have the perfect last semester. But there's one thing I can do. And part of it is sitting right in front of me.

Annabelle, Georgina, and Eve are so concerned about having boyfriends. I've known the AGE girls, as these inseparable friends call themselves, forever—it's time for them to be happy. We only have a few more months of eighth grade, and I want those months to be awesome for them. I may not know Zoe that well, but I also want things to work out for her and Gavin.

I may not be able to control my own love life, but I can help all of them. And when you help other people, you feel better. It's a fact of life.

Lucy's tip for surviving eighth grade:

Remember that every one of your favorite experiences was a new experience once.

“What are you wearing to the
party?” Sunny asks me over the phone on Saturday. I've been online most of the day researching composting programs in schools. It's actually much more work than I realized. And I bet everyone is going to find it really gross. It'll definitely be harder to convince people to compost than it was to turn the cafeteria green. “This is kind of a big deal. It's like our first
party
party.”

“We've been to thousands of birthday parties.”

“Yeah, but this is, like, different. Boys are throwing a party just for the sake of a party.”

“I guess so, yeah.” For the first time in a while, I'm not listening carefully to see if I hear Yamir in the background. Okay, I'm listening for that a little, but not that much.

“Evan's mom is gonna pick me up. She can pick you up too, if you want.”

“Sure,” I say. For some reason, it didn't occur to me that Evan would be there. I don't know why. He's friends with Travis and Gavin, so it makes sense. Plus, he's Sunny's boyfriend. But as soon as Sunny mentions him, my stomach goes knotty. What if Sunny spends the whole time with him? The AGE girls have each other and don't really need me. And Zoe and Erica will be joined at the hip.

I don't know who I'll hang out with.

Travis will probably pay attention to me, because he always does. And I like it, sometimes. But not all the time. I'm scared we'll get left alone together and I won't know what to do or what to say. Some days I like him. And I think I can
like
him, like him. But other days I'm not sure and I just miss Yamir.

My acting like I don't care about Yamir is just that, acting. Of course I care. I just can't admit that to anyone.

I wonder if I'll ever get so into this acting thing that I'll forget how I really feel.

I doubt it.

Evan's mom picks me up, and I say good-bye to Mom and Grandma. They don't seem worried about me going to a party the way they used to worry about Claudia. I wonder why. Maybe they trust me more. Or maybe it's because I'm not in high school yet.

I guess they're saving all their worrying for next year.

“Hi, Lucy.” Evan's mom smiles back at me from the front seat. “So nice to see you.”

“Likewise,” I reply, because it's something my mom always says.

Sunny cracks up, of course. “Lucy is now forty years old.”

I hit her on the arm, but then I start laughing too. I knew she'd say something like that. She's so predictable.

Evan's sitting in the front seat, and his hair is all glossy from some kind of gel. It smells really strong too, like a combination of men's cologne and the gardenia-scented counter cleaner my mom uses. I open my window a tiny crack, even though it's cold outside.

“So, Dad's going to pick you guys up,” Evan's mom tells him. “What time?”

“No idea,” he replies. “I'll call you.”

Evan's been surprisingly quiet this whole ride. Maybe he's nervous. He's never been to a party like this either, probably. At least not with Sunny. He's probably freaked out that they'll have to play some kind of game like Truth or Dare or Five Minutes in Heaven.

Come to think of it, I'm scared of that too.

I start to come up with escape plans. I can say that I have a stomachache. Or that there's a pharmacy emergency and I
need to help. No one will believe the second one, but at least it's something to have on the list in case I get really desperate.

“Thanks for the ride,” I say as I'm getting out of the car. I immediately try to think of what my mom, grandma, and dad are doing tonight. Grandma was going to the movies with her friend Flo. Mom didn't say, and I'm not sure what Dad's doing. I hope one of them is available to pick me up.

As soon as I'm on the front steps of Travis's house, I immediately want to leave. I feel like Sunny at the mall last year, before she started going out with Evan. She liked him but couldn't handle being around him.

Maybe this means I like Travis. Maybe I've liked him all this time and didn't even realize it.

I totally confuse myself.

Lucy's tip for surviving eighth grade:

Don't compare yourself to others.

The door is open and we
walk into the twins' house. Their parents are sitting in the living room reading. They don't say hi. They look up and smile, but that's it.

They don't tell us where the party is, but we see a sign that says
PARTY DOWNSTAIRS
.

With each step I take toward the basement, I become sweatier, my stomach gets knottier, and I feel more and more like I'm about to throw up.

This isn't good.

“Are you okay?” Sunny asks. “You look clammy.”

“I do?” Oh no. I may feel clammy, but I don't want to look clammy. “Actually, I'm gonna hit the bathroom. Will you wait for me?”

She nods but seems reluctant, like she's anxious to get downstairs. Evan says he'll meet us down there, and I immediately
feel relieved. I need a few minutes alone with my best friend. That will fix everything.

“What's wrong with you?” Sunny whispers when we go into the bathroom together.

“I don't know. This just feels so, I don't know, mature, and so different from the stuff we usually do.”

“Come on, Luce. We're in a basement in Old Mill with kids in our grade.”

“Right.” I don't want to go into all the reasons why I'm nervous, because I think that will just make me more nervous. I touch up my makeup, patting some concealer on my chin and reapplying my lip gloss. Even this little touch-up relaxes me. I take a deep breath. I give myself a cold, hard stare in the mirror.

Lucy, you can do this.

Sunny and I go downstairs, and there are already so many people there. It's not our whole grade, but it's close. The basement is big—pretty much the whole length and width of their house. And they have a big house. Maybe one of the biggest houses I've ever seen in Old Mill.

The AGE girls are sitting on the blue velvet couch in the corner, looking at their phones and sipping cans of soda. Erica and Zoe are standing in the other corner with their arms folded across their chests.